Stay At Home Parenting Check-in

[Bluedaisy]

Hey Ladies,

How's it going for you? Any rants, vents or questions? Any brags?

Things are ok for me, thank god it's getting nicer.  We're able to get out of the house more and use the stroller which is helping. 

DH is almost done teaching for the year which is great because he will be home more but I'm kind of worried about how it will change our routines.

One question: This is mostly geared to ladies with more than one baby, but also to those of you with just one.  Any good tricks for keeping up with housework now that LOs are more mobile? Do you wear them, clean while they nap, after they go to bed? Or is there something obvious I'm missing?

[sugarkissed]

Things are going well. DD1 was gone with my mom for the past week so life with just one LO felt like a breeze! We were out and about, going on coffee dates, walks, etc and everything felt so easy because I'm so used to having 2. The weather has been amazing too so that has certainly helped. It was fun, but man I missed my crazy toddler.

I do most of my cleaning during naps or after bed time. That being said, I really struggle to keep up and DH is really not much help at all...

[Bluedaisy]

Joolschweets, we have that exact same play yard and I love it!

[hannahl201477]

We go out and about a lot, but I'll be glad when it gets warm and stays warm. I'm ready to do more outside activities.

I struggle with housework and I only have one LO. I hate cleaning as it is, I would love to hire someone every other week.

[periwinkledaydreams]

LO is in a pack-n-play or high chair now when I'm trying to get my ish done.. I feel like I am struggling all the time now that she's into everything. Its not so much housework for me as it is phonecalls and other business that needs to be tended to. My house is suffering because I definitely put cleaning it dead last on a long list of things to get done during the day. I pick up behind us as we go and throw in a load of laundry every day but it never gets folded or put away lol. Same with dinner/dishes.. I'm usually struggling to even get it made in the evening that by the time I clean up the prep I say eff the rest of the dishes and leave them to wash up the next morning. I'd rather use my evening to sip a drink while I finish up my paperwork or whatever.

[txngrl31]

It's been going good, but I'm returning back to work in a month like Joolschweets,.

I do a lot of work when she is asleep or playing on her mat. I have to time our errands just right- between naps and feedings. I've found myself, recently, ready to go back to work, like I'm not cut out to stay at home, and then crying because I'm going back to work and I might miss something hahaha. I do consider myself lucky to have gotten a year at home with her. Returning back to work...mainly getting my dream job...has been my choice,

[wegrowsheep]

I'm surviving. I get pretty busy with the farm from now until October, so I do chores around the house with a) baby on the hip, b) baby in the frontpack, c) baby asleep, or d) baby entertained by older kids.
At the farm he goes in a stroller, on me, or on the ground. We just accept that he's gonna get dirty.

That said, I've been awake and cleaning house til past midnight for most of the last 2 weeks.

[txngrl31]

Joolschweets, good to know that I'm not alone with my feelings! She starts tomorrow! How about your son?

[Bluedaisy]

I don't go back to work until August/September but I'm already at the "ready to go back/ but don't want to miss anything" stage. I feel like routines are off this year and we're just treading water waiting to go back so I'm looking forward to that but not looking forward to not being with LO all the time.

Hugs @jemomma,! You are my hero! So much going on and you seem to juggle them all so well. wegrowsheep, you're my other hero on the board!

I think I may invest in a roomba for the fall when everyone is at work and daycare.

[tiffbot]

Things are going well. Busy busy. The older they get the crazier things get haha, but we just went through a rough patch ourselves and things are getting better again, now that the weather is changing there's less cabin fever for us all. Well, DD isn't sleeping again, but judging by the food she's pounding back she's in the midst of a growth spurt.

I got myself on a volunteer event committee for a specific night in town and that's been nice going to meetings and organizing my areas. It's the perfect amount for me of having an adult only outlet while also being able to completely focus on everything I need to at home.

