Post by LadyNymeria on Jun 29, 2016 8:41:11 GMT -5
Stuck in the jury pool room all day. Was hoping they'd send me packing when they saw the belly but no luck. And I forgot my phone charger. Good thing I brought books.
Morning guise. I've been down in the dumps the last couple days. I haven't been feeling well and I have all this guilt about not keeping up on the housework. I realize I should probably cut myself some slack being almost 31 weeks pregnant but I'm used to a certain standard in my house and I'm frustrated at my lack of energy to do anything about it. I'm a little annoyed at H because I feel like I've been pretty cool with letting him go out and relax if he needs to where as I feel like I'm dying for a break.
Also I have a pinched nerve or something in my back and my hips are on fire.
Morning guise. I've been down in the dumps the last couple days. I haven't been feeling well and I have all this guilt about not keeping up on the housework. I realize I should probably cut myself some slack being almost 31 weeks pregnant but I'm used to a certain standard in my house and I'm frustrated at my lack of energy to do anything about it. I'm a little annoyed at H because I feel like I've been pretty cool with letting him go out and relax if he needs to where as I feel like I'm dying for a break.
Also I have a pinched nerve or something in my back and my hips are on fire.
Here's some cheese to go with my whine
Edit: words
Give yourself some slack and take time for yourself. I know it's easier said then done.
Your picture makes me want poutine, I see gravy instead of cheese...
Morning guise. I've been down in the dumps the last couple days. I haven't been feeling well and I have all this guilt about not keeping up on the housework. I realize I should probably cut myself some slack being almost 31 weeks pregnant but I'm used to a certain standard in my house and I'm frustrated at my lack of energy to do anything about it. I'm a little annoyed at H because I feel like I've been pretty cool with letting him go out and relax if he needs to where as I feel like I'm dying for a break.
Also I have a pinched nerve or something in my back and my hips are on fire.
Here's some cheese to go with my whine
Edit: words
Give yourself some slack and take time for yourself. I know it's easier said then done.
Your picture makes me want poutine, I see gravy instead of cheese...
I know. My house is a disaster though. I feel like I can't even catch up on basic shit like laundry. After I get off work I'm exhausted. I forgot this portion of pregnancy from DS1. Third trimester is always the hardest for me.
Give yourself some slack and take time for yourself. I know it's easier said then done.
Your picture makes me want poutine, I see gravy instead of cheese...
I know. My house is a disaster though. I feel like I can't even catch up on basic shit like laundry. After I get off work I'm exhausted. I forgot this portion of pregnancy from DS1. Third trimester is always the hardest for me.
I had to google poutine. No thanks
What?!?!? Poutine is our national dish! It's a Canadian national treasure. I've been craving one for a while now. Paging pippacricket for support!
I know. My house is a disaster though. I feel like I can't even catch up on basic shit like laundry. After I get off work I'm exhausted. I forgot this portion of pregnancy from DS1. Third trimester is always the hardest for me.
I had to google poutine. No thanks
What?!?!? Poutine is our national dish! It's a Canadian national treasure. I've been craving one for a while now. Paging pippacricket for support!
Why would you ruin fries with gravy? (lol did I just offend all Canadians?) Then again this is coming from someone who puts fries in BBQ sauce and sriracha
I'm not Canadian (and have never even been to Canada), but give me all the poutine - it looks delicious!!!!
I did something to my back on Sunday (while stretching - WTF?), and now I'm getting sharp pain in my left hip when I get up in the morning and any other time I've been sitting/laying down for a while. singingsea, I hope you start feeling better soon, and if you find anything that helps, please let me know!
Vent warning: In addition to the back/hip issue, our alarm company just called to reschedule our appointment that was supposed to be tonight. They came on Friday to update our system only to tell us their system was down so they couldn't do the update (why did I sit around for the entire 4 hour window waiting for them to show up?). They rescheduled for tonight and have now cancelled and don't have another evening appointment for 2 weeks. We're also supposed to be going to the beach with my family for the holiday weekend, and there is already drama as to who is sleeping where in the house (my younger sister always insists on getting the only queen bed in the house other than the master bedroom - normally that's fine, but I'm 7 months pregnant and having back/hip issues and would rather not squeeze myself into a twin bed with a saggy mattress). If it weren't for DD, I would just cancel, but she loves going to the beaches and lakes by my parents' vacation house.
singingsea, definitely cut yourself some slack. You are in the third trimester! Have you ever considered hiring someone to help? I hired a lady to clean the house top to bottom once a month. It still needs work in between, but it has been life changing. I would cut cable or my cell phone bill before I cut our once/month cleaning.
