PAL/PAIF check in :)

[frenchteachermama]

Hi Ladies,

We haven't had a check-in in a long time for those of us who are pregnant after a loss or pregnant after infertility, so I thought I would start one this morning.  How is everyone doing?

[LadyNymeria]

I was just thinking last night that it might be good to do one of these check-ins since it had been a while.

I'm doing really well actually. Even though I don't use it that often, having the doppler at home has been a big help. Just to confirm the HB was still there. When I first started feeling movement and it was still really sporadic I went a day without remembering feeling anything. Rather than worry I went home and pulled out the doppler. The HB was chugging along and using the doppler got baby moving. It was so nice to be able to do that. And now that I'm feeling movement a few times a day that's wonderfully reassuring as well.

The fact that I had a loss will always be part of me, but this pregnancy has really helped me finish healing. My loss EDD was the day before St Patrick's Day and while I was sad that I didn't have a baby in my arms, I was ok. It ended up not being much different than a regular day for me, and that's the best situation I could have hoped for. Had I not been pregnant I would have been a wreck, but emotionally this pregnancy has been huge in helping me feel more back to normal.

[frenchteachermama]

LadyNymeria, I'm so happy that you are feeling great and that you feel this pregnancy is healing!

My doppler has been my best friend. I listen to her heart beat every morning for just a few seconds and it keeps my anxiety at bay. I can't really feel her move yet so that's been really reassuring. I'm still having a hard time getting excited about the pregnancy in the fear that it's going to cause something to go wrong. I'm hoping after the A/S I'll feel better. And once I can feel her move! I want to announce on FB like I did with my other two pregnancies but I'm worried about jinxing things....silly I know but that's what IF does to you...

[LadyNymeria]

It's not silly frenchteachermama. Being pregnant now doesn't erase the memory of what you went through to get here. I'm glad your doppler helps you so much as well. I questioned whether or not I really needed one but it has been worth every penny. Sounds like it has been for you as well. Hopefully the a/s makes you able to feel more excitement without it adding worry. FX you can feel the movement soon too!

[cassey910]

I'm doing very good! Feeling baby move daily helps so much. I also love my doppler. I don't use it as much now that I feel movement so much. I think i will feel even better after our appointment Monday to find out what we are having.
I still think about our angel baby almost daily. I still get sad sometimes and the due date on February 8th was hard but I know it would have been even harder if I was not pregnant. I also feel so much healing has happened after finding out I was pregnant and getting through the big milestones. Loss is so very hard but it has really given me such a compassion for those going through the same as well as infertility.

[LadyNymeria]

I'm glad you're doing well cassey910! It's amazing how reassuring kicks and the doppler are. Seems like we're feeling pretty similar - it's amazing how much being pregnant has helped with healing and I'm happy to see it's helped you as well.

unringthebell - I'm sure they won't get used as much once we can all feel consistent movement, but dopplers aren't that expensive - do you think it would help you if you ordered one now?

[LadyNymeria]

Apr 12, 2016 17:08:38 GMT -5 unringthebell said:

Apr 12, 2016 15:26:29 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

unringthebell - I'm sure they won't get used as much once we can all feel consistent movement, but dopplers aren't that expensive - do you think it would help you if you ordered one now?

I feel like I'm so close to not needing it I should just hold out. I don't know.

That's true. How long until your next appointment?

[singingsea]

I'm doing well. Been getting regular movement for about a week now. The thing that sucks is now I get super paranoid if I don't feel movement for a while. Thank god for my doppler. Dude was pretty quiet yesterday and I was able to check on him and hear his heartbeat. He's been pretty active this morning. All kinds of moving and grooving.

[LadyNymeria]

Apr 13, 2016 7:26:53 GMT -5 unringthebell said:

Apr 12, 2016 21:12:00 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

That's true. How long until your next appointment?

5/2. I just had one last week. I think that's part of my problem. Knowing I suddenly have to go 4 weeks. Actually it's less than 3 now so that's good.

You can handle less than 3! That's almost down to 2 weeks! Appointment with be here before you know it.

[LadyNymeria]

Apr 13, 2016 8:01:38 GMT -5 singingsea said:

I'm doing well. Been getting regular movement for about a week now. The thing that sucks is now I get super paranoid if I don't feel movement for a while. Thank god for my doppler. Dude was pretty quiet yesterday and I was able to check on him and hear his heartbeat. He's been pretty active this morning. All kinds of moving and grooving.

Yup. I already mentioned it in my post but I did the same thing. Didn't remember feeling baby move for a large part of the day so I pulled out the doppler. Always something to worry about... Very much looking forward to more obvious consistent movement.

