Post by wegrowsheep on May 4, 2016 14:36:43 GMT -5
Hi June 16! June 15 would like to bestow upon you all our incredible and unmatched knowledge (feel the sarcasm here) as you begin welcoming your little ones into the world.
First of all HOORAY!! for being so close to done with pregnancy and getting to meet your child/children. And getting to have wine again, and sleep on your back...
And now, June 15 ladies, feel free to offer congrats, advice for that first month, stuff you used a lot, things you never needed, hairpats, wine choices, gifs, etc.
Congratulations ladies! You've made it! Here is my unsolicited advice/words of wisdom:
1) Trust your gut. Always. Don't be afraid of being "that mom". If you think you should call the dr or the nurse to ask about something, just call. It doesn't matter how many times. A phone call can't hurt. And that's why they get paid.
2) Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to "enjoy every moment because it goes by so fast". You can say eff this crap to certain moments in your precious littles life and pray that they pass quickly. (I'm looking in your direction, 4 month sleep regression)
3) Get a baby carrier. Doesn't matter what type. Wrap, ergo, tula, etc. Just get one. Get familiar with it. This is the only way I got things done on some days in the beginning.
4) Maintain the bond that you've formed with the ladies on your BMB. It's an incredible source of support, laughter, T&Ps, commiseration and ideas.
5) Swaddle! Even if you think the LO doesn't like it at first. It will be your life saver. Also, invest in a couple of those velcro swaddles, because trying to do a tight swaddle with a blanket, wiggly newborn, and about 45 minutes of sleep in the past 2 days never ended well for me.
6) If you decide to use a lovey with LO, buy multiples. Switch them out occasionally. Nothing is worse than LO needing the lovey to sleep, and then realizing you left it at the babysitters. Have multiples on hand.
7) Don't get caught up in the mommy wars.
That's it! Good luck to you all as you approach the end of your pregnancy. I wish you all a speedy and safe labor and delivery.
wegrowsheep, I miss nap jail so much. I often viewed it as a hostage situation during the time, but now I just want to chase her around and yell "HUG ME!!! CUDDLE ME!!!!"
Also, one other piece of advice, take the time every few months to start up a thread called "My child isn't…" because you will get caught up in what everyone else's babies seem to be doing, and even though you'll know better in your head, you won't be able to help compare. "Why are all the babies sitting and mine isn't? Is something wrong? Is she developmentally behind??" Start that thread and you'll be reassured at how many other momma's are in the same boat. It is a very reassuring and cathartic thread.
Remember that the less sleep you get, the faster you evolve into a superhuman that no longer requires sleep at all. I haven't really slept in 10 months and look at me now:
Hurrah! Congratulations and the best of luck to you all! You must be starting to feel ready not to be pregnant any more.
I'm going to share a couple of things I really wish people had said to me.
1) If you plan to breastfeed, fantastic! I really hope it works out for you. However, if it doesn't, you haven't let anyone down, you are not in any way a failure, and it doesn't mean your baby will grow up to hate you.
Also, if you plan to formula feed right from the start, that's fantastic too:-)
2) Not all babies accept being carried. Mine always screamed like a stuck pig when I attempted it. So lots of things didn't get done in the early days. That's life with a baby :-)
3) Expect the unexpected. Every child is different, right from the start. One of the unexpected things is quite how much love they bring with them.
4) The people who tell you to enjoy every moment are looking through rose tinted spectacles. They are remembering the amazing, joyful parts of having a new baby and they have genuinely forgotten that it's the hardest job they've ever had in their lives. Smile, through gritted teeth if necessary, and if their children are relatively young, try to take a tiny bit of encouragement from how quickly they've forgotten.
5) If you have any pre-conceptions about what kind of parent you'll be, try to let them go before your child arrives. I assumed I would be an extended breastfeeding, babywearing mummy. My daughter had other ideas. But she still thinks I'm perfect, because I'm her mummy.
Finally, here is my Laura on the day she was born, and today, at ten and a half months.
Be prepared for one of the fastest and most wonderful years of your life!
Newly STM brace yourself for the possibility that your toddler (if you have one) may be much needier than the baby during the first month, or if your toddler is like mine, maybe even the first full year... A carrier is your friend, now even more than ever. And don't feel bad not giving your full attention to the baby when your older child thinks he/she NEEDS YOU OMG THIS SECOND. Congrats and good luck!
Get your husband, partner, SO, best friend, mother, or whoever is the best person for the job, to make a list of post-pregnancy food and alcohol. Make sure they help you consume everything on the list as soon as is feasible. This is important.
Get your husband, partner, SO, best friend, mother, or whoever is the best person for the job, to make a list of post-pregnancy food and alcohol. Make sure they help you consume everything on the list as soon as is feasible. This is important.
Word! I told my DH that if someone didn't bring me a very cold, very dirty vodka martini with blue cheese stuffed olives within hours of delivering, heads would roll.
