STM+ - TTMA Potty Training

[nitecheese]

For those of you out there who already have older kiddos, I have a question. Am I ridiculous to start potty training DS now? He tells us when he pees and poops, but not beforehand. He'll come sit on his potty when I go to the bathroom, but will not yet use it on his own (since we haven't pushed him to do so).

Many people (family, friends, etc) are saying to wait until 3, or to wait because he'll just regress when his little sister arrives.

However, my budget is totally tempted by only having to buy diapers for one. 

WWYD?

[regal]

Do it. My oldest started to self train a month before I was due with his brother. I had planned on waiting but he was ready and I followed his lead.

[soultrane]

Follow his lead. If you think he's ready and he's expressing interest, give it a try when you have some time to dedicate to being home (and cleaning up accidents) but make it a no pressure thing.

We were planning to start last year over Christmas break since we would both be home for a week and a half uninterrupted, but he told us a few weeks before then that he wanted to pee on the potty, so we just went with it.

Everyone has their own theory about when it's best to start. My personal theory is to start when the kid expresses interest and seems ready, because they'll be much more likely to be successful.

Good luck!

[nymama917]

I don't have any tried and true advice but we're sort of in the same boat so I'll tell you our approach. My family is the opposite and saying she should be potty trained before she's 3 and sort of have a what are you waiting for attitude. I'll tell you what I'm waiting for...diapers are easier! I digress...

We are starting the process. We aren't doing any hard core naked 3 day plans yet though. She started to seem interested in the potty so we started putting her on it. We started with mornings and before bath. She was pretty consistent in the morning but bath was hit or miss. Then when she started telling us to "change her" we started putting her on more often. She's still not great at telling us but she's good at going if we keep putting her on it. She's pooped on the potty twice (once was a total fluke) and it scared her so we're struggling with that. It's the one we can easily predict because she always says she has to "hide" and runs and hides behind something. So far when we try to put her on the potty instead she won't go.

So basically...if he's acting interested try to catch him at a time when you know he has to go and see if he actually does it. Then go from there. I don't think it's too young and I think if you do it now, then he may not regress with baby. Every kid is different but even the regression if it happens I assume will be short lived.

[Flair Underwood]

It's not too early as long as you don't FORCE the issue. Keep his potty around, make it part of your morning and bedtime routines (sit on in to get his pants on for the day, before his bath, etc...).

If he is showing any interest at all (which it sounds like he is) - just bring the issue into your life gradually without making it a stressful thing for either of you.

Buy some of those cotton training underpants that are washable, see if those work. When you can, throw a long shirt on him and let him run around bare-bottomed. I personally think people (books, the internet, etc.etc...) make potty training out to be a MUCH bigger ordeal than it needs to be.

Disclaimer: ive only ever potty trained one kid ever, so my advice is very limited!

[soultrane]

Oh, and you didn't ask but it seems to be a common boy mom question in other groups I'm part of. We started him sitting down and taught him to aim that way. Once he mastered the concept of going in the potty, he transitioned to standing a little later and the messes have been minimal because he understands that he has to aim.

[regal]

Also, I didn't stop using diapers, I just out him on the potty regularly. He was often dry and would per as soon as we at him down. Within two months I felt comfortable doing underwear only. It was another four months before he would tell me he had to go, but would hold it forever, including overnight. This was the same experience with both my boys.

[babyzebra]

I'm going to be following this thread! DS just turned 2, and I don't think he's even close to being ready. I don't think I'm ready either. I guess this is my FFMC, but I think diapers are easy, and I'm kind of dreading potty training him.

[txmommy14]

DS is almost 2 and I'm dreading it. Diapers are easy and Target diapers are cheap. However, I think you should go for it if your son seems ready! I don't think my son is anywhere near being ready for that....nor am I, ha!!

On a similar note, I have switching him into a big boy bed hanging over my head. I don't want to do it right around when the baby comes, but don't know if I'm brave enough to try it before she arrives. However, I don't want him to be too old if I switch him later. I'm just dreading him being able to get out and walk around the house.

[Flair Underwood]

txmommy14, baby gate his bedroom door!! Also - can you put the bed in a corner so that if you have a bedrail on the one side there's really only the one way out?

I freaked about DD walking around the house when I put her in a big girl bed and then facepalmed myself when I remembered the existence of baby gates.

[babyzebra]

I feel like I have the type of kid who will be difficult to potty train because he doesn't want to stop playing to go to the potty. He wakes up by 5:30 every morning so that he can start playing with his toys. He's not hungry, doesn't care about having a full diaper, just wants to play. He also puts up a fight when I pick him up from daycare because I'm taking him away from the toys he's playing with. DH told me that when he was a kid, he would wait until the very last minute to go inside and use the bathroom because he didn't want to stop playing. He is his father's child!

