STMs!

[happyday]

I was curious about all of this too, and didn't want it to get lost in randoms!!

Apr 19, 2016 15:35:18 GMT -5 txmommy14 said:

For STM+, what is your plan for your toddler when baby arrives? Maybe I should make a separate thread for this. Are you packing them a bag? Are you getting them a "gift" for the baby and a gift for them from the baby? DS just turned 2, so I'm not sure if he'll understand and if it's worth the effort, or if it would be a sweet thing to do. Are you doing anything else to prepare? I was going to buy him a baby doll but haven't done that yet and am not sure if I will or if it will be a waste?

I'll add a few more questions...
1. My friend suggested making a box of toys that are only pulled out when you're nursing. It would occupy them, and keep them excited by fresh toys when you're unable to get up. I need ideas on what to put in this box. Also, good idea?

2. Will your DH/SO stay with you both nights in the hospital or will they go home to stay with your older kiddo and keep things consistent?

[txmommy14]

Thanks happyday!

I haven't really thought about any of this yet. I do have a Big Brother shirt I want DS to wear to come meet DD int he hospital, but I don't know what any of that will look like yet. We have several different scenarios about where DS will be depending on what happens and who is in town to help us.

I think DH will stay at the hospital with me, that's what he wants to do and if DS is with grandparents, he will be happy. My sister had her DH go home though, and that worked for them, also.

[bighair12]

We are kind of up in the air at this point with what to do with DD. My situation is unique though as I plan on a week stay and baby about the same amount of time.

DD will go to daycare the day of surgery. One of our parents will be picking her up and staying with her at our house. MH will stay with me if I am in post partum. If I am in ICU or another floor then he will go home. But, we don't know how the NICU works yet either. If I am stuck then he will stay with the baby and we will be having family take care of DD. We are trying to keep things as normal for her as possible so she will continue to go to preschool in the mornings and afternoon if need be.

I will be purchasing some new coloring books and activity books for DD when I am nursing and such. She will also get a new doll I think from the new baby whenever she is allowed to see her.

[cattuccino]

I don't think we're getting anything super special - we have a big sister book. I also have a leap pad I got on sale tucked away that might just have to be a special thing for nursing....I can just imagine it being a battle to put away though. We'll see.

DH's mom is likely to come to our place and stay with DD when the time comes - especially if it's after she's asleep. Depending on the timing and how many nights I may stay at the hospital we haven't 100% committed to if DH stays with us or not - mostly because I don't like the idea of DD being without her parents for longer than she's used to but we'll see.

[athn64]

DD will be staying with my parents. Depending on when we go in, they may be at our house with her for a bit. DH will be with me. But DD spends the night with grandma and grandpa on occasion so it won't be too out of the ordinary for her

I know my mom is planning on getting DD a doll when the baby comes so she can also have a new baby.

As to nursing sessions, my plan was to allow some snuggles and reading when she needs it during those.

[twobananas]

We aren't getting gifts for our kids, they are still pretty young (3.5 and 1.5), so I don't think it'll be necessary. I'm sure we'll buy lots of fun summer stuff over the summer anyways to keep them perfectly happy!

My husband is planning to stay with me (keep in mind if you have a c-section, you'll definitely want the help!). We'll have our kids stay with my parents, or if my parents are unavailable for some reason, call on a friend for help until my parents can get there.

No special toys, but my kids both go to school during the day or my husband is home at night/weekends, so I don't anticipate any issues trying to nurse the babies and having to entertain the kids at the same time.

txmommy14, I bought my son a doll for my 2nd pregnancy, he was about 18 months and didn't care for it at all.. just threw it across the room Now he's 3 and he likes to pick up some baby dolls but not often.

[sandandsea]

We have a plan, but we'll see if it gets amended when the time comes. My mom is flying out about 10 days before my EDD and she will be in charge of DS when DH and I go to the hospital. She will bring him to the hospital with a bag of goodies to play with (workbooks, crayons, new activities, small toys, playdoh, etc.). Basically, we will pack our "airplane" bag for him with lots of little things that are "special" toys he doesn't usually get to play with and the ipad....geez, all he needs is the ipad and I swear he could stay home alone all day and be fine.

We are undecided if we want Little Bro to bring him a gift or not. We're leaning towards yes, but unsure of what, especially since he already has soooo many toys.

