csat, oddly enough I was thinking about that last night. I coughed while eating and was like "hmmm, I wonder what DH would do if I was legit choking?" He's CPR trained and has a background in athletic training, so I guess he knows? I should probably ask...
soultrane, as you might expect instead of the inward upward j motion at the belly button its the same but focused up higher up right above wherever your bump is. Good to know though certainly,
Post by origamimommy on Mar 8, 2016 19:57:41 GMT -5
Hugs to everyone dealing with parent stuff. It's really hard. My mother and I have always had a tumultuous relationship. She is BSC but did a lot of damage to all of us as kids (incredibly abusive). I got it the worst being the only girl. I thought having a baby would bond us and bring us closer, and it didn't. When my son was 2 weeks, I cut her out of my life for good. It has taken years and lots of therapy, but I was at peace about it and knew it was the right decision. Being pregnant again brings up all of those emotions again and it's really hard. I wrote a blog under an alias for my friend's blog and it was really therapeutic, and I was also surprised at the response I got and how many people went through the same things. It just gives me a lot of motivation to be a better mom and above all else, be loving.
Here it is in case anyone is interested. Since it's under an alias I feel okay sharing it, but it is really personal and was hard to write.
origamimommy...good for you for ending the cycle and protecting your child(ren) from the abuse they surely would have endured as well. You are one strong mama.
I will never understand why people allow awful behaviors to go unchecked "because they're family". In my book, if you wouldn't stand it from non-family, why should you take he abuse from family. After learning some of the neglectful things MIL did to DH and SIL, I had to help DH realize that she would not be babysitting our children. If you knew a nanny had those behaviors on her resume you would never hire her.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Mar 8, 2016 20:25:38 GMT -5
origamimommy thanks so much for sharing that. It was beautifully written, and I'm so glad you're in a better place. Your mother and my MIL sound very similar and DH is much happier with her out of his life. It also took him a lot of therapy to get there. My best friend also cut her mentally ill mother out of her life when she gave birth and her mother refused to get treatment. You definitely aren't alone. Hugs!
Only me and DH in the delivery room. My mom will know when we're in labor, as she watches the kids, and brings them as the first visitors. I do allow visitors after we've had some time, been moved to the postpartum room and have done some bfing. No children visitors and my babes seem to eat every 1.5 hrs or so, so visits need to be short.
shoogars Amen to visits being short. That should be an obvious rule for people. The time in the hospital is so short and special, I don't especially want to spend hours with anyone except my DH and the baby.....I should be sleeping rather than that happen!
The hospital plans are making me wide eyed. I can't believe I need to start thinking about that.
With dd1, we called family (5hr and 4hrs away, respectively) when I was admitted. Buuuuut, it took another 24+ hours so our families were sleeping on the floor in the waiting room. I felt terrible.
This time, I think I'll wait until I'm ready to start pushing to tell anyone (besides my friend that is keeping DD). I doubt DH will love that plan - but I want to avoid people waiting around for the baby to arrive.
Also, I feel guilty admitting this, but we've hired a doula to be in the delivery room with DH and me. I haven't told any family bc I'm worried they'll be hurt. I'm hoping they don't have to know. Ever.
Post by lakecountrygal on Mar 8, 2016 23:52:48 GMT -5
Hospital Plans:
None here yet, I'm almost thinking of having a friend watch DS and the dog and calling family right before like we did with DS (family is 4 hours away) because DH wants MIL here and I want my own mother to watch DS.
As far as in the room goes just DH. With DS one of DHs close cousins whom I've also gotten close to ended up in the room. She came to see us and let us know how the dog was doing and suddenly it was time to push. Because of the OB, resident dr., 2 nurses, DH, and the NICU team she couldn't get out the door. She stayed by my head and ended up being a great support system. If she's around I wouldn't mind her in the room again. It helped give me comfort knowing that DH could go with DS to the NICU but I wasn't left completely alone after.
I'm just catching up from the last couple days. I'm so sorry to those that have lost their moms or those who have lost touch. origamimommy thanks for sharing your article and hugs for what you've been through.
Dh and I were adamant on it just being the two of us while pushing. I'm happy it was because my labor was pretty easy but the pushing took almost 4 hours. My mom would've stressed me out more and it was a moment I got to share with just dh. My mom and sister were in the waiting room and came in right away after ds was born. My family all lives very far so it's hard to plan with this baby. I now need someone to watch ds.
I'm struggling this week without dh. I should be used to him being gone but some times it's harder than other times. Ds has been pressing the right buttons. Then tonight at bedtime he took a flash light and shined it on my belly and said "I'll give baby light so he can read." He kisses my belly and talks to the baby. He's going to be such a fantastic big brother and makes the entire day's stress go away.
I'm just catching up... I'm so sorry GOmamab15 and Kevinmac. My mom lost her mom at a very early age as well and I have seen how difficult it can be for her process wonderful milestones. Huge hugs to both of you.
cattuccino, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. That is so hard. Sending you hugs as well.
origamimommy, thanks for sharing. You are so very strong.
origamimommy- that was beautiful. Good for you, while it's difficult you must feel so free. I haven't had a relationship with my father since 1997. I've run into him a couple times here or there and went to dinner at my old house once, but he is still the same person. There is a lot I need to say to him, and then after that I will be able to carry on the rest of my life without him.
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