How/When Do You Plan To Spill the Beans?

[nuggetrn]

The jelly beans that is...

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies?

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out?

What about making it Facebook official?

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!!

[aaar2221]

Mar 16, 2016 12:55:20 GMT -5 nuggetrn said:

The jelly beans that is...

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies?

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out?

What about making it Facebook official?

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!!

I will be watching this thread to steal someones fantastic ideas!!!

[nuggetrn]

I am pretty sure we have decided to tell our families within the next 2 weeks. I want everyone to know ASAP. I had a CP in November and nobody knew about it. I am feeling way more confident in this pregnancy and I know that if we lose it I am not going to be able to do this alone. I want to be excited, and to be excited with the people who love me.

So the way I told DH was by using the closet in the bedroom of our new house that we plan to use for the nursery. It worked out so well that that is how we plan to tell everyone else. And it will be pretty easy and not at all suspicious because people are going to be in and out and looking at all of our rooms and what not anyway... So having them open up the closet and seeing the onesies hanging there will be perfect.

I will share the picture from when I told DH here in a second.

[nuggetrn]

Oh I just realized I didn't even answer one of my own questions.

I don't know that I will post anything on facebook. I very rarely post on facebook at all and so it seems weird to me to announce there. I don't know. DH already asked me what I planned on doing (the man doesn't even have a facebook, I don't know why he's thinking about it). I have time to figure that one out.

[nuggetrn]

tgrimes1980, Lol!! "yea, just pregnant" That's too funny

[aaar2221]

Mar 16, 2016 13:13:34 GMT -5 nuggetrn said:

tgrimes1980, Lol!! "yea, just pregnant" That's too funny

This made me giggle too. No big deal, just pregnant. Go back to bed.

[goldenlove3]

Oh gosh.. I didn't do anything cute for H this time. I did something fun last time and things ended badly so this time I just told him. I ended up testing early (6dp5dt/11dpo) and there was a real squinter. I just told him nonchalantly that I tested and I think there's a line there. I tested everyday and the line got darker which made him feel better. I really just needed the ultrasound before it felt real.

For my parents, this will be their first grandchild so I always wanted to surprise them. My mom knows we did IVF and I told her we were delayed on the transfer but I never told her when we finally did it. I wanted to wait a little longer to tell but Easter just works the best. I think I'm going to make an Easter basket and fill it with the "You're going to be Grandparents" onsie and an ultrasound.

For my ILs, I'm not sure yet. I always thought it would be fun to tell my niece a little "secret" and let her tell everyone that she's going to have a new cousin. We'll probably just wing it though.

No idea when I'll announce on FB but I'm definitely going to mention infertility. It might just be something as simple as "We've been waiting 32 months for this..."

[aggiebug]

So I think we are trying to wait until May when we will see out families in the same week. However my parents will be here for a week over Easter and his will be here for 4 days at the end of April annnd I have to not tell my friends I see constantly for 2 months so we shall see if we accomplish that. Honestly I mostly wish we were telling people now but his parents became troublesome last time so I that is the delay.

I haven't thought about how we will tell people. Last time we gave our fathers books about being grandparents on father's day. And I would be OK if we didn't put it on FB but I am guessing H will want to.

[nuggetrn]

goldenlove3 this probably makes me a horrible wife but I didn't tell DH last time til it was all over. I had such faint lines and I was waiting for a nice solid line that I never got (only 2 days). I told him right away this time. Even though my first positive was barely visible. It's so freeing to get to be excited with other people when you are feeling a little nervous. In my experience at least

[cookswithwine9]

When are you telling the world about the baby? I told 2 girlfriends already... I couldn't help myself! We are going to tell our families together on Easter. That is the first time we could get both sides together. Other close friends will be told after the first appointment.

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out? I had an idea to make little Easter baskets for our families and would put one of those plastic eggs that opens in the basket. When they open the egg there would be a message like "Baby X due November 2016". Idk if that's lame or not... Plan B is to just blurt it out lol.

What about making it Facebook official? I will probably announce on Facebook after first tri.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!! He was still asleep when I tested so after I saw the 2nd line appear I went into the bedroom and started tapping him on the chest. He cracked an eye open and said what? I said I think I'm pregnant! I see a line! He said not uh... I love u. And went back to sleep! How can you sleep after that?!

[goldenlove3]

Mar 16, 2016 13:25:16 GMT -5 nuggetrn said:

goldenlove3 this probably makes me a horrible wife but I didn't tell DH last time til it was all over. I had such faint lines and I was waiting for a nice solid line that I never got (only 2 days). I told him right away this time. Even though my first positive was barely visible. It's so freeing to get to be excited with other people when you are feeling a little nervous. In my experience at least

You're not a horrible wife!! Sometimes we have plans and they don't work out unfortunately. It definitely is nice to enjoy it with other people though.