He will be home with us the first week or so after baby comes, but then will be heading back to school to keep his routine. He'll be 4.5 and we have to keep paying for DC anyway to not lose his spot, so we might as well use it. My mom is staying a few weeks after so she can haul him back and forth and will be taking him on fun adventures too like amusement parks, beach, swim lessons, etc.

We didn't buy him a doll or anything, but he's totally into all the nursery stuff we're getting and I've been using his stuffies to show him how to hold a baby, how we swaddle them, etc. He's pretty rambunctious, but very interested and sweet towards baby bro so far, so we're really just been reminding him that he has to be gentle with babies.

ETA:  DH will be staying in the hospital with me.  DS will be going home with Grandma (our home) but has already told me to ask the doctors if he can stay too because he wants to be with Little Bro.  My mom will do a good job distracting him and get icecream or something on the way home to make it easier to leave.

[babyzebra]

I'm going to let my mom know ASAP when I go into labor so she can head over to stay with DS/pick him up from daycare. DH will likely go home in the evenings/nights to stay with DS while I'm at the hospital with the baby since DS has been so difficult lately. I'm going to have DS's backpack all set to go with snacks and toys to play with at the hospital. I don't think we'll get him a specific gift from the baby, but there will definitely be some new toys in his bag. I haven't decided what yet.

I'm starting to get kind of nervous about what would happen if my labor is super short or something and my mom doesn't make it in time to be with DS. I'm also worried about how he'll do away from both of us, which is why DH will definitely be spending some time at home with him. We're going to try to get him to daycare if it's during the week so that he can have consistency in his routine. Basically I'm a big ball of nerves about all of this!

[shoogars]

My mom will watch the girls. If we need to get to the hospital before she's able to get here (she's an hour away) we have a couple of options who live right by the hospital. My mom will bring the girls to visit pretty quickly after birth (DD1 came while I was still in L&D with DD2).

DH will obviously stay until baby is born. I will give him the option to sleep at home, but he will choose to stay at the hospital (he feels it's what he is obligated to do)...the accommodations for dad aren't great so I really don't mind if he'd go home.

I have taken the older girls shopping to choose a gift to give to the baby, they are so excited. The baby will be the gift to them. They will probably only come for an hour or so each day we're in the hospital.

[sandandsea]

I've also asked 4 friends if they are willing to be back up to watch DS in case my mom doesn't make it in time (i.e. Baby is 2 weeks early since we have a flight booked). DS would be super comfortable with 3 of them and I deeply trust all 4.

[txmommy14]

It's so helpful to read everyone's responses! That's a good idea to have a bag of new toys/coloring books ready. However, I'm wondering if DS will just have short visits and will be so distracted when he comes to visit in the hospital.

I'm so jealous of you who have Moms that live nearby! Well, my MIL does live nearby, but I would definitely feel better if my mom was here.

I am so excited about DS meeting DD. I don't have high hopes, and think there's a good chance he'll pretend she doesn't exist, but I still can't wait for that moment he walks in!!

[packerfan4life]

We have a couple of close friends that have offered to watch DD while I'm in labor. After baby is born H will go home with her. We want to keep her schedule as much the same as we can.

I don't think we'll buy her anything special, she's won't be 2 yet so doesn't really get it. If anything we'll get her a book or a little toy.

[happyday]

I don't have family nearby. Everyone is a 4+ hour away and everyone is working (not retired) so they can't just take off a ton of time. I also refuse to have family in our house just waiting for me to go into labor. Too much pressure for me!

Our "plan" (we use that word loosely) is to call our family friend when I start having regular, intensifying contractions. She was dd's nanny for 2 years and I trust her more than my own family, tbh. Lol. If it's late, she'll come to our house and let DD sleep at home. If not, she'll take her to her house and they'll have a slumber party there (with her kiddos). Either way, DD will be thrilled to have her around.

We likely won't call our families until I'm checked in at the hospital and things are really progressing (at least 7cm). Last time we called at check in, but everyone rushed into town and my labor was 33.5 hours so they were sleeping in the waiting room. Not ideal.

Our friend will keep DD multiple nights, but I think I'll send DH home to take care of her in the evenings, once she's born, I've showered, DD has come to meet her, and we are feeling settled. We don't have the room for guests in our house so everyone's going to have to get a hotel.

I'll definitely pack DD a bag for at least two days and one overnight.

I am planning on getting a gift from the baby, but tbd what it will be.

[twobananas]

txmommy14, be prepared for your DS to be much more focused on you than the baby! I had my son run to me right after I gave birth and luckily was able to hand my daughter off to someone real quick. I wanted to give my son a lot of good attention too so that he knew he wasn't being replaced or anything. I wasn't expecting how excited he was to see me, but it was pretty cute! Then of course we were able to show him the new baby after some snuggles and hugs from me.

