Newbie Playdate: The dummies guide to TTC

[cnf2013]

Feb 21, 2016 20:42:47 GMT -5 ladytiffany24 said:

Does anyone have super strong feels on EOD sex vs ED sex during fertile window? H got all worried last cycle that the reason we weren't getting pregnant was because "his loads weren't that big" since we were doing it everyday. Someone please give me a half decent, educated response to take to him.

The cycle I got KU was actually the cycle we had the least amount of sex during my FW. It only takes one day. We found every day to be too much for us and it was like as soon as we backed off I got KU. Total anecdote, but just my two cents. Do what works best for you guys and try not to stress about hitting all the days. As long as you hit one or two you can still get pregnant.  

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 20:56:28 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

From TCOYF, Chapter 13:

"If, after 4 to 6 cycles of timing intercourse on your most fertile days, you still haven't gotten pregnant, you should probably pursue diagnostic testing or fertility treatments. (Some couples may want to get a semen analysis even earlier, given how easy it is to do.) This advice goes against the common wisdom you've always heard of waiting a year. Remember, that advice is for the average couple who doesn't chart. If you have been timing sex during your fertile phase, and you know that your partner's sperm analysis is good, then becoming proactive after 4 to 6 cycles only makes sense."

What version of the book do you have?

ETA: That's chapter eleven for me and mine doesn't say that entire phrase.

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:00:08 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Feb 21, 2016 20:56:28 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

From TCOYF, Chapter 13:

"If, after 4 to 6 cycles of timing intercourse on your most fertile days, you still haven't gotten pregnant, you should probably pursue diagnostic testing or fertility treatments. (Some couples may want to get a semen analysis even earlier, given how easy it is to do.) This advice goes against the common wisdom you've always heard of waiting a year. Remember, that advice is for the average couple who doesn't chart. If you have been timing sex during your fertile phase, and you know that your partner's sperm analysis is good, then becoming proactive after 4 to 6 cycles only makes sense."

What version of the book do you have?

I am again not near my book but that is the same statement in my book on page 148.

[daisy818]

Feb 21, 2016 21:00:08 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Feb 21, 2016 20:56:28 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

From TCOYF, Chapter 13:

"If, after 4 to 6 cycles of timing intercourse on your most fertile days, you still haven't gotten pregnant, you should probably pursue diagnostic testing or fertility treatments. (Some couples may want to get a semen analysis even earlier, given how easy it is to do.) This advice goes against the common wisdom you've always heard of waiting a year. Remember, that advice is for the average couple who doesn't chart. If you have been timing sex during your fertile phase, and you know that your partner's sperm analysis is good, then becoming proactive after 4 to 6 cycles only makes sense."

What version of the book do you have?

ETA: That's chapter eleven for me and mine doesn't say that entire phrase.

I have the Kindle version that came out over the summer (June or July 2015).

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 21:02:09 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:00:08 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

What version of the book do you have?

I am again not near my book but that is the same statement in my book on page 148.

My wording is def different. Either way, WTF.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 21:02:45 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:00:08 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

What version of the book do you have?

ETA: That's chapter eleven for me and mine doesn't say that entire phrase.

I have the Kindle version that came out over the summer (June or July 2015).

Oh, I have a papercopy. Apparently, she edited to create even more trouble.

[Hooper88]

My midwife (who knows I temp/chart) actually did mention that if I was interested she would fill out a lab slip for my DH to do an SA. I called her on cycle 4 just to ask if nursing my son once a day would make a difference in conceiving (she said no it shouldn't because I am ovulating regularly). We have decided not to pursue the SA at this time but I was surprised she offered it.

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:04:50 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:02:45 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

I have the Kindle version that came out over the summer (June or July 2015).

Oh, I have a papercopy. Apparently, she edited to create even more trouble.

I also have a paper copy

[daisy818]

Feb 21, 2016 21:03:43 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:02:09 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

I am again not near my book but that is the same statement in my book on page 148.

My wording is def different. Either way, WTF.

Yeah, definite WTF.  There are so many ladies on TCF who get KU between 6 and 12 months of natural trying.  Even perfect timing (as in, charting and knowing it's "well-time") is only 20% each cycle.

I mean, sometimes I kick myself a bit for not listening to my GYN and having a lap done after 6 months, but I knew about the probable endo.  But I just wasn't ready after only 6 months to jump into surgery.  I can't imagine going through all the testing after only 4 months.  

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:08:14 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:03:43 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

My wording is def different. Either way, WTF.

Yeah, definite WTF.  There are so many ladies on TCF who get KU between 6 and 12 months of natural trying.  Even perfect timing (as in, charting and knowing it's "well-time") is only 20% each cycle.