[shedreamsincolor]

Keeping it much lower key this time around given our last pregnancy ended in a loss. My husband knew I was testing that morning so he texted me from work asking "Well?" and I sent back a picture of he positive test. Cue dorky emojis going back and forth for the next 15 minutes I was with my whole family for dinner on Saturday so we told them then. Regardless of how this all ends up I will need support one way or the other. One of my best friends knows (she is also pregnant and due around the same time). Will not tell anyone else until after our loss milestone (16 weeks) if we can help it although that might tricky with work if I'm showing a lot by then. No FB announcement this time- we'll post once baby is here.

[LizInFL]

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies? My mom already knows. I think we are planning to tell my dad (my mom will just have to pretend to be surprised), my ILs and extended family at Easter dinner. After that we'll start telling close friends, etc. I have a pretty big extended family so I'm sure the news will make its way through the grapevine quickly after Easter.

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out? We got DS a special shirt (see other thread) so we'll probably start him in his Easter outfit and then change him into the tshirt once everyone arrives at our house for Easter dinner and the egg hunt.

What about making it Facebook official? I'll probably wait until the A/S when we know the sex and just announce it all at once on FB. That seems to be how most of my STM friends have done it recently.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!! DH knew I was testing (I sent him the day before to buy the tests ) so I just called him on his way in to work and told him. He was super excited and brought home flowers that night.

[kleigh]

When are you telling the world about your baby/babies?

Besides MH, several of my closest family friends already know. I speak very openly about our infertility because stigmas - they need to go away. So two sisters, my mom, MIL/FIL and two friends know. My mom and sisters have known when all my appts are so it would've been hard to hide from them because they check in with me all the time. Plus these people will be my support God forbid I need it again.


Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out?

Again IF and CP takes some of the fun out but I did enjoy seeing my moms expression, she actually guessed before I told her - she said I looked different my skin was clearer (? Thanks ?). Also ILs don't know about our treatment, do know our struggles - we told MIL in private (right after my mom guessed) and I legit bawled my eyes out with her. She and I aren't usually besties but since she found out she treats me/us so much better.


What about making it Facebook official?

Like goldenlove, if we do FB announcement it most certainly will include an infertility message - it's part of our story and more importantly even if I have one friend whose silently struggling with IF I'd want her to know not to lose hope. I feel like every day I see announcements, baby this and that, and for me personally I've never seen one of my friends struggle.


How you told DH/SO?

Well I kept testing waiting for my trigger shot to fade and it kept getting darker and digis were coming up positive. Finally at 15dpo/16dp trigger I knew it could not be the trigger. That morning MH was in a horrible mood getting ready for work and snapped at me (when I say snap I mean he went from gentle giant to crabby gentle giant) for something. I jokingly said "ok, well is that anyway to treat the woman carrying your child".. He was all "what?!" "no way!!" "you're lying"... I said "so now you're calling her a liar too." We both cried for a few and then decided to put our emotions in check until we knew we were good.

[peanutmuse]

We have told both our families and some of our close friends. We tell people when we have a loss, so NBD there.

We are going to go truly public after we find out the sex. FB included.

[LizInFL]

danib Wow, I didn't realize your H was out of town while you were going through all this! Bless your heart. I'm sure he has been worried sick. Do y'all have family close by or is your little guy staying with friends?

Sometimes I forget how stuff like this can affect husbands (is that my self-centered side showing?) I was hospitalized during my first pregnancy for about 10 days, at 22 weeks or so. Naturally I was visiting my parents out of town when things went south and my H was halfway across the country; at first we told him he didn't need to come, but after a couple days when we realized I'd be sticking around the hospital for awhile longer he flew out. I think it was really hard on him being away when I was going through all that; he was much more calm/less frantic once he was with me and felt like he could 'help'.

[peanutmuse]

LizInFL, on that topic, my husband is WAY more nervous about this pregnancy than I am. I was in the hospital 9 times before I went in to actually deliver my son. Twice, it was for nearly a week. But to me, it was all worth it and I'm ok going through that again if I have to. I don't care about me. But my husband, he is already making jokes about renting a parking spot at the hospital.

[LizInFL]

peanutmuse Yes, I remember my H making comments during my issues about DS being an only child b/c I was having a hard time and in a ton of pain. It never occurred to me to change our 'family plan' b/c of it, but DH was serious about it b/c he was so scared.

