TTMA showers

[Ray]

The baby kind. Not the hygiene kind.

I realize there is a board for this but A) it's slow and B) you guys are my people.

My BFF is due 3 weeks after me and I will be hosting her baby shower. She isn't finding out the sex.

1) what were some of the things you really liked about your previous showers or showers you've been to?

2) what are some things you didn't like/side-eyed/think are over done.

3) any ideas about how to make a neutral shower awesome?

4) if you've ever been in the situation, any tips for making this easier to pull off on my end while 35 weeks pregnant?

[katelou]

1. I've been to showers where we had to do something like write advice or well-wishes to the mom-to-be on a notecard , and the hostess complied them into a booklet. I thought that was nice for both guests and the mom-to-be.

2. The only thing I truly hate is when the hostess passes out thank-you note envelopes and the guests are supposed to address the envelope to themselves. I should not have to do half the work of writing a thank-you note to myself!

I think shower games can go either way. Some people love them and some people hate them. I'd get the mom-to-bes opinion on that.,,

Good luck!

[housecarder]

1) what were some of the things you really liked about your previous showers or showers you've been to?
With DD we had a onesie decorating station. My family came up with some great things. I've seen one where they decorate blocks. You can make your own kits to match the nursery.


2) what are some things you didn't like/side-eyed/think are over done.
I hated the candy in the diaper game. Gross.

3) any ideas about how to make a neutral shower awesome?
On PAIF we've been doing old wives tales and guessing on the team, could be fun to have some guessing games.

4) if you've ever been in the situation, any tips for making this easier to pull off on my end while 35 weeks pregnant?
I'd say try to prep as much ahead of time so if you get tired you don't have a ton to do while super uncomfortable.

[cabbagecabbage]

- I loved my shower and I've hosted three showers for friends. What they have had in common was that they were fun parties for the guests, low-key (even though my shower was more fancy), and free from games (sorry. I hate shower games). Mine was awesome. It was a nice brunch buffet with mimosas and great food. A family friend lent her penthouse apartment so decor was minimal and the setting was gorgeous. We ate, talked, and then I did gifts. No baby decor or favors. I hosted one shower at my house. It is small but the shower was 12 people, so it was perfect. I hosted my sister's at a tea house. We did high tea in a cute little private room.

- I've only been to one shower I didn't like and it was due to not knowing the crowd and feeling uncomfortable. It was in a smaller house and I think too over packed. There were games in one room, then I was ushered into the kitchen for food and elsewhere to sit and eat it. It didn't flow. You need comfortable seating for everyone and a setting that allows chatting. It shouldn't be a cattle call.

-The shower at my house was for a team green mom. She didn't want a strong theme, so I just chose colors and found invites that I think had animals. It's been 5 years so maybe it was a jungle. While we didn't play games, we did paint onesies with fabric markers while we did gifts. It gave everyone an activity and people loved it. I don't think people care about the pinterest factor if the party is fun, so any theme or colors or decor can work if there is good food, good company, and in my circle mandatory booze.

-If you're 35 weeks pregnant and hosting, I hope you'll have help of the hired or borrowed variety. Are you catering or cooking? I'd try and get a team to help out at least for setup and tear down. I'd keep it nice and simple. Focus on the guests' experience over decor and have fun.

[melody330]

1) I LOVED my shower for DS, but I've never thrown one of my own. My shower was in someone's house, nice open floor plan with minima decorations. The food was catered and set up in the middle of the house and people are as they went. I think there were mimosas too. Everyone mingled. It didn't feel rushed of forced. Food and seating are key.

2) I haven't been to a shower where I enjoyed sitting in a restaurant at tables. No one gets up and mingles, or people push tables together to sit with people they know. It usually leaves people out who don't know many others there.

I also loathe shower games.
I did like, however, when everyone wrote funny things on a diaper with sharpie markers. Some were funny, some where practical. I could also get on board with a guess the sex pool or vote of some kind for a team green mom

3) don't over do the decorations. Keep it simple. Maybe just choose a color palette and work with that. Fresh flowers are always a good one too

4) get help! Hire it or get it from friends and family's definitely delegate. At 35 weeks you'll feel great in the beginning, but as the day goes on you will probably swell and tire especially if it's in the summer!

[Ray]

Thanks ladies you guys are amazeballs. +1 to loathing shower games. I love my mom and sister but my bridal shower was super awkward with all the games and I had a guest of honour chair up front so I felt on display and not able to mingle. although the food was great!!! And I loved seeing so many of my family members.

[Ray]

Feb 21, 2016 4:16:07 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

- I loved my shower and I've hosted three showers for friends. What they have had in common was that they were fun parties for the guests, low-key (even though my shower was more fancy), and free from games (sorry. I hate shower games). Mine was awesome. It was a nice brunch buffet with mimosas and great food. A family friend lent her penthouse apartment so decor was minimal and the setting was gorgeous. We ate, talked, and then I did gifts. No baby decor or favors. I hosted one shower at my house. It is small but the shower was 12 people, so it was perfect. I hosted my sister's at a tea house. We did high tea in a cute little private room.

