Ask a Grad!

[westiemom]

Oct 26, 2016 7:58:09 GMT -5 MellyKnu said:

Oct 26, 2016 4:14:00 GMT -5 westiemom said:

I took my first one the second I got to the recovery room. I pooped that night and it wasn't bad at all. I never had any issues with pooping and pain and I had a second degree tear and tore my clit in half (yep).

What?! I've never heard of this! Feel free to not answer this, but does it feel normal now? Like during sexy time? Or did you have nerve damage? Just curious...

All is well now (thank God) but it took a few months. My OB swore she would do a stellar job putting it back together and I guess she did. It may even be a little better...

I was so shocked though that was the first thing out of my mouth when my family walked in. I didn't even show them the baby! My poor dad. 😂

[westiemom]

Oct 26, 2016 8:12:39 GMT -5 Winnifred said:

Did anyone go into labor unsure of whether or not you wanted an epidural? Can you tell me more about how things went during labor, then?

Initially I just figured I'd get one, but now I'm a lot more focused on trying to limit the medication they'll be giving me and really trying to get through as much of labor with coping techniques as I possibly can. I'm thinking that I'll ask for it at a certain point if I cannot handle the pain any longer. In a way, that plan makes me nervous too because I'm sure I won't be in my right mind and my H won't know what to do, he'll probably just want me to get the epidural so I can relax.

Any experiences to share with this? I'm trying to make sure he understands what I want/need but I'm also not even sure how I'll feel when things are really happening!

I'm not the best person to answer because I said I wasn't sure about the epidural but I think deep down I planned to get one. DH was so pro epidural I have no doubt he would have demanded one had I tried to go without and then wavered. He couldn't stand the thought of seeing me in pain.

That being said, I was determined to go until I couldn't anymore before asking for one. The time was CLEAR. I couldn't focus on working through the pain anymore and started to kind of panic. I asked for it and it took about 45 mins to get. Those 45 mins were tough.

My epidural never fully worked though it did help. I was still in a good amount of pain and feeling everything but it definitely helped at the end when they were stitching everything up. I was happy to have a little extra assistance there.

[westiemom]

Oct 26, 2016 8:59:46 GMT -5 @wineandcupcakes said:

Oct 26, 2016 8:13:28 GMT -5 westiemom said:

All is well now (thank God) but it took a few months. My OB swore she would do a stellar job putting it back together and I guess she did. It may even be a little better...

I was so shocked though that was the first thing out of my mouth when my family walked in. I didn't even show them the baby! My poor dad. 😂

DH and his friend always joke about asking the doctor to "throw in an extra stitch" but none of them have actually had the balls to say it jokingly when their wives have been in labor.

Your story horrifies me. I'm so happy you and your clitoris are intact again. I can't even imagine.

Haha to the extra stitch. I always joked about that to DH! Don't worry though, it really wasn't a bad recovery at all. I didn't even need pain meds afterwards.

[Amelia]

Oct 26, 2016 8:12:39 GMT -5 Winnifred said:

Did anyone go into labor unsure of whether or not you wanted an epidural? Can you tell me more about how things went during labor, then?

Initially I just figured I'd get one, but now I'm a lot more focused on trying to limit the medication they'll be giving me and really trying to get through as much of labor with coping techniques as I possibly can. I'm thinking that I'll ask for it at a certain point if I cannot handle the pain any longer. In a way, that plan makes me nervous too because I'm sure I won't be in my right mind and my H won't know what to do, he'll probably just want me to get the epidural so I can relax.

Any experiences to share with this? I'm trying to make sure he understands what I want/need but I'm also not even sure how I'll feel when things are really happening!