[sandandsea]

I would start introducing him to it now, but don't expect him to be completely PT until closer to 2.5 or 3. DS was introduced around 20 months when he moved into the 2 year old room at DC and "got it" just before 2 3/4. They have to be PT to move into the 3 year old room. The teachers have the class line up and all try to use the potty probably 4 times a day in the 2yo room so they get exposeure. We got a potty seat for our toilet at home and offered a gummy bunny if he used the potty, but it was all on his terms. We were home an extra friday afternoon one weekend, so we went to underwear that weekend. He had one accident Sunday and never looked back.

The hardest part for him at school was stopping what he was doing to go potty. Which is a lot harder than going on command when given the opportunity.

ETA:  He switched to pull ups in the 2yo room too so he quickly learned to take them off and on.  And he had dry pulls ups for probably 2 months at school before he was PT and only occasional accidents in the pull ups.  We treated them like underwear so he knew he had to try to keep them dry.

ETA (again):  They didn't have potties available until he was in the 2yo room at DC.  So, we realized it would be pointless to PT until he had availability to it 24/7.  And he was very motivated by the older kids usign the potty and getting to wear underwear like the big kids.

[sandandsea]

Feb 22, 2016 9:58:41 GMT -5 txmommy14 said:

DS is almost 2 and I'm dreading it. Diapers are easy and Target diapers are cheap. However, I think you should go for it if your son seems ready! I don't think my son is anywhere near being ready for that....nor am I, ha!!

On a similar note, I have switching him into a big boy bed hanging over my head. I don't want to do it right around when the baby comes, but don't know if I'm brave enough to try it before she arrives. However, I don't want him to be too old if I switch him later. I'm just dreading him being able to get out and walk around the house.

The bed thing was way way way way harder for us than the pt!  He jumped out of his crib right at 2 and climbed the baby gate in his door.  He's only interested in coming into our room in the MOTN, so my fear of him roaming the house subsided.  

[bighair12]

DD is 3.5 and still wears a pull up at nap and diaper at night. Our problem is that she doesn't like to come out of her room. So, when she wakes up we don't know it. She pees in the diaper or pull up. At daycare she doesn't wear a pull up at nap.

The process is frustrating but follow the kids lead. It took us a few months. We started at 2.5 but I left for a month and that didn't work out. She totally reverted. But, this last summer she was getting better about using the potty. Girls are different beasts than boys.

[txmommy14]

Feb 22, 2016 10:18:01 GMT -5 @cheeze said:

txmommy14, I would do the transition now. That way you should have all the kinks out by the time baby comes.

We moved DS to his new room last month, complete with big boy bed, with bed rail. The transition to new room and bed has been amazing. Granted, he was in his crib with one side removed before the move. He escaped twice and we reinforced the fact that he had to stay in bed and call for us and we would come right away. I realize this may not work with all kids, as DS never abused the 'call and they will come' thing, but it's worth a shot. otherwise you can baby gate him in.

True! How old is your son?

[txmommy14]

@cheeze, NVM I just saw that you said he was 2.5 I'm leaning towards waiting until then ( a few months after baby is here). My son is 22 (almost 23) months, but we'll see. We may try it soon, I just sort of have a "why ruin a good thing" attitude since he does so great in the crib and sleeps well.

[txmommy14]

nitecheese Yes, he will be in a new room and has been playing in it! He has new transportation sheets and everything and loves the room. I need to get some sort of step stool because his new twin bed is pretty tall. I'm also just avoiding it because he sleeps 12 hours at night and takes a 3 hour nap right now, so it's hard for me to see the point, but I know he needs to at some point!

[soultrane]

txmommy14, if the crib is still working, I'm with you and wouldn't ruin a good thing. I would be cautious about timing it so that he doesn't have too many big changes around when the baby arrives, but as long as he's comfy let him chill in his crib for a while longer.

We lucked out and DS still doesn't get out of bed without asking us, which shocked me. Every morning and after every nap "Mommy, is it wake up time yet?" It's adorable, but not always at 7am.

[txmommy14]

soultrane, that's amazing! How old was he when you switched him? I did buy one of those "Ready to Wake" alarm clocks that glows green when it's time to wake up, but I'm not sure if he would understand that yet.

[soultrane]

txmommy14, I think it was Memorial Day weekend last year so about a month shy of his 3rd birthday. I was nervous about it but it was a really easy transition. No tips there though, because we really did just luck out!

[shoogars]

I potty trained both girls at around 21 months. I did the whole naked from the waste down, pump them full of liquids so they have lots of chances to learn. DD2 was way easier, by day 3 she was telling me when she had to go and didn't have any accidents. Day 1 she didn't have any successes by my standards, but she was sure proud of the huge log she laid in the middle of the kitchen.

Here is the key: it's all YOU. It's a huge commitment and if you aren't ready to do it, then don't. For DD1 I have to carry a potty seat with me every time we went somewhere as she was afraid to sit on an actual potty. DD2 didn't care.

Before PTing DD1 I did a lot of PT research. Disposable diapers have really delayed The average age of PTing. The research I read said that before disposables it was unusual for a child to not be potty trained by 18 months.

