QOTD 2/4

[carli]

How are you handling discipline so far?  Any specific challenges?

[carli]

I started using timeouts this weekend. I think DD really does seem to understand so I've been sticking with them. I pretty much just use them for hitting and biting, which she has suddenly decided is a great way to handle her irritation at mommy.

I've also noticed, she seems to misbehave (i.e. hitting and biting) when I'm on the phone. I think she's testing me b/c she knows my full attention is not on her. Luckily, I only ever talk to my mom so I quickly get off the phone and deal with her.

I'm finding it hard b/c I love her soooo much but the hitting and biting really irritates me. She knows she's not supposed to. It is written all over her defiant little face. I'm hoping if I stick with the consistent 1 minute timeouts she will get better.

[Unknown]

We aren't really disciplining yet. If she is doing anything she shouldn't we just say "no,no" or "no, ma'am" and redirect. Usually she screams and runs around the house yelling "no,no". We tried time outs a couple months ago, but it was obvious she was too young. Luckily we aren't dealing w/ anything like biting or hitting, mostly just climbing on furniture.

[littlefoot]

We aren't really disciplining yet either. Like Unknown we just say no and redirect. DH seems to think that tantrums need to be resulted in time outs but I always win with this.

carli where do you do time outs?

[RedDDD]

This is a tough one for me. DS will be 3 in April so we have been working on discipline. The time outs DO NOT work for us. NOT one bit. I think you have to find the thing that works for your kid. What works for DS is taking away the toy he is playing with. He knows he wont get it back until the next day and he remembers and asks for it. The issue we have with DD is she bites on occasion and she gets very jealous when you give attention to DS. I have just had to be really consistent and say "No Im playing with R-man right now, it will be your turn in a few minutes."   Or "we are playing together and sharing"

I wish I could say I am good about it but Im not.....I need to work on being more consistent and holding my ground but at her age (17 months) discipline is really more about redirection.

[junewife]

Usually just redirection or saying "no" sternly. He's started hitting and pulling my hair when he's mad at me though and it's driving me insane.

[carli]

Feb 4, 2015 10:13:00 GMT -5 littlefoot said:

We aren't really disciplining yet either. Like Unknown we just say no and redirect. DH seems to think that tantrums need to be resulted in time outs but I always win with this.

carli where do you do time outs?

I basically just have a spot on the floor against the wall where there is nothing close by.  Whatever room we're in, there's a clear spot and that's where she would go but every time so far we've been in the play room so she has a very definite spot there.  I take my cues from Supernanny lol.  I always take her to the spot, sit her down and tell her "You're in timeout now b/c you hit/bit mommy.  We do not hit/bite".  Then after 1 minute I go back to her and say "mommy put you in time out b/c you hit/bit.  We don't hit/bite.  Timeout is over".  She'll pretty much stop crying instantly, hug me and then go back to playing.

Honestly, she is not badly behaved at all except for these random hitting or biting incidents.  I mean, she gets mad and hits or bites, so they're not completely random.  Yesterday for example, she was standing up in the bathtub which I do not allow.  I told her no and made her sit back down and she gave me a dirty look and hit me!  I was taken back so quick by that.  Immediately she was out of the bath and into bed.  I didn't do timeout this time b/c losing bath time was discipline enough in my opinion.

As far as playing with things she shouldn't I redirect her or take the item away and that works well but again, our main issue is the hitting or biting if she doesn't get her way.

[Deleted]

Not really disciplining yet. They don't really get the concept. We're just saying "no" and redirecting them to something more positive. If one steals the other's toy, for example, I will sternly tell the offender "no," give the toy back to the one who had it first, and redirect the stealer to another toy. Toy stealing is probably the "worst" thing that's happening at the moment. Aside from screeching to get my attention.

[carli]

man, sounds like my kids the only twerp that's taken to violence so quickly lol.

[RedDDD]

Feb 4, 2015 10:51:36 GMT -5 carli said:

man, sounds like my kids the only twerp that's taken to violence so quickly lol.

nope you are not alone....I have a bruise on my chest where DD bit me the other day.

