Are any of you doing anything with your toddlers in the giving back spirit of the holidays? I'm looking for things to do with Tumaini or as a family and I'm not sure what she's old enough to do/understand. We have a "tradition" (we only started last year...) where we go to the grocery store and she gets to fill the small basket with whatever she wants for the food bank. We'll also be baking cookies for everyone (daycare provider, librarian, mail carrier...). Any other suggestions?
I'm going to try to start a kindness elf tradition. I saw it last year, but think D is old enough to kind of get it this year.
You have a different act of kindness to do each day of december. You can do a play on the elf on a shelf and have your elf display the kindness act each morning. Examples are write/send a loved one a card, donate a toy, bring a neighbor some cookies, etc. You can also have the elf comment on kind things she notices your child doing. Lots more ideas on Pinterest!
Are any of you doing anything with your toddlers in the giving back spirit of the holidays? I'm looking for things to do with Tumaini or as a family and I'm not sure what she's old enough to do/understand. We have a "tradition" (we only started last year...) where we go to the grocery store and she gets to fill the small basket with whatever she wants for the food bank. We'll also be baking cookies for everyone (daycare provider, librarian, mail carrier...). Any other suggestions?
I'm going to try to start a kindness elf tradition. I saw it last year, but think D is old enough to kind of get it this year.
You have a different act of kindness to do each day of december. You can do a play on the elf on a shelf and have your elf display the kindness act each morning. Examples are write/send a loved one a card, donate a toy, bring a neighbor some cookies, etc. You can also have the elf comment on kind things she notices your child doing. Lots more ideas on Pinterest!
I love this idea! The other elf freaks me out. I also love the idea of having the elf comment on the kind things she does. Now I want to go shopping for a cute elf. Stupid work.
barefoot84 - We are trying to start this year as well. Saturday my church is putting together baskets to distribute to people in need for Thanksgiving. I'm thinking I might take her along as she can help put the smaller things in.
H's fire department is also collecting food at our local Stop & Shop on Sunday. He plans on going for a couple hours just taking the food people donate and putting it on the truck (its called "Stuff-a-Truck"). He was also thinking of taking her to help out.
We will probably also pick out some toys to donate.
We usually sponsor a child from the angel tree and donate to toys for tots. Emma has always helped pick out the items, but this year is the dusty year she is old enough to get it. Problem is, she doesn't get it. When we picked out the angel tree child I explained to her that we would be buying toys for another child that didn't have any toys. She got really confused as to why santa wouldn't be bringing these kids toys... were they bad?, did santa not like them?, whyyyyyyyy?. I got flustered trying to explain it without outing Santa. Any ideas or tips that don't involve telling her there is no Santa? We do Santa in my house.
Maybe from now on we will support a food bank... Geez, kid.
Are any of you doing anything with your toddlers in the giving back spirit of the holidays? I'm looking for things to do with Tumaini or as a family and I'm not sure what she's old enough to do/understand. We have a "tradition" (we only started last year...) where we go to the grocery store and she gets to fill the small basket with whatever she wants for the food bank. We'll also be baking cookies for everyone (daycare provider, librarian, mail carrier...). Any other suggestions?
A friend of mine used to (probably still does) take her kids to the toy store and they got to pick out a toy, knowing that the toy they pick out would be donated. They would then to go the local children's hospital, or other collection place for toys of children in need and donate the toy they picked to someone less fortunate. Her kids loved it actually. I think she started when her oldest was pretty little, he was 3 or 4...
ETA: Link to her blog post when she started doing these things <<clicky>>
I have work out clothes and a ton of sewing/quilting supplies on my list.
justbeth, does your daughter also get presents from family and friends at Christmas or just from Santa? You could explain that giving is an important part of Christmas. You give to people you love and to other people to be kind. That does not out Santa, but still explains giving other people presents.
justbeth, Like lainikins said, I would explain it in more of a way that they won't get any presents from people in their life because of hard times or whatever. Letting her know that they love her, but can't afford things like other people can. Then you avoid the santa thing (hopefully) and still explain why we give to others.
