Post by bocaburger on Jul 29, 2016 11:03:24 GMT -5
steph I would make an appointment with an endo asap. I agree with joy's explanation of your numbers. If it is a T4 to T3 conversion issue, synthroid might help by making T4 more available but it definitely won't solve the issue. And thyroids can also do wonky things PP so it would be good to have a specialist following it. It's likely related to how crappy you've been feeling lately.
lennonkdc Big hugs! You will figure this all out. I personally have decided not to push myself too much right now because once the babies come, I won't have the freedom to decide I can't adult that day.
joy , I'm glad the OB was able to help put your mind at ease!
I'm starting to freak out, and I might need to be talked off the ledge here soon. I'm freaking out over how I'm going to juggle work/building up my firms business, raising a kid and running a household. DH has been lost in his own little world recently, he does this when he get stressed, he needs to retreat/isolate himself to work out whatever is bugging him, and he's been snippy and knit picky about things (again I know its because he's stressed out too) However, it's been upping my anxiety because I feel like now I'm going to be the default 'do everything-er' and I already suck at adulting. I don't know how much I can/should push myself to get things done these last few weeks, both at home and work. I'm feeling really overwhelmed and all I want to do is go hide in my room.... /vent
Deep breaths! I think you should definitely talk to your DH about how you're feeling. Maybe he doesn't even realize how much his coping mechanisms are stressing you out right now. Also, remember that you don't need to learn how to do all those things together all at once! Learning how to take care of baby will be your only real responsibility for a little while, you'll just have to let everything else fall by the wayside. As you get more comfortable/confident with the baby things, you can bring more back onto your plate. I think most of us FTM's are overwhelmed by a lot of the same thoughts, but in the end, it just somehow works out. I think it's just impossible to imagine HOW that actually happens when we're still on this side of things...
So, a piece of advice that came from a long ago mentor of mine has stuck with me for years. I'll tell it to you and you can maybe figure out how to apply it to your own life?
I was/am afraid of becoming the "de facto" parent. I didn't want to feel like daycare drop off, pick up, bed time, eating, and fetching when sick was always going to fall on me. I, too, work full time and will need days that I can work without interruption or just late to catch up. I also need freedom to be me some days, even if that means getting some Starbucks after work simply because I want to and have a few seconds to do it.
My long ago advisor said that he and his wife would sit down every Sunday and talk about the week ahead. Who had what on what days? Then, they determine who would do drop off, pick up, and be the person available in case a kid got sick on each day of the coming week. They re-evaluated every week because schedules changed so much. But, it ensured less stress each day and that the needs of everyone - not just the child - were covered.
Yes, it requires planning and dedication. Yes, it seems easy to fall off the planning schedule. But, they were religious about making sure to do it each week and he swears it helped them get through some really difficult career-building times without breeding resentment from the other. Open communication was truly key.
joy I don't think I've had them checked! I'll ask about it for sure!! It sounds like just eating some more synthroid isn't really going to fix everything for me.
I'll reach out to an endocrinologist for sure. I'll ask at my appt if this is something I should schedule asap or wait until after baby is born (since my levels went a bit crazy after I had B).
joy I don't think I've had them checked! I'll ask about it for sure!! It sounds like just eating some more synthroid isn't really going to fix everything for me.
I'll reach out to an endocrinologist for sure. I'll ask at my appt if this is something I should schedule asap or wait until after baby is born (since my levels went a bit crazy after I had B).
No. It definitely seems as though you have something else going on here, too.
So, a piece of advice that came from a long ago mentor of mine has stuck with me for years. I'll tell it to you and you can maybe figure out how to apply it to your own life?
I was/am afraid of becoming the "de facto" parent. I didn't want to feel like daycare drop off, pick up, bed time, eating, and fetching when sick was always going to fall on me. I, too, work full time and will need days that I can work without interruption or just late to catch up. I also need freedom to be me some days, even if that means getting some Starbucks after work simply because I want to and have a few seconds to do it.
My long ago advisor said that he and his wife would sit down every Sunday and talk about the week ahead. Who had what on what days? Then, they determine who would do drop off, pick up, and be the person available in case a kid got sick on each day of the coming week. They re-evaluated every week because schedules changed so much. But, it ensured less stress each day and that the needs of everyone - not just the child - were covered.
