Rant:Fck you husband!

[redlipz]

I'm just venting so you don't gotta read all this(:

Ok so my husband wakes up at 430 to go to work and works 10 hour days 5 days a week. He gets home, showers, has dinner and KOs on the couch till 9:30 when he gets stuff ready for the next day n then goes to bed.

We have a 4 year old and a 3 year old and obviously pregnant with our 3rd.

Since he works so early im the one who gets all the kids stuff ready, get them ready, bathe, feed, entertain them, do arts n crafts, teach them stuff, make dinner, ect. I also work at 5 different spas so I'm the one who gets them to the babysitter and sometimes he picks them up if I'm out late. They also stay with him on Saturdays since he is off. But for the most part I'm the one who is with them the most and cater to their every need even if there's a day like today where I don't go to work im the one who does everything for them so I don't get any real days off. Today I happen to just say that I need a break and he flipped the fuck out on me telling me I don't do shit and told me to leave if I need a break and what not.

Apparently I'm not allowed to need a break because I don't work 10 hour days and therefore I don't do shit. This mans idea of watching the kids is turning on the tv for them in one room and him being in another. And when they're hungry he goes gets them kids meals or frozen foods. Oh and most times when he gets them at the sitters or he's with them on Saturdays he just heads to his parents house and let's his mom watch them and play with them, easy way out.

He has played soccer his whole life and usually goes to practice on Fridays and games on Sunday's so those are his "me" times but I just seem to get none. I'm physically and mentally exhausted and just need to recharge and he always tells me to go out n stuff but today when I just said that I need to, he flipped out. Ugh I wish I could trade places with him for a freakin week so he can go ahead and tell me I don't do anything and be a jerk when I feel like I need a break.

I think I liked him better when he had his other job and wasn't going to work so early, now I just feel like it's just me and the kids most days.

Rant over. Thanks for getting this far if you did.

[daydreamernyc]

Everyone needs a break, on a regular basis so don't feel bad about that at all. Do you have any hobbies? Or activities you would like to do outside of the house? Perhaps you can follow his lead by having a structured time each week where you leave to go do something (yoga, book club, mommy's group, etc). That way it's on the calendar and it's something he can plan for as well.

[turtletyme]

Sounds like you need some "me" time and maybe you two should discuss your responsibilities sometime when he is not tired, in a bad mood, etc. I think most of the time when guys snap like that, it's because they're feeling crappy or overwhelmed in the moment and it's not actually how they feel about all of the work you are OBVIOUSLY doing.

Sending you a big hug!

[carolyngrace]

Sorry, sounds like this fight was no fun! Even without kids (yet) my DH and I have had similar fights. When we're both exhausted and I ask him to do something, then we fight about who is working harder and whose needs should be met first.

Once you've both calmed down a bit it seems like a good opportunity to talk about how to re-structure your roles a bit. People tend to get used to a routine (especially men!) and it can triggers some anxiety and fear to think about changing. Sounds like both your DH and you are exhausted at times (maybe for different reasons), but in a calmer state you should be able to validate that for each other, not argue about who has it worse. Good luck