Post by Cherhorowitz on Feb 29, 2016 21:06:23 GMT -5
It's okay, guys. I would love to say it's my first family murderer. Or second. But, it's not. Second cousins though. Better that than ILs that you see on the regular.
I absolutely love my IL's- all of them. I'd rather be with them than my own side of the family any day. Geez that's a can of worms I'm not even going to get into.
My MIL annoys the crap out of me, but she's not as bad as she used to be... Or I've just become numb to her nonsense. Her mother on the other hand. She likes to guilt us into visiting, so she can tell me how much better she was at parenting MIL and H's aunts than I am at parenting S. She's met M once. She also has a habit of going on about how much she exercises "even though I'm 80+ years old". Implying that I'm fat and lazy pretty much every time we see them is fun. Also, she wrote us a long letter when we told her we were expecting S, going on about how she learned when she got married what happens when a man and woman sleep together.
And on my side, my dad's parents are like @littlestjerry 's ILs, in that they completely ignore the existence of my sister and I, and my kids. Not so much as a phone call in almost 20 years. My mom loves them, and tries to keep us in touch, she calls them once in awhile. On the other hand, my dad is super pissed about how they treat us, and barely speaks to them. And they dote on my cousins and their kids. They've practically raised my youngest cousin, and they're always giving the other two money and presents, and taking the kids for sleepovers all the time. They've never sent a card or anything for S for his birthday or Christmas. They suck
My MIL annoys the crap out of me, but she's not as bad as she used to be... Or I've just become numb to her nonsense. Her mother on the other hand. She likes to guilt us into visiting, so she can tell me how much better she was at parenting MIL and H's aunts than I am at parenting S. She's met M once. She also has a habit of going on about how much she exercises "even though I'm 80+ years old". Implying that I'm fat and lazy pretty much every time we see them is fun. Also, she wrote us a long letter when we told her we were expecting S, going on about how she learned when she got married what happens when a man and woman sleep together.
And on my side, my dad's parents are like @littlestjerry 's ILs, in that they completely ignore the existence of my sister and I, and my kids. Not so much as a phone call in almost 20 years. My mom loves them, and tries to keep us in touch, she calls them once in awhile. On the other hand, my dad is super pissed about how they treat us, and barely speaks to them. And they dote on my cousins and their kids. They've practically raised my youngest cousin, and they're always giving the other two money and presents, and taking the kids for sleepovers all the time. They've never sent a card or anything for S for his birthday or Christmas. They suck
Huh? Is she implying that she didn't know what sex was until she got married? That was probably a really awkward letter to receive from GMIL lol
My MIL annoys the crap out of me, but she's not as bad as she used to be... Or I've just become numb to her nonsense. Her mother on the other hand. She likes to guilt us into visiting, so she can tell me how much better she was at parenting MIL and H's aunts than I am at parenting S. She's met M once. She also has a habit of going on about how much she exercises "even though I'm 80+ years old". Implying that I'm fat and lazy pretty much every time we see them is fun. Also, she wrote us a long letter when we told her we were expecting S, going on about how she learned when she got married what happens when a man and woman sleep together.
And on my side, my dad's parents are like @littlestjerry 's ILs, in that they completely ignore the existence of my sister and I, and my kids. Not so much as a phone call in almost 20 years. My mom loves them, and tries to keep us in touch, she calls them once in awhile. On the other hand, my dad is super pissed about how they treat us, and barely speaks to them. And they dote on my cousins and their kids. They've practically raised my youngest cousin, and they're always giving the other two money and presents, and taking the kids for sleepovers all the time. They've never sent a card or anything for S for his birthday or Christmas. They suck
Huh? Is she implying that she didn't know what sex was until she got married? That was probably a really awkward letter to receive from GMIL lol
I think that's exactly what she was implying, while simultaneously being all uppity about the fact that we didn't wait for marriage. Buuut... She grew up on a farm. She knew where babies came from. It was super awkward. DNW to know about H's grandma's sex life.
My FIL lives with us. He had a heart attack 10 years ago and is depressed and uses both of those things as excuses for not being able to work. He doesn't make enough to live on his own, so he lives with us. He also doesn't drive. So I have to drive him to all of his appointments (I SAH). He refuses to take the bus. He doesn't vacuum the basement (where he lives) and there are clumps of dog hair down there. My kids aren't allowed down there. He says he "can't" vacuum. His dog has bit my kid, and he laughed about it. He only showers once a week.