Congratulations to all of you! You are in for one hell of a ride and you will love (and hate sometimes) every moment of it!
Here's what I've got for you: 1. Don't set the expectation for yourself to be superhuman. You don't need to have the dishes done each night, a new outfit each day, a clean house, or anything checked off of your to do list. You're taking care of a newborn, that's enough of a chore.
2. If you don't have Netflix, Amazon Prime, or one of those other accounts, invest now! There will be lots of nap jail in your future. Keep the remote close by because nap jail when the remote is on the other side of the living room is pure torture.
3. Find ways to make your life easier in those first few weeks/months. DH and I only used paper plates, disposable cups and anything else that meant we didn't need to load the dishwasher. This was a genius move on our part!
4. Leaving your child to go back to work is hard, but I can assure you that it does get a little easier after the first few days. It will always be hard, but nothing like those first few days.
5. You don't need to love every moment of being a mom. There will be hard moments, hard nights, hard weeks, hard months. This doesn't stop. Don't feel bad if you hate a phase or end up hating a day.
6. Something tiffbot shared a while ago that has stuck with me - when talking about your relationship with your SO. The highs are higher than before kids and the lows are lower than before kids. Your husband, or whoever your person is, is learning to parent just like you. Keep that in mind when you want to wring his neck. Like wegrowsheep said, let them do their thing, because watching your husband be a father is the absolute best thing ever!
Enjoy it ladies and good luck to each of you; it goes waaay too fast! I wish you quick and easy labors, healthy babies and lots of snuggle time in the very near future!
Post by carolyngrace on May 4, 2016 16:09:11 GMT -5
Yes, "today is not forever" was my mantra the first few months. Both during the excruciating hard parts, and the blissfully good ones.
I'm pretty emotional thinking of you all starting your journey (or continuing it for those already with babies). I can't think of much else that hasn't been said, other than if you haven't been a part of an online birth month group, DO take some time and invest here. I remember feeling like I'd never really "know" the ladies in my group, and I had enough IRL friends, but this group has been such a special place for me. So even if you fall into crazy baby land for a couple months, come back to these women and AW your shit and be loved.
I'm going to echo what these lovely ladies have stated: Don't compare your babies to the other babies on the board...each baby is different. The "My baby isn't...." threads have made me realize that and feel more normal with my no solid food eating, no teeth at 10 months, child.
If you're a soon to be STM, take your oldest on "dates" if possible.
If you feel like something is wrong (whether with you or baby) reach out to someone. This board will be invaluable for that.
It's ok to not have that "OMG I LOVE MY BABY" feeling right away, not everyone does.
Take LOTS of pictures, it flies by so fast!
Congrats ladies! Can't wait to look at the birth stories soon!
Congrats June soon to be moms!!! You are in the home stretch!!
I wish you a smooth and easy transition into motherhood. You are about to go through a roller coaster of emotions and an experience that will bring you so much happiness and joy.
A few words of advice for those first months. It's ok to let your baby fuss or cry while you take time for yourself to take a shower or eat a meal. It might not be your most relaxing shower or dinner but it's necessary sometimes. taking time for yourself is ok and in the end it can make you a better mom.
it's ok to let your husband experiment in his own way with caring for the baby and putting the baby to sleep. With my first child I was super controlling with giving too many opinions to H about how to care for the baby. Let your H find his own way. In the end it will make him a happier and better dad.
Take lots of little videos in addition to photos of your newborn. They grow so fast and now I just love looking back at those quick videos of them sleeping, opening and closing their eyes for the first time, cuddling. Precious moments!
Best of luck to all of you!!
my June baby DD 1 day old soon to be turning 1 on June 1st!
Hi ladies! I'm so excited for you to start your new journey. Here are some of my tidbits to share. 1. If you can, make freezer meals before you LO comes. I made muffins, lasagna, manicotti, and other stuff I found on Pinterest. 2. Also take some time off for just you if it's possible. 3. The best birth plan is to have a safe, healthy baby. Your OB/midwife/doula has everyone's best interests in mind. 4. After your LO comes, accept help when it's offered. 5. Sleep will happen when it happens. Do what you're comfortable with. I was all "My baby will sleep through the night by 12 week and use cry it out and blah blah blah." I was wrong. I had nothing to do with when he started to sleep. He just magically did it around 9 months. 6. Every two weeks will be different...dare I say better? The first few weeks are a blur. 7. My mantra were/are "This is only temporary" and "He won't be doing _____ when he goes to college."
I didn't expect to have that many. Sorry for the word vomit.
You'll be great.
Eta-In addition to taking lots of pictures, take video. I wish I had more of my LO when he was itty bitty.
My fellow J15 ladies - I'm tearing up just reading all of the great advice you all are sharing! Here is my input to pass along to you J16 ladies
If you plan to nurse and it doesn't end up working out, you are NOT failing your baby or yourself. Sometimes things are out of our control. Finally deciding to quit at 3 weeks was the hardest decision for me and I was an emotional wreck over it, but my baby is happy and healthy, and in the end, that's all that really matters.
