Favorite Responses to Annoying Questions?

[ashb62]

We've all heard the crazy, annoying questions and comments. What are your favorite responses?

Are they natural?
-No, they're made of biodegradable plastic. (I've never had the nerve to actually say this, but I love this response.)

Wow! You have your hands full!
-They aren't nearly as full as my heart!

Double trouble!
-Double fun!
or
-Double love!

Were they planned?
-One of them was!

[Deleted]

Are they twins?
- No, they're triplets. We just leave the ugly one at home.
- No, we found this one in the parking lot.

Two for one sale at the hospital, huh?
- Aside from my uterus and their birthday, they haven't shared a thing yet. More like two for the price of two.

Must be nice, being done with your family in one shot.
- Who told you my family is complete? (I actually HAVE used this one and love the foot-wedged-in-mouth expression that results.)

Are they natural?
- ALL babies are natural.
- Are you asking about my fertility status?
- No, dickhead, they're aliens. (Saw this one on a someecard.)
- Well, they ARE carbon based life-forms.

Do twins run in your family?
- No, but they run in my clinic!

Better you than me.
- With that attitude, you're right. MUCH better for it to be me.

Double trouble!
- Who said anything about them being trouble?

Oh, you have your hands full.
- Not as full as my heart. (I've used this.)
- And I wouldn't have it any other way. (I've used this too and got a dirty look in response, because how dare I love being a mother of twins, apparently.)

How do you do it with two?
- I don't know. How do YOU do it with only one?
- It's all I know. (I've used this one. My twins are my first and only so far. I have no idea what it's like to parent a singleton.)

Did you plan to have twins?
- How does one plan for twins, exactly? (I have used this one too. Even with IVF, there's no guarantee of even one baby, let alone two!)

[ryn]

I occasionally wish that my boys were identical so I could have answers like, "No - that one is a clone". Or "What are you talking about? I only have one baby!" and freak people out.

[Deleted]

Are your boy/girl twins identical? (I have two girls, so I've never been able to use this one)
- Right down to his penis and her vagina.

[kels09]

I don't know how you do it, I couldn't handle all the responsibility.
- that's why I have twins and you don't.

[harti09]

I go 1950's housewife and always respond with a fake smile and..."It's all I know". It covers most questions.

When people ask about conception specifically, I give full discloser with my IF history. Shuts stupid up quick.

I have no tolerance for dumb questions from strangers.