I wanted to go unmedicated, mainly because I wanted to avoid a catheter (history of UTIs) and I didn't like the idea of being confined to the bed with an epidural. But I left myself open to rolling with the punches, so to speak, and getting an epidural if I felt I needed it.
My water broke and I didn't go into labor on my own, so I wound up on pitocin. I handled it fine at first with breathing and relaxation techniques, but the midwife had to keep ramping up the pitocin to establish a good pattern of contractions, and it became unbearable for me. Add to that the fact that I wasn't dilating, and the midwife recommended I go ahead with the epidural, if I wanted to. I had to wait about an hour for it, since the anesthesiologist was involved with a C-section. I think they kept the dose light. It took away the pain, but I still had sensation and could feel pressure, so I knew when I needed to push. That was super helpful. Also, I was able to (sort of) move my legs, so I delivered on my side. I think that helped to minimize tearing for me. I was up and moving (slowly, with help from nurses/DH) about an hour after delivery.
Honestly, the best part of the epidural was that it relaxed me, and I started dilating after receiving it. My body was so tense from the pain of the non-stop pitocin contractions, it couldn't do what it needed to do.
I told DH beforehand that, if I said I wanted the epidural, it seriously meant I wanted the epidural...no need to try to talk me out of it at that point. I'm pretty strong-willed, but he was concerned that he may need to "talk me down" from an intervention I would have liked to avoid. We had a discussion beforehand regarding how I wanted to handle any possible interventions/contingencies, and that helped him.

[Amelia]

Oct 26, 2016 8:13:28 GMT -5 westiemom said:

Oct 26, 2016 7:58:09 GMT -5 MellyKnu said:

What?! I've never heard of this! Feel free to not answer this, but does it feel normal now? Like during sexy time? Or did you have nerve damage? Just curious...

All is well now (thank God) but it took a few months. My OB swore she would do a stellar job putting it back together and I guess she did. It may even be a little better...

I was so shocked though that was the first thing out of my mouth when my family walked in. I didn't even show them the baby! My poor dad. 😂

😱
I've never...I mean, that's just...ummm, owww??
Glad your OB has mad sewing skills...

[Amelia]

Oct 25, 2016 21:47:31 GMT -5 westiemom said:

Well- if no PAIFers have questions- can I ask?

I'd like a backpack style diaper bag recommendation. Anyone have one they love? DD basically lives in her ergo lately and though I loooove my Skip Hop Chelsea, I'd like a backpack for ergo wearing days.

I have the Skip Hop backpack, and it does fine for most outings. DH has the DadGear backpack, and that is the main one we use. It is big, but I've had no problems using it while carrying CL. Lots of useful pockets, and a wipes pouch that is accessible from the outside = huge bonus points. This is typically the only bag we use for CL's stuff for overnight trips.

[Winnifred]

westiemom & Amelia, thanks so much for sharing your stories. I think both of them were reminders for me that labor may not go how I plan anyway. I really think DH will have a hard time watching me in pain, although it's not his first rodeo with everything we've been through with IVF and such. My egg retrieval with light medication was extremely, extremely painful... but that only lasted maybe 20 minutes! Hopefully I'll be able to get as far as I can and not feel badly if I end up opting for the meds!

[tikoberry99]

Oct 26, 2016 0:59:08 GMT -5 emilie said:

I've got a TMI question for you grads. So I honestly think I'm dreading post-birth pooping more than labor. I've heard that taking a stool softener can help make this a little less horrible. So when do you start taking it? In labor? After birth? Days or weeks before your EDD?

I started taking stool softener the day of my c section and took it for a few days after. I had no prob pooping post birth!

[tikoberry99]

Oct 26, 2016 0:05:22 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

Ok ladies here's one for you...

After getting home with your brand new squish, especially FTM's, is there anything you realized would've made the first few days/weeks easier if you had prepared/done/bought before baby arrived?

Take home a bunch of the hospital underwear. I wore them for weeks post c section. I still have some left over that I didn't use.

[westiemom]

Also, I loved depends post birth. I wore the hospital undies at the hospital and depends for the next few days at home. They weren't as bulky and didn't show through my yoga pants and I felt more secure. I wasn't ready for a pad yet!

[daydreamsam]

Oct 26, 2016 0:05:22 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

Ok ladies here's one for you...