I'm feeling whiney today too. I cried the entire drive to work and showed up puffy faced with red eyes. I don't know if DH is getting worse with helping around the house, but I can't take it. I don't know if it's always been this bad, or I'm just noticing it more now that I'm so pregnant trying to take care of a 2 year old myself. He gets out of bed 45 minutes after me, usually after DS is awake. And I leave for work earlier, and I work longer hours. This morning I realized DS' camp shirt hadn't been washed, he still needed his lunch packed, he had peed out of his night diaper, and was starving. I didn't have time to eat until I got to work, yet DH rolls out of bed, leisurely showers and gets ready, then wanders downstairs as I'm in the middle of doing EVERYTHING. I started bawling and just stormed out of the house. Yet if I dare say a word about him not helping, I get a lecture about how amazing he is. Again, I work longer hours, have more responsibility at work, do all the grocery shopping, do all the cooking, and the majority of the housework and taking care of DS. I don't think DH even knows what size clothes DS wears or where the grocery store is. I'm seriously considering splitting our bank accounts, going 50/50 on bills, and tracking my hours spent on childcare/housework and billing him. Sorry to drag the mood of the board down, feel free to ignore....
singingsea , definitely cut yourself some slack. You are in the third trimester! Have you ever considered hiring someone to help? I hired a lady to clean the house top to bottom once a month. It still needs work in between, but it has been life changing. I would cut cable or my cell phone bill before I cut our once/month cleaning.
I'm feeling whiney today too. I cried the entire drive to work and showed up puffy faced with red eyes. I don't know if DH is getting worse with helping around the house, but I can't take it. I don't know if it's always been this bad, or I'm just noticing it more now that I'm so pregnant trying to take care of a 2 year old myself. He gets out of bed 45 minutes after me, usually after DS is awake. And I leave for work earlier, and I work longer hours. This morning I realized DS' camp shirt hadn't been washed, he still needed his lunch packed, he had peed out of his night diaper, and was starving. I didn't have time to eat until I got to work, yet DH rolls out of bed, leisurely showers and gets ready, then wanders downstairs as I'm in the middle of doing EVERYTHING. I started bawling and just stormed out of the house. Yet if I dare say a word about him not helping, I get a lecture about how amazing he is. Again, I work longer hours, have more responsibility at work, do all the grocery shopping, do all the cooking, and the majority of the housework and taking care of DS. I don't think DH even knows what size clothes DS wears or where the grocery store is. I'm seriously considering splitting our bank accounts, going 50/50 on bills, and tracking my hours spent on childcare/housework and billing him. Sorry to drag the mood of the board down, feel free to ignore....
I'm sorry f14mama you just described my mornings too. I do everything. Hugs! H really does try his best but with him working four tens until the school year starts the mornings and evenings fall on me. I think we both need to have a conversation with our husbands. I plan on making a honey-do list for H for Friday because last Friday he went golfing :/
We do have a house cleaner we hired to clean once a month and my house is still a wreck. That or I have stupidly high expectations for cleanliness. I grew up with a mom who was a neat freak.
Post by serendipity731 on Jun 29, 2016 10:17:02 GMT -5
f14mama *hugs* I'd have reacted the same way, but I probably would've yelled something too. That sounds rough with out adding pregnancy to the situation. Can you have a come to Jesus talk with him about helping out in the morning? Or packing DS's lunch the night before? I hope he starts helping out more.
Thanks guys, sorry to be a downer. We have had a few "come to Jesus" talks. The plan is for whoever isn't putting DS to bed, gets him ready for school the next day. And what a surprise, DH has started to not hold up to his end, and then not tell me. Thus, my surprise this morning. This is our cycle, I have a meltdown, tell him I need help, he does it for maybe a couple weeks, then completely stops. Until I have a new meltdown and we go through it again. I'm honestly so tired of talking to him about it and asking him to help me. And it's honestly kind of humiliating to keep having to grovel and ask him for help, only to have him ignore me and tell me how lucky I am that he mows the lawn and keeps chemicals in the pool
f14mama, I'm sorry you have to deal with everything on your own. I would have a conversation with him if I were you. Maybe write down everything you do before talking to him. It might put things in perspective for him. Was he raised in that type of family dynamic? Not an excuse obviously though. I would talk to him before #2 arrives because it won't get easier. Big hugs to you.
Post by serendipity731 on Jun 29, 2016 10:27:19 GMT -5
singingsea def cut yourself some slack! Could you plan a little outing for yourself on your H's day off and say "bye honey, be back later!" Moms need breaks too, fa sho!
What's up with the high maintenance sisters?? Pregnant always wins the better bed!
DS's summer tumbling class starts this morning, so I'm already showered and dressed. Not much else going on today.
Post by singingsea on Jun 29, 2016 10:31:49 GMT -5
What sodapop said. Write down everything you do so he understands the gravity of the situation.
Also my best friend is dealing with the same thing. They have two kids, both work and her H's only responsibilities are taking care of the lawn/outside. Which he doesn't do. It's bullshit.
What?!?!? Poutine is our national dish! It's a Canadian national treasure. I've been craving one for a while now. Paging pippacricket for support!
Why would you ruin fries with gravy? (lol did I just offend all Canadians?) Then again this is coming from someone who puts fries in BBQ sauce and sriracha
Yum. I like mixing hot sauce with ketchup for my fries, or thousand island is good too (not with hot sauce though). But, not the pre-made spicy ketchup, cuz that's nasty.