- I've only been to one shower I didn't like and it was due to not knowing the crowd and feeling uncomfortable. It was in a smaller house and I think too over packed. There were games in one room, then I was ushered into the kitchen for food and elsewhere to sit and eat it. It didn't flow. You need comfortable seating for everyone and a setting that allows chatting. It shouldn't be a cattle call.

-The shower at my house was for a team green mom. She didn't want a strong theme, so I just chose colors and found invites that I think had animals. It's been 5 years so maybe it was a jungle. While we didn't play games, we did paint onesies with fabric markers while we did gifts. It gave everyone an activity and people loved it. I don't think people care about the pinterest factor if the party is fun, so any theme or colors or decor can work if there is good food, good company, and in my circle mandatory booze.

-If you're 35 weeks pregnant and hosting, I hope you'll have help of the hired or borrowed variety. Are you catering or cooking? I'd try and get a team to help out at least for setup and tear down. I'd keep it nice and simple. Focus on the guests' experience over decor and have fun.

I was thinking maybe of doing something backyard BBQ/picnic-y around lunch time. I can most likely bank on my parents and DH to help set up/tear down.

I really like the ideas of block and onesie decorating to keep guests busy while everyone just chats and eats and she can mingle and open gifts.

[cabbagecabbage]

That sounds like my idea of a perfect shower: something to make it about motherhood/babies but mostly an enjoyable party.

[cabbagecabbage]

Just to be a total AW, here are some pics from my shower almost 4 years ago. I remembered some decor but I guess there wasn't anything "showerish" at all. It was really fun. Here all the women in my family in the same lipstick, my gifts, and the aftermath of delicious food.

[littlesthobo]

My sister threw my shower at my house, she's in catering so she did a brunch. The only thing with having it at my place was that I spent two days beforehand cleaning, while 35 weeks pregnant. It was really tough to do. But then all the presents for taken straight up to the nursery, so that was nice! And I got to show the nursery off.

We didn't do any games. Definitely stay away from the diaper-related games. And no diaper raffle, tacky. One game I did enjoy at a shower was a "price is right" game, the hostess bought a bunch of baby stuff (wipes, diapers, shampoos, etc) and you had to write down how much you thought it was and the three people who had the closest total got prizes. And the mother to be got the basket of baby stuff!

A lot of grocery stores will do platters of sandwiches, desserts, veggies, fruit, etc if you pre-order. And I agree that you don't need much in terms of decor. Anything consumable makes a good favour!

If you just do food, gifts and mingling, you're good. If you don't have it over a mealtime you can just do snacks and appetizers. Mimosas sound delicious!

[ellebelle]

My mom threw my shower at a brunch place nearby. It was very cute and the ladies loved the mimosas and refills. It was also easy on my mom because she didn't have to worry about clean up or preparing any food since they took care of it all. I would definitely suggest something like that if it's in the budget at 35 weeks pregnant!

We played baby present/item bingo and that helped make the opening presents more exciting for the guests. I've been to showers where they haven't done something like that and we just sit and watch and it's honestly kind of boring. Any other games you can incorporate would help.

[Susan0utLoud]

There are some great ideas here! I will add that for my shower 2 years ago, my sister asked everyone to help build a library for the baby. People gave us their favorite kids book and were asked to write a message in the front. I love them!

[rungirlrun]

1) what were some of the things you really liked about your previous showers or showers you've been to?
Showers aren't really my thing. Can't say I was thrilled to have one of my own or to be invited to them. However, I sucked it up because it meant a lot to the hosts and I'm happy to celebrate friends so I do attend them with a smile on my face. One thing I really liked were coed showers so the guys can come too. And making it more of a get-together of friends and people who care about the mom-to-be rather than something all about the mom and new baby is better in my opinion. And serve alcohol - non-pregnant guests will appreciate it! At my baby shower with friends, we did a beer chugging contest with sippy cups - it was hilarious how hard it is to drink out of those suckers. So maybe this wouldn't be appropriate at a shower with your grandma, but depending on the guest list, it could be entertaining!

2) what are some things you didn't like/side-eyed/think are over done.
On the invite, do not tell me that you want me to bring a book or xyz instead of a card. Let me bring whatever gift I want. And if it's a large shower with many gifts, I think it's so boring to watch the mom-to-be open every present. Not my style personally. I think she can do that on her own time and then just write a thank you note. Or what a friend did was have a "green" shower so no gifts were wrapped. That way she could thank everyone in person for the gift without spending an hour opening everything.

