GKU IF informal check-in 4/4

[cateyes]

This check-in is meant for anyone on GKU who has hit the 1 year mark of TTC (6 months if you’re over 35), has an infertility diagnosis, or is going through IF testing/treatment. It is meant to be a place for people to share and ask any questions who might not participate on 3T/IF and who would like the company of others going through the same experiences.





If you would like to participate, please send cateyes a PRIVATE MESSAGE or TAG her with your info and she will add you on. This will be posted every Monday. If you have any suggestions or would like something added, please feel free to post.







QOTW: GTKY-what do you do for work (and yes being a SAHM/SAHW is a job!!!)  and is it what you thought you would be doing? 





FYI-I am going to post an updated list next week for everyone as some people have asked for that to help keep track of what treatments are going on! But for today it is just informal because I forgot this morning!!!!  

[cateyes]

I am just hanging out at 8 DPO of our last IUI cycle (IUI #6, injects #3). We had a perfect IUI with 2 eggs and H's numbers were the highest they have ever been. It is surreal to know that if this fails, we are done. No more doctors, no more 6am appointments, no more shots or meds. We are just done actively trying and will move on to likely embracing CLNBC unless we win the lottery or some other miracle. I am also terrified to test because that BFN would mean so much more than the normal cycle fail. I feel like I could live without knowing for months if I didn't need things like meds or medical care. Anyways, I am in a weird spot. Testing Saturday.

QOTW-I am a social worker for CPS and it is what I thought in some aspects. But mainly we try and offer help and services to families to help them keep their kids safe and well. Some days it is just paperwork.

[ironbaby]

Tiptoeing in. We had our first RE appointment this morning and it went really well. The doctor seems really nice and spent over 30 minutes just talking to us and explaining things. We will start testing for me when I get my period, and once I confirm O for this natural cycle, we'll schedule H's SA.

QOTW: GTKY- I work at an investment firm. I never imagined this is what I'd end up doing, but the hours are nice.

[peaseblossom55]

Today is CD1, yay finally. I am going in on Wednesday for baseline blood work & u/s. If all looks ok I should start stims for this IUI cycle. I really hope this works.

GTKY: I work in compliance supervision for a bank/investment firm. I wanted to be a actress/dancer on Broadway.

[thelittleredm]

Just waiting for this cycle to be over. I peed on a stick at10DPO and didn't pay attention to the fact that it was a digital and got a BFN. I'd like to move on to cycle 15. Meh.

cateyes, I have everything crossed for you. I really hope this is it for you, especially with all the good things happening for you.
ironbaby, Glad to hear your appointment went well!
peaseblossom55, FX all goes well

ETA: QOTW: I work at a car dealership in customer service. It's super boring.

[easilyunamused]

cateyes, I have everything crossed for you. Stay strong!

ironbaby, I'm sorry to see you here, but it's a great group of ladies to be with. Good luck with testing. I was excited to get that started too earlier this year.

peaseblossom55, I hope this IUI cycle works well for you.

I'm just hanging out dpo3, and kind of bummed I only did an IUI the day before ovulating. It sucks that both MH and I have jobs that we'd have to take the entire day off to go in for an IUI. Progesterone started today as well.

I always forget the QOTW: I'm a mail carrier. If I ever do get a take home baby, I'll stay at home.

[ironbaby]

cateyes, I have everything crossed for you. I want this for you so badly.

peaseblossom55, FX for you!! I really hope the IUI is the solution for you.

thelittleredm, I refuse to buy digis until I turn an FRER. I hope your next cycle can start soon.

easilyunamused, I'm sorry you had scheduling issues. Thanks for the warm welcome!

[butlerfan]

FX cateyes!
Sorry you are here ironbaby
GL peaseblossom55

thelittleredm ugh that sucks
easilyunamused work and IF sucks

QOTW: because I always forget to answer when I update....

I am admin assistant/HR assistant. My degree is in accounting but due to ex boss being an A**hole I'm not in the field at the moment. I like what I do but do miss accounting as well.

[peaseblossom55]

I really hoping this is it for you cateyes!
ironbaby, welcome glad the appointment went well.
thelittleredm, Ughh sorry for the BFN, hopefully you can move on soon.
easilyunamused, Sorry the timing for the IUI wasn't the best, I hope it works out for you though!

[Rama]

I've been a bad IFer and haven't posted in here in a long while. But I promise I love and wish the best for you all always. cateyes, I want nothing more than for this to be your miracle. I can't imagine how hard it might be for you to be at this part of your journey.

