How's Your LO Play?

[annapunkalunka]

So C doesn't play with toys. She'll play for a bit (if we're lucky) if we sit in the floor and interact with her. Otherwise she doesn't play. Going outside and exploring seems to be making her happy, but otherwise she doesn't play. The same goes with her sitter. I guess she doesn't play when she's with her and her kids either. Should I be concerned that she's not playing? She's always seemed to me to be a bit more "high maintenance", so I don't know if this is just an extension of that, or if it's something I should legit be worried about. Opinions/experience??

[aaemommy]

Play was something that was on the questionnaire I filled out at A's 18 month check. Did you do one of those? Or did your pedi ask about it at her well check? If not, definitely ask at the 2 year check.

A always plays better when he's interacting with us and toys. But he does play with his toys on his own. I don't have much other knowledge but every kid is different so comparing your DD with other kids won't necessarily give you much helpful information.

[annapunkalunka]

I didn't do a questionnaire at her 18 month appointment, but if it remains an issue, I'll definitely bring it up at her 2 year visit, thanks aaemommy.
It's hard because I don't see it as abnormal, but then I start thinking (overthinking, probably) and I work myself up. I don't know anything different, but my sitters kids are generally easy going, so she sometimes has a hard time with C.

[weeklyplanner]

Does she do parallel play? For example, while the sitter and her kids are playing, will she play next to them, but not with them? Does she mimic their playing behavior? If you take a little person and make them walk into the house/bus or take a car and drive them on the floor saying "beep beep!" does she copy this behavior? Those are some important early play skills you want to be looking for. If you don't see any of those, I'd speak with your pedi. As a former early childhood special Ed teacher, early intervention is key. She may just need the extra push and extra modeling of behavior to get there. I say all this as a mom of a kid who is definitely lacking in speech, so please don't take it in a judgmental way. They all have their strengths and weaknesses!

Other idea for activities that might get her more interested are a sensory table (sand or water), finger paints, crayons, stickers, shaving cream, etc. Also, if you see any huge aversions to these types of activities, I'd also mention that to your pediatrician.

In our house, DS does play. Some days it's great, other days (teething, sick), I swear he doesn't touch a toy all day. But, even on his best day, he jumps from one activity to the next very quickly. A sand table or stickers will keep him interested the longest.

[gratefulgirl]

We get a teensy bit of age appropriate pretend (hold phone to say "hi", pretend to rock a baby for 2 seconds), which is what the autism screen asks about. She will build with Duplos and stack her blocks, especially with someone nearby. She will do container play for the longest - her latest is climbing in and out of boxes herself. But the best to her is being outside exploring for sure. I thought that was normal for this age? I encourage it,

[annapunkalunka]

weeklyplanner she does do parallel play. For like 3 seconds occasionally. She mimics, but she mimics adults more than kids.
She does enjoy playdoh, stickers and coloring. Those are some of our daily activities and no huge aversions, thankfully. Maybe I'll look into a sand table. I bet she would like that for more than two minutes at a time.
Thank you for your response. No judgement taken at all!! I asked so I could have responses like this, so thanks

[gratefulgirl]

Mar 13, 2016 7:19:00 GMT -5 annapunkalunka said:

weeklyplanner she does do parallel play. For like 3 seconds occasionally. She mimics, but she mimics adults more than kids.
She does enjoy playdoh, stickers and coloring. Those are some of our daily activities and no huge aversions, thankfully. Maybe I'll look into a sand table. I bet she would like that for more than two minutes at a time.
Thank you for your response. No judgement taken at all!! I asked so I could have responses like this, so thanks

Being better at playing with adults than kids is pretty normal at this age, I have read.

[ice61313]

Nora plays quite a bit. She loves talking on her phone while walking around, she dances and tries to jump quite a bit, grabs her baby and stuffed animals, stacks blocks, plays with puzzles, "cooks" things and feeds us. Really, a lot of what she does is basically moving toys around because her attention span is so short. Being outside is a huge favorite.

[mimsy]

I think the amount of play has a lot to do with attention span. If The Sageling is at something for 5 min, that's incredible.