After getting home with your brand new squish, especially FTM's, is there anything you realized would've made the first few days/weeks easier if you had prepared/done/bought before baby arrived?

If you are breastfeeding: I wish I had researched just how much lanolin/nipple butter I was going to need (later you don't use as much but in the beginning you put that ish on a lot). I used it up the first three days home so thank God for Ama.zon. I just looked back to see what was in that order (with over night shipping) and it was: Lanolin, nipple shields, gel breast pads, booby tubes and an extra boppy cover. ALL LIFESAVERS.

[daydreamsam]

Oct 26, 2016 0:59:08 GMT -5 emilie said:

I've got a TMI question for you grads. So I honestly think I'm dreading post-birth pooping more than labor. I've heard that taking a stool softener can help make this a little less horrible. So when do you start taking it? In labor? After birth? Days or weeks before your EDD?

They started giving me colace with my first dose of pain meds after birth (I had a emergency c-section). I had no problems with the first  poop so ask for it and take it!

[daydreamsam]

Oct 26, 2016 7:53:33 GMT -5 MellyKnu said:

Oct 26, 2016 0:05:22 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

Ok ladies here's one for you...

After getting home with your brand new squish, especially FTM's, is there anything you realized would've made the first few days/weeks easier if you had prepared/done/bought before baby arrived?

We planned to have Ro in the PnP in our room. She disagreed very much. We had a RnP-like rocker we'd been given and we had to put it together in a hurry in order for her to sleep anywhere besides us. So I'd say, if you don't have one, buy one. Even if it's just in case and you return it later unopened.

This reminds me that babies just come out being who they are! I was ready with a PnP, RnP, bouncy chair and co-sleeper. She hated them all and we ended up ordering a swing which saved our arms and backs!

[daydreamsam]

Oct 26, 2016 12:54:35 GMT -5 Winnifred said:

westiemom & Amelia , thanks so much for sharing your stories. I think both of them were reminders for me that labor may not go how I plan anyway. I really think DH will have a hard time watching me in pain, although it's not his first rodeo with everything we've been through with IVF and such. My egg retrieval with light medication was extremely, extremely painful... but that only lasted maybe 20 minutes! Hopefully I'll be able to get as far as I can and not feel badly if I end up opting for the meds!

I used to think that I would never get an epidural but I did go into the end of pregnancy, pretty open minded about it and did get one during labor. Two people said things to me that made me pretty open about it, my OB, who said, "You can get a root canal without medication too but why would you?" and my sister who posed the question: "When you see women walking around with their kids, how do you know which ones had an epidural and which ones didn't? That's right, you don't get a halo or tattoo for 'sticking it out' so get the epidural.'" I am glad I decided to stay open minded. I was in labor for 37 hours and ended up with an emergency C-sec and they were able to get C out as fast as they needed to because I already had the epi.

[bluefairy5]

Oct 26, 2016 13:24:21 GMT -5 daydreamsam said:

This reminds me that babies just come out being who they are! I was ready with a PnP, RnP, bouncy chair and co-sleeper. She hated them all and we ended up ordering a swing which saved our arms and backs!

QFT!

[bluefairy5]

westiemom I have just a really lightweight hiking backpack I found on Amazon. I couldn’t even tell you the brand name off the top of my head. The sort that’s very light nylon and folds into its own bag. It’s great!

dream2be3 This is going to sound silly, but I wish I’d bought rubber gloves for all the pumping parts I ended up having to wash in the first weeks. My hands literally cracked. This presumably also applied to formula feeding, depending on how many bottles you have. Also, I wish I had taken to heart people’s advice to say NO to visitors (other than my parents/in-laws, since they were extreeeeemely hands on in a good way) the first 2-3 weeks. Thinking about the times people came over before she was about a month old and I still felt so horribly overwhelmed, I get actually panicky in some sort of sense-memory reaction. Just say no! [to visitors]

emilie I took Colace throughout the entire pregnancy, and brought some with me to the hospital in case they didn’t give it there. (They did.) I had a catheter during labor (epidural) and peeing the first time was actually 90% worse than the first bowel movement (with a second degree tear/stitches).