[legitsince86]

We only say "no" and redirect her. Most of her tantrums have to do with me closing off the room where the cat is because she keeps pulling the tail.

A few times she's bit out of anger. Sometimes she'll hit but she's trying to be playful (thanks, DH!). She also tries to bite when playing but I think it's because we blow raspberries on her and she's trying to emulate it.

[junewife]

Feb 4, 2015 11:30:19 GMT -5 jnetx said:

Feb 4, 2015 10:57:27 GMT -5 RedDDD said:

nope you are not alone....I have a bruise on my chest where DD bit me the other day.

Mine's doing it too. Right now it's mostly directed at the poor dog, but occasionally he will be rough with me.

We're struggling with it too.

[annarose]

We haven't really started any right now. Like everyone else we just try an redirect her. She has been throwing tantrums starting over this past weekend and actually pulled my hair last night. It's hard becuase I don't really have an idea as to why she's throwing them or what she wants in those moments that she feels she's not getting. I do think some more teeth are coming in so Im hoping the bad moods are from that

[girlonfire]

I just let DD have her moment when she has a tantrum and it's usually over before it starts. I talk to her once she calms down and say something like 'I know it's frustrating when xyz happens, but it's not ok to scream'. I'll start with time out when she turns 18 months which is what her pedi recommends. DDs teacher just told me yesterday that DD is starting to swing at her teachers during a tantrum. Not sure what's causing it but she's not doing it at home, yet. They do time out at her daycare and have done so since the beginning.

[wowcheezits]

We aren't disciplining yet and I am confident we'll all be discussing this more and more in the future as they get older. So far ignoring her tantrums seems to work for now, but wow, can she really kick, scream, hit! We stop her from hitting by holding her hand and say we don't hit. Then she'll throw herself on the floor and start kicking and screaming. Then that's when I walk away and let her kick and scream and she'll do that for less than a minute before she realizes she doesn't have an audience. Other than that yes I try to redirect her attention elsewhere.

[ajaan113]

I avoid saying "no" unless it is something dangerous. I say "stop" and say the unwanted behavior and redirect. I try to state my directions in a positive way. Instead of "don't hit Doug." I might say "let's be gentle with Doug" "Look this is how we pet Doug."

BTW Doug the dog's name.

[fiveohfive]

I usually say no and redirect her, but there are things she will do repeatedly for attention and at that point I sit her somewhere and leave the room. I'm not sure if this is a good thing to do or not, but it gets the point across that her bad behavior won't get my attention for long

[joi922]

We also usually say no and redirect him. Thus far, his tantrums mainly consist of him throwing himself on the ground and crying. Over the weekend he was repeatedly doing something we asked him not to, and I tried to put him in a time out. I thought I was being pretty stern, but he just laughed like I was being silly. So yeah, that didn't work. We assume time outs won't mean much to him for a little while longer.

[lilqt3929]

Feb 4, 2015 12:09:21 GMT -5 annarose said:

We haven't really started any right now. Like everyone else we just try an redirect her. She has been throwing tantrums starting over this past weekend and actually pulled my hair last night. It's hard becuase I don't really have an idea as to why she's throwing them or what she wants in those moments that she feels she's not getting. I do think some more teeth are coming in so Im hoping the bad moods are from that

This is us too. She has bottom molars cutting now and I know that's not helping the situation for us.

[zoly1103]

We also are mostly just redirecting. I've tried time outs, but it's so hard to keep him in the same spot. I also just talk to him and tell him that he shouldn't be doing whatever. My husband used to give me a hard time about it because he "doesn't understand", until one day he did something that made him realize that yes he really does understand for the most part. At home he is mostly just getting into things that he shouldn't. The hitting has seemed to have stopped thankfully and for the most part he only bites at daycare.

[gallumbits]

Feb 4, 2015 19:27:43 GMT -5 ajaan113 said:

I avoid saying "no" unless it is something dangerous. I say "stop" and say the unwanted behavior and redirect. I try to state my directions in a positive way. Instead of "don't hit Doug." I might say "let's be gentle with Doug" "Look this is how we pet Doug."

BTW Doug the dog's name.

same here, because when I say No.. he won't stop saying it.