DD (my little monster) was up a bunch of times last night. We caved and brought her into our bed at one point. She slept great...I got kicked 100 times and could barely move my hips from the way i had to lay. So mad at myself for not getting up and going to the couch. It seemed so far away at the time but it would have given me at least 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep and would have been worth it! Lesson learned. It's a coffee kind of morning.
It's raining all day in Texas today! DH went out and got me some cold medicine last night, I don't think it helped much, but oh well.
My niece is being born today!!!! So excited. They're 3 hours away in Oklahoma. They have requested no visitors in the hospital. It's kind of awkward and has created some family drama because her family is allowed in the hospital (her Mom is even in the delivery room), but our side of the family isn't allowed, although they did really want to come visit all of our babies in the hospital right away (me and my two sis in laws). My mother in law is really sad and hurt about it all. I'll be up there for a girls' weekend with my college friends this weekend, so I'm hoping to meet her then. She's had a high blood pressure and has been on bed rest the entire pregnancy, so she's actually only 36 weeks but has been measuring very big so they're thinking she will be totally fine. I'm excited to see her and will be watching my phone for updates today!!
Morning, ladies! Our household didn't sleep well last night either. DS is apparently now afraid of shadows. We caved and left the hall light on while he fell asleep last night, but he freaked out at around 4:15 this morning when he woke up and it was off. I wake up at 5:15 usually and he was still wide awake when I got up so I'm sure he's going to have a stellar day at daycare. Please let this phase pass quickly...
It was a Starbucks morning for sure today! Sipping on my caramel macchiato and hoping today is quiet!
txmommy14, exciting news about your niece arriving!! I try to not judge the decisions of pregnant people, but that is kind of weird that a whole side of the family was asked to not come. Have there been issues in the past? Is her family local?
Speaking from the perspective of someone whose ILs can be difficult, them being anywhere near me while giving birth would stress me out because they are not calm people and tend to freak out when things are outside of their norm. They're all out of state, but if it came down to it we would probably ask the same thing and frame it as us wanting them to be able to get a quality visit in a week or so after the baby is born, rather than everyone competing for time at the hospital.
Good morning! I had to get into work an hour early today and I have a presentation this afternoon. I've been lurking and love titing lately but haven't had time to post much.
On the topic of banning people from the hospital, I'm hoping to have folks wait in the waiting room instead of coming into the delivery room, but I'm afraid that will offend the family. We'll see. Maybe we'll wait to call people until we're pretty far along in the delivery. I don't get asking only certain family to stay away completely though.
Post by Flair Underwood on Mar 8, 2016 10:17:38 GMT -5
Having had a MIL who came to the hospital WAY TOO SOON after dd was born, I get asking specifical people to stay away.
With that said, I think there's always a special relationship between a girl and her own mother (even though I'm definitely not "delivery room" tight with my mom), and I understand only wanting specific family there.
For me - having people in the waiting room is even too stressful. I don't want to see you until I am damned ready (i mean, give me HOURS, food, and time to take it all in) - and knowing that people are out there waiting for me to be ready - oh, hell nah. We are definitely "no people or visitors at the hospital until after the baby is born and we call you and tell you when you can come."
I guess that was the only good thing about giving birth in the middle of the night with DS, I didn't have to kick anyone out! My parents were in the room while I was in labor (but not pushing), and that was nice. I think they left around 11 to go to their hotel when it became clear that DS was taking his time.
It makes me kind of sad that my parents won't be in the room at all this time since they will be watching DS and the dog. I've already thought about this moment, but I think I am going to totally lose it when my mom brings DS to the hospital after his little sister is born. I already feel really emotional about it, and I'm not sure why.
I've actually been thinking a lot about the delivery room/hospital waiting room thing lately too. With DS, my mom, step-dad and sister were in the waiting room for hours and were ready to come in to meet him once we were ready. They weren't pushy and understood that we wanted some time after he was born and I didn't feel pressured to let them in before I was ready.
This time, I don't think we'll have anybody there, and I'm a little sad about it. Step-dad's stroke last fall has changed what he and my mom can realistically do and my sister is due the week before I am. I doubt she'll be coming to visit so soon.
I am adamant though that DS will be our first visitor. FIL will likely be the one watching him while we're at the hospital, but we need to figure that part out still.
With DD we didn't have anybody in the waiting room. I asked my sister to come when I started pushing. Then family came shortly after that. But, we weren't even allowed to see them for about 6 hours after due to my complications during the c-section and post. It was really hard on my parents. My dad was devastated about how I looked and I think it took away the excitement of having a new granddaughter.
This time around everything will be so organized and planned. Plus, one of my parents will have DD most likely.
After dragging my feet for months on this issue, I just scheduled two daycare center visits. (I figure I better get on it, since I'll be lucky if I even get a full 12 week leave from work). I'm just in a daze. Visiting daycares make me feel like: OMG, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.
I'm at an off site training session all day today, which is a nice break from the office.
DS coughed all night last night and it turned into a croupy cough so DH is home with him. I hope it doesn't turn into anything else, he, we were all just sick.
Oh! So I'm totally bragging, but I had DS doing some basic math last night. He was playing with lincoln logs and counting them, so we started doing some basic addition and subtraction with them. He's gotten the concepts before from the Pete the Cat books, but I was excited to see him applying it to other things!
Post by woodengirl07 on Mar 8, 2016 11:14:46 GMT -5
The only person I want in the delivery room is my husband. (And the dr, lol) I told him we can call our parents and siblings after she is here. I don't want any added pressure of people waiting on me.
Post by ArgyleEnigma on Mar 8, 2016 11:18:20 GMT -5
Birth is a big deal, physically. I think it's really important to be as understanding as possible of different people's needs. It makes sense to me that IL might be more pressure than natal families, and that the idea of anyone who might need "hosting" could be really stressful.
