We are heading up to FI's parents house for the weekend so I can see them before I fly back to Aus. But, i'm more excited because we will stop at Maccas (which I have been craving for weeks) and I can finally get a quarter pounder meal. McDonald's for dinner has me all sorts of excited!!!!
It's apparently National Wear Red Day. Our executive admin sent an email to all the women in the building yesterday about wearing red today to "help save women's lives." I purposely did not wear red as I hate this type of stuff. Wearing red today is not going to save anyone's life. The admin who sent the email seriously walked around this morning to check who was wearing red, as in she said to me "Hey, just checking to see who's wearing red." And everyone who is wearing red today is getting their picture taken at 2PM in the breakroom. I am rolling my eyes so hard at everyone participating.
I only like it when there is education involved, like a health fair type of thing. wearing red and still don't know what's going on? Terrible.
I can not understand people whose houses are always a mess. I am a neat freak and everyone said just wait until you have kids you will see. Well I have one who is 2.5 and I still do not see. My house is still spotless. Every night before bed DD picks up her toys and puts them away, so I guess I just don't get not having time or whatever the excuse.
This...I have my 2 kids here full time and a SS whos here every other week. My house is clean. I also work full time, granted from home, but that doesnt mean I spend all day cleaning. My kids have chores and even when they were little I still made sure the house was clean. IDK its just something I do and dont understand about friends who have kids and their houses are a war zone.
miraclebbye Yup, I actually work from home too, probably 50 hours per week but every Thursday I do dusting/and bathrooms in the morning and Friday vacuum and hardwoods on Friday along with laundry, and everything gets put away throughout the week, and so its makes cleaning much easier. DD is 2.5 and knows that before bed all of her toys get put away!
I can not understand people whose houses are always a mess. I am a neat freak and everyone said just wait until you have kids you will see. Well I have one who is 2.5 and I still do not see. My house is still spotless. Every night before bed DD picks up her toys and puts them away, so I guess I just don't get not having time or whatever the excuse.
Oh good, you can come to my place and clean it up. Yesterday I cleaned up all DD's toys and books and while I was folding laundry and putting away she pulled out all her toys and books again. My kitchen was clean when I started dinner then she pulled out all the Tupperware and lids and they were everywhere. As I'm pottying right now she's busy scattering random stuff from a box I will have to pick up as soon as I'm done. And then when I fold her diapers she will make another mess of some kind. It's super fun. I do not live in clutter/mess because I enjoy it.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
I judge houses that belong on Hoarders or people that live in just plain filth but I don't judge a house that's lived in. Life is for living and I'd much rather spend good quality time with my boyfriend and this future child than worrying about having a spotless home. I do spend time on the weekend getting my laundry done and cleaning the bathroom and I try to stay on top of the dishes during the week but my house is by no means spotless.
DH was still married when we met, too! Papers had been filed and the marriage was very much over, but they actually still lived in the same house (different rooms). Adult life is not as black and white as we thought it was when we were younger. There was no cheating and it took a long time before the divorce was finalized. Not ideal, but I would not change it for the world given the outcome!
ETA: there were no kids involved. I agree about that complicating it. This was just a marriage that never should have been and a nutso ex-wife.
I was horrible with money after high school. My parents never taught me how to be responsible with it, and high school sure didn't either. Pair that with the fact that they start throwing credit cards at you the day you turn 18, and it's a recipe for disaster. I'm still paying for it now, literally.
I think high school should teach more real life practical skills - like managing finances, CPR, and even cooking classes for everyone.
In Wisconsin, it is now required for students to take a personal finance class before they graduate. I think that's a great idea.
I totally agree with this. I went to an expensive, private liberal arts college. I even work within my major field and by far the class that I use the most and has the most practical applications was an Investing 101 class I took on a whim.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
Ha! I double dare anyone who thinks it isn't hard to maintain a spotless house to live with DH for a week. He's gone 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, and still makes more of a mess than the 4 creatures who are here full time combined. The only time my house is clean is when he's gone on business.
DH was still married when we met, too! Papers had been filed and the marriage was very much over, but they actually still lived in the same house (different rooms). Adult life is not as black and white as we thought it was when we were younger. There was no cheating and it took a long time before the divorce was finalized. Not ideal, but I would not change it for the world given the outcome!
ETA: there were no kids involved. I agree about that complicating it. This was just a marriage that never should have been and a nutso ex-wife.