ttcbabyj Sonoline B I think is the one we have. It worked great.

sms2524 Get rubber gloves for washing (see above) to protect your hands. Don’t know if you’re planning to EP, or pump alongside BF, but in any event, get several sets of pump parts (flanges, valves/membranes, connectors, bottles). That way you don’t have to wash them after every. single. pump. You can let them pile up for a few times. Also, you can just stick everything in the fridge between pumps, though your comfort level doing that with a newborn’s immune system (as opposed to, say, a 3-4 month old) might not love that idea. For drying, we’ve always just used paper towels over a clean dish towel. Nothing extra to buy, nothing the gets gunky if you don’t run it through the dishwasher regularly.

Winnifred I wasn’t sure I wanted one. I basically went in saying, “Let’s see how far I get.” With pitocin, it wasn’t very far, which I ended up being fine with. I did take a birthing class at my yoga studio so that I had some level of prep in case the epidural didn’t work (which happens) or I wanted to try to go for a while (I decided I didn’t). When you say you’re sure you won’t be in your right mind, you might be surprised. I say this from the standpoint of having had an easy labor due to nothing but luck, but I found my mind was in kind of a heightened state during labor before I had the epidural. Granted, that was a relatively short time, but I guess what I’m saying is, when I was ready for the epidural, I knew I was ready, and I wasn’t in a panic. Also, OMG to ER not put under conscious sedation. I know people do it, but I cannot imagine! Anyway, please don’t feel bad if you end up deciding to get an epidural. They’re really, really great. So is unmedicated birth when that’s what you want, it sounds like. We’ve had quite a few folks over the past couple years who’ve gone that route. But a lot of us are also here to say, “Don’t feel bad about an epidural!”

[dancerspose]

bluefairy5 Happy Birthday to your little one!

[Winnifred]

daydreamsam, firstbbq and bluefairy5, you ladies are fabulous, thank you!

I've always been really afraid of giving birth, but obviously not afraid enough to keep us from wanting children. I'm moving from that place of fear to really trying to embrace the process - educating myself, looking forward to it, embracing the physical discomforts and finding the strength to push my limits... and it's comforting to hear that you can have all of that and also embrace the epidural! Ha ha. I really want to be prepared for the possibility that even though I might want an epidural, it might not be possible! I know a few people that ended up with a medication free birth, when they had really depended on getting pain medication. So partly I really don't want to be in that situation and not have done the mental/emotional work to feel like I can get through that. Thanks again for sharing your stories and support!

[bluefairy5]

Oct 26, 2016 14:24:34 GMT -5 Winnifred said:

daydreamsam, firstbbq and bluefairy5, you ladies are fabulous, thank you!

I've always been really afraid of giving birth, but obviously not afraid enough to keep us from wanting children. I'm moving from that place of fear to really trying to embrace the process - educating myself, looking forward to it, embracing the physical discomforts and finding the strength to push my limits... and it's comforting to hear that you can have all of that and also embrace the epidural! Ha ha. I really want to be prepared for the possibility that even though I might want an epidural, it might not be possible! I know a few people that ended up with a medication free birth, when they had really depended on getting pain medication. So partly I really don't want to be in that situation and not have done the mental/emotional work to feel like I can get through that. Thanks again for sharing your stories and support!

I think that's smart. There are folks on SAIF whose epidurals didn't end up working well or at all, or who suddenly had quicker labor progression and didn't have time to get the epidural. Mine took about an hour to work on my right side, which isn't even that long, but with the pitocin I was reeeeally glad I had at least the *idea* of preparation in my head from the class, which wasn't in-depth at all, but still helped get through that hour.

dancerspose Thanks, friend!