I mean, sometimes I kick myself a bit for not listening to my GYN and having a lap done after 6 months, but I knew about the probable endo.  But I just wasn't ready after only 6 months to jump into surgery.  I can't imagine going through all the testing after only 4 months.  

Thats what I could never figure out...if the 20% was just having unprotected sex or actually temping etc. 

[daisy818]

Feb 21, 2016 21:07:00 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

My midwife (who knows I temp/chart) actually did mention that if I was interested she would fill out a lab slip for my DH to do an SA. I called her on cycle 4 just to ask if nursing my son once a day would make a difference in conceiving (she said no it shouldn't because I am ovulating regularly). We have decided not to pursue the SA at this time but I was surprised she offered it.

My GYN and RE both were thinking an SA for my DH was only a formality since he had a kid 12 years ago. I'm really shocked they would be jumping all over an SA when you guys have such a young child.

[daisy818]

Feb 21, 2016 21:10:11 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:08:14 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Yeah, definite WTF.  There are so many ladies on TCF who get KU between 6 and 12 months of natural trying.  Even perfect timing (as in, charting and knowing it's "well-time") is only 20% each cycle.

I mean, sometimes I kick myself a bit for not listening to my GYN and having a lap done after 6 months, but I knew about the probable endo.  But I just wasn't ready after only 6 months to jump into surgery.  I can't imagine going through all the testing after only 4 months.  

Thats what I could never figure out...if the 20% was just having unprotected sex or actually temping etc. 

Yeah, my RE said 20% was with perfect timing.

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:11:46 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:10:11 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

Thats what I could never figure out...if the 20% was just having unprotected sex or actually temping etc. 

Yeah, my RE said 20% was with perfect timing.

Good to know Thanks!

[icedtea]

Feb 21, 2016 21:08:14 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:03:43 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

My wording is def different. Either way, WTF.

Yeah, definite WTF.  There are so many ladies on TCF who get KU between 6 and 12 months of natural trying.  Even perfect timing (as in, charting and knowing it's "well-time") is only 20% each cycle.

I mean, sometimes I kick myself a bit for not listening to my GYN and having a lap done after 6 months, but I knew about the probable endo.  But I just wasn't ready after only 6 months to jump into surgery.  I can't imagine going through all the testing after only 4 months.  

I've been putting off calling mine for the same reason. I have severe endo and we were talking about me having the surgery again even before I was TTC (for pain reasons). The recovery wasn't terrible last time, but still nothing I want to drive back into.

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:11:11 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:07:00 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

My midwife (who knows I temp/chart) actually did mention that if I was interested she would fill out a lab slip for my DH to do an SA. I called her on cycle 4 just to ask if nursing my son once a day would make a difference in conceiving (she said no it shouldn't because I am ovulating regularly). We have decided not to pursue the SA at this time but I was surprised she offered it.

My GYN and RE both were thinking an SA for my DH was only a formality since he had a kid 12 years ago. I'm really shocked they would be jumping all over an SA when you guys have such a young child.

I was stunned myself.  I said "Well do you recommend I do that then?" She said "It wouldn't hurt".  Well duh of course it wouldn't hurt but is it really necessary?  We will hold off for a few months more at least. 

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 21:14:12 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:11:11 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

My GYN and RE both were thinking an SA for my DH was only a formality since he had a kid 12 years ago. I'm really shocked they would be jumping all over an SA when you guys have such a young child.

I was stunned myself.  I said "Well do you recommend I do that then?" She said "It wouldn't hurt".  Well duh of course it wouldn't hurt but is it really necessary?  We will hold off for a few months more at least. 

If she starts pushing clomid without testing you need to run. Do you hear me?

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:16:22 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:14:12 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

I was stunned myself.  I said "Well do you recommend I do that then?" She said "It wouldn't hurt".  Well duh of course it wouldn't hurt but is it really necessary?  We will hold off for a few months more at least. 

If she starts pushing clomid without testing you need to run. Do you hear me?

You got it!!!!!  I feel like she wouldn't push clomid without proper testing but who the hell knows. 

[ceejay]

Feb 21, 2016 20:43:57 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

Feb 21, 2016 20:39:22 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Hooper88 Ok. I need to know what page you found that info on. I have the book in my lap.

I just looked at my copy and at the beginning of Chapter 15 it said to have an SA done on your partner after 4 cycles, which is kind of insane IMO.  

4 cycles is a little crazy.

However, I will say as part of a couple who has an MFI diagnosis, I really wish it was the norm for men to get SAs after maybe 6-8 months of TTC. MH has 0-1% morph so we basically had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant the entire first year we were trying. It's never seemed "fair" to me that women who don't ovulate or have PCOS are allowed to seek help after 6 months, but you could have an MFI diagnosis and not be allowed to seek help for a year.

