First Tri To-Do List

[babycowbell]

So what's on your short-term to-do list now that you know you're pregnant? What are your three highest priority items that you want to get done during first trimester? Obviously several of us are FTMs, so if you've done this before, what should we do first and what should we not worry about doing?

[babycowbell]

I'm a FTM so I have no idea, but the only things on my list are day care research since some here have a year long wait list for infants, picking an OB, and deciding if we want to do a Facebook announcement and prepping for that, if necessary.

I feel like I should have more to-do items!

[redsoxgirl10]

I didn't do much in the first tri last time. It's hard enough to just get through the day for me haha. But in the second tri, I ramped up the daycare search and picked my place, and did my registry.

[kaydee0402]

Since my husband is about to leave, painting and cleaning out the spare room to move DS into and putting Baby #2 on the list for daycare.

Um, I think that actually covers my to-do list for the entire pregnancy.

[cipollina]

This is a great idea, babycowbell. I feel like I could definitely use some insight from those who have been down this road before.

Right now, I know I want us to look into our insurance. DF's expected graduation is December, and we aren't sure when our insurance will drop. He can postpone turning in his thesis, but we aren't sure how this works. I really want to have this figured out so I'm not stressing over whether we'll have insurance when baby decides to arrive.

[littlelion]

On my to-do list for 1st tri:
- Buy DS a bed. He needs to be out of our bed before I can bust out the body pillow
- Sleep and take it easy. I can worry about details, space and money later.

[redsoxgirl10]

littlelion that reminds me I want to buy a pregnancy pillow this time. Last time I stole every pillow in the house.

Any recommendations?

[littlelion]

Apr 20, 2016 20:37:25 GMT -5 redsoxgirl10 said:

littlelion that reminds me I want to buy a pregnancy pillow this time. Last time I stole every pillow in the house.

Any recommendations?

I bought the snoogle body pillow. From Target online if I remember correctly. And I still used a couple of regular pillows too! So much achiness.

[mrsp121308]

I'd start thinking about how much time you and your SO are taking off of work and plan your time off accordingly.

Start researching car seats. They are #1 important item in my mind, so I spent an obscene amount of time reading consumer reports, highway traffic reports, etc. to find the safest one.

Decide how/when to tell family.

[mrsp121308]

That's my advice to FTMs.

My own personal short term goals are: don't barf. Don't barf. Don't barf. And buy a comfy swivel/glider/recliner, so DH can start sleeping there now and I can have the bed to myself. Lol

[eristin]

littlelion you co-sleep too? What's your plan for transitioning?

[babycowbell]

Apr 20, 2016 19:55:38 GMT -5 kaydee0402 said:

Since my husband is about to leave, painting and cleaning out the spare room to move DS into and putting Baby #2 on the list for daycare.

Um, I think that actually covers my to-do list for the entire pregnancy.

Haha, I guess there aren't THAT many things that are really mandatory!

[requiressnacks]

How soon do I have to start researching daycares?

[birch113]

Apr 21, 2016 4:52:12 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

How soon do I have to start researching daycares?

It depends on your area. I started at 20 weeks with DS (June 2014) and almost everything had a waitlist until June 2015 or later. We moved last summer, and we are still on the waitlist for our top choice DC. That said, I have friends who live elsewhere and had no issues.

[WineNChocolate]

STM: first trimester try and stay awake. Don't throw up anytime soon (mrsp121308).
- we do need to start looking into an architect to remodel for the new little one.

Suggestions to FTM:
- daycare if you live in highly competitive place
- where your gonna put the baby..I didn't have a room for a nursery for DD..so had to figure out where it was going.
- how you want to tell everyone. Pinterest is your friend! Lots of great ideas!
- Other than that it can wait till 2nd trimester when things get a Lil easier.

[kaydee0402]

Apr 20, 2016 20:19:21 GMT -5 littlelion said:

On my to-do list for 1st tri:
- Buy DS a bed. He needs to be out of our bed before I can bust out the body pillow
- Sleep and take it easy. I can worry about details, space and money later.