Post by xanthepants on Nov 18, 2015 12:50:39 GMT -5
barefoot84, We are letting Cosette pick out a couple of gifts and having her donate from her piggy banks some of her money to buy a couple of items (we will match or more) and then take her to the donation spot for either Toys for Tots or a Womens shelter. We've already talked about it. She found some money on the street the other night while out on a walk and we talked about what to do about it and we talked about buying food for kids who don't have enough to eat this year. We will also go together as a family and make a special shopping trip for only another family and get everything together to drop off at a food shelf together on one of my Fridays off and we will draw a picture together. The Friday after Thanksgiving instead of Black Friday shopping its my plan to do that instead. It's hard at this age to help them feel connected to the world at large. I actually showed her a couple of pictures about the children sleeping in the forest and streets in Syria and we talked about how not everyone has a home and a warm bed and how we are very, very lucky. It's our duty to love and take care of our fellow human beings. I think our kids are capable of empathy. At least Cosette is showing lately that she gets it on a certain level and not belonging to a church I feel like I have to create meaningful opportunities for her on my own terms.
lainikins and trixi282 Good point. Maybe I'll give it another try and focus on giving to others. I did try to explain the family gifts to her (because she knows she is spoiled by grandma!) but in her little mind santa will just give them everything they want. Maybe we can just focus on the joy of giving to others at all times and kinda leave christmas out of it. She's asks too many questions! She understand that some people don't have a safe place to live because of us fostering, but she doesn't seem to understand that everyone just can't go to a safe foster home like the babies that come here.
Post by mommymadness on Nov 18, 2015 15:19:13 GMT -5
There is a big Christmas box operation where people can fill a box with personal hygiene stuff, toys, socks ect. Anything you think a child in need might want or need. They get collected and donated to Children in very poor places around the world or orphanages. I filled one yesterday with the kids!
Are any of you doing anything with your toddlers in the giving back spirit of the holidays? I'm looking for things to do with Tumaini or as a family and I'm not sure what she's old enough to do/understand. We have a "tradition" (we only started last year...) where we go to the grocery store and she gets to fill the small basket with whatever she wants for the food bank. We'll also be baking cookies for everyone (daycare provider, librarian, mail carrier...). Any other suggestions?
They are doing project Christmas child at church. Avery is having a hard time understanding why we are giving brand new toys away but she did help pick things out.
We usually sponsor a child from the angel tree and donate to toys for tots. Emma has always helped pick out the items, but this year is the dusty year she is old enough to get it. Problem is, she doesn't get it. When we picked out the angel tree child I explained to her that we would be buying toys for another child that didn't have any toys. She got really confused as to why santa wouldn't be bringing these kids toys... were they bad?, did santa not like them?, whyyyyyyyy?. I got flustered trying to explain it without outing Santa. Any ideas or tips that don't involve telling her there is no Santa? We do Santa in my house.
Maybe from now on we will support a food bank... Geez, kid.
We have the same issues with my older DD. I told her that we were helping another mommy and daddy because they didn't have the money to buy gifts but wished they could. I assured her the child would still get gifts from Santa. It helps that she's a bit older so she understands money.
Ugh. So I tried doing barefoot84's great idea of filing up a basket at the grocery store for the local food pantry. It just so happens that Amelia's school is collecting. I thought it was a perfect idea!
It was a disaster. I ended up with two crying, miserable kids at the grocery store arguing over who gets to put the last can of food in the basket. Seriously. Why does doing a good deed make my kids rotten?
My list is sewing machine and a new lens for my camera.
We have a giving tree at church and I pick a few things off and go with Tommy shopping. I always just tell him that he is very lucky but some families don't have much and we help them.
We usually sponsor a child from the angel tree and donate to toys for tots. Emma has always helped pick out the items, but this year is the dusty year she is old enough to get it. Problem is, she doesn't get it. When we picked out the angel tree child I explained to her that we would be buying toys for another child that didn't have any toys. She got really confused as to why santa wouldn't be bringing these kids toys... were they bad?, did santa not like them?, whyyyyyyyy?. I got flustered trying to explain it without outing Santa. Any ideas or tips that don't involve telling her there is no Santa? We do Santa in my house.
Maybe from now on we will support a food bank... Geez, kid.
I have found kids don't need the lengthy explanation we think they do. Try "Their mommy and daddy can't get them presents so we do." If she brings up Santa say "These presents are because their mommy and daddy can't, Santa has nothing to do with it ".
Ugh. So I tried doing barefoot84's great idea of filing up a basket at the grocery store for the local food pantry. It just so happens that Amelia's school is collecting. I thought it was a perfect idea!
