DS has started shrieking. He dies it during the day when he is excited or wants attention and it is annoying. But worse is at night where he's added it into his cries and sounds like he is being tortures. Not fun. I've also been struggling to fall back asleep after waking up MOTN, which is just stupid because I'm definitely tired.
I'm so sorry to hear this! I have heard similar reviews about CIO, but I really hoped it would work for you. How much longer are you going to try? I wish I actually could send you coffee and a hug. You deserve it.
Thanks, friend. I am already chugging a coffee.
I'm hiding in my office crying right now.
Sucks to be the boss in these situations. I just had to cancel a meeting due to me crying it out in my office.
The only way to fix this is to kick him in the nads. If you don't feel like it's working why is he so fucking insistent on it? I mean really he thought putting a damn mattress next to the crib was a good way to keep him in...wtf does he know about babies?? Did his mommy tell him he cried and then slept through the night? Where is he getting this idea? WTF is with men thinking babies just GO TO SLEEP. We don't all have witch babies like purp and nicb13 !
MrsTinMKE he has been for a while. I just never did because extra money to pay shit off, plus I can socialize with adults. Since I'm in BFE I don't have a lot of resources for "mommy groups" and stuff like that but I just can't keep up. I am sinking
MrsTinMKE he has been for a while. I just never did because extra money to pay shit off, plus I can socialize with adults. Since I'm in BFE I don't have a lot of resources for "mommy groups" and stuff like that but I just can't keep up. I am sinking
the social aspect would be hard for sure, but it give you some sanity to take that load off of your shoulders I say do it. Part time an option so you can have a little of both?
andplusalso you may remember me mentioning my brother and SIL that's selfish and expects everyone to drive home for their shit all the time (3.5 hours for me 8 for my mom) I mean seriously, every. single. birthday. And I make it too. To every fucking birthday. They have 4 kids from 16-4. Seriously people. They didn't even drive out here to meet my daughter either. So it's just been building and building and I've been getting more and more irritated with them.
Well my niece turns 10 this weekend and I was telling my mom I didn't think I would be able to drive home just me and DD because she hates the car so much. My mom was going to meet us this last weekend to see DD and the rest of the grandkids and my SIL was like no you can't come this weekend your granddaughter will be upset you didn't come to her birthday. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! We love her but everything does not revolve around you. I finally snapped and I was like how is that fair to everyone else?! She was like what do you mean? I go well H is gone next weekend. If I come next weekend by myself it's going to be a whole ordeal because DD hates the car. So you're going to make mom feel like shit just because she wants to come when it's easier to see all her grand kids and it's not during granddaughter's birthday?! So you're going to make mom feel like she has to drive 8 hours here, then 4 hours to me and 4 hours back with us just to be here for a birthday party?!? She goes "oh...well I didn't know that. granddaughter was so upset last time because grandma wasn't here." I go well I'm sorry she was sad but that's not anyone else's fault. We're all trying here. She needs to know that it's fucking hard for mom to travel and she has 9 grandchildren to worry about too. She's not the only kid anymore. I said mom hasn't seen DD since the end of April. That's a long fucking time in baby world. It's not what's best for you. It's what's best for the person traveling and everyone together. My SIL shut her face. I was so mad!!
MrsTinMKE he has been for a while. I just never did because extra money to pay shit off, plus I can socialize with adults. Since I'm in BFE I don't have a lot of resources for "mommy groups" and stuff like that but I just can't keep up. I am sinking
the social aspect would be hard for sure, but it give you some sanity to take that load off of your shoulders I say do it. Part time an option so you can have a little of both?
If I go part time the word is that my boss doesn't like part time employees. So I'm afraid I know he's going to tell me no. So I never asked. I want to ask right now but I'm such a mess I know I'll just end up crying. Not professional...
mrsbabe614 - glad your H upped his game a little and did more than Mac n cheese. What'd he make you?
After being out of work this long I'm finding the prospect of having to go back to work very unappealing. But financially I have to. I say if you can do it and your H is on board you should.
Awwww I'm sorry! Ugh, that sucks. I was so glad things had seemingly gone well last week. How long do you think you'll keep trying. FWIW, once we decided to stop trying the CIO approach and I went back to rocking dd to sleep every night she started sleeping really well. However, I only gave CIO like 3 nights and it never worked even a little. Big hugs lady.
