#2 (or 3, Etc)

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

Hi guys! I've been off for a while seems like things keep being crazy between work, starting daycare, r being diagnosed with asthma and using a nebulizer, stomach virus, my mom moving in (in between house sale and condo purchase) .... Etcetcetc

I'm on the fence about when to try for a second-- we got the incurable coverage for this year to give us the option but damn all this craziness makes me want to wait (lol)

Tell me --who has taken the plunge? If planned tell me your thoughts on timing/ages, etc. Or if you've already had 2+, how far apart and how's the timing ?

I know this is probably a repeat post but scrolling takes too long lol

[lilyelayne]

Hiiiii @mrs2ks! Sorry about R's asthma. That's a tough thing to struggle with. Thank goodness for the wonderful drugs we have for it! Said as a lifelong asthmatic myself

{tl;dr- plan to start TTC around DS's second birthday}

I think around 10 of our F15 ladies are currently pregnant, anywhere from just got a BFP to ~third tri IIRC. If that's helpful info.

As for me, I want four kids but DH is dead set on only two. So two is our current plan. I think we'll start TTC around DS's second birthday or a little after. I'd like for him to be old enough to understand what's going on, either be in a school program or getting ready for one, and have a longer opportunity to self wean. Also if I only get two babies I want to extend that time if possible, you know? I also just got my first pp period so it hasn't even been an option for us til now.

I'm 27. DH will be 34 this year. So plenty of time, even if we have another kid on this timeline and decide our family isn't done.

My sister and I are 6 years apart so that's my experience. There are pros and cons to near and far spacing. My nephews are 14 months apart, and now that they're nearing 4 & 3 their growing friendship is a lovely thing to witness. Yes part of me is sad DS won't get that opportunity since it'll be some years before he & potential sibling are on the same level. But that close spacing was never something DH and I were interested in.

Also I still need time to get back in shape. My body was the strongest it's ever been when I got pregnant, and I continued being physically active & fit the whole 41 weeks! And basically not since. I was way better off in third tri than I am now. But I've started back on the fitness trek, so I'll make it

[tortor4]

Hello 2mrsks (mrs&mrsk) ! I have THE WORST baby fever right now. But I think we're going to wait until after summer is over. Ideally I'd like a spring/ early summer baby because winter birthday parties are expensive and I don't want to be crazy pregnant for summer. Plus like lilyelayne we're only planning on two and I want to prolong it.

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

tortor4 I'm basically on same page. Probably sept as our August vacation will interrupt trying . And then we will have 5 months left of insurance to try. I didn't want 2u2 it scared me lol and I want the summer to enjoy r and wine (lol)

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

Oh and then he gets sick and doesn't nap and the baby fever disappears

[tortor4]

2mrsks (mrs&mrsk) Hahahaha DH says the same thing if C is having an off day. He's like oh man do you really want to do this with two?! I still do lol

[kartish]

I suppose we are NTNP, but we haven't really talked about trying for a sibling. I'd like the age spacing to be closer around 2-3 years apart, so that would mean actually TTC soon. We'll see though. Some days I'm ready to be pregnant again, and some days I'm OAD, lol.

[seamonster]

I too have baby fever. But want to wait until after the move this summer to start trying. H is coming around to having a second. I'd like them between 2-3 years apart. And the second would be it.

Part of my baby fever is that I'm so emotional about how big DS has gotten. He's still my tiny baby in so many ways and then he's my toddler who's growing up way too fast.

[maryxc1]

My two kids are 2y9m apart, and I am very happy with that spacing so far. We always planned on 2 years apart, but this whole parenting thing was a whole lot harder than we anticipated. DS was almost two before we decided we could probably handle this again. DS was old enough that he understood a lot of what was going on. He still talks about when DD was in my tummy, coming to the hospital to meet her, etc. They don't play great together a lot of the time now that DD is in to everything, but I'm hoping that is more to do with the fact that she is one and doesn't play by the rules yet and less to do with them being too far apart.

[dreemkin]

Hello 2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)! Good to hear from you. Sorry about the asthma. My girls are 2y1m apart and I love it. We planned on them being even closer but that didn't work out (early mc)

My resoning between them being close in age: I am 31 and I really wanted to be done sooner than later. And I think we are "2 and thru". Anyway, two years is great because there is some space in between (especially when school rolls around) and I cat already tell they are going to be best buds. I think everyone has different views based on their experiences with siblings though.