AFM: Probably going to have to give up and get some Provera in the next week or two. I'm CDlate40s atm, I think. 49? It's hard to keep track anymore. MrRama started his new job today and it seems to be going well, so hopefully by this summer, when a new routine is established, we'll be able to start treatments again. It worked for us once, it should work again, right?

QOTW: What do you do for work (and yes being a SAHM/SAHW is a job!!!) and is it what you thought you would be doing? I'm the Accounting Assistant for a local community college (so actual college administration, not business classes!) and it's kind of what I thought I would be doing? I haven't really had any serious aspirations or passions in my life, so my only stipulation to feeling adulty is having a set schedule and benefits. I'm a simple girl, haha.

[hydrangea1019]

This is my first time in here. Hi everyone.

cateyes I really hope this is your cycle!! FX FX FX!
ironbaby GL in the testing process, glad you felt good leaving your appt.
@peaseblossom FX it all goes smoothly!

DH and I have finished testing with an RE. During my HSG he found a polyp, so now i have a consult with my obgyn about seeing if she is willing to assist with the removal so insurance can pay, as RE is all OOP. My appt with my obgyn is tomorrow.

Right now I'm current 6dpo(-ish... Didn't temp this cycle. All based on OPKs)

QOTW: I work for an agency that assists people with disabilities. I love what I do, but didn't see myself here growing up. So happy I'm here now though

[butlerfan]

Tomorrow is the start of our trauma training for foster care as I mentioned in today's randoms. While not required (yet) I feel that it will help us if/when a child tells us about abuse they have witnessed/experienced. Paperwork has been turned in so background checks can be done. Then interviews and home study. I hope this process to be licensed goes as smoothly as possible.

Talked to my best friend and told her about IF and fostering and she is supportive, had questions, etc

Also, have a doctor's appointment on 4/22/16 to address the perimenopause symptoms that I have been having. By the time I have the appointment it will be just shy of 6 months since my last menstrual cycle. While I like not having the period it's not for the reason I would like it to be.

****Trigger warning****

I had a dream the other night that I woke up one morning in July and tested positive and I stared at the positive test and started laughing hysterically because I couldn't believe it. I went in and it was confirmed and I had a due date in March and they would have been conceived around our anniversary. When I woke up I didn't cry but was shocked that I had that dream.

I'm not sure why I had it or if because of talking to my best friend that it triggered it or what but I'm shocked in someways that I didn't wake up crying either.

****End trigger*****

[kawaiikitsune]

cateyes Thank you for starting. I am praying so hard and crossing everything imaginable that this is your cycle!!!
ironbaby Glad your first RE appointment went well and that you like your doc. FX for easy testing and good results!
peaseblossom55 GL starting stims!
thelittleredm FX for CD1 soon so you can move onto your next cycle.
easilyunamused Super bummer you could only do one IUI. FX this is the one!
Rama Yay for MrRama starting a new job. Hope he continues to enjoy it and you are able to get a routine going soon.

AFM, still the perpetual waiting. If I haven't heard from my RE by Thursday, I will give them a call. I already know that it is unlikely my old RE followed through but I'd like to know for sure. CD13 and I am half-assing temping and sexing. We are just so stressed about this whole situation that it is really killing any and all incentive.

QOTW - I am a SAHW and honestly, this is kind of where I saw myself. I enjoy keeping the apartment clean and making sure my husband is taken care of. It's very 1950's but it makes me feel fulfilled.

[notagoddess]

cateyes , I hope this last cycle gives you your rainbow. Do you have a date you plan on testing, or is it wait and see?

ironbaby , I'm glad you like your RE. Mine is kinda an arrogant douche. But as long as he gets me pregnant...

peaseblossom55 , the IUI sounds so very promising! Best of luck!

thelittleredm , sorry for the BFN.

easilyunamused , sorry about the timing of the IUI. But didn't snacks do an IUI the day before ovulation, and that worked out pretty well? There's still hope!

AFM, I did my HSG this morning and my tubes are clear. There was no evidence of scarring, but they will double check on a better display just in case. My next RE appointment is on the 13th. The tentative plan is to do Clomid + IUI next cycle. My husband has come around and he is willing to go along with the doctor's suggestions. It's a huge weight off of my shoulders and I am so grateful.

I do have a question/concern, though. The RE is suggesting low dose Clomid with no monitoring, and an IUI the day after a positive OPK. He wants to do 3 cycles of that. If that fails, he would do IUI with full monitoring and injectables. I have heard terrible things about unmonitored Clomid, but the RE is saying at this dose the risks are minimal. I can do the monitoring if I want, but it's over $2k per cycle. My insurance sucks and I don't have much savings. If I do 3 rounds of monitored Clomid IUIs, that would be it for me. There would be no money for injectable IUIs. Our TTC journey would come to an end, unless we get a miracle BFP on a natural cycle. So you can see why the unmonitored Clomid is tempting.

