Ettiquette question

[fignewt]

My friend just sent out an email asking people to make us dinners for the next three weeks. Do I need to write thank you notes for each meal, or just thank them in person when they drop it off?  I am pretty sure I have done thank you notes in the past, but I know when I do something like that for someone who just had a baby, I prefer they do not write one - I feel like it kind of defeats the purpose of taking something off their plate...

Thoughts?

[Deleted]

I'm not sure of the true proper etiquette, but I'd write a thank you card for each.

[mom2boxers]

My only experience is when someone brought a meal but they also brought a present for the baby. So in my note I said thank you for both.

It really only takes a couple of minutes to write a quick note. I would say thank you, how much you appreciated it, and keep it short and simple.

[blackbird]

I would be inclined to write a thank you note.

[adorebel]

Ok I'm a HUGE fan of thank-you notes, but in this case I would say it's actually kind of overkill, since the whole point of bringing someone with a new baby a meal (as you say) is to make life easier for them. Writing a note for each meal adds a task for the new mom that seems unnecessary in my mind, and I agree - if I got a note from a new mom, I would feel bad that she had spent the time to write it! (Conversely, I would expect a note for a baby shower gift, so...)

In the past, I have received a phone call, email, or text regarding the meal I've brought and I'm inclined to do the same, but no more, for people who bring us meals. Many of them will have received a note from me very recently for a gift they brought to the baby shower anyway.

[peachesncream]

I am going to be a special snowflake. If after you've received the meal you have some down time where baby is napping, you feel well-rested, and you need something to do, go ahead and write a note. If your life is a living sleep-deprived hell and you're thankful you remembered to put on pants before answering the door to receive said meal, I think they're going to understand if they don't get a note.

[rosetyler72]

I've made meals for friends that just had babies and always received a thank you note but I don't know what the actual etiquette is. I'm a big fan of thank you notes so I would be inclined to write them when you get around to it. I would send a text if nothing else.

[rachelilly23]

Feb 23, 2016 12:57:28 GMT -5 rosetyler72 said:

I've made meals for friends that just had babies and always received a thank you note but I don't know what the actual etiquette is. I'm a big fan of thank you notes so I would be inclined to write them when you get around to it. I would send a text if nothing else.

I would text or fb message if I could, honestly. Better than nothing but super quick.

[paloslee]

I think a quick text saying thank you would be ok. Like others said, if you are too tired and just not feeling 100%, I am sure they will understand.

[daydreamsam]

Due to the fact that the whole point is to make your life easier, I think a call, text or email, thank you is sufficient. Unless they bring a gift too, then I would write a note for the gift and include a thank you in that note for the meal.

The only exception: If you have to return a pan/dish to them. Then, a short, quick note with the pan seems appropriate.

[roseinbloom]

Not sure what I would expect from others. But if I received it myself, I would probably send a quick digital acknowledgment of thanks and then send a written thank you note at a later date.

[awkwardturtle]

I think a text is completely sufficient in this case. I agree with PP that if a gift came with the food or if it were for your shower, a thank you note would be necessary. I don't think people expect a handwritten thank you note for bringing food.

[katespade]

I would probably text or email unless they also brought a gift for baby along with them. Then I would send a formal note.

[katieinthecity]

I wrote a thank you note for everything we got when L was born. I didn't rush to get them out but sent them within the first two months-ish.

[jewel441]

This gives me yet another reason the after birth gifts is a harder/weirder tradition. I will get like 98% of the gifts after baby and will be doing thank you notes then. I think ppl are understanding of it taking long. I beast moded our wedding ones, somehow I don't think that will be the case here

[isolemnlyswear]

We will be on a meal train (through moms group at Church) and some of the people who will bring us meals I won't really know. So it'll be hard to do thank you notes. I'll probably do a massive email at the end thanking everyone.

[mlmiu]

I appreciate good decorum but desperately wish we could DO AWAY with thank you cards as a culture. In fact, I have thrown several baby showers for friends and one of the first things we establish is NO thank you cards. It was hard enough to to cards when you got married and you weren't about to birth and raise a tiny helpless human. What sort of crazy torture is it to add "handwite and mail a zillion cards to your extended family" to that? I say, NO CARDS.

[katespade]

Also, I will say that I am someone who really appreciates a nice thank you card (looking at you, friends who had a wedding my H was in back in 2012 who never thanked us for the gift). If I was bringing food to a new mom, I would not at all expect a thank you card. Maybe a text to let me know if they liked it or not (because I'm always paranoid people wont like my food), but not an actual thank you card.

[adorebel]

Feb 24, 2016 10:12:20 GMT -5 katespade said:

Also, I will say that I am someone who really appreciates a nice thank you card (looking at you, friends who had a wedding my H was in back in 2012 who never thanked us for the gift). If I was bringing food to a new mom, I would not at all expect a thank you card. Maybe a text to let me know if they liked it or not (because I'm always paranoid people wont like my food), but not an actual thank you card.

High five, labor buddy. Same page.