Yes, it requires planning and dedication. Yes, it seems easy to fall off the planning schedule. But, they were religious about making sure to do it each week and he swears it helped them get through some really difficult career-building times without breeding resentment from the other. Open communication was truly key.
+1 on open communication.
Hang in there lennonkdc - kinks will get worked out. I felt like marriage was so hard in the beginning too, but things fell into place the more we talked and effectively communicated.
Post by bocaburger on Jul 29, 2016 11:30:46 GMT -5
I feel really hormonal and just kind of down today. It feels like I'm just sitting around waiting to have these babies and until they come my days have no purpose.
ETA: an acquaintance who lives in my neighborhood was pregnant and due a couple weeks before me (but not having twins, so we expected to deliver around the same time). I bumped into her on the street like a week ago or less and we commiserate about the heat and the waiting. I found out today she had her baby on Wednesday. So maybe the feelings of being left behind are getting to me.
I'm also worrying that I'm not going to make any progress before my induction. My cervix is still pretty thick and high and barely a fingertip dilated. If nothing changes before my induction I'm worried I won't progress, especially because with twins I need continuous monitoring and can't move around. I really wanted to go into labor spontaneously and it's just not going to happen in the next 10 days. I'm someone who would have loved an unmedicated birth but instead every aspect of my labor and delivery is going to be medicalized.
joy, I'm glad the OB was able to help put your mind at ease!
I'm starting to freak out, and I might need to be talked off the ledge here soon. I'm freaking out over how I'm going to juggle work/building up my firms business, raising a kid and running a household. DH has been lost in his own little world recently, he does this when he get stressed, he needs to retreat/isolate himself to work out whatever is bugging him, and he's been snippy and knit picky about things (again I know its because he's stressed out too) However, it's been upping my anxiety because I feel like now I'm going to be the default 'do everything-er' and I already suck at adulting. I don't know how much I can/should push myself to get things done these last few weeks, both at home and work. I'm feeling really overwhelmed and all I want to do is go hide in my room.... /vent
It's going to suck for a while most likely you will have failures at home and at work and a couple big blow out flights with your DH. And then one day it will start to get easier and you'll start to get your head above water and the laundry pile will get smaller and the work project list will seem less daunting. Honestly I'd do what you have to do at home/work, but make sometime to just chill. It will be the last time you have as just you for a while.
No matter what try and have a few minutes of just you time. Take the shower, read a book, go for a walk, whatever. The kid and the home will survive and other stuff will still be there, but don't let your fuse get too short (I'm terrible at taking my own advice).
Post by redhead610 on Jul 29, 2016 11:36:53 GMT -5
Had my appt this morning. I am all of 1 cm dilated at 38w6d. Boo. I have been having painful contractions on and off for a week and nothing to show for them.
My practice will do elective inductions after 39w. So, I decided to schedule for next Friday at 39w6d. Otherwise I'd have to wait until the following week, and with how much pain I am in I really don't want to go overdue. It's really strange to have an end date and know that I will only be pregnant for at most 1 more week.
I feel really hormonal and just kind of down today. It feels like I'm just sitting around waiting to have these babies and until they come my days have no purpose.
ETA: an acquaintance who lives in my neighborhood was pregnant and due a couple weeks before me (but not having twins, so we expected to deliver around the same time). I bumped into her on the street like a week ago or less and we commiserate about the heat and the waiting. I found out today she had her baby on Wednesday. So maybe the feelings of being left behind are getting to me.
I'm also worrying that I'm not going to make any progress before my induction. My cervix is still pretty thick and high and barely a fingertip dilated. If nothing changes before my induction I'm worried I won't progress, especially because with twins I need continuous monitoring and can't move around. I really wanted to go into labor spontaneously and it's just not going to happen in the next 10 days. I'm someone who would have loved an unmedicated birth but instead every aspect of my labor and delivery is going to be medicalized.
SO many hugs bocaburger - This is basically how I'm feeling too, minus one extra baby. DH called me a little while ago and asked what I wanted to do this weekend, my answer: "Have a baby." His reply "Okay but if you don't...." Me, "Why do you hate me?" On one hand I'm super happy to be done working after today, but on the other... how the hell am I just going to sit around and WAIT all next week?