[MellyKnu]

@winifred, regarding epi. I wanted to avoid it, but I knew that realistically I had no idea what I'd be facing until I actually went into labor, so I kept an open mind about it. I labored in bed for a few hours before going to the hospital, and it was nbd. But gravity made a serious difference. Walking to the car was slow going because I had to stop for every contraction. By the time I was in triage I was making horrible, alien sounds while trying to exhale during contractions. When I got to the delivery room, I had them filling my tub according to plan. Before the tub was filled, I asked for an epi. The contractions were right on top of each other. It's so surreal because between contractions, I felt fine. But during contractions, they were my entire existence. Because of the amount of pain I was in, they did a spinal/epi combo. The spinal took effect immediately and was this heavenly, warm sensation. I smiled and said "ahhhh...." and everybody else in the room relaxed right along with me. I did vomit for a few minutes right before they checked and saw that I was complete. After laboring down for an hour, I pushed for a half hour. I could feel just enough pressure to tell when I needed to push. I could also feel her come out, as well as the placenta afterwards. But no pain. I was shaky on my feet the rest of that day (born at 10:40 am), but it was better each time I got up. Honestly, my birth story was pretty ideal.

[emilie]

Anyone have success flipping a breech baby? My OB suggested that I start doing the Spinning Babies exercises. I'm only 31+3 so not too worried yet. If she stays breech I can't do a version due to my placenta placement.

[fightersince83]

Oct 26, 2016 0:05:22 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

Ok ladies here's one for you...

After getting home with your brand new squish, especially FTM's, is there anything you realized would've made the first few days/weeks easier if you had prepared/done/bought before baby arrived?

Yes to freezer meals. Also, get the car seat installed in advance and leave it in the car. Oh, and don't wait till the last minute to put together your nursery. LO came a month early. Luckily I had JUST installed the car seat the weekend before. I had zero food which sucked big time. I made DH and my dad build the crib at 4 am after my water broke 😂 Don't be like fighter 😉

[fightersince83]

Oct 26, 2016 19:00:24 GMT -5 emilie said:

Anyone have success flipping a breech baby? My OB suggested that I start doing the Spinning Babies exercises. I'm only 31+3 so not too worried yet. If she stays breech I can't do a version due to my placenta placement.

I did the spinning babies exercises and LO did end up flipping to head down position. GL!

[dream2be3]

Oct 26, 2016 20:54:39 GMT -5 fightersince83 said:

Oct 26, 2016 0:05:22 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

Ok ladies here's one for you...

After getting home with your brand new squish, especially FTM's, is there anything you realized would've made the first few days/weeks easier if you had prepared/done/bought before baby arrived?

Yes to freezer meals. Also, get the car seat installed in advance and leave it in the car. Oh, and don't wait till the last minute to put together your nursery. LO came a month early. Luckily I had JUST installed the car seat the weekend before. I had zero food which sucked big time. I made DH and my dad build the crib at 4 am after my water broke 😂 Don't be like fighter 😉

We had our cat seat safety and installation class last night so that is done! Nursery is set up and I have some freezer meals done although I'd like to make some more. I think I am probably as prepared as I can be. Until someone reminds me of 10 other things I haven't thought of...lol

[rainbowbridge14]

dream2be3 If there is any chance you might have a CS I highly recommend a binder. I had to order mine off of amazon the second day home. Other than that I second (or third or fourth or whatever) lots of freezer meals and easy food to eat one handed.

emilie They give you solace int he hospital. My first number 2 was actually pretty loose but not sure if that was the colace or something else. Cleaning was annoying but it wasn't too horrible. On spinning babies, I know mine was breech until about 30 weeks or so but my OB said she wasn't worried until closer to 36 weeks.

sms2524 We Just use a regular foldable drying rack. Not the most convenient for some things but it works just fine. Seconding keeping the parts in the fridge between uses. we got lucky and the hospital gave us a few sets of part and we had the set that came with the pump so its been nice not having to wash constantly if I am just too tired.

