Calling All Church Moms...

[duckker]

So, someday maybe I'll get into the million reasons I fell off the face of the Internet, but for now let me just say how very happy I am to be back. In the midst of enjoying catching up I noticed that a bunch of you are fellow Catholics, and boy do I need help/commiserating! The moms I know IRL are all: put her in the nursery. But ya know--Catholics don't tend to do nurseries at church...

Our church is on the small side, and there's no mothers' room or whatnot. It's packed every week, so you have to get there on the early side to be able to sit together. It's also about 45 minutes door to door in the car, so Babygirl (who has been walking for three months and is super active and physical) has already been strapped down for close to an hour by the time we get there. She is ape. shit. in church. It's not even close to manageable. She's fabulous in restaurants, great in the car, good in public places in general, but something about Mass just makes her lose her ever-loving mind. I literally haven't been able to stay through Mass in four months. She goes ballistic about 5-10 minutes into the service and doesn't stop until I take her out. Sometimes we can kick it in the vestibule (she's in love with one of the old man ushers) and I can at least hear what's going on. But most of the time we end up next door in the parish hall or outside because she screams and cries hysterically. 

I have no idea where the starting point even is here. I've tried holding her for the entire time, whether or not we are in the pew, letting her sit on the kneeler and use the pew as a table/bench, etc. She just goes buck wild and wants to run around/scream.

Halp!

[danitaec]

I'm not Catholic, but I can commiserate on the buck wild church baby. He went to the nursery for the first time Sunday, and I hated it. Plus one of the little old ladies' perfume made him all blotchy. I don't know what the solution is, but know you're not alone!

[tortor4]

So probably a silly question but have you tried snacks or quiet toys?

[duckker]

Mar 28, 2016 19:55:49 GMT -5 danitaec said:

I'm not Catholic, but I can commiserate on the buck wild church baby. He went to the nursery for the first time Sunday, and I hated it. Plus one of the little old ladies' perfume made him all blotchy. I don't know what the solution is, but know you're not alone!

Totally hope that didn't come off exclusionary (mostly just Catholics tend to keep their LOs in Mass so I was thinking maybe I missed the day that they handed out some tricks)--and thank you for the company!

[dmorgendorffer]

Mar 28, 2016 19:55:50 GMT -5 tortor4 said:

So probably a silly question but have you tried snacks or quiet toys?

This.  

I keep DD busy with board books (feel the fuzzy animals or lift the flaps) and when she really starts to fuss we go to Cheerios.  

[duckker]

Mar 28, 2016 19:55:50 GMT -5 tortor4 said:

So probably a silly question but have you tried snacks or quiet toys?

Not a silly question--I brought Cheerios a couple of weeks ago and then was so flustered that I forgot I had them. I'm planning to gear up for this coming Sunday. She doesn't really play quietly or in one place even at home, so I'm not holding out too much hope. But maybe I can distract her for a while. 

I'm also thinking we could get there a little earlier and let her run off some energy in the courtyard, but DH is an ass-dragger on Sunday mornings, so that is unlikely.

[dreemkin]

First of all you go and you're there. That's a huge thumbs up in my book. Yes, you or your toddler might not be getting a whole lot out of the mass (for the time being) but it'll mean a lot to your LO in the end! You're doing a great job. Second of all, my 2nd DD is also rambunctious and (I'm catholic so) no nursery and I hate our cry room bc for reasons I'll never understand old people sit in there. It's stuffy and hard to hear mass. We sit in the back few rows so one of us can leave with the brute. And I have to admit that we haven't been going to church as much since this one came along. She's fussy.

So sorry no other advice except to have lots of distractions. It's hard that you're already coming in with her sitting for so long in the car. Getting there early and letting her run around or going to a later mass sounds like a good solution if you can do it!

[lilyelayne]

I'm with dreemkin - give yourself props for getting there!

We go to the early service, so no music, but that also means a shorter mass. Lift the flap books & straw cup of water are our go-tos. Cheerios in a snack cup got us through the longer (and during a typical snack or nursing session time) Easter mass.

Letting her run around beforehand would be helpful. DS likes to stand up in the pew and wave at everyone. Thankfully they all like to wave back.

[lilyelayne]

I dunno if it would help or hurt, but could you go not during mass and let her explore the sanctuary?

[kartish]

Our church has a nursery, but no caretakers, so basically you play with your kids and listen to the service over the speaker, and a family room in the back of the sanctuary, with door that can be shut and a speaker. I bring toys, books and sippy cups. However, V would much prefer to run up and down the aisle, or climb stairs up to the choir loft. Or play with the doors. And if we sit in a pew he crawls underneath and bangs his head on the pews and screams.
So we don't go very often. Back before he walked he was a dream at church, for the most part. But I still love taking him up to get blessed at communion and taking him up for the children's sermon. And I'm sure it will get better soon.

[kaydee0402]

Catholic here

We bring snacks with us to church, typically Goldfish in a a snack cup. We also bring a sippy cup or milk or water. And of course, toys. Whenever, DS gets a little fussy, I'll pick him up and show him everything that's going on in church.

But at the end of the day, he's a toddler and asking him to sit still and be quiet for an hour just isn't going to happen. Luckily, our church is very family friendly. We sit at the very back if we have to make a quick escape and let him run the hall for a minute or two. But no one minds and I take comfort in the fact that my kid isn't the only one acting crazy

We are trying to teach DS quiet time, so anytime he tries to talk when it's supposed to be quiet, we'll sush him and tell him that it's quiet time. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's all a learning process. But at least you're being proactive and trying. Keep up the good work mama!

[seamonster]

Not Catholic, but the church I go to doesn't have a nursery either. There is a row in the very back for wheelchairs or walkers or strollers or whatever that can't make it further up. We sit back there so DS can crawl around and cruise to his heart's content and we do books and toys and snacks back there. There's also the fellowship hall off the side of the sanctuary that we can go into.

I think most people are pretty tolerant of young children in church. Distractions to keep you awake during the sermon.