I don't know how much longer I'll do it. I seriously almost snapped last night but I knew H would never forgive me. I figured we need to make the decision when we are rational and awake.
Uggh!
So I don't claim to be a sleep expert but in my experience doing CIO should not span weeks. We have always had success within 3-4 nights (for the 10x we have been through it with our older son). If the extended crying continues I would question if your baby is able to handle it and may need a different approach.
we tried gentler options first (sitting in the room while he fell asleep, holding his hand as he fell asleep, sleeping on his floor (lol), pick up, put down and a bunch of others I can't rememver and they all failed so we went to full blown CIO out of desperation and it is the only thing that seems to work for our toddler. Now our baby is so different and if he cries at bedtime I'll rock him for a few minutes and he always calms and goes to bed.
My point is, your little guy may not respond to ferber/CIO. Have you tried reading some of the books? I hate sleep issues more than anything so I hope things improve for you!!!
mrsbabe614, You need a break. I'm glad your H pulled through with the dinner. I hope you are able to figure out a work/home balance. Or a home/adult social life balance.
It's too bad we don't live near each other. We could let the babes play and drink wine while our Hs are gone haha
mrsbabe614 - glad your H upped his game a little and did more than Mac n cheese. What'd he make you?
After being out of work this long I'm finding the prospect of having to go back to work very unappealing. But financially I have to. I say if you can do it and your H is on board you should.
I'm going to wait to see what he decides about his job thus far. He seems to be really struggling with what to do. His boss is kind of angling him to take over the management of the company eventually so that means no more pilot stuff and I don't know how he feels about that. So that means more hours if he sticks with that. If not then he'll scale back and it will ease up on me quite a bit. So I'm waiting to see how his talk with his boss goes this week while they're away on business.
He made a pork tenderloin and some oven potato things. They were pretty good actually.
Our baby is on the move! He's been army crawling for a few weeks but holy cow he is fast! If we leave him alone he comes to find us . So cute but now we needs eyes on the back of our head to watch both kids. Thankfully our older guy is way more reliable and trustworthy than he was even a few months ago.
mrsbabe614, You need a break. I'm glad your H pulled through with the dinner. I hope you are able to figure out a work/home balance. Or a home/adult social life balance.
It's too bad we don't live near each other. We could let the babes play and drink wine while our Hs are gone haha
^truth!! I'm not sure how you do it with the constant extended leave. At least he's home some evenings ;-)
the social aspect would be hard for sure, but it give you some sanity to take that load off of your shoulders I say do it. Part time an option so you can have a little of both?
If I go part time the word is that my boss doesn't like part time employees. So I'm afraid I know he's going to tell me no. So I never asked. I want to ask right now but I'm such a mess I know I'll just end up crying. Not professional...
Fair enough. Once you have had a little time to "calm down" (for lack of better term) another day, may be approach it then. If you are prepared to walk away, and they say no to part time, then you can just walk away, but still give it a last attempt to see if it could work. None of this is coming out as eloquently as I would like lol but I think you get it
you never know until you ask! I can't count how many times I had preconceived notions about stuff like this and surprisingly I was wrong. I hope they will be open to it!
And you guys are right. I'm going to try and talk to my H. I know he is tired, but so am I. We need to figure out a way to make it at least 60/40.
and seriously I think that will help with him feeling closer to DS when he's home. Helping out more helps him feel closer like he needs him.
If daycare is closed tomorrow and I can make it to work, he will have to stay home with DS. So he will have him all day. I don't want to sound like I'm dogging on him, because he's a great dad. It's just little things that guys don't think about. Like yesterday we went to my SIL's gender reveal and my H was just walking around talking to people and just left us there. I can never just leave J and walk around and talk to people, he lives in my asshole. I think that dads don't really have the same brain wiring moms do, and they don't quite understand how much we do.
and seriously I think that will help with him feeling closer to DS when he's home. Helping out more helps him feel closer like he needs him.
If daycare is closed tomorrow and I can make it to work, he will have to stay home with DS. So he will have him all day. I don't want to sound like I'm dogging on him, because he's a great dad. It's just little things that guys don't think about. Like yesterday we went to my SIL's gender reveal and my H was just walking around talking to people and just left us there. I can never just leave J and walk around and talk to people, he lives in my asshole. I think that dads don't really have the same brain wiring moms do, and they don't quite understand how much we do.