I also recommend keeping a portable potty in the car for all those times when you are in the car or at the park and no bathroom is available. Line it with plastic bags and tp so you can just throw the potty away.

This is what we have:

[soultrane]

Feb 22, 2016 15:38:18 GMT -5 shoogars said:

*snip*

 Day 1 she didn't have any successes by my standards, but she was sure proud of the huge log she laid in the middle of the kitchen.

OMG, I'm dying at this! And I totally agree with you that the parents' attitudes toward the whole process will drive how easy or difficult it will be.

Something else to consider if your kids are in daycare is making sure that you and the provider(s) are staying consistent with praise/encouragement/discouragement, etc. We made sure to talk to his DCP to let her know how we approached the whole thing so that he was hearing the same message both at home and when he was with her.

[Flair Underwood]

Feb 22, 2016 15:50:43 GMT -5 soultrane said:

Feb 22, 2016 15:38:18 GMT -5 shoogars said:

*snip*

 Day 1 she didn't have any successes by my standards, but she was sure proud of the huge log she laid in the middle of the kitchen.

OMG, I'm dying at this! And I totally agree with you that the parents' attitudes toward the whole process will drive how easy or difficult it will be.

Something else to consider if your kids are in daycare is making sure that you and the provider(s) are staying consistent with praise/encouragement/discouragement, etc. We made sure to talk to his DCP to let her know how we approached the whole thing so that he was hearing the same message both at home and when he was with her.

 Yes, what soultrane said!!!  Although DD showed some early signs, we had to wait until she was in the 2-year-old room where they had their own potty. Also, i think daycare makes potty training easier.  If they see the older kids doing it, and the teachers WANT them to be, they'll train quicker.  It's like when you get a second puppy and already have an older dog.  

[amiet79]

We are potty training DD right now. She'll be 3 in June. We tried to potty train her in December and she just wasn't ready yet. She pretty much goes on the toilet all the time now, but we still have some accidents. She still wears a diaper at night. She's usually dry in the morning, but the few times that we tried to just keep her in underwear, she peed the bed.

DS potty trained when he was closer to 3 and he was a bit more difficult. He also has a pragmatic language disorder, so communication was hard, but a month after he was 3, he was fully night and day trained.

If your son is showing interest, I would totally give it a shot. Like others said, try not to stress about it too much and if he isn't totally ready, just try again in like 3-4 weeks.
Paper towels are a must. We did the bare bottom approach with both kids and it worked, but it definitely made a mess.

[regal]

I fully admit I am an oddball on most parenting issues but here's my two cents.

I generally make big changes as early as possible, before they really understand what's happening. We started putting my kids on the potty between 8-10 months, before they realized what they were doing. Potty training came naturally since they started having dry diapers and we would follow through with our normal routine of sitting on the potty.

Same thing with a bed, we transitioned around 14mo to a mattress on the floor. Granted I nursed them to sleep, but it was a really smooth transition for us.

[nitecheese]

Thank you for all the input ladies! DS is not in DC, he's home with my DH or my FIL. I guess my next step is to talk to both of them and see how ready they are, since a lot of the work would fall on them. I really appreciate all the tips and perspectives!

[shan]

DD potty trained herself. She told me she didn't want diapers and that was that. It was so incredibly easy, I'm a huge advocate of waiting until they are ready. I'm not interested in turning their bathroom business into a power struggle.

As for the crib, she's 3y3m and I have no plans to change it anytime soon. My mom is baffled that we bought another crib for the baby. But she's happy, not climbing out, and sleeping fine so I'm not messing with it. I think I have PTSD from her first year of never sleeping - so I don't eff with sleep. Maybe by kinder she will be out of a crib??

[microworm]

Feb 22, 2016 9:51:40 GMT -5 babyzebra said:

I'm going to be following this thread! DS just turned 2, and I don't think he's even close to being ready. I don't think I'm ready either. I guess this is my FFMC, but I think diapers are easy, and I'm kind of dreading potty training him.

This is me, except DS will be 2 in May. I don't think he is ready. He is a little behind on communicating his needs so I think that needs to come first. He does point to his butt and/or tries to go upstairs (where his changing table is) when he poops.

[packerfan4life]

No personal experience, but I'd say if he's showing signs of being ready go ahead and try if you have the time to commit. But don't be surprised if there is some regression when the new baby arrives.

DD will only be 21 mo in June and has absolutely no interest. We actually CD with prefolds and she'd still much rather sit in a pee or poopy diaper than get changed. After she's obviously pooped we'll ask did you poop? And her answer is always no. Stinker.

As for the bed transition, we went to mattress on the floor at 14 months and the transition went super smoothly. She doesn't get out of her bed unless we're in the room. We keep her bedroom door closed so even if she did she can't get out of her room. She still doesn't consistently sttn but it's no worse than it was before. Also we took pretty much everything out of her room. It just has her mattress, the crib, laundry, and an abc mat on the floor (no toys/dresser/anything else)