WWYD Summer Beach House?

[ellebelle]

Okay, so I don't have all the details yet because we're having a "planning dinner" on Friday but DH has a friend who is pushing for a summer beach house rental for a week at the end of August.  It would be split between us (DH, me, DD1, DD2), pushy friend and wife and 2 year old son, and other friend and wife and almost 4 year old daughter.  Originally pushy friend wanted us to get a rental in MD about 3 hours away from us.  We asked if they would be okay with Jersey instead (only about an hour away) because I'm nervous about being that far away from the pediatrician and they said that would be fine.  I'm just really nervous that we are going to ruin this vacation for everyone.  We will have a one month old at that time.   When DD was a NB she was up all.the.time at night and was quite a crier.  Breastfeeding still hurt like hell at that time and I was doing it every 2 hours for like 40 minutes at a time.  Anyway, would you go on a beach vacation with friends for a week with a NB?  Or are we crazy for even considering this?  DH is really interested and thinks it would be something nice for DD while she's adjusting to a new sibling, which I do agree with.  I just know NBs are a ton of work and I won't necessarily be on vacation, even if the other couples are.  Anything you would ask about/for at the planning dinner?

[melody330]

I would go. It's only an hour away. What county is it in? Depending on the county I can give some
Recommendations for hospitals just in case if it would easy your mind.

I live on the beach in NJ, so to me this is NBD.

Are you comfortable nursing in front of people? I know those newborn days can be tough especially if you're having issues. But I also know a few LC down here

I would make sure you let H know he's "in charge" of DD as your only job will be keeping NB fed and clean and out of the sun.

TBS, end of August is hot AF down here. I would make sure you have a solid plan to keep baby out of the sun.

[ellebelle]

I wasn't comfortable nursing with DD in front of people because she had a tough time latching and the only hold we could do was cross cradle. Hoping this time I have a better nurser!

And I agree, the shore in August is hot so I will definitely be spending time out of the sun with baby.

[rungirlrun]

I personally would not go. My plan for the first few months of baby #2's life is to keep things as normal as I can for DS. Obviously things will change with a new baby, but I want the basic stuff to remain the same so no traveling for us. And I know when DS was a month old, I wasn't super fun - bleeding still, had milk shooting out of my boobs what seemed like 24/7, and just wanted to get used to life with a new human being. I don't think I'd be the best housemate (and how would pushy friend react to this?). So overall, I know I wouldn't be having a ton of fun and not sure H and DS would have enough fun to make it worth it. I'd settle for a day trip to the beach. Or any chance the trip could be moved up to June? I know rentals can fill quickly, but that could be an option.

[ellebelle]

rungirlrun it would have to be August because we have a couple doctors in the group and they already have their vacation weeks assigned to them for August. :/

[cabbagecabbage]

I would go but only with people I *want* to vacation with. It sounds like you wouldn't be thrilled to be there on an easy week, so I'd probably pass.

We rented a little house on Lake Michigan about an hour away from my house last summer and it was my dream vacation. I'm tempted to try it this year in a bigger place with family. But, again, only because I'm cool with my drippy boobs and crying baby noises in front of them and would want to hang with them for a week.

[lostinfaith225]

My personal plan would to not go. My recovery was rough. I bled until 11, that doesn't fun at the beach! Haha

Also, I would also want to keep things normal for ds. Plus learning to juggle two kids early on will be tough, then add a new place.

But, it could be fun too!

[melody330]

I never thought about PP bleeding. This alone would cause me to re think the trip. I bled for 8 weeks, and there was no way in hell I was getting into a bathing suit at that point.

[roccobabyk]

I would go. I get cabin fever pretty quickly and would welcome that trip out. Since it is only an hour away you could always stay for less time if you're really nervous about it.

[littlesthobo]

I would go, I took DS to the family cottage at 6 weeks old and it was great. It's a little different than your situation since it's family-owned and all our stuff is there, we know where to find doctors, etc but I was glad to get out of the house and have a change of scenery.

