~~~~Loss check in 3/28~~~~

[shandorfml2]

Figured it's been a while and seems like people have been struggling lately. Hugs to everyone who needs them...

Welcome to the Loss check-in! This is a board-wide check-in for all of us who have suffered a late term pregnancy or child loss. As this is a board-wide check-in and we are all at different stages in our grief, please remember to post warnings for any subjects related to pregnancy or living children.

I am also so sorry to have to welcome any new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Also if you're ever in need of a check-in and one hasn't been posted recently, feel free to get one started. (You can copy and paste this post if you want).



1. Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?


2. Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?


3. Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?

4. QOTW: Did you do anything for Easter? anything to remember your angel?

[peaseblossom55]

1. Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?
No just working with my therapist


2. Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I feel like the only goal is to get pregnant again. I can't believe it's such a struggle this time around. I really hope this cycle works for our IUI. As strange as it is, if this cycle works, it would give us a due date near what Anne.liese's should have been. As weird as that might be, hoping the pregnancy would be healthy it would feel like the universe correcting itself somehow.


3. Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share? Yesterday my dad got a stuffed animal for Anne.liese for Easter. It moved me to tears, I was so happy he thought of her and bought her something, just as he would his other granddaughters. My dad is the best.



4. QOTW: Did you do anything for Easter? anything to remember your angel? We visited with my family & H's. It was a long day. We did not do anything specific to remember her though.

[iheartbroccoli]

Thanks for the check-in! How are you shandorfml2?

1. Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately? Honestly, I feel like I've taken 2 giant steps back. The past week and a half has been so much harder than I was preparing myself for and I've been feeling a lot of bitterness lately.

My therapy appointment is Wednesday, and next week is my IRL support group. I'm so grateful for these, they're life savers for me. My support group also does a special, intensive navigating grief series for couples whose loss is less than a year past. I'm going to talk to my husband about signing up for it, I know I need it and would like him to be there with me.

2. Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I think my main goal is getting in the best shape I can for the next pregnancy, but also needing to go easy on myself and accepting I can't control everything (which is really hard for me to admit!). We had to cancel our March weekend getaway because it got rained out (years of CA being in a drought, and our weekend away we get some rain! LOL), so we rescheduled it for May and I can't wait!

3. Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share? I really want to be pregnant.

4. QOTW: Did you do anything for Easter? anything to remember your angel? I tried to ignore Easter this year honestly. We went to his grave, and just spent the day at home.

[iheartbroccoli]

peaseblossom55 So many hugs. That was so sweet of your dad, I'm so glad he remembered your daughter. He sounds like a great dad and grandpa.

I hope this cycle works for you. Fingers crossed!

[peaseblossom55]

Mar 28, 2016 16:30:22 GMT -5 iheartbroccoli said:

peaseblossom55 So many hugs. That was so sweet of your dad, I'm so glad he remembered your daughter. He sounds like a great dad and grandpa.

I hope this cycle works for you. Fingers crossed!

He is so amazing.  Thank you.

ETA: I tried to ignore Easter as well, it was hard. So many hugs to you.  I've had some days I feel like I am doing great and others when it feels like it happened yesterday.  I'm glad you have some great support meetings to attend.

[wrenofthesea]

peaseblossom55 I am so happy to hear that your Dad brought something for your daughter for Easter.

iheartbroccoli I am sorry that it feels like you have taken two steps back. Unfortunately that seems to be how it goes. Be kind to yourself and I hope that the IRL support group and your therapy appointment give you some comfort.

1. Have you taken any new steps towards healing lately?
Nothing too much lately. I have been trying to be more open about Lillian and that she was my first daughter, it is tough continually telling others about her but I am getting better about being matter of fact about it which sometimes seems to put others at ease.


2. Have you set any goals for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I need to get back to decorating her tree. Life got busy and then winter wasn't the best time to decorate since we had so many wind and massive rainstorms. I wanted to decorate it for Easter but I wasn't able to get out in time to buy some decorations and I have been berating myself about that. Now I should just decorate it for spring.

3. Rants/Raves/Anything else you want to share?
Lillian's tree has blooms on it and leaves are starting to come in (it is a dogwood). We were a little worried how it would do, sometimes the first year is hard on a transplanted tree and then we were unsure if it would like the soil, be too soggy, or if there was enough sunshine in that patch of lawn- but it seems that everything was just right and the tree is happy. We also planted a lilac at the same time in her memory and that is also doing well and a number of blooms are coming in on it too. It just makes me happy that they are both doing well and thriving.


4. QOTW: Did you do anything for Easter? anything to remember your angel?
We did not do anything for Easter this year. Truthfully it is not a big holiday in my family, H's family is more into it and goes to church and has a big lunch/dinner but we were not with them this year. As I previously mentioned I didn't get to decorating her tree for Easter, but I will for spring.

[peaseblossom55]

Hugs to you wrenofthesea, I'd love to see pictures of the tree once it's decorated. I can understand though if you don't want to share.

[iheartbroccoli]

wrenofthesea The tree sounds like a great tribute to her, is it planted in your yard? I love that you're able to decorate it for her. I'm glad it is doing well after being transplanted.

[wrenofthesea]

peaseblossom55 when I get to decorating the tree I will post a photo- it just might be a while. The tree is planted in our front yard in a spot that not only gets some good sun but also has a good view of the ocean. It is a spot I thought she would have really liked and H and I find it very pleasant to sit and think and be with her.

[peaseblossom55]

Mar 30, 2016 20:21:52 GMT -5 wrenofthesea said:

peaseblossom55 when I get to decorating the tree I will post a photo- it just might be a while. The tree is planted in our front yard in a spot that not only gets some good sun but also has a good view of the ocean. It is a spot I thought she would have really liked and H and I find it very pleasant to sit and think and be with her.

I love that idea, we may need to plant something in our daughter's honor as well.  That is probably a beautiful view, I'd love see a photo whenever it's ready.  

[rslh10]

We planted Kenley's tree yesterday. All this talk of trees I thought I would share a photo. It will be a pink flowering dogwood.

[peaseblossom55]

rslh10, beautiful!

This is inspiring me to want to plant a tree for Anneliese this weekend.

[wrenofthesea]

That is a lovely tree rslh10

[shandorfml2]

Sorry I haven't responded, ***rainbow mentioned** my son has been in the hospital the last few days with RSV. He's OK were just all tired. Being a loss mom makes me so much more paranoid. Plus we're in the same hospital I had my angel in, I saw one of the docs who couldn't find her heartbeat, AND they ask why my son was a c-section and I have to into my loss history...sucks all around.

I have been wanting to plant a tree for Ana. Something that has pink blossoms or a rose bush. We are moving in May and will have plenty of space to plant! I want to have a little Ana garden

[iheartbroccoli]

shandorfml2 I'm so sorry, that sounds so stressful and scary. I'm glad he's ok.

[wrenofthesea]

shandorfml2 I am so sorry to hear your son had to go to the hospital and all the stress you had to experience there in addition to worrying about you little one. I am glad he is OK and I hope continues to get better