Post by expatmama11 on May 22, 2016 23:05:25 GMT -5
We started sleep training Friday night. I am not kidding when I say it was incredibly difficult to start the process. I talked myself out of it many times but ultimately H and I decided it was necessary. We also discussed with pediatrician at 6 month appointment.
Cam could not sleep without us for naps or night. I was ending up in bed at 8pm every night and not moving at nap time.
We followed the sleep sense program, which is ultimately letting the baby cry with checking on him. You can do an in room method where you slowly move away from the crib but we chose not to do that one.
Friday night was bad. It is definitely hard to hear your baby cry. You need a strong partner if you really want to do this successfully. H had to be the one to go in for comforting bc I would have picked Cam up to cuddle. I know that, I know me. I was in tears a lot that night and second guessed myself many times.
Saturday and Sunday night were incredible. A little crying Saturday and zero crying on Sunday, sleeping 12 hours!! When he woke up Sunday morning at 730 he didn't cry. I just went and picked him up, it was so amazing.
Naps are a different story. Some go well, many do not. We are still working on that but can see progress. He actually fell asleep in his pack n play while we were outside yesterday. You are supposed to make them sleep in crib but I just went with it. He has NEVER, EVER, fallen asleep without assistance. I looked over and he was sleeping. H and I were ecstatic.
Yes, it's hard. No, it's not for everyone but I am so glad we started this process. I know we will have set backs and it will be a long process but for us it has already been worth it. Our family can now sleep comfortably.
Post by expatmama11 on May 23, 2016 0:14:55 GMT -5
Tips....
Routine and consistency are key!!
Our night routine goes like this: 7pm Bath, books, sleep sack, and music with bottle. I do not let him fall asleep while drinking the bottle. I then sing Twinkle Twinkle while rocking him and then again when I lay him in the crib. I kiss him and tell him it's sleepy time, I love him, and I will see him in the morning. I then walk out of the room. All of this takes 20-30 minutes depending on how quickly he drinks the bottle. According to Sleep Sense, routine should not be any longer than 30 minutes.
I don't give him a pacifier but decided to put several in the crib so he could use if he wanted to. He plays with them sometimes but doesn't put in his mouth. I also decided to put a small elephant in there too, he does play with it a little.
I'm still working out a nap routine as I don't want a long one. Need to get that figured out today.
I want to start this this weekend when I have three days off. How do you decide if night time wake ups merit a feeding or not? Link to any of the sources you guys used?
I want to start this this weekend when I have three days off. How do you decide if night time wake ups merit a feeding or not? Link to any of the sources you guys used?
I made an arbitrary rule -- if it was four hours or longer, I would feed him. Because I know he can go four hours during the day without eating, though I generally feed him a bit more often. But I knew he wasn't really hungry every 90 min -- 2 hrs, especially because he'd often fall asleep while nursing. One key of sleep training for us was not letting him fall asleep while nursing. So he'd have to go into his crib awake every time.
I have a pdf of the book I used. Want me to email it to you?
My friend who did the program successfully also used the four hour rule as well.
If we had continued with wake ups we were going to implement a 12-3 rule. If he had woken up in those hours we would have fed him. I'm sure if I was still nursing versus pumping/giving bottles we would have more of an issue dropping a night feeding.
I actually may end up pumping in the middle of the night just bc I am struggling to keep up my supply.
I want to start this this weekend when I have three days off. How do you decide if night time wake ups merit a feeding or not? Link to any of the sources you guys used?
I made an arbitrary rule -- if it was four hours or longer, I would feed him. Because I know he can go four hours during the day without eating, though I generally feed him a bit more often. But I knew he wasn't really hungry every 90 min -- 2 hrs, especially because he'd often fall asleep while nursing. One key of sleep training for us was not letting him fall asleep while nursing. So he'd have to go into his crib awake every time.
I have a pdf of the book I used. Want me to email it to you?
Yes please! I'll message you my email in a bit from my computer
I'm at a loss with this sleep, or lack there of, situation we have going on.
We have a strict schedule and routine that we are very consistent with, did with our first and it was awesome. She doesn't nap at daycare, maybe an hour total over a couple cat naps, but she isn't pissy or crying. She just chills and is happy. At home on the weekends I get her down w/o a fuss for a 2-3hr nap every Sat & Sun. At night is a whole new ball game. She is up 2-3x every night for about an hour each time. It's just long enough that I will nurse her each time. We try the pacifier, which has marginally helped. She is just bad enough that it's draining, but not so horrible that I am willing to take measures I have sworn against (CIO, which I don't judge anybody who does. I'm in this thread for a reason.). I try and let her fuss for 5-10mins before going in. She rarely just starts screaming for awhile. It's like she tries really hard to get back to sleep herself and then when she can't she gets mad. In the middle of thee night I will nurse her and she falls right to sleep, but wakes up mad when I try and put her down for awhile. When I do this at bedtime she goes right to sleep, like the routine does help because she knows it's time to go to sleep. We use to put her down awake and she would just go to sleep, but since the 4 month sleep regression there is very little ability to self soothe.