Could you go for only a few nights? Will you have your own private space (e.g., bedroom) to nurse and take care of MOTN feedings? I think you will have to make it clear that your H will have to take care of your older DD, and that you won't be able to help much with meals, cleaning, etc.

PP bleeding is another bitch but it might feel nice just to sit on the beach in the fresh air.

[comicSans]

I'm not sure at this point I'd want to share lodging with friends and our respective families at all. It'd be fun to vacation with friends, but with separate spaces.

That said, we went to the beach with family last summer - dh's parents, sil & her h and son, and our little family of 3. The place was big enough and we get along well enough that it worked, so if you're close with your friends it could be fine. Vacationing with two 1-year olds was not relaxing though. Our schedule revolved a lot around naps and bed times and eating. It was early June but there were a couple times it was too hot to take the kids out on the beach. On the beach it was very difficult for me to relax and enjoy it because I was focused on keeping DD content. Based on that experience I'd be hesitant to go with a toddler and a newborn. I wouldn't rule it out entirely, but would set my expectations accordingly and know it may not be as much fun as I'd like. The relationship with the friends and the housing together situation would be a bigger deal breaker for me, not the newborn.

[harlowjune1984]

I wouldn't go mostly because of the lodging with other people. There are only so many people that I enjoy lodging with, and the rest...I will vacation with them, but wont lodge with them. We are going somewhere when baby is going to be about 3 weeks old, and we are choosing not to lodge with anyone just because of the crying at night, and because I know that I would get annoyed with MH. He is the type that if we lodge with others, he relaxes more than he helps.....but if we lodge just as a family, his help is 50/50.

[ellebelle]

Mar 2, 2016 19:43:23 GMT -5 littlesthobo said:

Could you go for only a few nights? Will you have your own private space (e.g., bedroom) to nurse and take care of MOTN feedings? I think you will have to make it clear that your H will have to take care of your older DD, and that you won't be able to help much with meals, cleaning, etc.

PP bleeding is another bitch but it might feel nice just to sit on the beach in the fresh air.

I will definitely ask those questions on Friday. Good idea!

[cavewmn]

No advice but I wish you luck on whatever you decide.

[acorn99]

This is a tough one. The pros: Beach!! PLus NBs are so much more flexible and sleep so much, it is an easy age to take them places. Plus it sounds like DD1 would have a great time.

The cons: it sounds like your friends suck and I would not want to go on vacation with them. I would also not want to put a deposit down and have something come up where you really cannot go and have sunk money into it that you lose. And, as much as NBs sleep, I know for my DS the nights were rough at that age and I would not want to have to put on a happy face for my friends everyday if I had been up every hour all night while on "vacation". I also would be worried about PP bleeding. DNW to go to the beach, but be stuck on land because of the bleeding.

I guess I am onboard with PPs that if you were able to stay someplace by yourselves, where you can have peace and quiet when needed I would do it. But I would not want to stay with friends, especially with a lot of other kids where quiet time may be hard to get.

[katelou]

I would want to know how much privacy and quiet your room provided. For you AND them- you want to be able to nap undisturbed whenever you need to, and are they going to be woken up by a newborn crying multiple times a night and thus annoyed at you. If you did have lots of privacy, it could be good as long as they understand you might not be up for much besides sitting on the porch. Good luck!

[housecarder]

It depends on your personality. I loved getting out of the house as much as possible PP, but I can see where sharing a space for a week could be hard.

[trex]

We actually have a beach trip scheduled in August as well (baby will be 4-5 weeks old). It's going to be 10 days a few hours away and it's a three bedroom condo we are sharing with family. I'm going for a few reasons: mainly because I'm going in with mentality that if it doesn't work that's ok we can come back home. It will be a good experience for my older boys and having family there will help. Since you will be so close to the beach house I would go! You can always throw the towel in if you need to. I would say a private area for you and baby to nurse, sleep, etc is kind of a must though and would change my answer if you didn't have one.