I'd probably try gravy on fries, I like it on mashed potatos.
I'm having a tough week. Emotionally I'm a nutcase. Physically I just hurt. singingsea,I also have the hip pain thing. My dr said its the sciatic (sp?) nerve. Well it is so painful, all the time. Heat does help, a hot shower or hot water bottle. Placed against the hurting spot. Also she said to do stretches twice a day. like cat stretches, you know where you arch your back. I've been trying that but it hurts. She also said having hubs rub my lower back/upper hip area somewhat hard will help. That does help when I can get hubs to do it. but only temporarily. Anyways, maybe you guys can try those things and get some relief. I think all the pain is making me feel more depressed. I'm taking off work at lunch tomorrow to go to a movie by myself. Just have a little me time. OH, and lo is cutting two molars at the same time so has been competing for the worlds crankiest baby ever award.
singingsea, definitely cut yourself some slack. You are in the third trimester! Have you ever considered hiring someone to help? I hired a lady to clean the house top to bottom once a month. It still needs work in between, but it has been life changing. I would cut cable or my cell phone bill before I cut our once/month cleaning.
I'm feeling whiney today too. I cried the entire drive to work and showed up puffy faced with red eyes. I don't know if DH is getting worse with helping around the house, but I can't take it. I don't know if it's always been this bad, or I'm just noticing it more now that I'm so pregnant trying to take care of a 2 year old myself. He gets out of bed 45 minutes after me, usually after DS is awake. And I leave for work earlier, and I work longer hours. This morning I realized DS' camp shirt hadn't been washed, he still needed his lunch packed, he had peed out of his night diaper, and was starving. I didn't have time to eat until I got to work, yet DH rolls out of bed, leisurely showers and gets ready, then wanders downstairs as I'm in the middle of doing EVERYTHING. I started bawling and just stormed out of the house. Yet if I dare say a word about him not helping, I get a lecture about how amazing he is. Again, I work longer hours, have more responsibility at work, do all the grocery shopping, do all the cooking, and the majority of the housework and taking care of DS. I don't think DH even knows what size clothes DS wears or where the grocery store is. I'm seriously considering splitting our bank accounts, going 50/50 on bills, and tracking my hours spent on childcare/housework and billing him. Sorry to drag the mood of the board down, feel free to ignore....
I had some of the same issues with DH. Well, it was worse last pregnancy because I was working crazy hours and teaching on top of my regular job, and responsible for handling everything with DS. But, DH left for work before me every day and we got home around the same time except twice a week I came home after. He had to step up and do the laundry because I just couldn't keep up with it, and when I did any I made sure to do mine but maybe not his. Also, I cook which means he should clean up after. He wasn't, so for a few days I cooked, served mine, put everything away and cleaned up, then ate mine. He got the hint. (I had spoken to him about it before but that obviously didn't work).
This pregnancy my biggest complaint is he sits on his ass when he gets home and I have to ask him to spend time with his daughter, which usually equals him sharing an orange with her. I was in a lot of pain last night (back and hip) and he was too busy with his phone to notice...
Stuck in the jury pool room all day. Was hoping they'd send me packing when they saw the belly but no luck. And I forgot my phone charger. Good thing I brought books.
This sounds like a very unfun time. Sorry they didn't cut you right away.
What?!?!? Poutine is our national dish! It's a Canadian national treasure. I've been craving one for a while now. Paging pippacricket for support!
Why would you ruin fries with gravy? (lol did I just offend all Canadians?) Then again this is coming from someone who puts fries in BBQ sauce and sriracha
I agree with this, but I also hate gravy period. So yeah.
f14mama what you're going through sounds like my H before we realized he was struggling with depression/anxiety. He would help for a few days then revert to hiding in the basement watching TV. (Not saying by any means that is your H's issue.) We both didn't realize how bad it was until he got on the medicine and really started helping out again. I feel for ya girl.
DD is car napping and she really really needed it. My sister slept until 9:30, and is still a grouch. Maybe I should have forced her to take a car nap too.
Gorgeous weather though, DD and I had fun at the park this morning.
Sorry to those having a rough day and having pain. My hips, back, and pelvis hurt and it's starting to go down my legs it didn't do that with DS. I took DS to the pool today and he had a blast. Love seeing him so happy.
Sorry beckyrosen, that sucks. That shit drives me crazy, I LOVE your strategy that you used before. I may just start doing that and letting him truly feel what it's like to fend for himself.
fem, you know, I've definitely wondered if he has something going on. He definitely doesn't "connect" with people or have empathy like he should. I've always chalked this up to him being aloof, but I'm really starting to wonder if it's something deeper. His Mom effed him up in a pretty good way by smothering him to death, so he always had social and anxiety issues and is the first to admit that and will say things like "I don't want DS to struggle like I did". Glad you guys got it figured out!
LadyNymeria, how's jury duty??? Did you get released?
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