Post by miggg on Mar 7, 2016 16:47:40 GMT -5
** Possible trigger warning **
**The birth was very positive however complications developed afterward so just a heads up for those processing their own birthing or wanting to avoid any negativity before their birthing.
DH stayed home from work Friday to accompany me to my NST and try to help me relax after the stress of the last week. At 8:30AM I started having some cramping which increased in intensity and frequency until the point where I started thinking that maybe this was it. I'd had so much off and on labor though over the last few weeks though that I still wasn't 100% sure how seriously to take them. I called my doula and she came over around 11AM. We chatted and relaxed for awhile and then she did some "releases" on me (assisted stretching poses designed to move baby down) and my labor skyrocketed. By 11:45AM my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart and I could feel that I was starting to bear down just a little.
We went into the birth center at noon where I labored in the tub and on the birth ball for 10-15 minutes before my midwife checked me and said I was at a 9. Literally 60 seconds later I felt myself really bearing down. I wasn't sure if I should be pushing yet but the train had left the station, there was no stopping it. "Is it okay that I'm pushing?? Because I think I'm pushing! Yeah I'm definitely pushing!" She laughed and said I was fine and to follow my body.
18 minutes later DS2, Con.rad MyLastName DHLastName, was born on the birth stool weighing 9lbs 1oz at 20 inches long!
It was exactly the birth I had hoped, prepared, and dreamed for so I was on cloud 9. My parents came to the birth center around 4:30 with DS1 who was so cute with his new little brother, petting his head and giggling. We were just getting ready to head home when we got the news. My midwife was concerned that DS2 could have a testicular torsion - a rare but serious condition that requires immediate medical attention. We had to send DS1 home with my parents and head straight to our local children's hospital. The doctors there confirmed the torsion via ultrasound and called in an emergency surgical team.
Within the hour, my 5 hour old baby was on the operating table. Saying goodbye to him as they prepped him for surgery and wheeled him away was the most painful moment of my life. I seriously lost my shit like I never have before, I was completely hysterical. Between my hysterical sobs, gasping, and moaning through my after-birth contractions, I'm probably lucky they didn't sedate me.
DS2 made it through the surgery very well but unfortunately they were not able to save both testicles, they ended up having to amputate one. They were able to save the other though and prevent it from a future torsion (internal twist) though so he should be able to develop normally.
After surgery he spent the next couple days in the NICU which I found to be more stressful that I could have imagined. With the IV and so many wires hooked up to him, it was really difficult holding him and breastfeeding was a nightmare. Every time he or I moved, one would go out of place and alarms would go off. Which happened literally every 3-4 minutes. Between that and the constant vital checks and blood draws every 2 hours, it was really intense and stressful and I probably slept 1 hour total in those 48 hours.
It didn't help either that I was in a lot of post-partum pain due to not really getting care myself and missing DS1 terribly. We had never left him with a sitter for more than a couple hours before and the thought of how confused and scared he must be broke my heart.
DS1 was discharged yesterday though and we are now home resting and healing as a family. I cannot even describe how happy I am to be home, those couple days in the NICU felt like years that would never end. I am also incredibly grateful to my midwife for noticing such a rare problem and the fast acting of the surgical team at the hospital who were able to save DS2's other testicle with a very smooth surgery that he will never remember.
I will never forget of course, but I hope that with time the beauty of his birth will eclipse the trauma of the subsequent 48 hours. Right now it's still raw and fresh, my heart still pounds with fear and anxiety sometimes when I look at him and see the marks left by the IV and wires. I keep reminding myself, like a mantra, how lucky we are - he is safe and healthy and we will heal. And DH was absolutely amazing, he stayed so strong throughout all of my meltdowns and is now taking such good care of me.
And this is random but I have to tell you that I thought about you ladies when I was in labor and it gave me so much courage and strength. When the contractions were at their peak, I started getting really overwhelmed. And then I thought about you guys and how so many of you have just birthed, were birthing, or would be birthing soon, all of us going through this journey in our way simultaneously. Somehow that sense of camaraderie got me through the worst of transition so thank you for that. 
Aaaand now the squishy pics after that never ending novel!
*DNQ, will poof later*