[txmommy14]

twobananas , That is so sweet. I cannot wait for those moments...gives me the warm fuzzies inside. I'm fully prepared for worst case scenario and DS having a really hard time with it all, but I think it will be special and memorable regardless. The other night, DS (who just turned 2) was at the dinner table naming everyone in our family, "Mommy....Daddy.....DS....Boomer(the dog)..." I said, "And baby Adeline!" He very firmly said, "NO IS NOT!" LOL, uh oh!

[nitecheese]

This thread is making me super emotional. Thanks, hormones. My mom is going to come out 2 days before my RCS to help me clean and pack and cook. DS will stay with my MIL and my FIL the night before and the night of DD's delivery. Then, DH will be home with him. If I need help in the hospital, my mom will come stay with me there (which she did the last time so DH could get the house ready, get some rest, etc).

As for toys, we're getting him a new Star Wars Lego set that he's been eyeing at Target. Other than that, we talk to him a lot about his little sister. He asks to kiss my belly goodnight, which is just too cute.

I'm a little worried about dealing with him post-RCS. He loves to be picked up and to rough house with mama, which will be a no-go. I worry that he's going to think I don't love him.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd I'm crying now.

Is anyone else anxious about how DS/DD will react to the new baby?

[Flair Underwood]

I'm excited to read everyone else's responses to this because I haven't thought about it MUCH but I'm def. stressed about it.

I hadn't really planned to give DD a gift - but I think maybe I will. Nothing major - we need less clutter or junk in our life.


Will your DH/SO stay with you both nights in the hospital or will they go home to stay with your older kiddo and keep things consistent?

The plan at this point looks like this: MIL lives about 15 miles away. If I go in for an RCS or contractions, we'll call her first. We can literally see the hospital from our house - so timing isn't SUPER tight. MIL can stay at our house to watch DD... but once the baby arrives, DH is going to go to our and get DD to come meet the baby. After she has her own time, MIL can come see the baby.

MIL is NOT allowed to drive DD or have her at her house without us - so, after MIL visits, we'll call my parents who will take DD to their house for the next two nights. I'll have a bag packed for DD to go to their house for a slumber party, but I didn't think of having a gift for her. I probably won't do a gift FROM the baby, but perhaps a big sister gift.

[bighair12]

nitecheese, I am petrified of the transition to two kiddos. I cry just thinking about DD not being an only anymore. I almost feel guilty for adding to our family. I feel that this is mom guilt at its finest right now.

I have been tearing up just thinking about all of this and can't even bring it up to DH.

[nitecheese]

bighair12, I'm sorry you're feeling that way. but I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[microworm]

DS will be turning 2 next month. In preparation, I have gotten him a couple baby/big brother books. He likes the books and points to my belly and says "baby!" but I don't think he understands much more than that.

The plan is for DS to stay with my parents while we are at the hospital. Probably the entire time. He does well at my parent's, including sleep. My parents will bring him for visits.

As of now, I hadn't planned on buying any special toys to keep him busy. However, his birthday will be the month prior so maybe I should have some things in mind to put on a wish list.

During my maternity leave, DS will continue to go to daycare but we will reduce it to 2 days a week (he goes 4 days now and is with my parents 1 day). The other 3 days my parents agreed to take him (they're retired). I'm not sure how long this will last. Maybe I will have an easy newborn and stop sending him to my parents for 2 of those days and keep him home with me a couple days a week. It just depends how things are going with the newb.

[microworm]

Apr 20, 2016 8:19:27 GMT -5 bighair12 said:

nitecheese , I am petrified of the transition to two kiddos. I cry just thinking about DD not being an only anymore. I almost feel guilty for adding to our family. I feel that this is mom guilt at its finest right now.

I have been tearing up just thinking about all of this and can't even bring it up to DH.

This is me. I feel so bad that DS's life is going to change so quickly and he isn't going to understand why. I know it will be great for him in the long run but I tear up just thinking about how DS will feel when he sees me spending so much time with the baby.

[broadwaymama]

I don't think we will do anything too extra special. My mom is staying with us for the week of the due date so they will stay with her if that's when it happens.
They are super excited so I think the baby will be gift enough.
We are however thinking about holding off telling anyone the gender and name until they have met the baby so it can be extra special for our family.