Does anyone have any thoughts about this? The RE is a prof at at an Ivy League medical school, and he says this is perfectly safe. Can I trust him? 

ETA: I'm a master's student in higher education. I'm interning in higher ed administration and that's what I hope to find a job in come September.

[kawaiikitsune]

hydrangea1019 Glad your HSG went well but bummer about the polyp. FX your OB is willing to assist with the removal.
butlerfan I hope the process goes smoothly for you & YH
notagoddess Happy to hear your tubes are clear. Personally, even with a low dose of Clomid, I would not feel comfortable.

[ironbaby]

notagoddess, I'm just stalking you. We are in the same situation. Our RE offers the monitoring *optionally* which I of course intended to opt into. But we are OOP too.

[notagoddess]

butlerfan, I hope you can find your way back into accounting at some point, if that's what you see yourself ending up in.

Rama, I'm trying to get into college administration too. I'm taking a college budgeting class this semester and I love it, which comes as a complete surprise! Now I'm considering accounting type positions in my job hunt. I hope your H gets settled into his job nicely and time passes quickly until you can get back to treatments. It must be so hard to wait.

hydrangea1019, sorry about the polyp and your insurance situation. If your OB is unable or unwilling to remove the polyp, can she refer you to another OB who is able to the surgery? That would be extremely expensive to pay out of pocket.

butlerfan, it's wonderful your friend was supportive and asked a lot of questions. It's great you're moving along with the fostering process. But that doesn't take the feelings away. That dream must have been such a shock. I had one too recently, my first, and it was so realistic. It was awful to wake up from it since I was so happy, but it wasn't real.

kawaiikitsune, I'm sorry you're still waiting. I would be so freaking angry. I hope things get moving fast.

[notagoddess]

Apr 4, 2016 13:14:10 GMT -5 ironbaby said:

notagoddess , I'm just stalking you. We are in the same situation. Our RE offers the monitoring *optionally* which I of course intended to opt into. But we are OOP too.

It's so, so hard. If we run out of funds before something works, that would probably be it since I'm facing a likely diagnosis of DOR. I thought I would never consider unmonitored meds, much less with an IUI, but I'm feeling desperate at this point.

[easilyunamused]

Apr 4, 2016 13:29:27 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

Apr 4, 2016 13:14:10 GMT -5 ironbaby said:

notagoddess , I'm just stalking you. We are in the same situation. Our RE offers the monitoring *optionally* which I of course intended to opt into. But we are OOP too.

It's so, so hard. If we run out of funds before something works, that would probably be it since I'm facing a likely diagnosis of DOR. I thought I would never consider unmonitored meds, much less with an IUI, but I'm feeling desperate at this point.

It's been pounded into all of us on these boards about unmonitored clomid. And since you can only do 6 cycles with it, I'm surprised your RE will only do it optionally. Would they at least do it before the IUI? How would they know that you didn't overstimulate or that your lining is thin?

[kawaiikitsune]

ironbaby, notagoddess I understand feeling desperate but unmonitored Clomid is so dangerous. Over-responding, high order multiples, just to name a few. Honestly, it just doesn't seem worth the risk.

[Rama]

notagoddess, ironbaby
I would shy away from a doctor that would be willing to risk my fertility and complications of conception. Clomid is a serious fertility drug, despite being handed out to everyone that wants it. It can cause you to grow cysts on your ovaries, you can ovulate a fuckton of eggs, the results can be very scary. And you would never know without monitoring until you're in an emergency room, where the costs can easily eclipse what you'd pay for a monitored cycle.

The "easy" way out is very, very tempting, but a kind and lovely woman once told me what I needed to hear when I was in the same position:

It's not worth it. It's not worth the risk of having to sit out for 3 or more months and having to spend more money just in case you hit the jackpot on incredible odds with this. You've never taken Clomid, you won't know how you're reacting to it, you won't know if the dosage is too high or too low, you won't know if you'll even react AT ALL to Clomid, it will make you more crazy to NOT know than to spend the money and be sure. Yes, it's a lot of money. Yes, it's a shitty choice. But the hard things and the scary things are worth paying more for to KNOW and to give you the BEST.SHOT.POSSIBLE. at having your miracle happen. You only get 6 shots at this IN.YOUR.ENTIRE.LIFE. Why waste that on a shot in the dark?