[robinbird]

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies? I'm not sure. Last time I waited until 19 weeks to make the announcement. People who saw me in person (work people) were straight up asking me if I was pregnant. I was pgal and nervous. I'd like to wait until the anatomy scan again, but we're going to FL for vacation next week and we're staying with my dad and step mom. Im not ready to tell them, but he's already asked us what kind of beer and wine we like so I'm not sure how to get out of that. I'll have to tell the in laws when I start showing. We see them much more often now since we have DS. I'll tell my mom when I tell everyone else I guess. 3 other people know. My BFF who is a guy, a girl from work who is also pregnant and also pgal, and a girl I went to babypalooza with.

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out? I'd like to do it a fun way. Maybe a photo announcement with DS in it.

What about making it Facebook official? I'll probably do some sort of photo announcement. Not sure when. Probably around the time of the a/s, but I don't know.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!! I had ordered a cute big brother shirt from etsy, but it was made to order and taking too long. Pgal brain was getting to me, and I decided to tell him the day before my confirmation appointment. I didn't want to wait any longer in case something happened. I wanted him to have time to be excited too, and I knew I'd want his support if something went wrong. I bought a big brother shirt from target and a card, and I had Brody wear the shirt and hand him the card. Nothing too fancy, but I did the just hand him my pee stick like previous times.

[LizInFL]

danib I'm glad your family has been able to pitch in! That's a huge help, I'm sure.

[peanutmuse]

Mar 16, 2016 15:42:59 GMT -5 LizInFL said:

peanutmuse Yes, I remember my H making comments during my issues about DS being an only child b/c I was having a hard time and in a ton of pain. It never occurred to me to change our 'family plan' b/c of it, but DH was serious about it b/c he was so scared.

We live the same life, LizInFL. My husband made comments like that, and I thought he was kidding for a while. He wasn't, not really. But I feel good about it and I reassured him. He seems better now, so far. We'll see what happens when the first crisis pops up. (It will -- I have chronic hypertension, diagnosed 13 years ago, and a history of kidney stones. Both things got bad during pregnancy, and both my OB and urologist believe it's unlikely that I will escape the same fate this time around.)

[ladytags]

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies?

My ILs already know - we told them last weekend when we were out to dinner together. Since my mom is flying up on Friday to spend some time with us, we're telling her in person on Friday. I got a "Big Brother" shirt for DS to wear when we pick her up from the airport, so we'll see how long it takes for her to notice. We'll probably tell close friends and the rest of the family after our first appointment in a few weeks.

What about making it Facebook official?

I haven't decided yet if I want to announce anything on Facebook this time around, or just wait until the baby is born. If I do announce, it'll be after the anatomy scan when we know the sex.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!!

I told my H last Friday while he was still in bed, still asleep. I had tested at 5am when I got up to pee, so I got back into bed and told him "We have a good news/bad news situation here...bad news is I can't drink margaritas when we go out for celebratory Mexican food tomorrow night." He immediately flew across the bed, gave me a huge hug, said how excited he is, and then asked if we could go back to bed for an hour.

[blondie]

Close family and friends know already. I will make it fb official after we hear the heart beat.

[LizInFL]

I'm sorry you had such a rough pregnancy peanutmuse . I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that maybe your body will surprise everyone this time around and the issues won't be exacerbated by your pregnancy as much.

Overall my pregnancy was pretty smooth/easy except for the blip I mentioned earlier. I was just a weird one-in-a-million case. Apparently I have about a 50/50 shot at not experiencing it again, but at least now we know what helped alleviate it (good drugs and physical therapy), and and my parents live here so we have help if needed. I'm just staying hopeful, and I know it's worth it in the end! 

DH hasn't said anything about it yet, I think he is trying to be optimistic for my sake.

[calindi]

I blurted it out to DH.

I made this shirt for DS and we had him wear it while Facetiming with my parents and then with my brother and future SIL (they all know we were cycling so I can't really keep it secret for long. And don't want to anyway.)



My Mom figured it out immediately and her reaction cued my Dad in. And then my brother and FSIL were hilariously obtuse - took a lot of very strong hints for them to figure it out, but then they got very very excited. FSIL has no siblings, and it's just my brother and me, so this is the extend of them being Aunt and Uncle.

We will tell DH's family whenever he feels ready. Probably after the ultrasound on April 4th.

I told several friends, mostly just by text or FB message.

We will tell my Dad's family (my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) at a BBQ my Mom and Dad are hosting for us when DS and I go up to visit on April 22nd. I may tell my other grandparents via FaceTime soon - my Grandpa is going through radiation for prostate cancer so it might perk him up a bit.