I completely know what you mean. DH is a great dad and a great husband but men are so fucking oblivious to the details! Well why doesn't she just fall asleep??! Uhm...she's a baby dude. I don't think H has ever fed DD anything other than a bottle.
Sucks to be the boss in these situations. I just had to cancel a meeting due to me crying it out in my office.
The only way to fix this is to kick him in the nads. If you don't feel like it's working why is he so fucking insistent on it? I mean really he thought putting a damn mattress next to the crib was a good way to keep him in...wtf does he know about babies?? Did his mommy tell him he cried and then slept through the night? Where is he getting this idea? WTF is with men thinking babies just GO TO SLEEP. We don't all have witch babies like purp and nicb13 !
When I first read this I thought you meant to kick DS in the nads. lol
If daycare is closed tomorrow and I can make it to work, he will have to stay home with DS. So he will have him all day. I don't want to sound like I'm dogging on him, because he's a great dad. It's just little things that guys don't think about. Like yesterday we went to my SIL's gender reveal and my H was just walking around talking to people and just left us there. I can never just leave J and walk around and talk to people, he lives in my asshole. I think that dads don't really have the same brain wiring moms do, and they don't quite understand how much we do.
I completely know what you mean. DH is a great dad and a great husband but men are so fucking oblivious to the details! Well why doesn't she just fall asleep??! Uhm...she's a baby dude. I don't think H has ever fed DD anything other than a bottle.
andplusalso you may remember me mentioning my brother and SIL that's selfish and expects everyone to drive home for their shit all the time (3.5 hours for me 8 for my mom) I mean seriously, every. single. birthday. And I make it too. To every fucking birthday. They have 4 kids from 16-4. Seriously people. They didn't even drive out here to meet my daughter either. So it's just been building and building and I've been getting more and more irritated with them.
Well my niece turns 10 this weekend and I was telling my mom I didn't think I would be able to drive home just me and DD because she hates the car so much. My mom was going to meet us this last weekend to see DD and the rest of the grandkids and my SIL was like no you can't come this weekend your granddaughter will be upset you didn't come to her birthday. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! We love her but everything does not revolve around you. I finally snapped and I was like how is that fair to everyone else?! She was like what do you mean? I go well H is gone next weekend. If I come next weekend by myself it's going to be a whole ordeal because DD hates the car. So you're going to make mom feel like shit just because she wants to come when it's easier to see all her grand kids and it's not during granddaughter's birthday?! So you're going to make mom feel like she has to drive 8 hours here, then 4 hours to me and 4 hours back with us just to be here for a birthday party?!? She goes "oh...well I didn't know that. granddaughter was so upset last time because grandma wasn't here." I go well I'm sorry she was sad but that's not anyone else's fault. We're all trying here. She needs to know that it's fucking hard for mom to travel and she has 9 grandchildren to worry about too. She's not the only kid anymore. I said mom hasn't seen DD since the end of April. That's a long fucking time in baby world. It's not what's best for you. It's what's best for the person traveling and everyone together. My SIL shut her face. I was so mad!!
That is ridiculous! Good for you for standing up to her and saying something! Why does every think that the world revolves around them!
DD just popped her second bottom tooth. She has been waking up crying lately and I don't know if its the teeth or something else She woke up crying and wouldn't stop at 11PM, she never does this. I gave her some Tylenol and she went back to sleep. It was the first time since DD was born, that I had a hard time with a wake up or ever once felt like I was losing my patients. I was also irrationally mad at H that he handed her over to me and went back to bed.
Sigh. I am SO tired today.
Also I did ALL the shopping this weekend. And I actually bought stuff, which is odd because. I am SO indecisive.
So I just bought without really thinking. Surprisingly I regret nothing.
Also H still has not heard back about this job offer so I am hoping he does today!
Yay for new things! FX your H gets the job offer today!
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
DS has started shrieking. He dies it during the day when he is excited or wants attention and it is annoying. But worse is at night where he's added it into his cries and sounds like he is being tortures. Not fun. I've also been struggling to fall back asleep after waking up MOTN, which is just stupid because I'm definitely tired.
S does this in the car, and we have determined he just likes hearing the sound of his own shriek, and likes playing with the pitch. It must be terrifying to hear in the MOTN! Hopefully your little guy tires of his new sound soon.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
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