[notagoddess]

Apr 4, 2016 13:31:46 GMT -5 easilyunamused said:

Apr 4, 2016 13:29:27 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

It's so, so hard. If we run out of funds before something works, that would probably be it since I'm facing a likely diagnosis of DOR. I thought I would never consider unmonitored meds, much less with an IUI, but I'm feeling desperate at this point.

It's been pounded into all of us on these boards about unmonitored clomid. And since you can only do 6 cycles with it, I'm surprised your RE will only do it optionally. Would they at least do it before the IUI? How would they know that you didn't overstimulate or that your lining is thin?

He is suggesting only 3 cycles of low-dose Clomid with an IUI the day after a positive OPK. No monitoring. I have elevated FSH and high LH so overstimulation is unlikely. There's no way to check the lining without monitoring, obviously.

If those fail, the next step would be IUIs with injectable meds.

[requiressnacks]

**Grad warning**

notagoddess, I was also 100% OOP and our RE offered a limited monitoring "self-pay" option that included one ultrasound, bloodwork, and the full sperm wash/IUI. It was $549 (not including meds). You may want to ask if they have anything in between full blown monitoring and no monitoring at all.

[ironbaby]

Rama, kawaiikitsune, easilyunamused, I don't know why my doctor would even allow unmonitored, but I knew sitting there that we would opt in. I just can sympathize with notagoddess about the financial concerns. Thanks for driving home the message though! I kinda think she would more seriously push the monitoring once it came to that, since she did discuss that they would evaluate proceeding depending on how many follicles there were, but since this was an intake appointment, not a discussion of treatment, it was more vague.

[hydrangea1019]

Apr 4, 2016 13:19:22 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

--snip--

hydrangea1019, sorry about the polyp and your insurance situation. If your OB is unable or unwilling to remove the polyp, can she refer you to another OB who is able to the surgery? That would be extremely expensive to pay out of pocket.

--snip--

I'm hoping she won't have any issues with it. She originally referred me to this RE practice and specifically stated she liked this RE. Then when we met with the RE he had such high words to say about my obgyn, I believe they've worked together like this before. I'm hoping they'll be no issue.

[notagoddess]

Apr 4, 2016 13:36:25 GMT -5 Rama said:

notagoddess , ironbaby
I would shy away from a doctor that would be willing to risk my fertility and complications of conception. Clomid is a serious fertility drug, despite being handed out to everyone that wants it. It can cause you to grow cysts on your ovaries, you can ovulate a fuckton of eggs, the results can be very scary. And you would never know without monitoring until you're in an emergency room, where the costs can easily eclipse what you'd pay for a monitored cycle.

The "easy" way out is very, very tempting, but a kind and lovely woman once told me what I needed to hear when I was in the same position:

It's not worth it. It's not worth the risk of having to sit out for 3 or more months and having to spend more money just in case you hit the jackpot on incredible odds with this. You've never taken Clomid, you won't know how you're reacting to it, you won't know if the dosage is too high or too low, you won't know if you'll even react AT ALL to Clomid, it will make you more crazy to NOT know than to spend the money and be sure. Yes, it's a lot of money. Yes, it's a shitty choice. But the hard things and the scary things are worth paying more for to KNOW and to give you the BEST.SHOT.POSSIBLE. at having your miracle happen. You only get 6 shots at this IN.YOUR.ENTIRE.LIFE. Why waste that on a shot in the dark?

It's definitely better to go with monitoring, that's for sure. But what if you don't have the money, and your fertility is running out? I had CD 3 blood work a year and a half ago, and it was within normal limits. Now FSH is elevated and LH is high, and the RE says it's time to act now. If I wait until I finish school, find a job, and save thousands of dollars, it might be too late.

It's impossibly difficult to be in this position. It's choosing between bad and worse.

[kawaiikitsune]

I completely understand the cost. My insurance only covers testing so anything beyond that will be 100% OOP. However, as Rama said, it is far more dangerous to risk your fertility on a maybe than to simply pay more for a better shot.

ETA - notagoddess If you do it and, God forbid worst-case scenario happens, you could lose your ovaries, your uterus. You are running the risk of some life-threatening complications. You're risking, not only your fertility, but your life. There have been several ladies on this board with some pretty bad Clomid horror stories. Maybe you don't end up like that but why chance it?