[redhorizon343]

I don't feel like I totally understand. If she doesn't play, what is she doing in the house? Just roaming around? Crying until you come back to the floor to play with her? Watching tv? Staring at the wall?

I don't have the background to know if it's alarming, but I will say it's very different from my experience. My DD is constantly playing. Running, jumping, "reading", feeding stuffed animals, etc. as long as I'm within eye shot she's usually ok to play alone for a little while. Sometimes I can leave the room for about 5 minutes.

If she's not really engaging with anything I'd probably ask your doc about an autism or some sort of social skills screening.

[lucilleaustero]

So, just to clarify. She does not ever engage in independent play? What will she do if she is with her toys, but you are not sitting there trying to engage her? Does she show interest in playing with other kids?

Both my kids were/are into both independent play and playing with other kids at this age. This was addressed at their 18 month appointments, two different pedis. It is worth a question to the pedi since it is on your mind. But, kids develop at different stages and are unique and quirky and some kids just never get in to toys.

[Deleted]

DS definitely plays. He is currently obsessed with anything with wheels and will drive things around. He has a little people bus and airplane that he fills w characters and he even talks to them....although I have no clue what he is saying:) He also loves ride on toys.
He plays both independently and interactively with adults and w other kids at daycare.

[annapunkalunka]

Mar 13, 2016 13:07:35 GMT -5 redhorizon343 said:

I don't feel like I totally understand. If she doesn't play, what is she doing in the house? Just roaming around? Crying until you come back to the floor to play with her? Watching tv? Staring at the wall?

I don't have the background to know if it's alarming, but I will say it's very different from my experience. My DD is constantly playing. Running, jumping, "reading", feeding stuffed animals, etc. as long as I'm within eye shot she's usually ok to play alone for a little while. Sometimes I can leave the room for about 5 minutes.

If she's not really engaging with anything I'd probably ask your doc about an autism or some sort of social skills screening.

So I have to constantly engage her. If I'm not she's crying/whining. The tv has become vital for my survival. I used it more than I would have liked over the winter getting through the first trimester. And now it's almost like she expects tv... But I won't put it on. Maybe once we've broken the tv habit she'll get better. That's my hope anyway.

[annapunkalunka]

Mar 13, 2016 14:12:44 GMT -5 lucilleaustero said:

So, just to clarify. She does not ever engage in independent play? What will she do if she is with her toys, but you are not sitting there trying to engage her? Does she show interest in playing with other kids?

Both my kids were/are into both independent play and playing with other kids at this age. This was addressed at their 18 month appointments, two different pedis. It is worth a question to the pedi since it is on your mind. But, kids develop at different stages and are unique and quirky and some kids just never get in to toys.

Today was the first time she's engaged in independent play (for 2 mins she played with blocks, unprovoked) in a long time.
She shows interest in other kids, but more just to watch them. She doesn't really care to interact with them.
I'm just struggling to figure out if this is just her personality or if I should be concerned. Thanks for the input

[mimsy]

Mar 13, 2016 18:56:17 GMT -5 annapunkalunka said:

Mar 13, 2016 14:12:44 GMT -5 lucilleaustero said:

So, just to clarify. She does not ever engage in independent play? What will she do if she is with her toys, but you are not sitting there trying to engage her? Does she show interest in playing with other kids?

Both my kids were/are into both independent play and playing with other kids at this age. This was addressed at their 18 month appointments, two different pedis. It is worth a question to the pedi since it is on your mind. But, kids develop at different stages and are unique and quirky and some kids just never get in to toys.

Today was the first time she's engaged in independent play (for 2 mins she played with blocks, unprovoked) in a long time.
She shows interest in other kids, but more just to watch them. She doesn't really care to interact with them.
I'm just struggling to figure out if this is just her personality or if I should be concerned. Thanks for the input

We have been big tv people too. It happens. Do you have an outdoor play space now that it is getting warmer? I found that exploring is a great independent activity.

[annapunkalunka]

mimsy we've been getting outside a lot more this past week because it's finally been so nice out. She quickly gets bored in our yard because there's nothing but grass, but I'll bring her to the driveway to play with rocks and that keeps her happy. I think we'll be going on lots of walks in the woods so she can explore more. It's definitely easier not feeling cooped up inside all day!!

