Traveling long distance and a funeral

[numbbears]

My BIL passed away this morning. His funeral is going to be about 12 hours away and we'd be driving. I'd like us to be able to go, but I'm not sure how this is going to work with DS. The longest he's been in the car within the last six months has been an hour and a half. He slept most of that time. I'm not counting on him sleeping the entire 12 hours. I know we'll have to stop pretty frequently with him and let him stretch, but I think that might actually make it harder to get him back into the car seat. He'll play with a few toys and Sago Mini apps for a few minutes, but that's about it. Any other tips on keeping him calm in the car the rest of the time? Is it even a good idea to take him to a funeral or would arranging child care be a better option? He won't understand what's going on, but I'm thinking about him disrupting the services.

DS: Age 2, ASD with GDD

[jmski]

How about a portable DVD player for the car? Sounds like a necessity in this situation. IPod with music?

[numbbears]

We tried a dvd player last summer and it was a bust. But maybe now that he's a little older, it'd be worth a shot again. The ipod might work pretty well. He does like music.

[funchicken]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Honestly, if there's a way that you can go without him, that would probably be much easier. I have to go to a funeral this weekend, and I have to bring DD3 because she's still nursing, but DD1 and DD2 are staying home with my husband.

[spooko]

If he likes music and you go the DVD route, I'd focus on music DVDs. Sesame Street 25th musical celebration, veggie tales silly songs, and the wiggles were all favs at that 2 yo age where the kids aren't quite into the storyline yet.

Eta Laurie Berkner DVDs too.

[anintrovert]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

We made 16 hour drives at 6 months, 18 months and 3. We stopped and spent the night at a hotel for the first two but drove straight through both ways at 3. At those ages I mostly sat in the back with him talking to him, playing and giving him lots of snacks. Over all he's always been a pretty good traveler though. He's always liked drives and his carseat. It's even easier now that he's older. I'd think downloading some new music along with the familiar music and lots of snacks will go a long way.

As for actually attending the funeral. If you have someone to watch him I'd take them up on it. However my DS attended a funeral around that age. I sat on the end with a clear exit but I didn't need to use it.

[mrsbuttinski]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Can you get a sitter at home and travel without him? I did that when DH's mom died- I needed to be available for DH and his family. My mom actually skipped her own sister's funeral to watch DS.

Otherwise, I'd suggest making the drive overnight if you can. We made part of our drives Indy to Philly in the wee hours.

[BostonKisses]

Feb 4, 2015 22:21:13 GMT -5 mrsbuttinski said:

I'm sorry for your loss.

Can you get a sitter at home and travel without him? I did that when DH's mom died- I needed to be available for DH and his family. My mom actually skipped her own sister's funeral to watch DS.

Otherwise, I'd suggest making the drive overnight if you can. We made part of our drives Indy to Philly in the wee hours.

I agree with the bolded.  If it's possible, go this route so your odds of LO sleeping the majority if not all of the trip are greatly increased.

[cam]

Sorry for your loss.

With my LO, we would need to make a trip like that either overnight or at least partially. If he sleeps during the day, he will be up all night and all out of whack, just a snowballing mess. For awake time, he would need a long break or breaks. A 15 minute stretch and move break will not cut it and will just make him angrier. He isn't a sit still type.

For the funeral, he would be on the move and also wouldn't want strangers talking to him, so one person would need to be dedicated to him. Also, funerals for a younger person are often much longer (at least around here), with visitation lasting well beyond the end time by the time the last of the line gets through, so it could make for a very long day if you would need to be there all or most of the time. I would bring someone along to keep LO if he needed to come along or I would leave LO at home if that would work best. Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

[Deleted]

If it is possible for you, I would consider making the trip at night. Pack up an hour or so before normal bedtime and drive through the night. Recline your DS as much as safely possible in his carseat to best facilitate his ability to sleep. Trade off every 3ish hours with your DH to make it safer for you both to make the trip.

[numbbears]

Thank you all for the advice. We were going to try to leave tonight, but DS has been sick all morning so we're going to stay at home. But I'll be sure to use this the next time we're looking at going out of town.