Post by danisgossipgirl on Apr 20, 2015 20:29:04 GMT -5
Two, didn't even have to think about it. The only time I ever get any kind of project done is when I don't have all 3 And preferably just have the baby. And my projects are no bigger than cleaning out a closet or changing out the seasons of clothes. Plus a late transfer sounds very disruptive for them. Move in, get the place ready. June will be here soon. 1 solid month to get the place painted and unpacked sounds perfect.
I've got a wwd14d request... My wwyd is no where near as important as calvinfoster, but I am indecisive, so who better to ask than you lovely ladies? I currently have pretty long hair (middle of my back) and it has been falling out like nobody's business. It is also really dry and just not very attractive right now. So I'd like some advice on what you think about the hairstyle I am contemplating.
Pic on the left is basically what my hair looks like right now. It's a little longer and a bit darker but that pic will suffice. The 2 pics on the right is what I'm contemplating on doing to my hair. Whatcha think?
Post by seerealsky on Apr 20, 2015 22:37:33 GMT -5
calvinfoster I would go route #2. Get settled, let the big boys finish their school year, and suffer the commute knowing that everything will be ready when the "hurricanes" arrive. Then enjoy the happiness and chaos that is sure to follow as your family is reunited. *insert giant heart emoji*
momtoEandC25 I'd go with the bottom of the two! It looks just a little longer, and a more uniform length all around. The bob trend with it longer in the front is nms, but I really like the curly look!
My WWD14D: My husband is very careless with his money. I understand that it's his money, and since I'm not contributing to the family income, I really have no place to tell him how he can and can't spend his money. However, because he's poor with managing his finances, I'm in charge of that task, paying the bills and making sure the lights stay on. Yes, that gives me a little say, but he still doesn't seem to understand that he's throwing away cash we don't have. This past winter was a struggle, but we pulled through on his income alone.
The dilemma: his paychecks are not picking up like we had hoped. He works with a family-owned company that builds grain bins and other farm buildings and equipment, and the work is seasonal and by demand. The lack of work (and, subsequently, hours) and my husband's apparent inability to give up gas station lunches/really dumb random purchases means we are going to come up short in thus summer's bills.
My question to you wise women: do I.. 1) try again (for the fifth time, not even shitting you) to curb my husband's careless spending, put on my Scrooge hat, dictate a stricter budget, and hopefully scrape by; 2) kiss my old boss's ass and beg for my job back (part time, which I know he will not want to do, especially since I will have to take pump breaks) and work every Saturday; or 3) try to find a new job that will be okay with my part time work and need to pump but not pay as much as my old job? Note: Options 2 & 3 will require that Mina go to daycare. I no longer have a real stash (My mom managed to use up THIRTY oz of milk in one night; I'm crushed about that, since my pumping around breastfeeding has gone terribly) so I will have to do some serious work establishing one for her to start her out there. Our daycare in town runs at about $50 a day for 8 hours, and does not take kids on Saturday. I am not the babysitting type, sadly, so I don't want to venture that route in work. Other peoples' kids make me incredibly nervous and stress me out.
I'm really upset that my SAHM dreams are being crushed, and I need some input that isn't fed by my bill anxiety. Apologies for the length.
calvinfoster Agree with everyone else! I also think that getting the house set up will help the time fly by because you will be so busy and will also help you get used to the commute without dealing with all the craziness of four separate schedules quite yet. Yay for it almost being time to have your family back together! You've been amazing through this!
momtoEandC25 I know it is nerve wracking to cut off your hair. Mine was way down my back but it got insanely tangled at the hospital so I made my husband chop it off. Instantly my head was lighter, I was cooler, and I just felt so free. It is totally worth it to get it cut. Just soooo much less maintenance too.
seerealsky Honestly I'm not into the whole his money, her money thing when married. I know it works for some people but I'm in the "our money" camp and I would be pissed if my husband couldn't control his spending. When my husband and I got serious about our relationship we realized we both just threw away money. I took over and he had to run every single purchase past me. So I definitely understand how important it is for him to follow the budget. It sounds like you've tried talking to him and it doesn't work. You could try again and stress that, because of his profligacy, you will have to go back to work if he can't get it under control. But it sounds like you've already tried this so I think you are probably going to have to go back to work. I'd talk with your old boss and see what you can make happen. If he isn't willing to work to the hours you need, then if start looking for something else part time. Good luck!
