"Within the range of developmentally normal children, some parents have a much, much harder job than others."
As the parent of a child who was a terrible sleeper and incredibly fuusy baby, this is really helpful to keep in mind but also for those with 'easy' babies, sleepers or whatever also useful as your experiences and advice may be completely irrelevant and unhelpful for those having a difficult time. More often than not it comes down to differences in temperament not parenting ability or effort. I've dealt with people who have voiced the latter, i.e. their superior parenting or natural parenting ability is the reason their baby started sleeping 12 hours a night every night without fail from 2 months old, and wanted to punch them).
"Within the range of developmentally normal children, some parents have a much, much harder job than others."
As the parent of a child who was a terrible sleeper and incredibly fuusy baby, this is really helpful to keep in mind but also for those with 'easy' babies, sleepers or whatever also useful as your experiences and advice may be completely irrelevant and unhelpful for those having a difficult time. More often than not it comes down to differences in temperament not parenting ability or effort. I've dealt with people who have voiced the latter, i.e. their superior parenting or natural parenting ability is the reason their baby started sleeping 12 hours a night every night without fail from 2 months old, and wanted to punch them).
I read this article yesterday. As a pediatrician I totally agreed with it and was like "oh yeah, I've known this forever!", but as a soon-to-be first time mom I had a minor panic attack and started considering what sacrifices I need to make to the Gods to have this work out in my favor. It's funny how becoming a parent changes my perspective on articles I read about child health and development!
csat and origamimommy I also like this article I read a while back from Scary Mommy about "trick babies." Don't brag about your sleeping baby and don't tell me that it's just about having a routine. We had a routine when DS was a baby. The routine was that he always cried no matter what we did!
frecklesnbrains I've read a ton of articles about child development and temperament in my line of work too. I always wonder why I am unable to use the skills I count on every day on other people's kids to tame my own child. Start making your sacrifices to the Gods now! I'm right there with you!
frecklesnbrains, yes I was curious of your perspective! It's a funny thing though as the author pointed out with her own children (e.g. her easy baby grew up to be her 'spirited' child).
With DS's temperament as a baby I thought for sure he would grow into a toddler with boundless energy and be all over the place (as a baby he was never happy being confined -eg car seat, and always had to be bounced or moving), nothing wrong with that it just seemed a natural progression, but as soon as he became mobile he actually completely mellowed out, is a relatively chill preschooler and rule follower almost to a fault. Who knows what is in store for him from this point but temperament is such a weird and fascinating thing.
frecklesnbrains I've read a ton of articles about child development and temperament in my line of work too. I always wonder why I am unable to use the skills I count on every day on other people's kids to tame my own child. Start making your sacrifices to the Gods now! I'm right there with you!
I have been lurking on the Birth Boards where babies are being born. It's giving me all the feels. All the memories of my newborns and the thoughts of how I kinda don't want this one to come too fast, because it will be my last, and that makes me sad:(
It's my last too! I'm hoping I will feel peace at the end of this pregnancy and be able to enjoy the moments without feeling wistful for another pregnancy. I really want that 'my family is complete' feeling.
Post by sandandsea on Mar 16, 2016 12:24:47 GMT -5
I really love hearing about the kids who are harder because it makes me feel normal and like I'm not totally screwing up DS. DS doesn't sleep through the night, he's 4 and has never slept well. My parents think it's our fault for being too easy, parents with good sleepers think we haven't tried the right method, parents with bad sleepers commiserate and realize there is nothing you can do when your child thrives on less than the average amount sleep and hates sleeping, has nightmares, etc.. DS has always been super active, healthy, a great eater, quick learner, athletic, smart, energetic, great helper, etc. so there's no medical need to worry about his lack of sleep and we have tried every method out there to no avail. So, we try to ignore society's "thoughts".
frecklesnbrains , yes I was curious of your perspective! It's a funny thing though as the author pointed out with her own children (e.g. her easy baby grew up to be her 'spirited' child).
With DS's temperament as a baby I thought for sure he would grow into a toddler with boundless energy and be all over the place (as a baby he was never happy being confined -eg car seat, and always had to be bounced or moving), nothing wrong with that it just seemed a natural progression, but as soon as he became mobile he actually completely mellowed out, is a relatively chill preschooler and rule follower almost to a fault. Who knows what is in store for him from this point but temperament is such a weird and fascinating thing.
