I will pretty much do everything basically the same...no one knows when we're in labor (except for my mom who will watch the girls). A few visitors at the hospital, then a few short visitors at home. I will impart on DH that his family is not to be intrusive, and can come bring dinner and see baby, but not eat dinner here as well. I will not allow any overnight visitors.
I will hog the baby, and I will not feel bad about it.
If visitors do overstay their welcome, I will disappear with baby to the bedroom.
I will have to be more relaxed with sleep schedules with this baby...with two older sisters we will need to be more flexible if we ever want to leave the house.
babyzebra totally agree about the cervical checks. I didn't do them last time as well. It makes no difference at 36w or 39w the effacement and such. Labor starts when labor starts.
Post by carolinaheart on Apr 25, 2016 21:41:38 GMT -5
Ladies, can I ask why no cervical checks? I know I probably sound ignorant but I always thought they were just something that was done and not really a question.
Post by pdxlaurens on Apr 25, 2016 21:43:49 GMT -5
shoogars, yes to bringing dinner but not staying for it!
A lot of you shared my visitor feelings. Direct family only in the hospital and they need to call first and keep it brief. I was in labor for 38 hours before my c section and was so exhausted and so overwhelmed when 9 people showed up together the next morning. At the house they can call and stop by on our schedule. Briefly. No out of town visitors for 3 weeks (because they will want to hang out all day every day and want to be entertained) and after 3 weeks they still can't stay at our house. My mom is local and she thinks I'm being bitchy to the in laws but this is self preservation. I also really want breastfeeding to work which means lots of topless time and I couldn't do that last time when they were waiting at the house when we got home and stayed for several days. As much as I want breastfeeding to work I will not exclusively pump again. 5 months fighting for a supply and waking up MOTN when the baby wasn't even up just to pump was brutal. I still had to formula supplement and I'll do so without regret this time and make the full switch sooner if needed. That time will belong to DS1 and LO and not the damn pump. Those are my biggies. Visitor regulation and being less stressed about feeding LO. If he eats and gains weight and everything I'll be content.
Ladies, can I ask why no cervical checks? I know I probably sound ignorant but I always thought they were just something that was done and not really a question.
If you haven't had any contractions, there's not much of a need to check you at 36 weeks. It just hurts and they say, well you're still closed. If you're higher risk, or have been having PTL, I can see them being needed.
Ladies, can I ask why no cervical checks? I know I probably sound ignorant but I always thought they were just something that was done and not really a question.
If you haven't had any contractions, there's not much of a need to check you at 36 weeks. It just hurts and they say, well you're still closed. If you're higher risk, or have been having PTL, I can see them being needed.
Yes, they hurt quite a bit for me. And it's a hand up your vag. I had had no contractions and was at 0 until induction, too. So I feel kind of indignant about them now.
On the same note, I was checked so much during labor that that was one of the causes of my massive infection post partum. I never was checked prior to labor. I deferred. My OB even stated it wasn't going to change the course of what was going on.
Post by greysonsmom on Apr 25, 2016 22:17:30 GMT -5
I will not be staying two nights in the hospital unless there is a medical reason to keep us there. My back was killing me from the hospital bed and I could taking someone coming into the room every few hours. I couldn't wait to get home.
I actually really liked being in the hospital, I just felt overwhelmed to leave because I feel like we didn't get time to process/ask all the questions I wanted, etc. I even remember having some visitors in our room ( a couple) and my doctor came in and asked how my bleeding was. I really wanted to talk to her about it but they didn't get the clue that they should step out and it was just really awkward and I didn't get to have a convo with my doctor.
Cervical checks HURT!!! I was also 2-3cm dilated for weeks and still had to be induced. They kept saying, "we're sure we'll see you tonight, we can feel the baby's head and you're also 80% effaced." Didn't matter. However, that being said, I'm so curious, so I'm sure I'll want to know. Not sure what I'll do yet.
Ladies, can I ask why no cervical checks? I know I probably sound ignorant but I always thought they were just something that was done and not really a question.
Because they hurt a lot (at least for me) and made me bleed quite a bit
This is a great thread. I am not sure I have anything original, but here's my list:
1. I won't stress about EBF/Pumping/Formula - is she fed without ill effects? yes? that's a win.
2. I won't force myself to pump when I go back to work. It put me in a really bad place and I don't want to go back there.
3. I will be more flexible with sleep. Getting DS out of the RnP was a little bit of hell, because I hated to give up good sleep. It would have been easier to start him in his crib sooner, which I hope to do with DD.