Post by danisgossipgirl on Apr 21, 2015 6:47:27 GMT -5
Re:seerealsky and mr seerealsky. I don't see how separate money is at all feasible with 1 parent at home. He is earning to support your family and your full time job is at home. I don't know if you need to work but that won't solve the free spending problem. I guess separate money could work if income is fairly equitable but my h and I decided before we were even married that it wouldn't work for our household. We've gone back and forth as breadwinners, through school, through layoffs and are fairly equitable again, but our money is for our family to pay our bills and realize our goals, whether it's planning vacation, improving our home, saving for retirement and our children's educations... One person being selfish and spending away on themselves would not be ok. So option z, you need a come to Jesus talk, layout the budget, show how his spending is affecting your family.
I'm sorry to jump in without responding to the other posts but I have a time sensitive WWD14D question - I've had several clogged ducts for the past two days and they're extremely painful and messing with my supply. I've tried warm showers and compresses, massages, had DS nurse, rented a hospital grade pump, but these guys are stuck in there good. DS is a lazy nurser and even more so when he's not very hungry which is usually right before I leave to work. Should I call out of work to try to get him to nurse throughout the day or take the hospital grade pump with me and keep trying massages, etc? I'm two hours away from home so it's an all or nothing scenario. Also, any other tips you can think of that I can try?
happyfeet9 if you have the days to spare, take the day off and try to work out those clogs. Otherwise, I'd just take the pump with you to work and keep massaging! Clogs suck!
I'm sorry to jump in without responding to the other posts but I have a time sensitive WWD14D question - I've had several clogged ducts for the past two days and they're extremely painful and messing with my supply. I've tried warm showers and compresses, massages, had DS nurse, rented a hospital grade pump, but these guys are stuck in there good. DS is a lazy nurser and even more so when he's not very hungry which is usually right before I leave to work. Should I call out of work to try to get him to nurse throughout the day or take the hospital grade pump with me and keep trying massages, etc? I'm two hours away from home so it's an all or nothing scenario. Also, any other tips you can think of that I can try?
Have you had the baby nurse with his chin in the direction of the clog? If I had the time off available, yes I probably would stay home with the sole intention of nursing it away.
happyfeet9 you would probably have to take a day off anyways if mastitis sets in so I vote for LO snuggles if you have the time.
seerealsky My advice is to work on a budget together. I think it is less effective if one person dictates to the other. Use mint.com or similar to track spending which can be eye opening to see how the small expenses add up. I love calvinfoster 's idea of cash system. Your H has a family now, it's time to grow up and accept responsibility.
calvinfoster, although it sounds like you've already decided, I'd do Option 2. I think it would be so much easier for everyone if you can go ahead and have most of the house set up before the older boys move in. But the main kicker for me would be having to transfer schools at the end of the school year. That could be a rough transition, so I'd just let them finish out the school year where they are and then start fresh in the fall! Congrats on the house, btw!
momtoEandC25, I like both of the shorter ones. I think if you got it cut like the short, straight one, you could easily style it to look like #3. Plus, it'll feel so much better in the summer than long hair!
seerealsky, I agree with danisgossipgirl. I'm also not into the "his money", "her money" thing. As a SAHM, you do contribute to the household, even if you aren't compensated for it. I also don't think getting a job is going to solve his spending problem because for a lot of people, the more you make, the more you spend. However, if money is tight then getting a PT job could potentially alleviate some of the financial pressures and give each of you a little more wiggle room for fun purchases. But the bottom line is, like PPs said, you two need to sit down and come up with a plan that works for your family.