[hangry]

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies? We'll be telling my family at Easter, when we see them in person and after hearing the heartbeat. Because we told my parents first last time, I told my H we could call his parents before we went to go see my family. He's not that close with his family so he doesn't seem to care that much. I'll tell a couple friends after that and then hold out with work people as long as I can.

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out? Probably just blurt it out My parents and sisters know about my loss and know we were cleared to try again so will be hopeful for an annoucent.

What about making it Facebook official? Won't do anything fancy this time, but will definitely make some annoucement at some point.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!! Ha, he knew I was going to test and asked me when I got back to bed. I said I think I saw a line and had him go look. He said maybe? It was anticlimactic until I tested again 2 days later. He immediately got excited and began telling DS all about how there was a baby in mommy's belly.

[bepandnick]

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies?
A couple of friends know already, but we won't tell family until after my first appointment at the end of April.

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out?
We'll be with my family the weekend after my first appointment and will have DS in his big brother shirt and see how long it takes them to notice. After that we'll start telling friends and extended family. Then work.

What about making it Facebook official?
DH made a cute announcement last time, so I imagine we'll do something similar this time too.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!!
I just showed him the pee sticks. I didn't turn a test until 16 DPO, so I completely thought we were out. I was so shocked it was positive that I just shoved it in his face.

[dashook]

Huge hugs to all the loss moms. Praying so hard for all of these new little beans to stick!

When are you telling the world about the baby/ies?
We are probably going to tell all 4 of our parents in about 2 weeks. My parents will be here visiting (H's parents live right down the street) so we figure we can tell them all together. Siblings we will probably tell at the end of April, once we've had at least one ultrasound. Very close friends will know shortly thereafter, general public not until 2nd tri.

Work is trickier; I just started there last August and it's a very male-dominated firm, so I think I am going to try to keep it to myself there until I can no longer possibly hide it.

I also am fortunate enough to have three living grandparents; I will probably tell my dad's parents (by Skype since they live abroad) around the same time as the parents, but my mom's mom won't know til much later; she lost that privilege after she went and told all my uncles and cousins when I was pregnant with DS even though we had asked her not to tell anyone else yet.

Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out?
For the parents, grandparents, and siblings I thought it might be fun to just do the tried-and-true Big Brother onesie for DS. Everyone else we'll just kind of blurt haha

What about making it Facebook official??
This is not something we are going to do. It's not really our style. Plus, it was painful for me to see announcements when we were struggling and I don't want to do that to anyone else. We don't have a real IF story to tell either that could inspire people like some other PPs mentioned.

Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!!
With DS it was super-clinical because he knew I had gotten blood drawn that morning so when I called him it was obvious why. So I wanted to do something cuter this time. I thought I would pick up a bottle of sparkling cider for us to share when we got home that night but turned out he had to stay at work late, and I didn't want to wait an extra day. So I just showed him the picture of the peestick on my phone lol. And I did that just as DS was waking up and beginning to cry in the other room so it was kind of poetic.

[rory5280]

So many cute ideas!!


When are you telling the world about the baby/ies?
 We have already told most of our immediate family and a few close friends.  The extended family and other close friends will probably happen next week after our first ultrasound.  


Are you going to do it in any specific way or just blurt it out?
 We told our immediate family by randomly having our son say that we were going to have a baby.  It wasn't anything super crazy, but it was sweet.  When the moment felt right I would ask him "A, do you remember what mommy and daddy told you the other day?"  And he'd say "that we're going to have a baby"  and then everyone would look at all shocked.  So it was simple but fun.  


What about making it Facebook official?
 Probably after the first trim...maybe do a cute photo or something, I don't know!  


Also if you want to share how you told DH/SO tell us that too!!We have already told our immediate family and a few close friends.  So I had actually thought I started my period the day before I tested.  We were at the zoo and I had ran to restroom and noticed some spotting.  I came out and told my husband "well this month isn't our month" and we went on about our day.  Well that day and the full next day I just continued to have random spotting.  Which is very unlike me.  So at about 6pm the following night, I pee'd on a cheapy one.  I wasn't expecting anything, so I looked at it and prepared to throw it away.  But as I was turning away I thought I saw the faintest squinter of a line.  And I lost my mind.  I ran down stairs and showed my husband who said there was no line.  But I just knew.  So I ran out and got a FR, and the line showed up right away and showed it my husband.  We hugged and laughed and then went to bed.  

[ashleysyn]

It's not our baby, so this time around it's not as much of an issue as it has been in the past.

Most of our close friends and family already know that I'm pregnant. The parents (I'm a surrogate) haven't told anyone yet though, so that will be the exciting part. They know they have a surrogate but not that I'm pregnant yet.

So we'll make it "Facebook official" once they've announced around the end of Apri, because I most definitely do not want to spoil their secret.