My mom always said that kids are born with their own unique personality and there's really nothing you can do to change it. I really appreciated hearing that because it's so true.
Any of your singletons hanging out on mostly one side? For the last two to three weeks, he has been doing his acrobatics and kicks on my left side. Neglecting the right.
Post by origamimommy on Mar 16, 2016 12:51:59 GMT -5
csat, yes that's a great article! My DS, like I said, was easy as pie as a baby. We had one rough month. Now, I seriously can't even. I hate that phrase, but that best describes it. My easy baby is most definitely a challenging or "spirited" child. He is literally the best thing ever, but he is also pretty much the worst.
Post by origamimommy on Mar 16, 2016 12:53:02 GMT -5
Andrea, yes, both of my boys hung out on the left, head down, kicking and punching the shit out of my right side, but he's never hanging out over there.
csat and origamimommy I also like this article I read a while back from Scary Mommy about "trick babies." Don't brag about your sleeping baby and don't tell me that it's just about having a routine. We had a routine when DS was a baby. The routine was that he always cried no matter what we did!
Andrea , yes, both of my boys hung out on the left, head down, kicking and punching the shit out of my right side, but he's never hanging out over there.
LOL, ok glad I am not alone. I feel like my poor left side is internally bruised! I am hoping homey decides to flip over and share the love on the right.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Mar 16, 2016 12:59:26 GMT -5
Andrea, yup - all kicks are on the right. I was wondering if it is because I have an anterior placenta though, and maybe it's off to the left a bit and is dampening feeling over there. My bump is lopsided too.
Andrea , yup - all kicks are on the right. I was wondering if it is because I have an anterior placenta though, and maybe it's off to the left a bit and is dampening feeling over there. My bump is lopsided too.
I have a posterior placenta and was able to feel movement all over a few weeks ago. I figured he is starting to settle into his preferred position, and just chilling butt up under my ribs, facing left.
frecklesnbrains , yes I was curious of your perspective! It's a funny thing though as the author pointed out with her own children (e.g. her easy baby grew up to be her 'spirited' child).
With DS's temperament as a baby I thought for sure he would grow into a toddler with boundless energy and be all over the place (as a baby he was never happy being confined -eg car seat, and always had to be bounced or moving), nothing wrong with that it just seemed a natural progression, but as soon as he became mobile he actually completely mellowed out, is a relatively chill preschooler and rule follower almost to a fault. Who knows what is in store for him from this point but temperament is such a weird and fascinating thing.
My mom always said that kids are born with their own unique personality and there's really nothing you can do to change it. I really appreciated hearing that because it's so true.
My mom has been telling me that my whole pregnancy. She always said that she thought she was such a parenting expert until she had my sister.
Any of your singletons hanging out on mostly one side? For the last two to three weeks, he has been doing his acrobatics and kicks on my left side. Neglecting the right.
Baby girl is almost always on the right side. So much so that sometimes my stomach appears lopsided, instead of a perfectly round shape. Sometimes the bump comes out significantly further on the right side than the left. I just started experiencing this in the last week. Then she re-adjusts herself and the bump is symmetrical again.
Neither of my kids are good sleepers and people kept trying to offer advice when DS1 was a baby because their kids slept all night right from when they came home from the hospital, blah blah blah. When DS1 was small I felt like I was an awful parent and I obsessed over trying to find something that would make him sleep better. All he needed was time and I tried to not freak out when DD was small and wouldn't sleep. I also told people she slept fine to avoid unwanted and unnecessary advice.
Question: Anyone experiencing regular Braxton Hicks at this point?
I didn't really feel them with DS1 until the end and they weren't uncomfortable. With DD, I started feel them around 31 weeks and they were somewhat painful. I've been feeling them for the past few weeks, so at around 25 weeks. They are uncomfortable and pretty regular the past couple of weeks.
amiet79, I've been getting Braxton Hicks for a month or so now, but typically not painful. My doc told me as long as I didn't feel more than 4 per hour then it was fine, and to be expected. She also told me to stay hydrated since dehydration can prompt them.
I'm going into this expecting a terrible baby- cries a lot, won't sleep, etc. That way if he really is like that I'll have been expecting it, and if he is a good baby then I'll be pleasantly surprised.
I feel most of the kicks on my right side. None are really that strong yet.
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