I was technically still married when I became involved with my current boyfriend. It isn't something that I'm proud of and we both waited until I moved out and into my own place but the papers were not filed yet. Life happens. My marriage was over and there was no reconciling. It was just a matter of paperwork and nothing more.
I did get some backlash from a few super conservative family members but it isn't their life to live.
I can not understand people whose houses are always a mess. I am a neat freak and everyone said just wait until you have kids you will see. Well I have one who is 2.5 and I still do not see. My house is still spotless. Every night before bed DD picks up her toys and puts them away, so I guess I just don't get not having time or whatever the excuse.
Sorry, I know FFFC, but I'm going to flame this a little bit.
You don't get to assume you know other people's circumstances. It's not just about time, it's also about stress and how they handle it. You have no idea what people go through all day, what commitments they have, and how they are mentally handling things. Good for you for having a spotless house. Do you find cleaning relaxing? Does it drive you totally crazy to see a mess? Do you feel energized while cleaning? Is your one child (sorry, had to point that out) a good sleeper and relatively well-behaved and happy? Are you a SAHM, or do you work part-time, and is your job relatively low-stress? Do you have any stressful family situations going on right now? Do you have any health issues that make it difficult to clean? I'm willing to bet at least a couple of these things are true for you, but they are not true for everyone. There are people for whom having a spotless house simply isn't worth the mental breakdown that would occur having to keep it that way.
If you really are a neat freak, I'm going to assume you can't STAND a mess and can't relax while there is one. I can, and I have to, or my entire family suffers.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
I judge houses that belong on Hoarders or people that live in just plain filth but I don't judge a house that's lived in. Life is for living and I'd much rather spend good quality time with my boyfriend and this future child than worrying about having a spotless home. I do spend time on the weekend getting my laundry done and cleaning the bathroom and I try to stay on top of the dishes during the week but my house is by no means spotless.
My XH was buying a motorcycle from these people and we went to the house to see it/test drive it and the garage was clean and bikes hung up and I saw little shoes in their place by the door and what not (evidence of children) but when we were ushered into the house I was freaked out... No sign of life... Or kids. Like no books on the coffee table, no cups or mugs on the table or counter, no pictures or art on the fridge, no toys not even one hanging around... It was like a staged model house. Seriously freaky stuff. Like we clean up and wipe down surfaces and vacuum and do bathrooms and stuff but you cannot live in pure spotlessness. It was seriously frightening. My mom's (parents') house is CLEAN and not cluttered, but you see a drinking glass on the counter, her bible and notepad on her desk, a cat toy here or there, dad's shoes by the back door... It looks lived in at least.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
I said "clean" not spotless. Theres always time to wipe down a bathroom, vacuum food and dirt from the floor, and have clean plates for your babies food. There are a few friends of mine who just dont. Period.
I DEF don't feel like you are a home wrecker (it was over already). But I think there is a certain amount of time and respect that can be missed when you start dating someone before they are divorced. I especially feel this way when there are kids involved. I don't judge you, but I personally wouldn't be able to get involved with someone under those circumstances. I would only be able to think if I was in her shoes and if those were my children.
I get what you're saying, but this to me is almost like a never say never type thing. You can say that you wouldn't, but if you met someone that you knew you were going to spend the rest of your life with, I think it might be a little different.
I would have to put that on hold until that situation was resolved. I get finding someone you are head over heels for, but what will be shall happen and if not then that wasn't for me. These are one of those things that I just can't get past, it may have a lot to do with the way I way brought up.
Also, she clearly says she can't help to feel like she's a home wrecker (which I don't think she is), and that is a feeling I wouldn't be able to live with.
I can not understand people whose houses are always a mess. I am a neat freak and everyone said just wait until you have kids you will see. Well I have one who is 2.5 and I still do not see. My house is still spotless. Every night before bed DD picks up her toys and puts them away, so I guess I just don't get not having time or whatever the excuse.
I can not understand people whose houses are always a mess. I am a neat freak and everyone said just wait until you have kids you will see. Well I have one who is 2.5 and I still do not see. My house is still spotless. Every night before bed DD picks up her toys and puts them away, so I guess I just don't get not having time or whatever the excuse.
emu0013 - That is because you only have one. Just wait for the day you have two or more running around, you worked all day and are tired and your DH is making messes here and there, and once you finally get all kids to sleep, the last thing you want to do is clean.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
I said "clean" not spotless. Theres always time to wipe down a bathroom, vacuum food and dirt from the floor, and have clean plates for your babies food. There are a few friends of mine who just dont. Period.
