Update - loss mentioned

[hangryhedgehog]

I called the advice nurse yesterday and explained the events of the weekend and she wanted me to come in to see my OB same day. My sweet friend who recently had a loss offered to come with me and watch DS while I was in there.

She explained that with my bleeding it was likely that I was having a MC but they would do an ultrasound and blood test to check. She did an ultrasound and confirmed it was empty. Then she called a couple hours later and the blood test was basically negative.

So none of that was news to me and I'm glad I went, but ugh. Hearing her talk about it in "uncertain terms" was so painful for me. There was the tiniest part of me as soon as I made the appointment that was like.. "Oh maybe I jumped the gun...maybe there's an explanation..." even though I was very sure what was happening.

What a rollercoaster of a week. It still feels very raw that there were a couple of times yesterday that I forgot for a split second that I wasn't pregnant anymore.

My OB told me my period should arrive in 4 to 6 weeks and that we should wait one cycle before trying again. That puts our best case scenario as pregnant with a December due date. Would you try for a December baby? I've always kind of thought Decembers birthdays are the worst. (For the kids that have them) But I also don't want to wait.

(Ps. Sorry if I'm being a PW but only a couple people IRL even know what's been going on with me this week.)

[sagen]

I am so sorry (((hugs))))

[ericalee27]

Big hugs!

[colinsfebmommy]

Oh I am so very sorry *HUGS*

[fignewt]

So sorry for your loss
((hugs))

[ally2011]

I say take a healthy baby whenever you can get one Good excuse to sit home and enjoy the holidays without rushing around Huge hugs to you mama, hang in there!

[puck1182]

Ugh, I'm so sorry. :-( Sending you lots of hugs!

And I have to agree with ally, take a healthy baby whenever you can get one, don't worry too much about the birthday thing. I'm almost a December baby (Nov 30, due date was 12/5) and I never minded having my birthday around the holidays!

[expatmama]

So sorry for your loss. Don't worry about being a PW, having a place to talk about these things is important...

[pinesnow]

I'm so sorry, friend.

[seadragon2013]

Hugs. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you.

As far as a D15 baby, I'd go for it as soon as you doc says you can, as long as you feel ready.

[wolfpack]

Sorry for your loss.

And on the December birthday thing we have 11 (4 on Christmas eve alone). I'm my family. Every one seems to do just fine. But do whatever feels right to you

[sjames2015]

I am sorry for your loss. Talking helps heal. Talk all you want and need. We are here for you.

[mishka29]

I'm sorry for your loss!

I'm a bit of a planner so I thought it would be better to have babies born at the beginning of the year - oldest in the class, etc. however, depending on when kids start school where you are, you could end up paying a lot more money for months of daycare.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry! Miscarriages are a ball of emotions, confusion and uncertainty. Big hugs to you. And start trying again whenever you want, December birthday be damned.

[dc2london]

I really am so sorry for your loss. Big, big hugs.
The TTCAL community was so helpful for me. I encourage you to check it out when you are ready, even if you are waiting a cycle to try.

[fishes]

Hugs! I'm sorry!

I'm a December baby (12/28) it's not too bad, considering it's all I've known I've never had to go to school on my birthday, and possibly got more presents because my birthday was close enough to Christmas that my parents didn't want me to feel like I was missing out. Now that parents, ILs and other random relatives tend to just send money I end up feeling super rich by the end of December.

[aydee]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Years of loss and infertility taught me that sometimes we can't plan having kids as well as we'd like. There are pros and cons to having a baby at any time of the year. If you're ready to try again soon, I say go for it.

[cinnasugar]

Sorry for your loss. Has to be tough to go to the doctor to rehash everything.

[kbates85]

I'm so very sorry for your lose. Feel free to post away if you need to! This board is here for you!

Nothing wrong with a December bday! My sister, my husband and I are all December babies. Just makes a special time of year even more special!

[crimsonandclover]

I'm so sorry. With mine I had a blighted ovum and even though I was sure of my O dates, my OB kept saying, "Well, maybe it's just too early" and gave me hope. When there was still nothing but a sac at 7w he still said that and even though I knew it was over, having that little thread of hope made it difficult to accept. The actual m/c started at 7w4d.

As for a December baby, we're slowly headed that way, too (EDD this cycle would be end of October). While I would also prefer not to have a holiday baby, and our first child we tried to time not to be at the holidays, I've realized that so many factors are out of our hands that it's not worth making the effort of trying to plan the "when". I had an end of Nov EDD with my 2nd BFP and miscarried - that can happen with any pregnancy, obviously. Our first was born 6 weeks early - which just taught me that even if we "skip" a month that would end in a December EDD, we might still end up with a December preemie, and I'm not going to skip 3-4 months of TTC just to make sure nnot even a preemie would come on the holidays.

Anyway, the short version is that no, I wouldn't skip December just because of the holidays. I know a lot of people with b-days around Christmas and I think as long as parents make a conscious effort to celebrate separating, it's fine.

[singingsea]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[poppy523]

I'm so sorry for your loss hugs, mama.

I would try whenever you are ready, I see no problem with a December baby, not to mention the tax deduction that comes with them

[seadragon2013]

Another bonus of a December baby is that you would likely only pay one deductible for all pregnancy related medical stuff! (This coming from the girl who had to pay THREE deductibles for my last pregnancy because my insurance was on a semester system )

[tulips114]

I'm so sorry for your loss. ((Hugs))

I wouldn't skip trying just because the bday is December. Maybe it's just meant to be.

[draeray]

I am so sorry to hear this. December babies are just as special as any other month! Go for it.

[summer]

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how tough the last few days have been for you.

Having just had a December baby, I'll give you my honest take. It wasn't quite the crisis I had imagined, and it is super-encouraging to see all of these December ladies say that they don't mind their holiday birthdays. But, given the chance to do it again...I personally will try to work around it. The holidays were hectic anyways, and adding a newborn to that time wasn't easy. Not that it is ever easy. :-) Although, I will say that having DH off of work for the holidays (in addition to paternity leave) was a huge help, especially with taking care of my DS.

All of that said, I agree that a healthy baby at any time is a blessing. If it feels right to you to try again right away, then you absolutely should. If you feel like waiting a cycle, then do it. No wrong answer there.