ETA: Before the 4m sleep regression she was waking 1-2x a night and I could just nurse her and put her back down. She has never truly been able to sleep all night. I would love to just get back to getting up once to nurse and get her back down.
Unknown, I could have written that exact post. Before 4m she was sleeping through with the occasional wakeup - nurse - back to sleep. Then wham! Now we're up at least 3 times per night. She also wakes after one sleep cycle when she first goes down, so I'm constantly going back in about an hour later to help her back to sleep again. She's still in our room and I wasn't planning to move her until 6m. I have a lot of anxiety about it still. Are all your babes in their own rooms?
Ellie was also sleeping through the nights before her 4m regression, which seemed short, but she never really totally bounced back. She went from sleeping 10-12 hours for her first stretch to 5-6. I mean, I know a lot of people would be happy with that, but it's tough when you already know the grass is greener. Plus after that first stretch she's not really going back to sleep. Just restless until about 5-6am when she gets up for the day.
DD has been in her crib since a week old. It took a lot of work to get her there. She wouldn't sleep in her crib at all for awhile, but I just kept at it until she did.
I want to start this this weekend when I have three days off. How do you decide if night time wake ups merit a feeding or not? Link to any of the sources you guys used?
I made an arbitrary rule -- if it was four hours or longer, I would feed him. Because I know he can go four hours during the day without eating, though I generally feed him a bit more often. But I knew he wasn't really hungry every 90 min -- 2 hrs, especially because he'd often fall asleep while nursing. One key of sleep training for us was not letting him fall asleep while nursing. So he'd have to go into his crib awake every time.
I have a pdf of the book I used. Want me to email it to you?
Ellie was also sleeping through the nights before her 4m regression, which seemed short, but she never really totally bounced back. She went from sleeping 10-12 hours for her first stretch to 5-6. I mean, I know a lot of people would be happy with that, but it's tough when you already know the grass is greener. Plus after that first stretch she's not really going back to sleep. Just restless until about 5-6am when she gets up for the day.
Someone said it on another thread, everyone is different about how much sleep they need. One person might be good with 3-4 hours of sleep and someone else needs 8. To me, there is no right or wrong.
The one thing I can tell you though is to be sure your problem is big enough for you to push through with your plan. It is incredibly difficult and you do have to be committed to it. I am emotionally drained right now.
Also, if you do think she is teething and that is her sleep issue, you may end up with a really big fight.
Lurking from N15 and wondering if y'all would mind if I joined you in this thread because there is not a lot of sleep training happening on my BMB!
We started Ferber on Friday night, and it took me about a month to prep myself to start sleep training. Even though we had a good bedtime routine, he went down drowsy but awake, and we were consistently feeding only 1x/night we still had eleventy night wake ups and paci replacements, and I would end up moving him to the RNP at some point.
Friday night was tough, Saturday was amazing and he STTN, last night was bad from 11-1, and we'll see how tonight goes, but he did go down well.
Post by expatmama11 on May 24, 2016 7:49:52 GMT -5
Naps have been our biggest issue. We had some successes today though. He took two 30 minutes naps in his crib. I think I was putting him down too early before, so now am shooting for around 3 hours after he wakes in the morning for his first nap.
I am starting to wonder if I'm really te problem here. Since she still sleeps right next to me I hear every sound. I'm wondering if some of those times she'd just go back to sleep on her own if I didn't pick her up. I might not even know she woke at all of she was in her room. Last night she went down drowsy and slept three 4 hour stretches. She tried to wake up for the day at 5, which is when I wake for school, but I don't want her up til 6, so I left her and just patted and shush ed occasionally and she eventually went back to sleep for a bit. So far there have been minimal tears, so I'm hoping that holds out. We'll see how things go when we transition to the nursery in a couple weeks.
Post by expatmama11 on May 24, 2016 13:35:05 GMT -5
Cam went down tonight with zero crying and within 5 minutes of being put in his crib. I'm still in complete shock at how well this is all going for bedtime. I expect it to go bad again at some point but am overall with the results.
We're doing a version of fading. Right now I'm by her bed watching her fall asleep. As a bit of a child development nerd, it's actually kind of fascinating to watch her as she goes through the stages of falling asleep. I am constantly amazed how they change.
I am starting to wonder if I'm really te problem here. Since she still sleeps right next to me I hear every sound. I'm wondering if some of those times she'd just go back to sleep on her own if I didn't pick her up. I might not even know she woke at all of she was in her room. Last night she went down drowsy and slept three 4 hour stretches. She tried to wake up for the day at 5, which is when I wake for school, but I don't want her up til 6, so I left her and just patted and shush ed occasionally and she eventually went back to sleep for a bit. So far there have been minimal tears, so I'm hoping that holds out. We'll see how things go when we transition to the nursery in a couple weeks.
**lurking on this thread**
I moved DD to her crib for this exact reason. She made so much noise at night sleeping by my bed and woke me up a lot. It helped me sleep better.
