FINALLY Friday
Jul 29, 2016 19:50:42 GMT -5
Post by frodabaggins on Jul 29, 2016 19:50:42 GMT -5
::huuugs:: lennonkdc . I hear you.
So, a piece of advice that came from a long ago mentor of mine has stuck with me for years. I'll tell it to you and you can maybe figure out how to apply it to your own life?
I was/am afraid of becoming the "de facto" parent. I didn't want to feel like daycare drop off, pick up, bed time, eating, and fetching when sick was always going to fall on me. I, too, work full time and will need days that I can work without interruption or just late to catch up. I also need freedom to be me some days, even if that means getting some Starbucks after work simply because I want to and have a few seconds to do it.
My long ago advisor said that he and his wife would sit down every Sunday and talk about the week ahead. Who had what on what days? Then, they determine who would do drop off, pick up, and be the person available in case a kid got sick on each day of the coming week. They re-evaluated every week because schedules changed so much. But, it ensured less stress each day and that the needs of everyone - not just the child - were covered.
Yes, it requires planning and dedication. Yes, it seems easy to fall off the planning schedule. But, they were religious about making sure to do it each week and he swears it helped them get through some really difficult career-building times without breeding resentment from the other. Open communication was truly key.
Making me realize that in a lot of ways I kind of *am* the de facto parent...although my husband has been stepping in a lot more in anticipation of #2 being here and my time being really tied up. We do things pretty much the same way every week. I do the morning routine - feeding, changing, getting dressed, getting lunch bag packed, dropping him off at daycare. That's because my husband's job has him out of the house super early every morning. He does the afternoon routine - pick him up at daycare, take him to whatever afternoon activities he has like swim lessons, etc. Then when I get home I do his dinner and bedtime routine. It kind of worked out that way because I was so desperately sad to not be with him all day that as soon as I got home, I threw myself into my motherly duties with great relief, gusto and joy to be around him again, you know? But it has lead to a few bad habits on my DH's part.
And I am always, ALWAYS the one to deal with him getting sick. Again, because of the nature of my husband's job. I work a steady office job ten minutes away from the daycare - his job sites vary week to week and are usually really far away, and often don't have great cell reception. But we're gonna need to be more flexible on that with 2, for sure. I love the idea of evaluating weekly.