Yes, yes, YES to swaddling! And an even bigger yes to the velcro swaddles. They were a game-changer in the sleep category for us.
The rock n play is the best thing ever invented.
Sleep when baby sleeps and let people help you when they offer.
Becoming a mommy has been the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Be prepared to feel love like you have never felt before. I seriously can not even describe it. Your heart will be so full of every single emotion possible. There will be great times, and there will also be times where you feel so overwhelmed and defeated. In those times, just remember the phrase "this, too, shall pass."
Congratulations to all of your ladies. I'm so excited for each and every one of you!
Congratulations ladies! You are almost at the finish line. The advice given so far is amazing and I would have never made it through the newborn stage of not for them. (Even though I was a dirty lurker) Tomorrow is a new day was my mantra to live by for the first 3 or 4 months, and some days now too. Don't get caught up in people disagreeing with your parenting or with what you do to make it through. I have a lot of trouble with criticism for how we sleep but it works for us. If something works then continue doing it. If it stops working then you can figure out a new way. Enjoy nap jail while you can. It's easy to spiral into thoughts of what you should be doing but to me the most important thing was my baby. A clean house can wait. I hope everyone has an uneventful delivery! Congratulations!
The other ladies have offered wonderful advice, the keys being: Every baby is different. My baby needed to be swaddled to sleep, wouldn't touch a puree to save his life, and would not sleep flat for the first seven months or so of his life. Your baby may or may not be similar. This board will be invaluable for tips, tricks, advice, and commiseration, but at the end of the day, you'll need to figure out what works for YOUR baby, and roll with it.
Ask for help if you need it. You will need it at some point, and seriously, it takes a village.
Reading all this is turning me into an emotional train wreck. Prepare for that to happen a lot.
And finally, here's my little boy the day he was born
And the other day, about 10 1/2 months
Enjoy your babies! It's cliche, but they really do grow so fast (though it's true, you don't have to enjoy EVERY moment)!
Thanks June 15 ladies! I'm a STM but it's still so nice to hear this advice and made me get al teary! Since my DD is 2.5 it's been fun to think back on that first year with you guys again. Happy soon to be birthday to your little ones!!
ETA: for you June 15 ladies if you think year 1 flies by be prepared to be amazed at the next year. They grow and change so so much from 1-2 you won't even be able to recognize them. It's truely mind blowing watching their minds click and their vocabulary grow. I was far more emotional at her 2nd birthday than her first! Just you wait and see!
Thank you, ladies! Totally agree with nymama917, all of the advice took me right back to the newborn days with DS and made me even more excited for baby brother to arrive! And she's right, time just speeds up through the years so hold on tight and have fun!
This is also where I confess that I landed on J15 about a month ago thinking I was here, and was totally WTFing the fact that "we" were already talking about first birthday plans! Happy almost birthday to your LOs!
My fellow J15 ladies - I'm tearing up just reading all of the great advice you all are sharing! Here is my input to pass along to you J16 ladies
If you plan to nurse and it doesn't end up working out, you are NOT failing your baby or yourself. Sometimes things are out of our control. Finally deciding to quit at 3 weeks was the hardest decision for me and I was an emotional wreck over it, but my baby is happy and healthy, and in the end, that's all that really matters.
Yes, yes, YES to swaddling! And an even bigger yes to the velcro swaddles. They were a game-changer in the sleep category for us. The rock n play is the best thing ever invented.
Sleep when baby sleeps and let people help you when they offer.
Becoming a mommy has been the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. Be prepared to feel love like you have never felt before. I seriously can not even describe it. Your heart will be so full of every single emotion possible. There will be great times, and there will also be times where you feel so overwhelmed and defeated. In those times, just remember the phrase "this, too, shall pass."
Congratulations to all of your ladies. I'm so excited for each and every one of you!
Hi! I have an almost 1 year old girl and almost 3 year old boy whaat!
I'm going to keep it simple since there's already been tons of great advice given, and gonna pass along a supportive "you got this". You will find your groove. It will take you 452 tries to find it. And that's ok And then you'll change it 963 times as they continue to age. Haha. Seriously though, even when it seems like you don't have it, you do. Everyone is learning something every day.
I wish you all the best for you and your future families, and also hope that your board continues to be a safe and supportive place for you all as you enter your new journey together!
Post by wegrowsheep on May 4, 2016 21:52:51 GMT -5
nymama917 I blinked, and DD is halfway to being a teenager...
Another thing... There will days that you nail the mom thing. The to-do list will be your bitch, and the house will look great, and the kids will be well-behaved and take long, simultaneous naps. And there will also be days that you never get out of your bathrobe and Dora parents your toddler while you drift in and out of consciousness on the couch and wipe your drool off the baby's head. Most days will be a mix of the two.
Also, if you declare that you're "done,"and get rid of all your baby gear, you may end up with one of these...
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