Really struggling... (update 3/19)
Feb 27, 2016 12:41:52 GMT -5
Post by jess9802 on Feb 27, 2016 12:41:52 GMT -5
When I first got pregnant I expected that I would be induced around 39w, given my history of chronic hypertension and being over 35. So it's a little weird to hit this weekend and think about that, knowing what has happened in the last week.
On Tuesday, my parents were in a car accident. They were driving on the highway when the hood latch on their pickup failed. The hood flew up and hit the windshield. In the panic of trying to get the vehicle safely off the road, my dad lost control and hit the guardrail, which caused the truck to flip. Passersby came to their aid and helped get them out of the truck. My dad was uninjured, but my mom said she hit her head. She didn't have any visible wound to her head, and she was talking and feeling okay afterward, but decided to go to the ER as a precaution.
I was with them at the ER when the doc came back and told her she had a small subdural hematoma. I didn't think too much of it, but they told her she was going to be admitted to the ICU as a precaution and they would monitor the hematoma with a repeat CT scan around midnight. DH and I left the hospital around 8 or 9.
Shortly before midnight I got a message from my dad that my mom's neurological condition had deteriorated after she was moved to the ICU, and so they ordered a CT scan a bit earlier. It showed significant growth in the size of the hematoma, and they had taken her back for immediate surgery to evacuate the hematoma. I returned to the hospital around 1 AM. We met with her neurosurgeon around 3 AM and he was pleased with the surgery and hopeful that she would make a full recovery since she had the surgery so quickly. It was very clear that if she had declined the transport she would have died overnight.
In the days since the surgery she has developed swelling in her brain, which has made her nonverbal, disoriented, and very drowsy. At times she seems to recognize us, and at other times not at all. We don't know how much of the function she had in the first post-op day (she was talking and passing the neuro checks, though she had weakness on her right side) will return when the swelling abates. Her neurosurgeon is hopeful; the trauma docs tell us it could be weeks, months, or years like this.
She does seem to recognize me (Thursday night when I left I told her I loved her and she said "I love you too," and yesterday she reached out a couple of times to stroke my hair and cheek). She seems to perk up when I mention DS or something about the baby. This is without a doubt one of the scariest, most stressful things I've gone through. I am so sad and angry that this has happened to her, and scared for her future. She has watched DS since he was 8 weeks old, and he misses her and doesn't understand what's happened. I am so worried we will lose her (subdural hematomas are very lethal) or that she will not really recover, and he will never really remember the grandmother who doted on him and loved him so much. All of my excitedment over the new baby has evaporated. I was so looking forward to her meeting him, and now I'm just praying she'll remember the meeting and be aware of it when it happens. I don't want to keep this kid in forever, but I honestly can't imagine laboring and trying to recover from childbirth and not being able to be with my mom.
I'm just very sad right now, and despite having some wonderful support feel very much alone.
On Tuesday, my parents were in a car accident. They were driving on the highway when the hood latch on their pickup failed. The hood flew up and hit the windshield. In the panic of trying to get the vehicle safely off the road, my dad lost control and hit the guardrail, which caused the truck to flip. Passersby came to their aid and helped get them out of the truck. My dad was uninjured, but my mom said she hit her head. She didn't have any visible wound to her head, and she was talking and feeling okay afterward, but decided to go to the ER as a precaution.
I was with them at the ER when the doc came back and told her she had a small subdural hematoma. I didn't think too much of it, but they told her she was going to be admitted to the ICU as a precaution and they would monitor the hematoma with a repeat CT scan around midnight. DH and I left the hospital around 8 or 9.
Shortly before midnight I got a message from my dad that my mom's neurological condition had deteriorated after she was moved to the ICU, and so they ordered a CT scan a bit earlier. It showed significant growth in the size of the hematoma, and they had taken her back for immediate surgery to evacuate the hematoma. I returned to the hospital around 1 AM. We met with her neurosurgeon around 3 AM and he was pleased with the surgery and hopeful that she would make a full recovery since she had the surgery so quickly. It was very clear that if she had declined the transport she would have died overnight.
In the days since the surgery she has developed swelling in her brain, which has made her nonverbal, disoriented, and very drowsy. At times she seems to recognize us, and at other times not at all. We don't know how much of the function she had in the first post-op day (she was talking and passing the neuro checks, though she had weakness on her right side) will return when the swelling abates. Her neurosurgeon is hopeful; the trauma docs tell us it could be weeks, months, or years like this.
She does seem to recognize me (Thursday night when I left I told her I loved her and she said "I love you too," and yesterday she reached out a couple of times to stroke my hair and cheek). She seems to perk up when I mention DS or something about the baby. This is without a doubt one of the scariest, most stressful things I've gone through. I am so sad and angry that this has happened to her, and scared for her future. She has watched DS since he was 8 weeks old, and he misses her and doesn't understand what's happened. I am so worried we will lose her (subdural hematomas are very lethal) or that she will not really recover, and he will never really remember the grandmother who doted on him and loved him so much. All of my excitedment over the new baby has evaporated. I was so looking forward to her meeting him, and now I'm just praying she'll remember the meeting and be aware of it when it happens. I don't want to keep this kid in forever, but I honestly can't imagine laboring and trying to recover from childbirth and not being able to be with my mom.
I'm just very sad right now, and despite having some wonderful support feel very much alone.