You said clean, but emu0013 was referring to her spotless house.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
I said "clean" not spotless. Theres always time to wipe down a bathroom, vacuum food and dirt from the floor, and have clean plates for your babies food. There are a few friends of mine who just dont. Period.
I was mostly referring to emu. But nobody said anything about giving babies food on dirty plates - I think anyone would take issue with that. That's very different than expecting someone to maintain a clean or spotless house at all times, and judging them for not doing so.
I judge people who judge others for not having a spotless house. Good for you and everything but seriously? Get over yourself.
I said "clean" not spotless. Theres always time to wipe down a bathroom, vacuum food and dirt from the floor, and have clean plates for your babies food. There are a few friends of mine who just dont. Period.
Sure, there is always time for everything. Anyone can find 20 minutes to exercise every day. Anyone can find a few minutes to whip up eggs in the morning instead of having a bowl of cereal. Anyone can spend 10 minutes a week planning the rest of their meals for the week. Anyone can spare 15 minutes a day to take their kids to school and back. Anyone can spare a few minutes for their mom on the phone. Anyone can spare a night a week for date night. Anyone can find the extra time to really sit and play with their children and read them that extra bedtime story and be the quality mom that they promised themselves they'd be. Anyone can find time to write a quick thank-you note. Oh, and anyone can find 20 minutes a day to relax and do something for YOU, because you deserve it and that's important too!
All those things just add up, and something's gotta give.
Sometimes I go to bed without sweeping, even though it would take me 2 minutes. And another 2 minutes to wipe the counters. Another 10 to pick up the toys in the playroom. Another 5 to vacuum the living room carpet. 5 more to put away that laundry. Before I know it I'm an hour late to bed and I still haven't showered. The point is, it's not as simple as "anyone can find the time to ____+" because there is more going on in life than that one thing. Like PP said, priorities. Sometimes bed is my priority.
I was mostly referring to emu. But nobody said anything about giving babies food on dirty plates - I think anyone would take issue with that. That's very different than expecting someone to maintain a clean or spotless house at all times, and judging them for not doing so.
PAPER PLATES FTW!!!
This made me literally laugh out loud because there have been times when I serve dinner on paper plates for the sole reason of not wanting to clean up afterward. Same goes with plastic ware.
I would have to put that on hold until that situation was resolved. I get finding someone you are head over heels for, but what will be shall happen and if not then that wasn't for me. These are one of those things that I just can't get past, it may have a lot to do with the way I way brought up.
Also, she clearly says she can't help to feel like she's a home wrecker (which I don't think she is), and that is a feeling I wouldn't be able to live with.
I really dislike when people say this. Were you brought up better than me or her because you "say" you wouldn't do something? Nope, nope, and nope.
Woah.. hold on there missy you're taking this way out of context. I didn't mean it like that at all. I'll have you know I respect alwayslastzz very much and I in no way think I am better than her or anyone here. I'm also going to stop this because the only thing I'm trying to say is I would have taken a different route and I was referring to being brought up in a conservative home, not being better than anyone. I can clearly understand why others make their decision and I don't judge (as I stated already), I'm just saying what I wouldn't do.
I was mostly referring to emu. But nobody said anything about giving babies food on dirty plates - I think anyone would take issue with that. That's very different than expecting someone to maintain a clean or spotless house at all times, and judging them for not doing so.
PAPER PLATES FTW!!!
Honestly we use paper plates for the kids quite a bit. Kids eat a lot yo and thats a lot of dishes to do!
I guess unless you've got loads of money, it seems kind of odd to not bring in the extra income if you're able too. I'd do it in a second but we'd have to have SO much money for me to feel comfortable. I do get that it works for some couples and that's ok. Edited to tag: shmee
Post by rocksforludo on Feb 6, 2015 11:30:09 GMT -5
This'll probably get some flame but I can take it. I read posts here and there that mention people hiding stuff from their husbands or that their husbands would potentially get mad about that I would just tell my DH to fuck off if he ever said anything to me about. Like eating cookie dough while pregnant or not doing a certain amount of chores for a day while home as a SAHM. I'm not saying that the ladies here posting are wrong or judging their relationships and I get why a father would be concerned about the health of his baby. I'm just confessing that I rarely, if ever, worry about what DH thinks about my actions (ha, that sounds fucking terrible). Maybe it's because we agree on so much in general.
I just think if I'm the one who is pregnant or if I'm the one who is staying at home with the kids and taking care of the house, I'll do as I see fit and DH would have to just trust me and roll with that. You can all feel sorry for my husband and child now!
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