3) any ideas about how to make a neutral shower awesome?
I don't think a neutral shower is any different than a pink/blue one. Have gender neutral colors and let people guess sex/baby's actual birthdate/size etc. It's a fun little game to get guests involved.

4) if you've ever been in the situation, any tips for making this easier to pull off on my end while 35 weeks pregnant? Never been in your situation, but try to do as much as possible in advance. And don't hesitate to ask for help from other friends of your friend. It doesn't have to be a solo job on your part.

[rungirlrun]

Feb 21, 2016 14:16:26 GMT -5 Susan0utLoud said:

There are some great ideas here! I will add that for my shower 2 years ago, my sister asked everyone to help build a library for the baby. People gave us their favorite kids book and were asked to write a message in the front. I love them!

This is interesting as I disagreed as a guest.  I think I'd like this as the mom, but I personally do not like being told what to buy as a guest.  I guess I felt stressed that I would pick the same book at 3 other people, and since everyone wrote in them, the mom couldn't return them.

[beebe918]

The only thing I feel strongly about in regards to showers is there should be alcohol, even if it's only one option like mimosas. Also I do not like games that everyone plays at the same time (like bingo or something) but I don't mind games that people play at their leisure. Like baby trivia or the price is right game where you have a ton of baby essentials and people fill out a slip of paper guessing how much it all costs.

Also an alternative to advice that I've seen is an alphabet book, if you google there are free printables online. Basically each guest picks a letter draws/colors something that's starts with that letter and signs it.

For a neutral shower I would just keep the decorations super simple. I went to a shower recently where they used toys as center pieces which was nice bc then the baby got the toys!

As far as being 35 weeks pregnant I would say just try to keep thing as simple as possible. If you're doing a BBQ I would just do something easy like meatballs in the crockpot, get someone else to man the grill. Keep decorations simple, I've never been to a shower and been like wow there weren't enough decorations. Get as much help as possible.

[Susan0utLoud]

Feb 21, 2016 17:19:08 GMT -5 rungirlrun said:

Feb 21, 2016 14:16:26 GMT -5 Susan0utLoud said:

There are some great ideas here! I will add that for my shower 2 years ago, my sister asked everyone to help build a library for the baby. People gave us their favorite kids book and were asked to write a message in the front. I love them!

This is interesting as I disagreed as a guest.  I think I'd like this as the mom, but I personally do not like being told what to buy as a guest.  I guess I felt stressed that I would pick the same book at 3 other people, and since everyone wrote in them, the mom couldn't return them.

I can see that. I only got two duplicates though and only about half the people wrote in the books. It wasn't an issue for me, but it could be I suppose. I will also add that it wasn't a requirement, just an option if they wanted to do the book thing.

[comicSans]

Feb 21, 2016 17:25:30 GMT -5 Susan0utLoud said:

Feb 21, 2016 17:19:08 GMT -5 rungirlrun said:

This is interesting as I disagreed as a guest.  I think I'd like this as the mom, but I personally do not like being told what to buy as a guest.  I guess I felt stressed that I would pick the same book at 3 other people, and since everyone wrote in them, the mom couldn't return them.

I can see that. I only got two duplicates though and only about half the people wrote in the books. It wasn't an issue for me, but it could be I suppose. I will also add that it wasn't a requirement, just an option if they wanted to do the book thing.

This was done for my showers as well. Across 2 showers (1 local friends and 1 family because we live far from all family) we got 3 duplicates and 1 of those wasn't from the shower, but a gift a friend sent later and hadn't written in. Some people just did a sticky note in the front or didn't write in them at all. I loved it too and most of the books we have are because of it, and DD has always loved books. For the duplicates we gave them to Grandma to have at her house.

Eta: mil did this for both my shower and sil's and since it was worded to do the book instead of a card, she was just expecting cheaper books, like the little golden books, about the same price as a card. We got really great books though.

[lostinfaith225]

My mom threw my shower. It was at our condo clubhouse. She loves scrapbooking and crafting, so she made most of the decorations herself.

Mine was in January, so we had a hot chocolate bar. It was a hit! You could do a lemonade bar! Or something similar.

We had finger foods. It was in the afternoon. There were games.

[rungirlrun]

Susan0utLoud and comicSans - I'm just weird in being stressed about the book thing! I think I was annoyed about how it was worded on the invite. I can't remember as it was a while ago, but I just felt like I had to buy a nice book, and I don't like being told what to buy for a gift. So had it been worded differently, it probably wouldn't have annoyed me. I love getting and giving books for kid gifts.

[Susan0utLoud]

No worries, rungirlrun. It's all good. I think wording on invite would make a world of difference.

