I was so right/I was so wrong

[jewel441]

So I have been thinking a lot about my expectations before baby was here and how it is now that she is even though we have been home all of 2 days... I feel like I knew myself pretty well.

I thought it might be fun to share some things we were right about and some things we were wrong about:

I was so right:
1. I have a high threshold for pain. Several of the nurses and doctors commented on this to me while we were in the hospital. I refused all the opioids after my C section which apparently is not something a lot of ppl do. I think it was a huge factor in why we got to leave the hospital early though and I never felt I needed anything stronger than Motrin/Tylenol.

2. I love the arms reach. It was definitely the right choice for us. I have a really hard time falling asleep if she isn't in the room with me. I like to hear her and know everything is ok. I can get her out of the arms reach without getting up, even with my limited mobility right now which is great.

3. I love BF so far. Even though it's hard and sometimes stressful I wouldn't trade it for anything.

4. I hated the spinal. I know an epidural would be a little different but idk if I would get it unless I needed another C. My reaction to the spinal was by far the worst part of the whole birth and recovery experience.

I was so wrong:
1. My biggest one here is we needed more stuff. We were not prepared with what we had in the house AT ALL. H or my mom has needed to make at least one baby store run everyday and I still feel like we don't have enough. Waiting for gifts was a mistake, we should have bought more ourselves.

2. Like most FTM I'm guessing we packed all the wrong things in our hospital bag! Definitely did not need 3/4 of what was in there and more clothes for H and more snacks would have been so much more useful. I will also definitely bring the Boppy next time (one of our emergency target run purchases).

3. Having a c section wasn't bad and i don't even feel remotely disappointed in her birth, which I am really glad about I was so worried I would be disappointed in myself for it but I really don't feel that way at all.

[miggg]

Aww I'm so glad to hear you're at peace with her birth jewel441, I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it after everything you'd been through in the end of pregnancy.

I was so right:

1) As much as I love the idea of a waterbirth, it's not for me. I stuck with the birthing stool again. Not as glamorous but, what I can I say, I guess I do my best work on the pot..

I was so wrong:

1) This baby is nothing at all like my first! Night and day! Not in a bad way, he's so much calmer and relaxed than DS1 was/is. It's funny because he looks so similar but personality-wise they're opposite so far.

2) DS1 is an awesome big brother! After the trauma of suddenly spending the weekend at his grandparents', he's really coming around and is so sweet and gentle with DS2. Which is shocking because he is only 22 months and a firecracker in very other situation lol.

[adorebel]

This is fun! I'm sure the "I was so wrong" list is going to be a mile long as time goes on!

I WAS SO RIGHT:

- A natural birth was really important to me (if it was possible), and I'm so glad I read about it and prepared for it for months beforehand so I could really put my best effort in (assuming all went well, which it mostly did). I felt really empowered by it - like the strongest version of myself! I felt in control of my body during the birth, which was excruciatingly painful, but also mentally and emotionally awesome.

- I produce a lot of milk! These DD boobies that have been hanging around me for the last 18 years ain't for nothin! (ETA: I know there is pretty much no scientific correlation between breast size and milk production. I'm just glad my huge boobs work for something. )

- The baby came a week early (I predicted this, then doubted myself after a cervical check and started preparing to go way over my EDD...)

- The baby's name is perfect for her. I'm so glad it's the one we chose before we saw her.

- I love cloth diapers! So far they don't feel like much work, and they are SAH CUTE. I also love that she hasn't had any diaper rash yet and the cloth wipes keep her skin super dry after changes.

I WAS SO WRONG:

- Our doula was not a "luxury" - for a time I thought of her as a special add-on that we couldn't really afford and felt guilty about it. She was an absolute necessity. I could not have labored naturally for 20 hours without her, and the classes we took with the other doulas were so helpful as well.

- I love waking up in the night to BF. I thought I would find it tedious and annoying, but I actually really look forward to the special time with DD! This is probably because DD had a deep latch right away and BFing hasn't been painful for me so far, so I know I'm very lucky about that. At this point, the draw to feed her is purely emotional, but it was also interesting how in the first week DD had a STRONG, attractive smell to me that no one else could smell. When I would pick her up in the night to feed her, the smell would hit me and I would wake up and get excited to BF - totally hormonal and really strange!

- Swaddling is everything. DD can actually sleep with arms out of her swaddle now (at 10 days) without flailing at herself and waking herself up, but it is such an easy way to make her feel secure. I also love that we can dress her in fewer clothes and swaddle her for naps during the day, making diaper changes easier and naps longer.

- I kind of imagined this time as nightmarish, especially with me being the only one to wake up and change and feed her from 10pm to 6am every day, but so far, it's been the best 10 days of my life. I'm tired and I've cried a few times this week (happy or sad tears!), but I'm much more calm and joyful than I was preparing myself for.

[adorebel]

Oh wait, another I was so right:

I had champagne in the hospital. And a glass of wine the night we came home. And several since. And we took the baby to a brewery yesterday. So my siggy is officially accurate.

(Don't worry, I'm drinking 1 drink a day, right after a feeding, and waiting 2-3 hours to feed her again.)

[SheilaTheTank]

I have something to write in here. Need to get to a computer long enough to type it out. Hopefully I will this weekend. I was so wrong about so many things. Lol

[SheilaTheTank]

Finally on computer:

I was so right:

-I was able to get K to sleep in her crib from day one. I don't feel like a terrible person for doing this either. She gets sleep and we get sleep. win/win

-I did panic a few times in the hospital because I couldn't move and was stuck to the bed. At one point I texted MH "I'm going to lose it" and was this close to tearing off all the IVs and oxygen and monitors and going home.

-Watching MH with our daughter is my favorite part of my day. He is amazing with her and it's so fun to watch them interact.

-The first few days postpartum was like the movie Carrie. So much blood. EVERYWHERE! Seriously, so. much. blood.

-Nipple confusion is the biggest bunch of bullshit ever invented. We gave K a paci from the first night and a bottle from the 5th day. She knows the difference and won't take a paci if she's hungry, only when she's tired.

I was so wrong:

-Holy Christ on a cracker why did no one tell me that the pushing is the worst part?! All the birth stories focus on the labor and then give a time period for pushing. They don't say how it feels like your pelvis is literally tearing in half! The pressure was insane.

-My mother was my rock during my labor. I was nervous that she was going to be overbearing, but I seriously could not have done it without her. She was amazing and I definitely want her there for any subsequent children.

-Drugs are amazing! Give me all the drugs. I may possibly try for natural again but I'm no longer opposed to drugs.

-I thought cloth diapering was going to be difficult and I would possibly give up on it. NOPE! Breastfeeding is by far way, way more difficult and is a challenge everyday. I hate my nipples and they hate me.

-Just because your water breaks, does not mean you won't need to be induced (*grumble, grumble*)

[isolemnlyswear]

Right

C is an amazing big sister at only 19 months. She's caring and gentle and not very jealous. She loves to give her brother kisses.

Laboring at home was much much better than at the hospital

Wrong:
How long it would take. I could have never ever guessed I'd have a baby in 3.5hrs start to finish. C was 22hrs...

I always thought my epidural wore off with C.. haha. While it did wear off some it definitely did help with the pain. Holy moly going 100% med free was very very intense.