I feel really hormonal and just kind of down today. It feels like I'm just sitting around waiting to have these babies and until they come my days have no purpose.
Yes. Yes to all of this.
Last night my husband texted me at 7:30pm and said he was grabbing a beer with his partners after a particular shitty meeting. I was lying on the couch, as is my usual evening ritual these days.
When he wasn't home by 10pm, I started crying. I texted him and said I felt so left behind. I was lonely, really lonely, and I know that I'm not the most fun to be around (because lying on the couch isn't all that fun night after night), but it was all I could do. I also want to go out for beers and have fun but I can't. I feel like I'm in this perpetual suspended animation where I'm just waiting to move on.
He texted back a million apologies, left his coworkers, came home, showered me with kisses, and sat on the couch with me talking until midnight. It helped. But, I still feel ...unsettled and lonely and unfun.
Thanks Ladies. I feel like I can walk back from the edge now. Things are going to be rough, but DH and I have been a team for 13 yrs and I know that, ultimately, we got this. It's going to be rocky and some parts are just going to suck. I'm going to embrace the suck lol.
In other news- I got my breast pump yesterday! I ended up going with the Spectra S2, and I'm irrationally excited to use it (is that weird....)
Post by hummingbird125 on Jul 29, 2016 12:25:01 GMT -5
bocaburger, joy, - Live tits for commiseration! Last night after venting to my mom, she suggested reading some baby books or whatever, and I lost it. I was like "No! I am done with the "preparation" part of this, I want to move on!" I wallowed for hours yesterday and although it isn't fun... I can't really think of what else to do! Going out seems like a waste when I can't dirnk and I can't even eat the thing I want to eat, plus I only have two appropriate outfits to wear out of the house and I'm sick of both of them. My sweet mama is planning on coming up for the day on Sunday and said we can go walk around the mall and she'll buy me a present - I'm sort of hoping that making any plans at all will mean they get interrupted by labor.
I am still spotting from my cervical check the other day. Trying to not get my hopes up that there is any real action. My OB gave me the option of coming in next week or in 2 weeks and I chose 2 weeks. Now I'm regretting that decision. Even if it's only checking BP and dilation- I NEED to know!
So tired. So very tired. And I wish I could go swimming. Idk how long I'm supposed to wait but I am also not feeling a swimsuit. Has anyone used care . com? I need to find a babysitter and I don't know anyone to ask recommendations from
So tired. So very tired. And I wish I could go swimming. Idk how long I'm supposed to wait but I am also not feeling a swimsuit. Has anyone used care . com? I need to find a babysitter and I don't know anyone to ask recommendations from
care.com is not great in my area, but elsewhere in the country it is!
Post by hannahbear on Jul 29, 2016 12:54:08 GMT -5
I've been kind of freaking out about birth, you guys. Like - I'm already so uncomfortable and in pain (my pelvis pain is serious right now) - I've been telling myself "well, once you give birth it will get better." But that's not right either. It's going to get way worse before I feel better (I mean, everyone talks about tears or just general swelling and all the padsicles and tucks - or recovery from a csec) and that makes me feel so overwhelmed
So tired. So very tired. And I wish I could go swimming. Idk how long I'm supposed to wait but I am also not feeling a swimsuit. Has anyone used care . com? I need to find a babysitter and I don't know anyone to ask recommendations from
I've never used it from that end, but when I was unemployed I posted as a job-seeker on there, and I was very well qualified :-)
Post by gratefulgirl on Jul 29, 2016 12:57:34 GMT -5
lennonkdc - it's a balance and you will find your way. I am the 'default parent' due to part-time SAHMing (fair enough, I think), but DH stepped up in so many ways. He does more around the house and errands now. Sometimes I wish I could get a default parent break, but it helps to remember all DH does do.
I also was warned by a friend that keeping strict score doesn't help and have found that to be true. Yes, communicate when you feel like you are doing too much. But falling into "I changed the last diaper, you change this one!" can be disaster too. That's true for either parent.
I'm a huge planner and not having an official end date or delivery decision is driving me effin crazy!! Thank god Tuesday is soon and I can see if a baby is head down regardless they will be booking me a section or induction that day lol I'm not leaving if they don't.