[emilie]

hugs cateyes! I will be thinking of you this week. Best of luck. I'm glad everything looked good at the IUI.
so glad your appointment went well ironbaby! good luck with the tests.
peaseblossom55 glad you're getting started. I hope IUI is the answer for you.
thelittleredm sorry for the BFN
easilyunamused -1 timing is not bad at all. FX for you!
hi Rama! hope AF shows for you soon.
welcome hydrangea1019 - sorry you find yourself here. You should definitely be able to get your polyp coded as a non-fertility thing so it is covered.
I think what you're doing with fostering is amazing butlerfan. Hope the training goes well.
sorry you guys are feeling crappy this cycle kawaiikitsune. I hope your RE gets back to you soon.
notagoddess yay for clear tubes! as for monitoring, is there a medium somewhere? how much monitoring does that $2k cover? are you able to pay for just one ultrasound at some point to make sure you're not completely overresponding? and just so you know - I am a DOR/high FSH gal and I responded way better than expected to meds (injectables, but still, you don't know how you respond until you try).

AFM, I triggered this morning, IUI tomorrow. I have up to 6 mature follicles. We are going for it, especially since this is our 4th IUI and we were BFN with 5 follicles on our last IUI cycle. Hopefully the clean ute + all those follies = 1 or 2 kiddos shacking up in my ute. If this doesn't work we will be doing IVF this spring or summer.

QOTW: I am an executive in the film business. I went to school intending to be a screenwriter but fell in love with the business side of things once I started taking classes.

[wannabmama]

cateyes I'm pulling so hard for you. The financial stresses on top of everything else are just the cruelest extra stab. I really hope this is your good luck month!
ironbaby good luck with the testing!
peaseblossom55 I'll be so interested to see how this IUI cycle works for you. I've got it all crossed that this does the trick!
easilyunamused I hope the swimmers were all eagerly awaiting O and the IUI works out with the timing.
Rama good luck getting into a routine and jumping back I the treatment wagon.
butlerfan so exciting!! I'm so glad you have an IRL friend you could confide in who seems great and supportive too!
kawaiikitsune all the waiting is the worst!
notagoddess so happy you got good news at the HSG and that YH is on board!!
AFM I'm 12dpo (10dpt) and definitely feeling out. I was super crampy last night and a feeling like AFis imminent basis on my usual pms symptoms. My betas aren't until Thursdsy but I'll probably breakdown before that if no AF. I'm staying at my current job through May unless I get something else, so I can hopefully get one more IVF in before I lose this insurance. So I guess that's s good thing...sigh.
QOTW: I'm a lawyer and no, at least in the form I do it now, it's definitely not what I thought I'd be doing. I won't be doing it for much longer at least!

[Rama]

Apr 4, 2016 13:47:29 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

Apr 4, 2016 13:36:25 GMT -5 Rama said:

notagoddess , ironbaby
I would shy away from a doctor that would be willing to risk my fertility and complications of conception. Clomid is a serious fertility drug, despite being handed out to everyone that wants it. It can cause you to grow cysts on your ovaries, you can ovulate a fuckton of eggs, the results can be very scary. And you would never know without monitoring until you're in an emergency room, where the costs can easily eclipse what you'd pay for a monitored cycle.

The "easy" way out is very, very tempting, but a kind and lovely woman once told me what I needed to hear when I was in the same position:

It's definitely better to go with monitoring, that's for sure. But what if you don't have the money, and your fertility is running out? I had CD 3 blood work a year and a half ago, and it was within normal limits. Now FSH is elevated and LH is high, and the RE says it's time to act now. If I wait until I finish school, find a job, and save thousands of dollars, it might be too late.

It's impossibly difficult to be in this position. It's choosing between bad and worse.

I don't have the money.  I'll tell you that point-blank.  When we go to treatment, it's on a credit card.  We're go into debt for this shindig.  Our savings is pathetic at best.  You're already two steps ahead of me there.

My dx has my hormones all fuckered up, too, and I can definitely understand the frustration and desperation and just utter, shameless DESIRE to have those two lines.  I get it.  I really, seriously, truly get it.  And yeah, it's a shit decision.

But is spending $2k at the emergency room with a ruptured cyst, being benched for 3-6 months, and being possibly out of work for a week or two better?  Is ruining your lining so that you can never hold a baby in your uterus EVER worth the 80+% fail chances?

Would your RE be willing to skip straight to monitored injectable IUI?  In your position, I think I'd just skip the formality stages and go as hard and fast as I can, while still keeping myself as safe as I can be.  I also hate that your RE is making you feel rushed, like you have to act now or lose your chance to get pregnant ever.  That kind of attitude, in addition to being underconcerned about my health, would have me looking for another care provider.

Obviously, I can't made the decisions for you and you'll need to gauge what you are comfortable with, but I cannot in good conscience get on board with a friend risking her livelihood, no matter how desperate she is.  I love you, all of you.  And I will always, always, ALWAYS be looking out for your best overall interests.