As I typed this I was thinking about how I hadn't felt baby move yet today, but I just got some nice jabs in response.

[frenchteachermama]

Apr 12, 2016 13:01:45 GMT -5 cassey910 said:

I'm doing very good! Feeling baby move daily helps so much. I also love my doppler. I don't use it as much now that I feel movement so much. I think i will feel even better after our appointment Monday to find out what we are having.
I still think about our angel baby almost daily. I still get sad sometimes and the due date on February 8th was hard but I know it would have been even harder if I was not pregnant. I also feel so much healing has happened after finding out I was pregnant and getting through the big milestones. Loss is so very hard but it has really given me such a compassion for those going through the same as well as infertility.

Yay for finding out the sex of the baby on Monday!  I agree with you about how I have so much more compassion for others after my journey.

[frenchteachermama]

Apr 12, 2016 15:20:04 GMT -5 unringthebell said:

I'm doing OK. We've started slowly telling people and that's starting to make me anxious. I never pulled the trigger on getting a Doppler and now I'm regretting that. I'm not feeling consistent movement (it's early I know) so I think having that would help. Because of the hand off from RE to OB I haven't gone more than 2 weeks without an ultrasound or Doppler appointment. I just started my first 4 week stretch between appointments so I think that's part of what is worrying me.

This was exactly how I felt after I graduated from my RE.  Another friend gave me some good advice.  If you don't have your own doppler and you feel like you can't go the 4 weeks, many offices are happy to sneak you in for a quick listen to the heartbeat if your anxiety is really bad.  Most offices are very compassionate towards women who have had a rough time... 

[frenchteachermama]

Apr 13, 2016 8:01:38 GMT -5 singingsea said:

I'm doing well. Been getting regular movement for about a week now. The thing that sucks is now I get super paranoid if I don't feel movement for a while. Thank god for my doppler. Dude was pretty quiet yesterday and I was able to check on him and hear his heartbeat. He's been pretty active this morning. All kinds of moving and grooving.

I can't wait until I can feel regular movement!  So glad the doppler is helping you too

[lovetruly2015]

Im doing good. I've found a schedule of eating, b6 and unisom that keeps the ms away and having the doppler helps when im having bad. However emotionally right now kinda sucks our A/S is next week and I wanted to get my family together to tell them the sex all at once but due to stupid and unessary drama I don't think thats going to happen.

[LadyNymeria]

Love tit that you're doing well lovetruly2015. Sorry about the family drama. That shit sucks.

[lovetruly2015]

Apr 13, 2016 9:28:18 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Love tit that you're doing well lovetruly2015. Sorry about the family drama. That shit sucks.

Yeah its not fun. There has beed so much family drama over the last year and its making me nuts everyone needs to learn to deal and move on but nobody talks so nothing get resolved.

[cassey910]

Sorry about the family drama lovetruly2015

[getzystark]

I'm glad the Doppler is helpful for a lot of you!

I'm not a loss mom but I do have unexplained IF. I still find it really difficult when there are pregnancy announcements. I'm thankful for this wonderful baby, and if I hadn't had my journey, I wouldn't have this baby, bit it's still hard not to be bitter. I'm really hoping that will come with time. It's not as bad as I thought it would be, so that's good.

I've been waiting for a pregnancy announcement from my SIL but it hasn't happened yet. I'm nervous for when that happens because of the dynamic of our relationship. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I could have swore it would have been months ago, so I'm thankful to be the only one pregnant in the family right now, as selfish as that seems.

[frenchteachermama]

Family drama is the absolutely worst lovetruly2015, I'm so sorry you have to deal with it!

getzystark, I'm here from the secondary infertility world and I feel you. It's so hard to believe after what we've been through that everything is going to end well. But then part of me thinks I'm not celebrating this pregnancy enough because I'm so worried about it ending poorly. I'm trying more and more to get excited but it's tough.

theophania, I'm hoping the anatomy scan will help me feel better too.

[cbowl]

Glad everyone is hanging in there.

I'm in the midst of my loss milestone from my second tri loss in May. My doctor has been awesome and let me come last week for a heartbeat check and then I'll go in again on Tuesday for another. I second the recommendation to reach out to your doc and express your need for reassurance unringthebell . Most docs are really understanding of women who have had losses.

I'm feeling super anxious but trying to get through the next week. I wish I had more movement going on. I only feel it sporadically. Hopefully once it's more frequent I'll feel more reassured. But I guess there will always be a reason to feel worried.