happyfeet9, I'd take the day off. If you get mastitis, you'll be out anyways, so you may as well try to nip it in the bud. The only thing that ever really works for me is a hungry baby. The pump never gets clogs out for me, but once I put the baby on, they usually clear right up. GL!
calvinfoster it sounds like you made your decision (of which I agree with the unanimous vote anyway) but I just wanted to say congrats on the house, getting the ball rolling with the move, and just being a little more than a month away from having the whole calvinfoster crew back in one home!
momtoEandC25 once you get the nerve up to chop it you'll feel so relieved! I used to have anxiety about my hair too, about people not cutting it right and also about throwing away all my time spent growing it out (it was down to my butt until this past summer). Then I realized, it's freaking hair! It's falling out like crazy for pretty much all of us, and it grows back anyway, so why not just have fun with it?
seerealsky, I agree with danisgossipgirl and the two mint.com suggestions combined. First it definitely sounds like you need a come to jesus meeting with YH about how his spending is affecting not only his own life but yours and Mina's. Have him realize the tight spot he has put you guys in and how it's not exactly fair that his spending may force you to have to go back to work, and hopefully you can set a strict budget to wrangle the finances back on track for the summer. I had the same problem with MH for the longest time and it seemed like no matter how many warnings I gave him we'd still end up short every month because of hundreds of "little" purchases that he didn't think added up so quickly. He was actually the one that discovered the mint app, which we both downloaded to our phones, sat down and set a budget together, and finally watching the charts every month he was able to see what I saw in terms of how our money (ie mostly his as the breadwinner) would disappear so fast and also how much we needed to keep to make ends meet every month. It's worth a shot before throwing in the towel and adding the stress of finding a job just so he can keep his comfy lifestyle.
Post by danisgossipgirl on Apr 21, 2015 10:47:32 GMT -5
I'm getting out of work early today. I want to go get my hair cut. Just putting it out there to the universe so I actually do it. Now I need to try to find an appointment somewhere.
Anyone have any thoughts on running with LO before 6 months (she'll be 5mo) on a flat boardwalk in stroller for a 5k? Did a quick jog the other day about 50 feet while she was semi reclined and she didn't really budge. WWYD?
Anyone have any thoughts on running with LO before 6 months (she'll be 5mo) on a flat boardwalk in stroller for a 5k? Did a quick jog the other day about 50 feet while she was semi reclined and she didn't really budge. WWYD?
In a semi reclined seat I'd do it no worries. We had a jogging stroller for 6m+ that I started using as soon as my first kid had the ability to sit unassisted, I felt his core strength was good enough then (4.5 months). I wasn't on really rough terrain and he was fine.
momtoEandC25 go for the inverted bob. I did it, just a little shorter than the pic you Shared and I love it. I just spray gel and go. I have a wwyd request. I'm considering changing jobs. Right now I'm entry level management at a financial institution. There are things I really like about my job, but things that are really not working for my family. The biggest thing is I found out that I'm making 18% less than what our Salary administration policy says I should be. I brought it up to 2 different directors and was given a bs excuse as to why. I also use my personal cell phone and laptop to do work at home. Other managers and some non-managment have this equipment provided to them, but there aren't any available so I don't get that benefit. I also don't have my own office. Basically I carry all my work around in huge binders. Here's the dilemma, I haven't been at this job for a year yet and left my previous one after 3 months because I was invited to apply for this one. I don't know what that says to potential employers. I have a Bachelors degree in finance and feel like I should be setting my sights higher and work up here. But I'm really struggling going to a job I'm unhappy with.