Ugh add this to my list!  Ds sleeps well in his crib most the night, but at 4 am he normally comes into bed with us, which would be fine, but he's a kicker.  We clearly need to put a stop to this.

[kaydee0402]

Apr 20, 2016 22:19:25 GMT -5 babycowbell said:

Apr 20, 2016 19:55:38 GMT -5 kaydee0402 said:

Since my husband is about to leave, painting and cleaning out the spare room to move DS into and putting Baby #2 on the list for daycare.

Um, I think that actually covers my to-do list for the entire pregnancy.

Haha, I guess there aren't THAT many things that are really mandatory!

It's our second, so we already have a painted nursery, furniture, car seat, daycare...there really is nothing we need or need to do, which is a nice change!  My first pregnancy I felt so overwhelmed. 

But I will add new car to my list.  I have to trade in out current Ford Escape for a minivan because I need more room for these babies! 

[kaydee0402]

Apr 20, 2016 21:48:21 GMT -5 mrsp121308 said:

That's my advice to FTMs.

My own personal short term goals are: don't barf. Don't barf. Don't barf. And buy a comfy swivel/glider/recliner, so DH can start sleeping there now and I can have the bed to myself. Lol

So much this.

[littlelion]

Apr 20, 2016 22:16:03 GMT -5 eristin said:

littlelion you co-sleep too? What's your plan for transitioning?

I'll be doing the same thing I do now, lay down with him until he falls asleep. I plan on getting him to nap there first. I'm hoping he likes it. The nights will probably be harder for me. He STTN so it'll be lots of nights of me checking in on him or sleeping on the floor (no video camera).

What's your plan? I should also look at baby proofing his room ×10.

[hmr11913]

Not much to add that wasn't already stated --- for FTM I def would jump on the daycare bandwagon search if you're going that route... we didn't, but I've heard friends say some daycares have a year or so waiting list for infants.

For me, I wish I had packed my hospital bag and had those sorts of things ready earlier on.... I went into labor at 34 weeks 5 days, so had nothing packed or ready and it really sucked. So, I'll be sure to have that ready this time around much sooner, just incase. Also, one thing that I would have liked was hiring (or asking) someone to clean your home for you prior to coming home. These are things that are far out, but as a FTM coming home to a squeaky clean home would be so appreciated.

[eristin]

Apr 21, 2016 7:59:59 GMT -5 littlelion said:

Apr 20, 2016 22:16:03 GMT -5 eristin said:

littlelion you co-sleep too? What's your plan for transitioning?

I'll be doing the same thing I do now, lay down with him until he falls asleep. I plan on getting him to nap there first. I'm hoping he likes it. The nights will probably be harder for me. He STTN so it'll be lots of nights of me checking in on him or sleeping on the floor (no video camera).

What's your plan? I should also look at baby proofing his room ×10.

Sounds like a smart plan!  My DH also suggested a mattress on the floor.  My DD still wakes up at least once a night, but she sleeps pretty well because our bed is warm.  We have to figure out how to make it warm for her since she hates blankets and we can't put a space heater in her room if she's free to roam...AKA I have no idea!

[legalbeagle]

My list:
- try not to freak out/eat healthily/exercise
- add stuff that I remember liking to secret Amazon registry
- start rubbing the tummy cream all over tummy AND butt/thighs (trust me, you'll thank me later on the butt/thighs tip)
- buy body pillow and some supportive sleeping bras

FTM:
- daycare 1000% but don't worry about this until later if you're getting a nanny or area not competitive
- ask around for a family attorney who can do a will/trust/POA situation since littles can't inherit. You don't have to actually execute all that stuff now but I know people procrastinate on finding an attorney and it can take a while to find one and get everything in order.
- add life insurance for both you and partner
- get an extra dentist appointment scheduled. I think my dentist recommends a check up every four months during pregnancy

[requiressnacks]

How does one find out if they are in a competitive area? I live in New Haven, CT - a decent sized city, which I would presume has many options. But I guess there's also more kids that need daycare, if you live in a city.

Also, I have a 45 minute commute and MH has a 30 minute commute, in the exact opposite directions. My plan is to find daycare near our home, since that's the most central location for both of us to share dropoff/pickup responsibilities. Is there anyone that thinks it might be better to find daycare near my job?