[cocobellaf]

Normally I HATE shower games, so when I was assigned to do a game for a shower this year, I was so sad. I ended up finding these super cute BINGO cards on etsy that went along with the colors of the shower (peach and navy), so I printed those out and got a couple candles for a prize. Before the shower started, everyone wrote down what they thought the mama would open for gifts. First two to BINGO got the prizes. It was a lot less awkward than most shower games and it didn't take up any additional time. People got really competitive and it was fun.

Another shower (it was a bridal shower, but whatevs) we did on a Saturday morning (maybe 10:30?) and served easy brunch foods. Muffins, fruit salad, quiche from Sam's, juice and coffee... it was the easiest prep ever!!!

I've also seen a "decorate the onesie" or "decorate the diaper" bar, for a kind of come-and-go game. Just set up a table with supplies and let people come up and decorate and sit back down at their leisure.

[ginabini]

(FTM here... so this is strictly as a guest / thinking of my own shower coming up).. I think games can be a fun way to get everyone talking, if they're the right games. I positively DESPISE the game of "how many sheets of toilet paper do you need to wrap around mom-to-be's belly." I have ZERO interest in a large group of people trying to guess how huge I am. Maybe that's just me though. I love the idea of the Price is Right kind of games!

I went to a shower recently where they requested gifts be unwrapped (or wrapped only in clear cellophane). It was actually really, really nice!

[harlowjune1984]

1) what were some of the things you really liked about your previous showers or showers you've been to?
I like the showers where I am eating, while MTB is opening gifts. Otherwise, I feel bored. At least with eating, I have something to do while I am watching the gift opening.

2) what are some things you didn't like/side-eyed/think are over done.
I hate baby shower games. I would prefer to just having convos with people and catch up. I would ask the MTB, and find out what she likes. My mom hosted (well, she was supposed to help my friend but then took over completely and kind of pushed my friend out), and she knew I didn't like games. Instead of just skipping the games, she tried to cram as many as she could into the few hours, and made me participate in every.single.one. Most of them were ones where you had to come to the front of the group and do something. I hate co-ed showers or showers with kids. I feel like showers are a nice way of getting away from our spouses and kids for a bit (infants are a different story, as they don't do much). It would be one thing if it was something like a Sip'n'See after the baby is born, but an actual shower, I like it when it is just the women. I have been to way too many showers, where the guys are standing around having a beer, the women are chasing the kids and keeping them out of trouble, and I feel like it takes away from the relaxing/convo. I have also been to a ton of showers, where the kids are tearing into the gifts while the MTB is trying to open them....which leads to confusion of who gifted what, and you cannot see what the gift was, because there are 5-6 little kids in the way, bouncing around because they are excited about gifts. We have been invited to a lot of co-ed showers, and I never make MH go to them, and I leave DD home with him, so I can have a break with the ladies.   

3) any ideas about how to make a neutral shower awesome?
I was Team Green and there wasn't really a baby theme to the shower. It was more of just summer flowers and color coordinated plates/napkins/etc. The colors were bright and cheery, and it didn't scream pink/blue/yellow/green/baby.

4) if you've ever been in the situation, any tips for making this easier to pull off on my end while 35 weeks pregnant?
Ask for help. Plenty of people will offer and helping hand, but don't want to do all of the hosting. Even though my friend was hosting, and my mom kind of took over, the day of the shower....my mom recruited everyone that mentioned that they would help if needed. My husband's cousin came early and helped my mom make the finger sandwiches, my mom's friend came early and finished setting the buffet table, my aunt was there making all of the punches, etc. I hate hosting showers, but I will 100% lend a helping hand to take off a little stress of the host. Given that you will be 35 weeks pregnant, when someone mentions helping, have them help! Even if you only get one extra helper, that is better than doing it 100% on your own.

ETA: A few things that I totally spaced and thought of after I hit to post. 

[mcktymck]

FTM here so no experience with baby showers (haven't even been to one before), but my mom is throwing my shower so i have a lot of say in how I want it to be. I think we decided to play the BINGO game so that the guests have something to keep them occupied while I'm opening my gifts, and then whoever gets BINGO first will win a fun prize (probably a gift card or wine, but who knows). For shower favors we're most likely going to do little bottles of champagne or moscato, and tie labels on them that say something along the lines of "Baby Mcktymck is coming, the time is near. When you get the big news open the bottle, and send a cheer!"

As for gender neutral shower themes, you could do gray with another color (for spring/summer I think a yellow would look really nice). Maybe with a chevron-stripe pattern, or polka dots?

[glaze]

I agree with harlowjune1984 about eating while the gifts are being open. Makes it less awkward for the MTB too.

At my shower we didn't really do any games and my aunt had one of the kids pick 3 gifts in the pile to put a sticker on and then the person who gave those gifts got a prize. I thought it was a cute easy idea since she still wanted to give out prizes.

There was also a shower that I went to where they had a sheet and you could guess the sex, birthday, weight, name and so on of the baby. I thought that was neat and since your friend isn't finding out the sex that could be fun.