He comes upstairs and sits in my living room while I watch TV and comments on everything (we're talking 2-3 hours he will sit sometimes and bug me). He taught my two year old "shut up" and laughed when she told me that last week. He puked in MY main floor bathroom and left it for me to clean up "because he couldn't find anything to clean it up with". We share the kitchen with him, and he leaves dishes on the counter. Never loads or unloads the dishes. He laughs and points and says "ha ha ha ha" at my daughter when she is in time out. He yelled at me when I accidentally got him frozen yogurt, not ice cream at the store once. He pulled my two week old by the ankles, toward him, when she was lying on the ottoman.
MIL... DD1 was born on Canadian Thanksgiving at 4 am, and she cried to DH when he said he wouldn't be joining the rest of the family for dinner that evening. He would be at the hospital with me. She cried and said that "she wasn't important to him anymore and that he didn't love her".
She invited a guy she had never met, but was FB chatting with, to our house one night while she was babysitting our (then) two month old.
She called me by my husbands ex wife's name for the first year of our relationship.
trackgirl .... what does your H say about your FIL's behavior??
He talks with him sometimes and tries to explain how rude/wrong/ridiculous it is, but honestly, it goes in one ear and out the other. FIL is just a big bully, and believes he does no wrong.
Ooh I can play! I'll start out by adding that MIL almost for sure has mental health issues, but since she refuses to seek treatment so I'm over it.
MIL has met DD once in 21 months. They live 20 minutes away. They never once called me when I was in the hospital for a month pregnant with their grandchild. She didn't show up to DD's bday party.
On my birthday, a month before MIL's bday, she posted on facebook that she was deactivating her internet at 9pm that day and wanted everyone to wish her a happy birthday. And then she decided to keep her internet after all.
She told everyone and posted on facebook that she was diagnosed with cancer b/c she had a suspicious nodule on her thyroid that the doctor said could be cancerous. When she found out it wasn't, she never mentioned it again.
She told us that she was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. We later found out that a doctor said she had some symptoms of it. She went home, googled it, and decided she for sure had it so there was no reason to go back to the doctor for testing.
She told people she might be having a heart attack at my wedding and then said she was ok once someone gave her aspirin. She had a fake panic attack in the middle of the ceremony.
Post by ghostmonkey on Feb 29, 2016 22:00:34 GMT -5
MIL thinks Trump is the best candidate we have had in ages, and that if he doesn't get in, Cruz is just as good and will fix all the problems in this country.
And because she's an old, she will show up to vote.
MIL is super passive aggressive. She also has zero respect for other people's schedules. The worst example so far was when we were visiting over Thanksgiving. On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we spent the afternoon with my nieces, and we were then supposed to meet the ILs to go bowling. Because of timing, and MIL didn't want to bowl on a full stomach, we had to eat dinner before meeting them because I'm hypoglycemic and can't just decide to eat dinner at 8pm randomly. So while we were eating dinner with my nieces and their dad, MIL calls and wants us to come over now and eat dinner with them because the bowling alley is too crowded. DH told her we were in the middle of eating with the nieces, and her response was we loved them more than her. No, it's just that we had a PLAN with them, and we are in the middle of it!
It's also been implied repeatedly that if I wasn't in the picture, DH never would have taken a job transfer to another state. Cuz the fact that he's basically doing his dream job now has zero bearing.
She also can't be bothered to remember basic things about my religion. Like, in a single conversation after I nicely correct her, she will continue to call my synagogue a church. And don't get me started on the debacles we've had in the past over me refusing to eat ham or rolls at Easter because I'm keeping kosher for Passover. I'm so glad that moving away means we don't need to deal with Easter!
FIL is quirky (DH and I are fairly certain he could be diagnosed on the spectrum if he was interested in being diagnosed) but he's a great guy. He's just not allowed to ever help us move again, since he's broken things each time he's helped. He moves stuff with the policy of "if some force isn't enough, use more" even when that thing is a plastic fan.