I had a huge breakdown last night I'm so miserable and in pain, and heart burn and gas and i can't breathe when I lay down my poor husband lol after sitting up for a few hours I recruited him to sleep with DD and I slept sitting upright on the couch. Well after a bout of hysterical tears it doesn't help that people ask every day when the babies are coming I have no effing idea!!!
So tired. So very tired. And I wish I could go swimming. Idk how long I'm supposed to wait but I am also not feeling a swimsuit. Has anyone used care . com? I need to find a babysitter and I don't know anyone to ask recommendations from
I don't know where you are, but we've had better luck with urbansitter.com. It's more like opentable.com for sitters. You can put in date, time, number of kids, if you have pets and it will tell you who is available and what they charge. People leave reviews and you can see the number of repeat clients, their average response time etc. We've used it several times with really good luck. There is a fee for the service I think it's 15 bucks per month? But you can cancel easily. I had terrible luck with Care.
I've been kind of freaking out about birth, you guys. Like - I'm already so uncomfortable and in pain (my pelvis pain is serious right now) - I've been telling myself "well, once you give birth it will get better." But that's not right either. It's going to get way worse before I feel better (I mean, everyone talks about tears or just general swelling and all the padsicles and tucks - or recovery from a csec) and that makes me feel so overwhelmed
Deep breaths. Most people I know feel like it gets better every 2 weeks or so - both physical recovery and the transition from crazy newbornness to more predictable older infant. Plan on setting small goals and celebrating small victories and being very gentle with yourself and your immediate family. You will do this. You will even love at least one thing if not most (I hate the newborn phase, so I feel qualified to promise loving at least parts).
Post by hannahbear on Jul 29, 2016 13:03:23 GMT -5
Yeah, gratefulgirl at least I'll have an outside baby to love on... And I have to keep reminding myself that I set up a support net and people will be here to help. I'm just really looking forward to not feeling so terrible all the time, and it seems like it's going to be a while more before I actually get relief
Post by gratefulgirl on Jul 29, 2016 13:03:27 GMT -5
Took DD1 to a kids' ballet performance today. That was fun and actually not blazing hot!
DH is being really great and grocery shopping. Bless him. However he gets really snippy when I complain about being uncomfortable. He is convinced his bad foot pain is here to stay and therefore I can't complain about temporary pain because he feels worse then. I get it done, but blargh! I would like a sympathetic ear sometimes!
Post by hummingbird125 on Jul 29, 2016 13:41:49 GMT -5
hannahbear - I'm freaked out by this too BUT I try to remind myself of three things:
1) At least in the "after" stage we'll have cute babies to snuggle with
2) PP recovery is NOT awful for everyone! My coworker just had her baby about 4 weeks ago and I saw her when she was 3 weeks PP and she said she was actually feeling good! She said she already felt totally normal down there and that the bleeding was more of an annoyance than anything more. Also, she did have two stitches, and still felt fine after only 3 weeks.
3) Even if PP recovery is bad, remember that we get to trade off some of the bad things we're dealing with now - it's not just like we're adding new awful things on top of being 9 months pregnant - we will no longer be 9 months pregnant! No more solid bowling-ball stomach, forced side-sleeping, or peeing every 5 minutes. And I know that a bunch of other little things will improve/go away in the first few days/weeks as well.
Huuuuuge hugs to everyone today. Sounds like many of us are feeling the same way... just ready to be done and move on! Stasis sucks.
OMG I am so embarrassed. I am at my doc appt and went to the bathroom... when I came out, my nurse said I was in room 2... she was wrong! This is the second appointment in 3 that I have walked into another patient's room! This one totally was not my fault, but OMG.
SO got kid duty this morning. I kinda like these days when I can tell him, feed her breakfast, get her dressed, see ya after my appointments! Its like my quiet alone time. LOL I do feel a little bad, because he stays up so late, but one morning sometimes wont kill him.
The good news is that DH appears to have snapped out of his funk, he's offered to help me with some stuff and is an upbeat mood (yay!) We talked for a min on his lunch break and I feel less stressed out.
The bad news is that I seem to have lost my date book, and feel like my security blanket is gone, and we got an air bag recall notice on my car. Apparently in the event of a crash the passenger side air bag may explode metal shards through out the cabin causing serious injury or death. Subaru is working to get the parts to fix this, but until such time no one should sit in the passenger seat. This is obviously exactly what I needed today....
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