[microworm]

happyday that's a good point. I hadn't even thought of preparing an overnight bag for DS. My list is all things for MY hospital bag, but I better put together a list for DS's bag.

MH will have to fend for himself and pack his own damn bag.

[shoogars]

When DD2 was born I had a Crayola doodle board thing that only used a water pen (no mess). I kept it in my hospital bag, but DD1 (18 months) had absolutely no interest in it. Between her sister and all the things in the hospital room to play with (she loved the curtain) she kept herself busy. She did tell everybody she saw that she had a new baby sissy:)

[birdhut]

I got her a bag pack with low mess activities to do. I was going to list the stuff but thought I'd just take a picture. I went a little overboard I'm also putting a set of pjs and that big sister outfit in the babies bag so her backpack just has special stuff for her to do. She will also have snacks in there too. I am packing a small portable DVD player. I'm thinking the hospital has one though so maybe not.

The box has kenetic sand and small play-doh. The play-doh came with sand molds so that will work with both things and my hope is the bin will keep it all contained. If not it will be a home activity while I'm in the hospital.

If baby girl comes in the night DH will stay with me that night and our neighbor will come to the house until MIL can get there. Then DH will stay the next night(s) or at least go home for dinner and bedtime routine with DD. Either his mom or him will stay with me. If DH just stays one night I would prefer him to stay the second night because I was more tired that night than the first. I think it will depend on how DD is going.

[birdhut]

Apr 20, 2016 9:51:10 GMT -5 microworm said:

Apr 20, 2016 8:19:27 GMT -5 bighair12 said:

nitecheese , I am petrified of the transition to two kiddos. I cry just thinking about DD not being an only anymore. I almost feel guilty for adding to our family. I feel that this is mom guilt at its finest right now.

I have been tearing up just thinking about all of this and can't even bring it up to DH.

This is me. I feel so bad that DS's life is going to change so quickly and he isn't going to understand why. I know it will be great for him in the long run but I tear up just thinking about how DS will feel when he sees me spending so much time with the baby.

This is me as well. I think that's why I went a little overboard on fun stuff for her to do. I am just feeling sad that this stage in our lives having all our time for her is going to end soon. I'm going to try and include her in as much as I can as far as doing things for the baby but I know she'll still feel jealous of the extra time spent with the baby. I keep trying to think of how it will go but I honestly just have no clue.

[babyzebra]

Apr 20, 2016 8:13:54 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

Is anyone else anxious about how DS/DD will react to the new baby?

Yeah, I'm definitely anxious about this. DS has been super clingy with me lately and it seems like the more I try to get him to do things independently, the more he clings to me. He gets jealous when I pet the dog now. We saw a little baby at daycare drop off today who was crying and he gave me a WTF look and grabbed onto my leg. I'm really trying not to project my anxiety to him and focus on how great it's going to be to have a sibling. Easier said than done!

[sandandsea]

Is anyone else anxious about how DS/DD will react to the new baby?

Not really. DS is super excited for Little Bro to come and some of his friends at DC have little siblings and he sees the babies in the baby room daily so he has a good idea of what to expect. It helps that he's 4, so he understands a little more. I'm most sad that DS is at such a great stage now. I love age 4 - he's thoughtful, more independent, PT, smart, but still loves cuddles and wants our time. It's a really sweet stage. And so much easier since he's capable of doing so much himself (no diaper bag, can go with or without stroller, no booster seats at restaurants, etc.). We're starting over, and I remember just exactly how hard it is to have a newborn...and the BF and pumping at work. I'm not sure we're quite ready for the extra work yet.

[happyday]

Apr 20, 2016 8:13:54 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

Is anyone else anxious about how DS/DD will react to the new baby?

My dd1 is 3.5 years old, and she's super aware of what's going on and seems to have a good handle on how things will change. That's different than her living it - and I'm sure the transition will be difficult. But, I'm not too anxious about dd's reaction or stripping her of any experiences. I think she's going to love her sister and I feel good about expanding our family... Even if that means she's not my focus 100% of every day. Her being so freaking excited really helps.

[Flair Underwood]

Apr 20, 2016 8:13:54 GMT -5 nitecheese said:

Is anyone else anxious about how DS/DD will react to the new baby?

I'm more nervous about the inevitable behavior problems we will have on her end.... and more than that, I'm worried about how my exhaustion is going to affect my patience/parenting toward her.  I can tell I'm already impatient from being tired and sore, what's going to happen post-baby?  I'm really nervous about this one......