Post by yummeecookee on Feb 29, 2016 22:09:38 GMT -5
I came in here all ready to scandalize everyone w how my ILs threw adult temper tantrums the day my son was born, and gave MH a huge guilt trip about it. Buuuut after reading some of your stories, mine seems petty. I'm sorry for some of these truly fucked up families.
Post by bluerainfire on Feb 29, 2016 22:31:57 GMT -5
I won't just look from the shadows-
Let's just say I am glad the FIL is dead- and I am not cruel person. I met him once in my life- he's just a very bad man.
My mother in law is not terrible- but she can drive me nuts.
She has asked my 9 year old several times if mommy and daddy are getting a divorced- wtf?
Several times I have came in her house, she hasn't said hello to me.
12 years of being with DH- she still doesn't realize I am a Vegetarian.
She pulls this passive aggressive shit every few months- about how dh doesn't see her, or she doesn't see the kids- Hello you live 10 mins from us, you can come over anytime.
She said BET (the channel) was racist against white people.
Apparently a 12 week maternity leave is extravagant and she feels bad for the people that will have to cover for me. But her answer to that is obviously I should be a SAHM.
Post by tincupchalice on Feb 29, 2016 22:40:06 GMT -5
When I was pregnant, my inlaws told my husband that people who do XYZ should have their children taken away. We do XYZ. Then MIL called H a "damaged veteran." After years of emotional abuse, that was just the last straw.
Somehow, they were very confused when he severed ties with them.
My GMIL told me she hoped I got deployed and died, just a few days after ruining my wedding.
Wow that is harsh. I'm so sorry. SIL said she hoped DH got deployed and died during an argument she started over nothing. I'm glad I wasn't there because I probably would have decked her in the mouth.
My MIL currently lives with us so she annoys me at times. But it's my mom who is actually the worst.
She's very self centered and for some reason likes to pick away at my self confidence. If I stick up for myself, she plays the victim.
A few years ago I lost some weight by working with a personal trainer. I was talking about my accomplishment and she said "OH but you lost so much more weight by walking or swimming years ago. You should really do that and lose more weight."
This past October she came up to visit for a few days. I was about 5 months pregnant. She tried to rub my belly without asking. So I told her I wasn't comfortable with people touching me without asking. She then says that shes my mother so should be able to touch me whenever she wanted. I told her it was my body and my rules. So layer she pulled me aside and lectured me about considering her feelings, and that she drove all this way to visit.
Post by fancynewbeesly on Mar 1, 2016 5:58:49 GMT -5
Some of those stories are just mouth dropping.
We lucked out with my MIL. For the most part, she is wonderful. She went through many tough times and tends to be overly anxious about Reese with everything, especially food. She panics when Reese decides not to eat. And then of course my pain in the ass four year old will purposely not eat because MIL is forcing her too. But I get it-this past winter she was only about 31.5 pounds.
My MIL also gets paranoid about her neighbors, they are apparently hacking into her phone, computer, heat, lights.....and the town knows but they are buying them off, so the whole town is corrupt. She has a whole conspiracy theory about them and Governor Christie. As long as you don't bring up the neighbors---it is a forbidden topic, she is wonderful. And she is the best grandma to her grandkds.
- My inlaws are Greek. Actually, they seem to be pretty accurate replicas of every family member in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. - FIL is unemployed and having multiple court cases against him for having a 2nd job which he apparently didn't pay taxes on. Despite getting busted he still tries to avoid taxes and will try to cheat his way out of paying for things. He's lost everything he owns and probably his pension and is risking jail time. (Some of this has been blown way out of proportion by the Greek state because they desperately need money... there's no way he owes as much as they say he does, but still... it's bad). - They are constantly flying over here to Holland, using my credit card to do so. - They refuse to learn English (despite constantly being here for weeks, and many of their sons' friends being english speaking) so communication goes through my limited Greek abilities. - They do not listen. To anyone... - They have overstimulated DS to the point where he had to go to urgent care because he stopped drinking, when he was 12 weeks old. They still overstimulate him now despite knowing that he's sensitive to this. Despite this, they spread rumours to their friends that we make DS sick, because he has constant colds (daycare kid...). - They spend up to FIVE HOURS skyping DH and DS per day when I'm not there, singing this stupid Greek song over and over and over. And it's not just them... it's also my Aunt in law, uncle in law, great grandma in law, and often, my cousins in law. - My MIL took DS to church when he was 6 months old, on medications for bronchitis and had him take communion, including wine. To this day she refuses to apologise. - They tell me to sit down. And not just sit down. Sit down, here. No no here, on THIS chair. Now. It doesn't matter if I want to sit down, they just instruct me to do so. I can't go to the bathroom without them meddling in this decision. I don't think I've ever done a non-informed #2 in their presence.
