AW: Life. In general.

[lo95]

Okay Internet friends.  This has been a nutso crazy week (sorry for missing this week's Money Matters) and I'm taking a minute to sit down to the computer and maybe catch a breath.

There are so many things happening right now and one in particular on the SAHM train of thought.  We are currently selling our house and trying to move back closer to our home city.  That's all good and well except for one thing- it will permanently shut the door on the job I'm currently on LOA from.  And I thought I was okay with that.  Really.  But as it actually comes closer to being "a thing" I'm starting to feel a dramatic sense of doom and cloudy outlook for my professional future.  Teachers are not super in-demand and there really is no way to know how long it would take me to find another teaching gig full-time when I decide to go back.  This makes me feel panicky about retirement because teacher retirement is awesome and to not have enough vested time for Social Security or teacher pension at this point makes me spazzy. (Okay, let me clarify- I assume I'll continue separate retirement contributions.  I also assume I'll work again somewhere at some point and get credits enough in either to at least qualify for disability benefits if, God forbid, that would become a need.  My dad was disabled at 39 and so that's something I think about...)  But to not have the security of my tenure at the district I've been in for long now makes me feel squeamish.  I guess the round-and-round- we go part of this conversation though is that the thought of staying in this city, going back to work in another year, and putting DD in daycare makes me nauseous too.  Something is going to have to be sacrificed here.  And, in a sort of PMS-y rage, I'm irked about it.  DH doesn't have to decide whether to be a SAHD or career man.  He gets to have the benefit of me staying home with our daughter and his career.  Don't get me wrong- I love staying home and would like to do it indefinitely.  But it's just sort of the point of the thing.

I know this is a big ol' AW ramble.  I never do well with change so I'm just all over the place.  How do you handle all of the logistics of this SAHM life?  I don't know how to plan for all of the "what-ifs", you know?  

[namastebiotches]

Big hugs. I don't have much experience with that kind of situation but sounds stressful for sure.

[lo95]

Apr 12, 2016 18:07:24 GMT -5 namastebiotches said:

Big hugs. I don't have much experience with that kind of situation but sounds stressful for sure.

Thanks.

[ashiscute]

First of all hugs. It's no fun feeling crazy about this stuff.

I honestly don't worry about retirement. I know I will eventually but right now, for me, being home with my kids is more important to me than the savings I'm missing out on. I understand that that is a big negative of being home and I'm okay with it. However, I did not have a job with the type of security/tenure that you had so I can see how that would change things. I have no idea when I'll go back to work. Or what I'll do when I grow up.

[westiemom]

Big hugs. I walked away from education too and leaving the retirement idea behind was tough when we made the decision. I hope to go back in some capacity and am just going to take it one day at a time and try not to focus too much on the future. It's really hard to do though. Sorry you are facing such a huge decision!

[younglove316]

I've been trying to come up with something helpful to say but I can't so *hugs*

I know it's easier said than done but try not too focus so much on the distant future and what ifs. I wonder sometimes too how the whole retirement, savings, etc. will work out but for now I just keep telling myself to be mindful of how we spend and save. I don't even know what I'm going to do for a career so for now I just try not to think too much about it.

[vettymama]

No experience with this. DH takes care of our "future money" (I need to have more input, at this season of life though I feel like I have other responsibilities). I didn't leave a job anywhere near your career path so there's that also. I hope you get some peace soon!

[penguin129]

Sending you hugs. I comfort myself knowing that h' s mon didn't start teaching until her mid forties and she is going to be able to retire in 5 years and be ok. The thought of not having tenure is scary, but they don't have that anymore where I live anyway.

[lo95]

Thanks everyone. I hope I'm worrying for nothing. Who knows...

[icequeen]

I know I'm late but just wanted to give hugs. I'm not familiar with your situation per se but I can imagine figuring out the logistics of going back to work being super overwhelming. I know I will most likely go back, but like PPs, I am not thinking about that right now. I am so happy when I'm at and dread having to make that decision when the time comes. Good luck!

[mrsmuq]

I worked in nonprofit for a while, and a well-paying one to boot, and walked away from a pension and company matched retirement when the company moved to another state. Not the same situation, but at the end of the day, I hope to go back to work in my chosen field and in some capacity contribute to retirement.

It's more important to me and my husband for me to be home with our kids right now. As such, we try to make financial decisions that mitigate my temporary "lapse" in contributing to our retirement savings.

In almost any other profession, tenure is never guaranteed. I live in NY, a highly unionized state, and teachers are losing their jobs because of declines in enrollment, budget cuts, and school closures. Tenure does not necessarily guarantee your job by any means.

[jperry]

I understand your situation. My sister was once there. She chose to give up her career and stayed at home with the kids. She always wanted to work but her priority is to be with her children. Then one day, she was introduced to Odesk where a lot of online jobs are available. She is now working with one company for almost 3 years already and very much happy and contented.

[Deleted]

Hey lo95, long time, no see! I'd personally try not to worry too much about the retirement part right now. Moving closer to family will likely make life easier, and LO is still so little, you may find yourself ready to start looking for a teaching position in 5 or so years when she's going to school. If it were me, I'd just keep my certifications up to date and try not to stress over this particular teaching job. I know the market is thin right now, but that won't necessarily be the case down the road, and if push come to shove, and you needed more income, you could do something else until the right teaching position came along. Good luck with the move!