I am starting to wonder if I'm really te problem here. Since she still sleeps right next to me I hear every sound. I'm wondering if some of those times she'd just go back to sleep on her own if I didn't pick her up. I might not even know she woke at all of she was in her room. Last night she went down drowsy and slept three 4 hour stretches. She tried to wake up for the day at 5, which is when I wake for school, but I don't want her up til 6, so I left her and just patted and shush ed occasionally and she eventually went back to sleep for a bit. So far there have been minimal tears, so I'm hoping that holds out. We'll see how things go when we transition to the nursery in a couple weeks.
With DS I noticed he was a noisy sleeper. He would always wake and sometimes whine, but he would always fall back asleep by the time I got to his room. I mean, I know I wake in the night and have to change positions and whatnot, I'm sure it's the same for them.
We're doing a version of fading. Right now I'm by her bed watching her fall asleep. As a bit of a child development nerd, it's actually kind of fascinating to watch her as she goes through the stages of falling asleep. I am constantly amazed how they change.
Are you finding it working well? How is she with night wake ups?
We haven't started sleep training yet. Waiting for her to not be sick. We did do it with DD1 when she was 14 months and I will say that I think we waited way too long which made it more difficult. So I think you all have the right idea doing it early!
There's actually a thread over on Parenting about that news story. Apparently the NYT did an article on sleep training and the tv stations picked it up. I'll link the thread if I ever get to a computer today. I think the ladies on Parenting are generally more open minded about things like sleep training when compared to some of the other boards here and usually have some good points to make. I haven't read the article yet.
We haven't started sleep training yet. Waiting for her to not be sick. We did do it with DD1 when she was 14 months and I will say that I think we waited way too long which made it more difficult. So I think you all have the right idea doing it early!
There's actually a thread over on Parenting about that news story. Apparently the NYT did an article on sleep training and the tv stations picked it up. I'll link the thread if I ever get to a computer today. I think the ladies on Parenting are generally more open minded about things like sleep training when compared to some of the other boards here and usually have some good points to make. I haven't read the article yet.
My thoughts were also that doing it early was the best idea. I can only imagine how hard an almost toddler would be to sleep train. I have definitively struggled plenty of times but as he takes his 3rd nap today, in the crib, I know it's been for the best. (Only for 30 minutes but it's still progress)
We have actually managed to not have him cry that often either which is nice. If he is tired he will go down, I think many times I was trying to get him to nap when he wasn't quite ready yet.
We're doing a version of fading. Right now I'm by her bed watching her fall asleep. As a bit of a child development nerd, it's actually kind of fascinating to watch her as she goes through the stages of falling asleep. I am constantly amazed how they change.
Are you finding it working well? How is she with night wake ups?
So far she's only woken twice per night. But again, sometimes I wonder if I waited a bit if she would go back to sleep and maybe she's not fully awake, so there's that. Also, TBH, she's still in the cosleeper so I am still by her bed in the middle of the night, just not awake and probably not all that visible. I decided to go ahead and work on drowsy but awake now while she's in our room and then see how it goes when she transfers to the crib in a few weeks. I'm hoping it will make the transition easier and less tears.
I just want to chime in here and say it's absolutely okay to not sleep train, and it's absolutely okay to not want to sleep train. I find the people with positive sleep training experience on TCF are more vocal, and it may lead people (especially first time parents) to think they are doing it "wrong" if they don't. You may not need to sleep train, you may not want to, you may have a child who you know won't respond to it, and that's all okay. You may also try sleep training and then realize it's not for you and that's also fine. This is very much an area where you do what's right for your family and don't feel pressured to go against what you feel.
I guess it all really hinges on your definition of "sleep training". We're not doing CIO or Ferber or anything in its classic form. I am just working with her to practice skills she is naturally developing - falling asleep without help being the main one. And I appreciate having a place to discuss how things are going and get feedback. I don't think anyone on this thread is intending to pressure anyone into sleep training, just have the opportunity to talk about what is/isn't working for our families. No soapboxes here...hopefully.
I think you're right, lormor, that it's not for everyone. Neither is cloth diapering, breast feeding, staying at home, or any of the other "ideals" we set up in our minds. The mantra should always be "Every baby is different. Every family is different. Do what works for you." I know I often fall into the comparison trap, thinking my baby needs to be doing XYZ like some other baby. But in the end she's her own person and so am I, and we're happy and she's healthy and that's what matters.
Post by obscurereference on May 25, 2016 21:38:25 GMT -5
lormor This thread was made due to pressure to NOT talk about sleep training. I feel the exact opposite of you. I feel that people who sleep train are shamed by those who don't. If you don't agree with it, that's fine, you do you. This thread is easily avoided.
lormor This thread was made due to pressure to NOT talk about sleep training. I feel the exact opposite of you. I feel that people who sleep train are shamed by those who don't. If you don't agree with it, that's fine, you do you. This thread is easily avoided.
lormor I think, because you are not a regular on our board, you may have thought the reason for creating the thread was to encourage sleep training. In fact, it was to prevent people who are very against it from being forced to see conversations in general posts.
People that are interested are able to post on this thread without fear of upsetting someone in a Randoms thread. Now, if someone sees what's written here, they are choosing it.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.