Cleaning kind of just happens when it happens. Haha. Sometimes when H gets home we get a bunch done, somedays I and the kids are all in the zone and I do as much as I can first thing in the morning, but mostly it's just an all day puttering around.

[hannahl201477]

I always thought staying home was going to be so easy and great. My mom stayed home my whole life, so that's all I have ever known. I love staying home with Mal and being able to see all his firsts. But as I said above I hate cleaning, so now if our house is a wreck I feel so awful since I am home. I feel like if I went back to work maybe DH would help around the house more and not expect me to do everything.

[Bluedaisy]

hannahl201477, I know the feeling, I don't mind cleaning but DH talks about how dads can't assume that stay at home mom's will do all the cleaning. HE hasn't cleaned anything at all since I've been off. I don't complain since he does a lot of the cooking but the weeks that we are eating leftovers, I'm cooking or we're eating out, etc. I'd like him to pitch in with the cleaning a bit more. I think it's just that his standards for cleanliness are WAY lower than mine.

[Bluedaisy]

tiffbot, I'm glad you found a great way to get out. I keep meaning to sign up for a cake decorating class again but it hasn't happened yet.

[Bluedaisy]

@jemomma, I feel like you should end that post with the gif of the Minion doing the mic drop. It's such a good point, I know it's something I struggle with.

[Bluedaisy]

@jemomma now I'm sad that I can't like it again lol!

[purple]

Apr 2, 2016 11:09:58 GMT -5 Bluedaisy said:

Hey Ladies,

How's it going for you? Any rants, vents or questions? Any brags?

Things are ok for me, thank god it's getting nicer.  We're able to get out of the house more and use the stroller which is helping. 

DH is almost done teaching for the year which is great because he will be home more but I'm kind of worried about how it will change our routines.

One question: This is mostly geared to ladies with more than one baby, but also to those of you with just one.  Any good tricks for keeping up with housework now that LOs are more mobile? Do you wear them, clean while they nap, after they go to bed? Or is there something obvious I'm missing?

It's not too bad. L seems to be sleeping better at last, so H and I both have more energy, which is helping. Definitely no brags!

I'm not looking forward to this week much because there are no classes, and it's forecast to be wet all week which makes things worse, but the three weeks after that will all be short weeks for H working, so that's something to look forward to!

As for housework, I don't really get it done. There is nowhere in our house that is big enough for the sort of arrangement Joolschweets shows, and anyway L is still pretty clingy and cries when she can't see me unless she's with Daddy or Granny. My mum plays with her for an hour three or four days a week and until a couple of weeks ago I used that time for chores. But I was getting overwhelmed, so after a talk with H I now hide upstairs with a book. L isn't very good at napping in the cot. Sometimes I manage to put her down but she doesn't sleep for nearly as long as if she's on me. So that doesn't give me chore time either!

We're beginning to work on leaving her at Granny's house and hoping to build up to three hours twice a week. By that time, hopefully there'll be a sibling on the way, in which case having stretches of one to one time with the new baby will be great (and if I'm pregnant, extra sleep will be essential). If L is still the only one I'll use that time to work on my business, which is currently on hold.

H is very much of the opinion that childcare is a full time job, and that expecting me to do all the housework and meal prep as well would be completely unreasonable. So I cook when I can, because we don't have any spare time between him getting home at six and the start of bedtime at seven, and the rest of the chores happen in the evenings and at weekends.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Apr 3, 2016 10:51:25 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

Apr 3, 2016 10:41:27 GMT -5 hannahl201477 said:

I always thought staying home was going to be so easy and great. My mom stayed home my whole life, so that's all I have ever known. I love staying home with Mal and being able to see all his firsts. But as I said above I hate cleaning, so now if our house is a wreck I feel so awful since I am home. I feel like if I went back to work maybe DH would help around the house more and not expect me to do everything.