This is a short list of why my inlaws are the worst. I have residual rage bubbling up just writing this. They are the most frustrating human beings I have ever met and seem to be getting worse every month. GAH! DH wants them to stay with us for a month when our 2nd is born. AHA! AHA! AHAHAHAHAA!
My in-laws are wonderful for the most part. My SIL doesn't say or spell my daughters name correctly. It's weird. When we told her the names we had on our list she goes, oh I don't like that name ( the one we ended up choosing). I hope she's not doing on purpose, but I really wouldn't put it past her.
I can't believe some of the things said and done by some of your in-laws. I really hit the jackpot.
Post by ohiorideresq on Mar 1, 2016 9:21:34 GMT -5
I'll play.
When I was pregnant with DS, I had HG and a severe aversion to everything about pork. Everyone knew. We went up to our ILs for thanksgiving, and FIL decided to make pork loin. I got sick as soon as I walked in the door, but was determined to power through. At the dinner table, FIL tried to hand me the plate of pork by sticking it right in my face and proclaiming "so I hear you have a pork aversion" and started chuckling. The next morning, I was jolted awake by overwhelming nausea. I realized while my head was buried in the toilet that FIL was frying bacon.
They make us sleep in separate beds when we go to visit, even though we've been married for almost 6 years. BIL and his live in GF get to sleep in the same bed, though.
They refuse to celebrate holidays on any day except the actual holiday. No flexibility with my family at all. And if we try to talk to them about getting to spend ONE holiday with my family, they flip out. We've been accused of ruining holidays and not caring about them. This year, though, BIL decided to go to GF's family for Christmas and there was zero issue with that. One year, I actually offered that we could come spend 4 days with them, but leave on Christmas eve to go home - or - we could come up late Christmas eve and spend less than 24 hours with them, but it be on the actual day. They picked option #2, because celebrating on the actual day was more important than more quality time with their son. I don't know if I can forgive them for the look of devastation when my husband learned that celebrating on a specific day was more important to them than he is.
On my first mother's day, I called to wish MIL a happy mother's day. Neither wished me a happy mother's day. MIL just said "thanks." When DH told them it hurt me, their response was "she's not our mom."
Even still, though, they clearly aren't as bad as some of your ILs.
Mine are really not that bad at all. FIL used to get a little too close to me while I was breastfeeding to watch the baby. MIL cannot pronounce DD's name, and it is not hard.
SIL and DH have gotten into numerous fights, but with me coaching DH and her new BF has mellowed her, I think they are getting better. SIL likes things to be a certain way and thinks it is productive to call people out. Um if I want to leave the family event at 10pm, I don't believe being called out is really the answer, but whatever.
BIL is a problem. He had a genuine disease, but it is really difficult because he hasn't worked in years and is living off the system and my IL's. He can work, he chooses not to so that is where my issue comes from. Although I understand and am sympathetic to his disease, he uses it as an excuse not to work. I know he can work because he did have a job for a year, but was laid off because it was a temporary 1 year job. I have zero plans to support him in his old age, so I hope he figures out something besides just living on disability, but since he has paid for housing (IL's bought him a house) then I figure he should be fine. So he better think twice about asking us for money considering he hasn't spoken to us in years and gives zero fucks for anyone but himself, and gives zero fucks for our kids. He finally started seeing us again, but doesn't realize that we need to take care of the kids.
morning after our wedding, my H and I stopped by MIL hotel room to say good-bye. she didn't see me (I was standing off to the side) and she looks at my H and says "did she leave you already?!"
2nd story - day of BIL's wedding (in New Orleans.) I got hit by a truck while crossing the street. (minor injuries). my H tells MIL what happened and she tells everyone that I purposely got hurt to get attention.
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