4. I will let people help me. Help as MUCH as you want, kind friends and family.
5. I will be better about being patient with DH - this is hard on him too, which is easy to forget in a sleep deprived nursing fog.
I must be in the minority here but cervical checks were NBD for me. They didn't hurt at all. I do agree that they really are unnecessary but there was no pain for me.
My doctor doesn't do cervical checks until your due date. When I was pregnant with DD I didn't have one until 41 weeks.
I'll be in the minority for this one, I'll bed share from day one. When I had DS1, I tried to get him to sleep in a bassinet and he wouldn't sleep in one. We tried for like 3 weeks and I was only getting a few hours of sleep, sometimes only getting an hour and a half, at night. Once we started bed sharing, we got some sleep. I started bed sharing with DD as soon as she got home from the hospital and we got some sleep. I'll do the same with this baby. I exclusively breastfed and it was just easier to have them right next to me.
We had a lot of visitors at the hospital after having DS and it was too much. I was exhausted and trying to breastfeed and people would stay for a while. When I had DD, just my family came to the hospital and DH's parents. Everyone else waited until we were ready and came to our house. I'm assuming we won't get too many visitors this time, too. It seems like people don't care as much after the first baby. I'm fine with that. If someone is staying too long visiting, I'll just whip my boob out. That usually makes people uncomfortable.
Cervical checks didn't bother me too much, but holy hell I remember getting my membranes swept because I practically crawled up the table and wanted to scream it hurt so bad. It definitely helped to kick-start my labor, but it's something that I most likely will not repeat this time.
So I know I'm a FTM and all and high-risk because of multiples, but I'm going to leave my opinion here anyway. I've had bi-weekly cervical measurements since week 18 with the vag-cam. No hands. Those are seriously NBD. I'm very thankful that I had them because that's how they caught my preterm labor so quickly. When I got to the hospital I was contracting pretty regularly and literally had NO IDEA that it was happening. I thought my belly got tight every now and then from the babies stretching. There was no pain or cramping involved and yet I was contracting. So anyway, I'm not trying to sway anybody in favor of cervical checks, but I just thought I'd leave my two cents. I'm glad my doctor required me to have them.
I don't enjoy the process of having a cervical check, but I like knowing. I will say they are uncomfortable when done in the office by my male OB, but are terrible when done by the nurses in the hospital. I wondered if it has to do with my OB having longer fingers so less hand gets shoved up there. Sorry, that was kind of gross, but I've always wondered...
I'm all for cervical checks with a vag cam, something about them sticking their hand up there though was awful to me. I got my membranes swept also soultrane, and I remember that pain being excruciating, haha! She asked if I wanted dot do checks this time and I said I wasn't sure yet, she said it didn't hurt as much the second time around.
For me cervical checks hurt a decent amount, but not unbearable. I don't think I had them until 37 weeks last time. The doctor suggested them so I went with it and they were pretty accurate as far as when they said we don't think you'll make it to your apt. next week I didn't. I know there was a risk of infection, but it seemed so small that curiosity won out. I liked knowing where I stood. At the hospital, I felt like they weren't checking me enough. I was begging for more checks because I just wanted them to say okay, push....but that could have been lack of medication talking.
The only cervical check I had were while I was in labor and the pitocin made them unbearable. I was yelping in pain. I think the nurse just did a shitty job and the pit made things extra sensitive. Hated it. Glad I won't be going through that again.
babyzebra, I'm totally with you on pumping. I breastfed a baby who wanted to be fed every 2 hours for months and ended up pumping so DH could take a MOTN feed and looking back at it, that was really stupid. We started supplementing with formula a few months in and it saved my sanity. I really, really hated pumping and won't do that again.
This time round - Definitely less stress about BF/formula - it really doesn't matter as long as the baby isn't hungry. We will share the nights again but do it earlier - we just got no sleep at all for the first month until we worked out a schedule for us (I'd go to bed at 8, DH would stay up until 1am or so and then I'd be in charge. In separate rooms so everyone gets some sleep!). If we have a better sleeper, of course that won't be necessary but our first was a terrible sleeper and we all went a bit insane.
I will let people help. We live overseas so don't have regular help, but will have weeks with family around. I was really possessive last time and didn't take much help but with 2 in the house I know I'll need to let go!
I will start exercising sooner. I've really done a terrible job with this since having my daughter and I am determined to be better this time around.
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