Different families have different norms and expectations, and even really totally perfectly wonderful ones might be too much for a person just after birth. The "really hurt" MIL may point to this. Being hurt makes sense but sharing it with other family members would be just slightly on the wrong side of appropriate in my view.
I would not make the choices these new parents are (probably--depends on the details, I suppose), but if I were on the other side I'd try to be understanding and gracious.
The only person I want in the delivery room is my husband. (And the dr, lol) I told him we can call our parents and siblings after she is here. I don't want any added pressure of people waiting on me.
The only person I want in the delivery room is my husband. (And the dr, lol) I told him we can call our parents and siblings after she is here. I don't want any added pressure of people waiting on me.
Don't discount an amazing labor & delivery nurse! I still remember mine almost 4 years later and hope I luck out with the same one this time. She was the best!
Ugh, you guys are reminding me that I have no idea what our plan is regarding family at the hospital. I definitely only want DH with me during delivery, but we haven't even discussed when we'll call family (on our way to the hospital, part-way through labor, after the babies are here). I'm thinking I'd like for everyone to be in the waiting room until the babies are born. I'm sure there would be some awkwardness between DH's divorced parents, but that's not my problem. I'm going to bring it up to DH tonight to see what his thoughts are.
pbandj714, my parents pulled it together during that process. They hadn't been divorced long and my dad had his girlfriend with him. if they are adults they will pull it together and act like it. I would hope.
My ILs are so annoying. They've been planning on coming up tomorrow through Sunday for months. Literally, before Christmas this trip was planned. DH's family from out of the country is here for a once in a lifetime visit and they were coming up to stay with us and see San Francisco, Monterey, Wine Country, etc. Last night, DH called to confirm when they would arrive on Wed. and they said they might not come now. Why? Because the weather says rain is likely. Seriously? It's El nino, they live in CA too (southern), and it's supposed to rain at their house too. And, you would really pass on seeing SF during your one lifetime opportunity because of rain!? Not to mention seeing DH, DS, etc. I get it, rain isn't convenient and sightseeing is better in nice weather, but I'd never let rain ruin a once in a lifetime trip or cancel a trip to see family because of it. It's just rain, it's not like it's flying through a tornado!
pbandj714, my parents are divorced and they made it work. Mom stayed there all night waiting, and dad came the next morning and happened to get to the hospital not long after DS was born. They just took turns coming in to see us. I hope his parents can be respectful, and that their excitement over the babies will overshadow any weirdness. And honestly, you'll be so hopped up on adrenaline and hormones that you won't notice any of it anyway.
As for the hospital, last time, my mom flew out about a week before my due date and was at the hospital, but in teh waiting room. Only DH and I were in the delivery room. I was induced, so my ILs started driving up that morning (10 hour drive). After DS was born, we were moved to the recovery room and then accepted visitors. ILs made the 10 hour drive a 14 hour drive (stop for breakfast, lunch, coffee, and dinner), so they came a couple of hours after we were in recovery already so we had some nice time with my family first and then ILs. This time, my mom is flying out a week before and will be watching DS in the waiting room while I deliver. ONly DH and I will be in the delivery room again and only my mom and DS will be in the waiting room. We have the same plan with the ILs - call them to start driving when we head to the hospital or have then come a couple of days later. ILs need hosting whereas my mom is super low key and helpful, so there's a big difference in stress levels for me.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Mar 8, 2016 11:58:14 GMT -5
My family has been completely un-involved in my pregnancy, which is a mixed blessing. I'm happy that no one has asked me to be present during the delivery and I doubt that we will have hospital visitors or even many visitors once we're home from the hospital. So it will probably really just be me and DH during the delivery and the newborn period. But at the same time I'm a bit sad about it. No one has offered to throw me a shower (this is my first baby). No one ever calls to check on how I am doing, or asks for bump photos, or has sent gifts. We're just deeply private people and that's the way it's always been, but a part of me feels like I'm missing out on the community/family experience you're supposed to have while pregnant.
MIL asked twice to be in the delivery room and even laid a guilt trip on us saying she had such a difficult year with BIL's death. I finally told her, it's my choice to just have DH. That stopped that, thank goodness.
I have a student who brings me in chips almost everyday. He came in today asking how I was feeling and if I could taste anything (I told him yesterday that's the first thing to go when I have a cold) because he had more chips for me. I hated passing on them because they've become the highlight of my day. I miss my chips!
The only person I want in the delivery room is my husband. (And the dr, lol) I told him we can call our parents and siblings after she is here. I don't want any added pressure of people waiting on me.
Don't discount an amazing labor & delivery nurse! I still remember mine almost 4 years later and hope I luck out with the same one this time. She was the best!
Sure, them too! I just do not want any family!
ETA: my whole family lives in the same town as me so there are no traveling issues or anything.
Don't discount an amazing labor & delivery nurse! I still remember mine almost 4 years later and hope I luck out with the same one this time. She was the best!
Sure, them too! I just do not want any family!
Thinking back, I'm pretty sure I told my L&D nurse that I loved her at one point.
I really hope that your family starts to get a little more involved frecklesnbrains. Do your parents or ILs have grandchildren yet? DH and I are pretty private too, so I think sometimes people feel like if you don't put things out there that you don't want to be asked. I also feel like sometimes people assume that very successful women like yourself don't need or want help, even if it's not true.
I just want DH with me. There was like a constant stream of people in and out last time while I labored (not pushing) and I was just too exhausted and drugged to make any sort of deal about it. This time inlaws will be far away and my parents will be with DD. It will be nicer I think.
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