Winnifred I wanted to see if I could go through labor without the epidural but was open to it if necessary. I ended up getting it because my labor lasted over 37 hours. I had nasty back labor and couldn't sleep through it even with pain meds so I eventually got the epidural so I could sleep because I was afraid of falling asleep on my feet and falling. I actually felt like the pain was manageable but it wa sth exhaustion of a very long back labor that got me. However, part of me wishes I didn't get it because mine didn't work on the nerve pain from the back labor and I ended up immobile and in pain. It was easier to handle the pain when I could move more. But more than likely I would have had to have it anyway for the CS because my kiddo just didn't want to come out so it was kind of a moot point. Being prepared for your labor to not go as planned is definitely important.

jennykat I was terrible about protein during my pregnancy because I had huge meat and egg aversions. I survived on greek yogurt, nuts, and protein bars. I doubt I ever got enough but things turned out fine other than being anemic and having to take iron supplements.

[dream2be3]

rainbowbridge14 total newb question....what's a binder?

[fightersince83]

Oct 27, 2016 2:02:00 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

rainbowbridge14 total newb question....what's a binder?

Butting in. It's basically a belly/back brace to help with recovery. I got one from the hospital but it was "one size fit all" once my swelling went down it was too loose to support me. I got this for the rest of recovery and it really helped me avoid engaging my core too much while still feeling supported. bellybandit.com

[kensie5226]

Winnifred, like many of the other ladies here I struggling with the epi decision. I really felt like I needed plan b/c labor one of the biggest things I'd ever do and lord know I don't do anything with a plan. I looked into all sorts of natural labor techniques and read a ton of anecdata on both sides of the issue. I still hadn't made up my mind, but I think part of me felt competitive about the epi. Like I should prove I could take it. As the time crept closer, I genuinely hasn't made up my mind, but was leaning toward trying to go without. Then, I was told I was being induced at 37w for high BP so I just gave up trying to decide. I get why people want to avoid medical interventions, but there was no way I was going to avoid them so I just decided I needed to let it happen how it would. I got the epi after several hours of Pitocin on day 2. When it worked it was great. As I progressed on day 3, it wore off, and as LO got stuck behind my pelvic bone it completely quit working in certain areas. I have a pretty good barometer of what it felt like medicated and undedicated and I really would medicated any day. There is no gold star for have an unmedicated birth. If that's what you want, cool. I think a big danger is getting attached to a certain ideal birth picture. Generally when women have a pretty set idea of how their birth SHOULD go, they end up very emotionally scarred when that picture isn't reached. I advocate not making up your mind and being open to what you need to do on that day.

[kensie5226]

Oct 26, 2016 0:05:22 GMT -5 dream2be3 said:

Ok ladies here's one for you...

After getting home with your brand new squish, especially FTM's, is there anything you realized would've made the first few days/weeks easier if you had prepared/done/bought before baby arrived?

I actually kind of wish I had waited to see what my experience would be like. I stocked up on huge pads, depends, peri bottles, rose water. I had a very easy recovery and used none of those things. As soon as I got home I started using an overnight pad and in a few days I was down to regular pads. So now I have a case of depends, rose water, numbing spray just sitting in my bathroom. It's also hard to know what you may want for your specific baby.

Bottles: stick with one of a few different kinds until you find one that works.

Pacis: take the one in the hospital. Take any freebies. If your LO won't take them. Work your way down the list. Babies are weirdly picky.

Burp clothes: order some, then double that order.

Breastfeeding Pillow: Try a boppy and Mybrestfriend if you can. I hate MBF, but some people swear by it.

Nursing BRa: Buy loose sports bra type. At first your boobs will be huge and sore. Eventually you can try on cuter ones.

Clothes: go easy on NB sizes. Some babies are too small and some are too big. I didn't buy any clothes until she was born and relied on hand me downs until then.

[westiemom]

I love kensie5226 post.

Absolutely bring a paci to the hospital! Even though they say it interferes with breastfeeding, a lot of people don't have that issue and your nipples will thank you for having an alternative.

I was one who loved MBF pillow until 3 months then the boppy worked way better.