[mimsy]

Mar 13, 2016 19:10:34 GMT -5 annapunkalunka said:

mimsy we've been getting outside a lot more this past week because it's finally been so nice out. She quickly gets bored in our yard because there's nothing but grass, but I'll bring her to the driveway to play with rocks and that keeps her happy. I think we'll be going on lots of walks in the woods so she can explore more. It's definitely easier not feeling cooped up inside all day!!

I've been picking up outdoor things here and there. Balls are inexpensive. She likes to play in the dirt. Slides are like $35 at target. It will last you longer with more than one.
I hate saying to force her to be independent, but pretend to ignore her. She's going to have to deal with your split attention soon.

[inaya]

Some of what you're describing could just be her personality or just a stage she's going through. I would definitely discuss it with your pedi at the next appointment, even if only to have a sense of what's developmentally appropriate. They're supposed to do autism screenings at 18 months and 2 years, I believe. Did they discuss anything about how she plays and interacts with others at her 18m appointment?

It's hard to tell if it's more that she's just demanding a lot of attention, or if she's not actually interested in playing. Does she take charge when you're playing with her? Does she know what to do with her toys? J can be very needy like that, too, but she does get into stuff and entertain herself when she's not super clingy. Usually it's hardest when she's hungry or tired.

Maybe try setting up play stations near you with something you know she likes or something unusual that she might check out on her own. Or try rotating her toys. Put out a "discovery box" with random stuff from around the house that's safe enough for her to play with but she doesn't normally have access to. One of J's toys today is an empty tissue box. There are lots of ideas online - too many, really, but they're there. She might just need to break the habit of having fun provided for her, if that makes sense.

[gratefulgirl]

Mar 14, 2016 19:44:41 GMT -5 inaya said:

*snip*

She might just need to break the habit of having fun provided for her, if that makes sense.

I don't know if this is your parenting style at all annapunkalunka (if it doesn't fit, feel free to ignore it), but Janet Lansbury has some great stuff on how to encourage independent play in kids (here, here, here) .

[annapunkalunka]

inaya thanks for those suggestions, they're great ideas!
I think her pcp did an autism screen at her appointment, but without me knowing, just by asking casual questions. I honestly can't remember what he asked, but I was honest about everything and he wasn't concerned. I've just been noticing it more lately. She knows how to play. But I think she gets bored really, really quickly. We found a book yesterday that we hadn't seen in months and she was pumped. But all of the toys at our house bore her. Even if I try to rotate them. I'll have to get some things that are safe but "forbidden" for her to play with I'm sure she'd like that. I really will try to "ignore" her, but she won't back down. I'm struggling to deal with such a strong-willed kid.

[annapunkalunka]

Mar 14, 2016 19:56:38 GMT -5 gratefulgirl said:

Mar 14, 2016 19:44:41 GMT -5 inaya said:

*snip*

She might just need to break the habit of having fun provided for her, if that makes sense.

I don't know if this is your parenting style at all annapunkalunka (if it doesn't fit, feel free to ignore it), but Janet Lansbury has some great stuff on how to encourage independent play in kids (here, here, here) .

Thanks for those articles. I had actually read the first one in my google search to see how I could fix her. I think it's definitely worth trying!!

[weeklyplanner]

Mar 14, 2016 20:02:24 GMT -5 annapunkalunka said:

inaya thanks for those suggestions, they're great ideas!
I think her pcp did an autism screen at her appointment, but without me knowing, just by asking casual questions. I honestly can't remember what he asked, but I was honest about everything and he wasn't concerned. I've just been noticing it more lately. She knows how to play. But I think she gets bored really, really quickly. We found a book yesterday that we hadn't seen in months and she was pumped. But all of the toys at our house bore her. Even if I try to rotate them. I'll have to get some things that are safe but "forbidden" for her to play with I'm sure she'd like that. I really will try to "ignore" her, but she won't back down. I'm struggling to deal with such a strong-willed kid.

My pedi definitely does the screening in a very casual Q&A style. Once she was done, she said "Oh, I ask all the questions for an autism screening." I hear you on the boredom. The struggle is real. Hopefully going to daycare will help her with not being so bored.