momtoEandC25 go for the inverted bob. I did it, just a little shorter than the pic you Shared and I love it. I just spray gel and go. I have a wwyd request. I'm considering changing jobs. Right now I'm entry level management at a financial institution. There are things I really like about my job, but things that are really not working for my family. The biggest thing is I found out that I'm making 18% less than what our Salary administration policy says I should be. I brought it up to 2 different directors and was given a bs excuse as to why. I also use my personal cell phone and laptop to do work at home. Other managers and some non-managment have this equipment provided to them, but there aren't any available so I don't get that benefit. I also don't have my own office. Basically I carry all my work around in huge binders. Here's the dilemma, I haven't been at this job for a year yet and left my previous one after 3 months because I was invited to apply for this one. I don't know what that says to potential employers. I have a Bachelors degree in finance and feel like I should be setting my sights higher and work up here. But I'm really struggling going to a job I'm unhappy with.
This sounds like something you should talk to HR about, your salary should be addressed immediately! I don't understand why others have company paid for devices but you have to use your personal, that sounds pretty wacky especially if you're not being reimbursed for cell phone usage, data charges etc. If you need one, they should order you one. I know you said you don't have an office, but do you have a cube or regular spot you could work from regularly? If they can't address your needs, you may be happier elsewhere; sounds like some unfair treatment if you ask me.
Anyone have any thoughts on running with LO before 6 months (she'll be 5mo) on a flat boardwalk in stroller for a 5k? Did a quick jog the other day about 50 feet while she was semi reclined and she didn't really budge. WWYD?
FFFC I have already ran with DS in the BOB. I reclined the seat all the way back and use an insert (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0045VA3SO/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1429639643&sr=8-1&keywords=stroller+insert) to help stabilize his head. He has good head control and it really doesn't move around when running. We don't go fast and are on sidewalks.
Anyone have any thoughts on running with LO before 6 months (she'll be 5mo) on a flat boardwalk in stroller for a 5k? Did a quick jog the other day about 50 feet while she was semi reclined and she didn't really budge. WWYD?
FFFC I have already ran with DS in the BOB. I reclined the seat all the way back and use an insert (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0045VA3SO/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1429639643&sr=8-1&keywords=stroller+insert) to help stabilize his head. He has good head control and it really doesn't move around when running. We don't go fast and are on sidewalks.
Ok, I feel better now. Afraid I was going to get flamed. We have one of those inserts I think so I'll try that out with it. Thanks!
aleys628 I recommend the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandburg for insight on advocating for yourself. Actually all working or may someday work D14 mamas should read it! Women are too likely to let things like pay disparity go whereas men are more likely to speak up and ask for fair compensation, promotions, etc. I agree that a talk with HR is in order if your manager is not willing to listen. Given the two relatively quick job changes I would probably put a good amount of effort into changing your pay at this job before searching elsewhere. After you give it your best shot and they still won't pay you fairly then no need to stick around.
I would pick option two so the boys can finish out the school year and then have a fresh start next school year. Also it will be easier to set up the house without them.
However, I understand that one more month is going to be hard.
Post by erien22846 on Apr 21, 2015 13:38:19 GMT -5
jesster88 just added the book to my wishlist. Thanks for the recommendation. I'm really struggling with where I'm at in my career and my company's history of being slow to promote is discouraging.
momtoEandC25,Also, I like both the haircut ideas...I need to cut my hair as well but can't decide how short to go.
Mastitis is a B**ch- take time off if you can to nurse so you can avoid that.
Working part time might help, but unless DH is on the same page as you it could lead to him spending more money unwisely. I like many of the suggestions you have already been given.
seerealsky, I feel like you just wrote my life word for word. My DH constantly spends money on stupid crap. Then he complains, "where did the money go?" I'm not going back to work just to support his damn spending habit. I finally got tired of his "woe is me I'm broke by Saturday" whine and printed off the bank statement and highlighted all his charges. Then I showed him my spending (major difference). Then I showed him all the monthly expenses and bills. He got with the program for maybe a week then went right back to his old ways. *bangs head against wall*
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