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

I'm a twin and I didn't think it was as great as most lol (I'm mean?!). If we try in sept we are looking at 27 mo + so I think that's good

[lilyelayne]

Apr 23, 2016 18:59:12 GMT -5 2mrsks (mrs&mrsk) said:

I'm a twin and I didn't think it was as great as most lol (I'm mean?!). If we try in sept we are looking at 27 mo + so I think that's good

Nosy question but do you think you or your wife will carry the next one? I thought you'd mentioned she might?

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

Apr 23, 2016 19:16:04 GMT -5 lilyelayne said:

Apr 23, 2016 18:59:12 GMT -5 2mrsks (mrs&mrsk) said:

I'm a twin and I didn't think it was as great as most lol (I'm mean?!). If we try in sept we are looking at 27 mo + so I think that's good

Nosy question but do you think you or your wife will carry the next one? I thought you'd mentioned she might?

Probably me - it worked out with our jobs and the pregnancy / delivery last time so... Why not lol

[dreemkin]

Apr 23, 2016 18:59:12 GMT -5 2mrsks (mrs&mrsk) said:

I'm a twin and I didn't think it was as great as most lol (I'm mean?!). If we try in sept we are looking at 27 mo + so I think that's good

So you're the evil twin! I kid, I kid

[dreemkin]

Honestly, I wish that my DH could carry a next one

[mishka29]

My DD's are 23 months and 3 weeks apart lol. We were aiming for 2 years apart and that was the plan before we even started trying for number 1. So we never really stopped to consider if we were ready for #2 it was just go time lol

That being said, if we had had a lot of craziness going on that may have stopped us from plowing ahead (no pun intended).

[agm04]

Summary: we're hoping for just over 2 years apart.

DH and I were just talking about this last night. My sister and I are 20 months apart, and have always been the best of friends. I always thought I wanted that for my kids. In reality, I have so many mixed feelings about a 2nd! The idea of dividing my attention makes me sad, extra chaos is scary, taking more time off work, living through the first year again...eeeeeek. What really surprised me is the sentiment that others have expressed - if I'm only having two babies, I want to prolong the baby phase as long as possible! I thought I'd want to get it over with (diapers, not sleeping, etc.), but the idea of it being over makes me sad now.

I guess you could say we're NTNP. We weren't trying for DD, and I don't think we would have ever felt totally ready, so part of me hopes it just happens. Barring a happy accident, I think the current plan is to try starting after (or at, lol) my SIL's wedding in July. I'm in the wedding and really don't want to be pregnant, sick, etc. during all the traveling and prep. It gives me a little time to get my exercise routine and body strong/consistent so I can keep it up during pregnancy.

There's also this overriding feeling of guilt for having the luxury of "timing" it when so many of my friends have had so much trouble, mixed with fear that we'll have trouble this time, too. SO MANY FEELS!

[kaydee0402]

Our original plan was to try again in November so DS would be two when the baby is born and could hopefully somewhat understand what's going on.

But you know what they say, tell God your plans and watch him laugh.

Due to three years of IF, I wasn't on bc after DS, and we got our surprise BFP last week. Baby Uh Oh will be here in December, the month after we planned to start trying, and Baby and DS will be 21 months apart. I'm nervous about having two under two, but at least it won't be for long!

My advice? Just go for it. And know that you have an awesome community here to lean on.

[dreemkin]

agm04 I felt the SAME way about a second. But it's really true: love doesn't divide, it multiplies. I wanted to get the pregnant/newborn phase over with sooner than prolonging it. I do not enjoy the newborn phase. But now that we won't be having another one, I am sad to think we'll never have a tiny, squish again. It's all a very emotional business

[agm04]

kaydee0402 CONGRATS!!! so exciting.

dreemkin I have to believe that's true, and just impossible to understand until you're in it - like so much of this parenting stuff! It certainly is emotional stuff!

[mmarie]

Congrats @kaydee0402

[taberbtb]

dreemkin you read my mind exactly. Those are my feelings. I cannot wait though to move on from the pregnant/newborn phase. To think I will never go through this part again gives me joy, but I would also like to freeze time forever in about a year from now