. Staying home is not about having a clean house, it's about spending time with your kid (s). If cleaning happens, then it happens and if not then don't sweat it. The most important thing is raising a happy kid and enjoying moments with him/her. There is no award for having the cleanest house. It's not what being a SAHM is about, so don't make yourself feel guilty over it.
For Bluedaisy

Can we remind each other of this, often?! I love you for your perspective and the way you put it out there. Thanks!

This is a part of what is my biggest struggle being home right now. I love being able to just be with Jazz and being the one to work and play with her every day etc. I just also have this constant battle trying to get all of my other non-house non-baby crap taken care of, I feel like it takes away from my ability to focus on her and also from my time to get "regular" shit done. If I hadn't been hurt at work before LO, I would have theoretically gone straight back to work after a short maternity leave, although of course who can say "what if". There is zero part of me that wants to be a "housewife". I don't want to cook and clean house as my "job" and be the one to do all that, and I feel like this role just fell on me because I got hurt and got "stuck" at home. If I am home, I want my JOB to be taking care of LO and to share in the rest. I get that it makes sense for me to be doing it because I'm home though, I just feel like I didn't get to chose it but rather just have to do it because circumstances.

So, I'm thankful every day to be able to be with J, but in reality I want to be at work out of the house and sharing equally in the household responsibilities. I feel like this past year and a half so much of my self has fallen away and I need to find myself again somewhere, and I think a big part of that will be getting a "out of the house" job.

Sorry for that rant yall. I think I really needed to write it out somewhere to gt it out of my head.

[Bluedaisy]

purple, I'm so glad your mum is going to be able to help out so that you can get some time to yourself!

[Bluedaisy]

periwinkledaydreams, I always thought that if it wasn't for economic reasons I would want to stay home permanently but being home this year really made me change my mind. I mean I'm THRILLED that I get to spend 14 months with baby but I am starting to miss my job. I didn't think I would.

I hope things work out for you soon so that you aren't juggling all this extra stuff.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Thanks @jemomma Bluedaisy

Things should settle down a bit soon, I think. At least with one aspect of my comp case and I can move forward with my "real" life a bit. Ever just have a really shitty period of time you start referring to the whole damn thing as not your real life? It will be a major raincloud lifted when this case comes to a close, almost without regard to its outcome.

Thanks for all the support

[Bluedaisy]

periwinkledaydreams, that's a great way to look at it! Comp cases can be such a nightmare, my mom was involved in one when I was a kid and I know it was pretty stressful for her.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Bluedaisy nightmare is the word, for sure. Seamingly endless cyclical nightmare on repeat! Better days are somewhere, certainly!

[purple]

periwinkledaydreams, sorry you're having such a difficult time. I hope that you get some respite and find a job soon.

I know that looking after my child(ren) is the right thing for me to do until they're at school, but it isn't easy. Health problems don't help either - speaking as someone who is currently undergoing treatment for three separate issues and investigations for three more! I can't imagine how awful it would feel to be stuck being a SAHM if it wasn't by choice.

[purple]

@jemomma, I meant to thank you for your wise words in my last post. So many people seem to have such high expectations of SAHP. When the kids are young, they are a full time job and should be recognised as such.

[periwinkledaydreams]

Thanks purple. Yes, the health issues are constant here as well. I have a few under investigation and several being treated or attempting to be treated at least. I'm sorry you're also struggling with your health, it is so stressful to care for a baby and not be well yourself. I hope that you find the answers to whatever is still unresolved,and ideally that some of them are abated and you feel better!

[purple]

Apr 4, 2016 11:46:34 GMT -5 periwinkledaydreams said:

Thanks purple. Yes, the health issues are constant here as well. I have a few under investigation and several being treated or attempting to be treated at least. I'm sorry you're also struggling with your health, it is so stressful to care for a baby and not be well yourself. I hope that you find the answers to whatever is still unresolved,and ideally that some of them are abated and you feel better!

Thanks. I hope you get some answers and some resolution, too!