It's hard to balance "borrowing trouble" with actually having trouble that could be discovered earlier...

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 21:34:28 GMT -5 ceejay said:

Feb 21, 2016 20:43:57 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

I just looked at my copy and at the beginning of Chapter 15 it said to have an SA done on your partner after 4 cycles, which is kind of insane IMO.  

4 cycles is a little crazy.

However, I will say as part of a couple who has an MFI diagnosis, I really wish it was the norm for men to get SAs after maybe 6-8 months of TTC. MH has 0-1% morph so we basically had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant the entire first year we were trying. It's never seemed "fair" to me that women who don't ovulate or have PCOS are allowed to seek help after 6 months, but you could have an MFI diagnosis and not be allowed to seek help for a year.

It's hard to balance "borrowing trouble" with actually having trouble that could be discovered earlier...

It's an antiquated way of thinking that still places the majority of the "blame" on women for fertility issues.

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:34:28 GMT -5 ceejay said:

Feb 21, 2016 20:43:57 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

I just looked at my copy and at the beginning of Chapter 15 it said to have an SA done on your partner after 4 cycles, which is kind of insane IMO.  

4 cycles is a little crazy.

However, I will say as part of a couple who has an MFI diagnosis, I really wish it was the norm for men to get SAs after maybe 6-8 months of TTC. MH has 0-1% morph so we basically had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant the entire first year we were trying. It's never seemed "fair" to me that women who don't ovulate or have PCOS are allowed to seek help after 6 months, but you could have an MFI diagnosis and not be allowed to seek help for a year.

It's hard to balance "borrowing trouble" with actually having trouble that could be discovered earlier...

I can definitely see that, especially since SAs seem relatively inexpensive and easy to do.  In my case I was more surprised she offered since we have a child under the age of two...I mean his sperm couldn't change that much in that short amount of time.

[icedtea]

Feb 21, 2016 21:21:10 GMT -5 millimeter314 said:

icedtea

I had stage 2 removed about 3 years ago. My RE said it grows back about 10% per year, but I've been concerned it's grown back faster.

How long ago was your surgery? I'm just wondering if this is something I should push a little more.

My surgery was about 8 years ago. I was on various hormonal BC in efforts to control the growth till last July.

I talked to my doctor about it and we agreed to give me six months of trying and then assess pain/success/etc. It really affects my sex life so we wanted to see if it made things too difficult.

If you haven't had an ultrasound recently and are having a lot of pain, it couldn't hurt to check it out. I am a baby about ultrasounds (pain I can take, but don't tell me I can't pee).

Apologies for the novel

[lilsneezy]

Feb 21, 2016 21:07:00 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

My midwife (who knows I temp/chart) actually did mention that if I was interested she would fill out a lab slip for my DH to do an SA. I called her on cycle 4 just to ask if nursing my son once a day would make a difference in conceiving (she said no it shouldn't because I am ovulating regularly). We have decided not to pursue the SA at this time but I was surprised she offered it.

How does the conversation go from "does nursing affect TTC?" to offering to fill out a lab slip for a SA? I'm getting the vibe that you're not being honest about your intentions and that you're fishing for something else. Impatience is not infertility and that's all I'm going to say about that.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 21:48:15 GMT -5 icedtea said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:21:10 GMT -5 millimeter314 said:

icedtea

I had stage 2 removed about 3 years ago. My RE said it grows back about 10% per year, but I've been concerned it's grown back faster.

How long ago was your surgery? I'm just wondering if this is something I should push a little more.

My surgery was about 8 years ago. I was on various hormonal BC in efforts to control the growth till last July.

I talked to my doctor about it and we agreed to give me six months of trying and then assess pain/success/etc. It really affects my sex life so we wanted to see if it made things too difficult.

If you haven't had an ultrasound recently and are having a lot of pain, it couldn't hurt to check it out. I am a baby about ultrasounds (pain I can take, but don't tell me I can't pee).

Apologies for the novel

I agree. I'm the special snowflake that had a lap for suspected endo and ended up not having it, but honestly, i'm glad that they were able to rule it out.

It would be nice if they could find a cause at some point, some day they will. Maybe.

[juliayadda]

Feb 21, 2016 14:50:12 GMT -5 aprilz81 said:

For those of you who have experience with trigger shots, have you ever O'd on the same day as trigger?

I still temp while on medicated cycles (I realize that they aren't as reliable when on meds) and today I have dotted crosshairs on the same day I received my trigger (at 11:00 am). I know this will sort itself out eventually, but I would like to have a better idea of when to ask for the 7PDO progesterone check.