It was a disaster. I ended up with two crying, miserable kids at the grocery store arguing over who gets to put the last can of food in the basket. Seriously. Why does doing a good deed make my kids rotten?
So sorry this happened
If it's any comfort, it wasn't doing a good deed that made your kids be little assholes, but just the fact that they're kids...
Also, TC, I googled "nicer word for asshole" because I didn't want to offend you and found this gem:
But I’ve noticed that moms and dads who use swear names to express their parental frustrations also have a unique respect for their children. We also have more fun with them (http://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/my-kids-an-asshole-and-so-is-yours/)
I think you did a great thing, and hopefully it's sinking in a little bit in them, even if it didn't go super well.
I also want to say that if anyone else is thinking of trying this and are of the opinion that food for the food bank should be remotely healthy, you might have a struggle ahead. I just let Tumaini choose whatever she wants for her basket, which means that there's a lot of Fruit Loops and cookies and not a whole lot of peas and carrots...
Post by xanthepants on Nov 19, 2015 17:02:18 GMT -5
So every year I'm not really "allowed/encourage/asked?" to bring anything to thanksgiving. Although every other family member (adult woman/household) is. I know my MIL is still competitive with me - whatever, zen breathing here. I'm of the upbringing that to a potluck you bring something. I don't do wine (I don't drink, nor does anyone else but 1 person so it's not really a thing in this family). Any ideas? I thought about making pumpkin bread and wrapping up individual loaves for the 5 families just to take with themselves home. Since it won't be served anyway and she would cluck around that she "already had it covered and there is too much food". Does that sound ok? I don't want to be "the ungrateful bitch that shows up just to eat and leave". I always try and help with clean up as well but I HATE staying forever and dinner is inevitably much later than they state (4 hours late last year).
xanthepants, what about just bringing some flowers for the host? That way it gives her no valid route to complain and you do not go there empty handed. It also in no way competes with food. She does not need them on the table at all, there is always a place out of the way that they could be placed if space is an issue. They could go in the living room even. Just another idea. There is nothing wrong with your idea though. Just throwing out another (and easier in my opinion).
barefoot84 no offense taken. Sometimes they are assholes. Lol.
Amelia and I delivered the food to her classroom this morning and her teacher was so appreciative. Apparently there's only one other child in the class who has donated and the collection ends tomorrow. Amelia was very proud of herself and told the teacher how she and Asher chose the food for people who aren't as lucky as we are. Point being, even though they were miserable, I guess they learned a lesson. Thanks again for the idea!
Post by xanthepants on Nov 19, 2015 21:59:22 GMT -5
lainikins, I love the flower idea. And I would totally do that but she is apparently allergic to all sorts of flowers in the last few years. Ita a good idea to not compete. With food though, you are right.
Ugh, @xanthpants, I seriously cannot understand a woman who is so bull headed to single you out in such a way. I am bitter for you. The idea of making something small for each family to take with them is a sweet idea. I think it would be s nice gesture... Of course in the back of my mind k think of any way your mil could make it into something negative.
The only negative I can think of is that it's kind of like a goodie bag type thing after a party, and she is/will be the hostess, so it would be best place to send paying gifts along with her guests. But honestly if she goes that far too be a bitter old hag about a nice gesture then I'm convinced she just will never be nice to you, even after she's 6' under.
Damn woman has to be allergic to fucking flowers, and nobody drinks. Go figure.
Oh.... What if you made a punch, non alcoholic punch that everyone could enjoy. (I still like the bread idea too though)
xanthepants if I remember correctly, you make a mean savory/sweet trifle a la Rachel from friends. Ham, maybe? Bring that. Haha.
Hmm, I think it's too exhausting to try to figure out an acceptable gift/item to bring. You're so thoughtful and kind. A nice coffee for after dinner? I know an awesome roaster...
Post by somethingcleverer on Nov 19, 2015 22:34:09 GMT -5
xanthepants I'm the passive aggressive DIL that would bring whatever I had a taste for to the party. Or bring the flowers. Lol. Is there anything that isn't covered? Cookies? Cranberries? Can you just say oh I really had a taste for X and you usually don't have that so I made some.
Otherwise what about a fake flower centerpiece? Then she'll have to keep it and reuse it every year...
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