[legalbeagle]

requiressnacks , I'd just start calling daycares in your area and see what their waitlist looks like/policy is. Maybe ask anonymously on a parent board for recs?

We have a nanny, but I'd definite do daycare near home for the reasons you mentioned and also on days where neither of you has work but daycare is open you could drop nugget off for a few hours to get sleep/get errands done.

[littlelion]

requiressnacks I considered DC by work. And when they are little, the drive home is probably ok. As they get bigger they're more likely to be awake and get antsy in the car. Also, having DC closer to home gives you flexibilty on who can pick them up. My sister lives close by and is my emergency pick up person. I've had my cousin pick him up and then go to my house and watch him for the evening (work events). Make those first calls/visits and I'm sure your priorities will sway you to the right choice.

[sdgal]

Researching daycare is going to be sad. Infant rates at the daycare associated with DH work are $1700/month. I think they are the same at the daycare associated with my work. More than our current rent (although we know we are under market). Ugh

[birch113]

Apr 21, 2016 10:37:28 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

How does one find out if they are in a competitive area? I live in New Haven, CT - a decent sized city, which I would presume has many options. But I guess there's also more kids that need daycare, if you live in a city.

Also, I have a 45 minute commute and MH has a 30 minute commute, in the exact opposite directions. My plan is to find daycare near our home, since that's the most central location for both of us to share dropoff/pickup responsibilities. Is there anyone that thinks it might be better to find daycare near my job?

Hey, neighbor!!!!!

I would recommend finding a daycare closer to home. When DS was six months, we moved and I had trouble finding day care here, so he commuted with me everyday to his old DC. The 45+ minute commute from 6-15 months was rough and stressful, and it really messed with his nighttime sleep since he would nap in the car many mornings. The other thing is that it would be really tough on days that I could not drop off or pick up because of a meeting, or a doctors appointment, or something else. DH would have to go way out of his way to bring DS to daycare for me. It sucks when they are sick and you want to pick them up immediately, but it is just so much easier for everyone to have them closer to home.

I just changed offices and we HAD to find new daycare, and these last few weeks have been so much easier on everyone. DS is so much happier now that he's not spending 90+ minutes in the car every day, and it's really helpful to have DH alternate drop offs and pick ups.

Tl;dr in my experience, commuting with a baby sucks. DC close to home is awesome.

[birch113]

requiressnacks not sure which direction you commute to, but I looked at DCs in Shelton and Milford. PM me if you have any questions.

[requiressnacks]

Thanks, birch113!

[achromia]

Apr 22, 2016 6:58:05 GMT -5 birch113 said:

Apr 21, 2016 10:37:28 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

How does one find out if they are in a competitive area? I live in New Haven, CT - a decent sized city, which I would presume has many options. But I guess there's also more kids that need daycare, if you live in a city.

Also, I have a 45 minute commute and MH has a 30 minute commute, in the exact opposite directions. My plan is to find daycare near our home, since that's the most central location for both of us to share dropoff/pickup responsibilities. Is there anyone that thinks it might be better to find daycare near my job?

Hey, neighbor!!!!!

I would recommend finding a daycare closer to home. When DS was six months, we moved and I had trouble finding day care here, so he commuted with me everyday to his old DC. The 45+ minute commute from 6-15 months was rough and stressful, and it really messed with his nighttime sleep since he would nap in the car many mornings. The other thing is that it would be really tough on days that I could not drop off or pick up because of a meeting, or a doctors appointment, or something else. DH would have to go way out of his way to bring DS to daycare for me. It sucks when they are sick and you want to pick them up immediately, but it is just so much easier for everyone to have them closer to home.

I just changed offices and we HAD to find new daycare, and these last few weeks have been so much easier on everyone. DS is so much happier now that he's not spending 90+ minutes in the car every day, and it's really helpful to have DH alternate drop offs and pick ups.

Tl;dr in my experience, commuting with a baby sucks. DC close to home is awesome.

This is really helpful information for me too (I have a 90-minute-each-way commute) so thank you for sharing!