At trigger I had three follicles, 22mm, 20mm and 16mm. I've never ovulated without meds, and after my first two Clomid cycles I started using a trigger to force ovulation. This is my first cycle on Femara and my response was faster and better than my Clomid cycles, so it is possible I was ready to ovulate on my own when I received the trigger. I didn't use OPK so I don't know for sure and there was no blood draw at my last appointment.

Don't know if this has been answered but yes. Before you trigger you should do a blood test or OPK to catch chance early ovulation. Your RE should have done this/asked. But if they didn't and you have never ovulated on your own then I would not be concerned.

[icedtea]

@wallflwr926 I'm glad they were able to rule it out for you. I had an gyn tell me I probably had it, but it wasn't worth checking because nothing could be done. Then I went to a urogyn for other things and he ended up diagnosing/treating me. I really hope it's better understood someday.

Fun moment: waking up to find three incisions when they told me there would be two. Apparently one of my tubes was extra annoying. Sigh.

[Deleted]

Feb 21, 2016 22:01:12 GMT -5 icedtea said:

@wallflwr926 I'm glad they were able to rule it out for you. I had an gyn tell me I probably had it, but it wasn't worth checking because nothing could be done. Then I went to a urogyn for other things and he ended up diagnosing/treating me. I really hope it's better understood someday.

Fun moment: waking up to find three incisions when they told me there would be two. Apparently one of my tubes was extra annoying. Sigh.

Fun times.

My first lap for an ovarian cyst involved 3 incisions. My second lap that I had for funsies only had 2 incisions.

[Hooper88]

Feb 21, 2016 21:48:16 GMT -5 lilsneezy said:

Feb 21, 2016 21:07:00 GMT -5 Hooper88 said:

My midwife (who knows I temp/chart) actually did mention that if I was interested she would fill out a lab slip for my DH to do an SA. I called her on cycle 4 just to ask if nursing my son once a day would make a difference in conceiving (she said no it shouldn't because I am ovulating regularly). We have decided not to pursue the SA at this time but I was surprised she offered it.

How does the conversation go from "does nursing affect TTC?" to offering to fill out a lab slip for a SA? I'm getting the vibe that you're not being honest about your intentions and that you're fishing for something else. Impatience is not infertility and that's all I'm going to say about that.

I promise I'm not. I called her to ask if it would make a difference because we had perfect timing 4 months in a row. She said "did you have a problem with your first?" I said no. She then said "we could do an SA on your husband". We declined the SA at this time. I am in no way fishing for anything. The only reason I even brought it up was because she seems to have the same thought process as the author of the book.

ETA: I do not believe I have any sort of infertility problem what so ever and I apologize if it is coming across that way. 

[icedtea]

I'm impressed with your library!

[joy]

Feb 21, 2016 21:34:28 GMT -5 ceejay said:

Feb 21, 2016 20:43:57 GMT -5 daisy818 said:

I just looked at my copy and at the beginning of Chapter 15 it said to have an SA done on your partner after 4 cycles, which is kind of insane IMO.  

4 cycles is a little crazy.

However, I will say as part of a couple who has an MFI diagnosis, I really wish it was the norm for men to get SAs after maybe 6-8 months of TTC. MH has 0-1% morph so we basically had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant the entire first year we were trying. It's never seemed "fair" to me that women who don't ovulate or have PCOS are allowed to seek help after 6 months, but you could have an MFI diagnosis and not be allowed to seek help for a year.

It's hard to balance "borrowing trouble" with actually having trouble that could be discovered earlier...

You can seek help earlier if you have a knooooooown cause. If a man had any injury, illness, surgery, etc that could affect sperm then earlier intervention would also be recommended. If there are no risk factors for either person then waiting is recommended.

EDIT: I do think that wanting an SA before the one year mark without any prior medical indication of something being off is "borrowing trouble." (God, I hate that phrase).  There are plenty of women who have no findings during testing but don't get pregnant, either.  Their chances within that first year were also as low as yours.  But, there was no reason to suspect anything was amiss until enough time had gone.  This isn't a problem specific to men or women.

EDITEDIT: I'm annoyed that Taking Charge of Your Fertility is spouting this crap.  My RE would not even let me make an appointment unless one year had gone by.  Impatience is not infertility.  You don't want infertility.  You don't want to take pills, give yourself shots, have forty million ultrasounds, pay for all of this, and ensure that your husband jacks in a cup on time.  My god, I wish so hard that just sex had given us a baby.  But, alas.

[icedtea]

Feb 22, 2016 0:03:42 GMT -5 W said:

Feb 22, 2016 0:00:42 GMT -5 icedtea said:

I'm impressed with your library!

the county libraries span over several cities and they're usually pretty badass. They have two copies available. I'm going to go to the librarian and not do self checkout and find a young guy and embarrass him. I'm going to get a few vagina books just to mess with him.

I'm not competent on mobile, but imagine a "you are my hero" GIF.