Post by NellieOleson on Aug 17, 2016 22:52:24 GMT -5
We have not done any real sleep training, but I think we are going to have start soon. Sleep is getting out of control over here and it's starting to make me anxious and resentful. My H and I talked about starting it this weekend since he may have three days off. I was kind of waffling about it, but after tonight I think I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.
Basically homegirl goes down for bed super easily with nursing. But lo and behold, 20 to 30 minutes later is awake and crying. I can usually get her down again fairly easy, but then she is awake and crying within the hour after that. Rinse and repeat. I end up bringing her into bed with me - which used to start at 4am, but is now sometimes starting when I go to bed at 10. Once she is cuddled up with mom she goes right to sleep no problem.
All of this is nothing new for me, since it's exactly like dd1 was, but now I have a toddler to take care of as well. Since my H is often not home from work until after the girls' bedtime, I can't spend so much time getting a baby back to sleep over and over again. Tonight dd1 basically spent the hour between 7 and 8 entertaining herself because I was dealing with a baby who wouldn't stay asleep.
It's really hard for me to stomach CIO, but I don't really see any other way forward at this point.
Post by sjames2015 on Aug 17, 2016 23:01:59 GMT -5
Right there with you NellieOleson. DD1, if needed, is allowed to watch a movie on the tablet while I put DD2 to bed. DD2 has been all over the place with sleep. She used to sleep 6-8 hours the wake to eat then 2-4 more hours after that. And that has slowly changed to her refusing any bed but mine and must have my face there to touch all night long. It's gotten so bad that it feels as if she does t sleep at all because she's rubbing my face. Last week she woke up after I put her in my bed and sat up then tried to crawl. That was the end of that. She goes into her crib right away at night and CIO. She usually wakes up multiple times but goes back to sleep. Then she wakes up between 1030-11 when I go to bed. Then I put her in bed with me. But if she goes all crazy with rubbing my face all night I'll put her in the crib again and let her CIO more. I don't let her cry for very long. I'm a sucker.
So DD typically falls asleep in my arms on the bottle around 9pm. Then we put her into her crib. She has started waking up pretty much every time we set her down in the crib. At the moment, we'll do a variation of things: give her a bit more from the bottle, pick her up for a quick snuggle, and eventually she will settle down and fall asleep in the crib. She usually sleeps until at least 4 am.
We need a routine though. We cannot be spending an hour every night putting her to bed. After my MIL leaves on Sunday, I am going to talk to DH about starting a stricter bedtime routine.
We did break her pattern of multiple wake-ups for small feeding throughout the night by referring to the Ferber book. Dr. Ferber recommends breaking this type of pattern by 1) making sure she eats enough before bedtime and 2) not offering the bottle immediately at night. It actually only took 2-3 nights to break this habit. We got her to eat more by removing distractions during the evening while she's eating, i.e. taking her out of the room where her big brother is - he is incredibly distracting and would interrupt her eating quite a bit.
Post by silverspoon on Aug 18, 2016 8:44:58 GMT -5
So I guess we are doing pretty good sleep wise.
The only problem being he is still in his rock n play in our room. It's just too convenient to be able to reach over and give him his pacifier or pat his tummy to settle him back down. We've decided to attempt the crib a few times, but when it comes time to actually put him in it we just end up right back in the rock n play.
He typically goes to bed around 6:30. He's just not a happy camper after 6:30. Around 5:30 he has dinner, then a bath, books, bottle and down in his rock n play he goes. That one is in his room with the blinds shut and white noise at full blast. This lasts until 9:30 when we do a nighttime diaper, bottle, then down in the rock n play in our room.
He has wake ups throughout the night, but they are quick and he's easily settled.
We have to get him in his crib. I know we do. He's getting way too long for the rock n play, but we've had almost 2 weeks of good nights and I don't want to go back to the crappy nights we were having.
We sleep trained DS right around 6mo. He goes to bed at 8, sometimes wakes up to eat around 5 then up for the day around 7.
We had trouble with him wanting to be held to sleep and I have little patience when I'm sleep deprived (after the newborn stage). He didn't want to eat, just snuggle. So after about a week of going in to soothe him multiple times per night I just decided to do it. It only took two nights and now we are good!
Just rip the bandaid off NellieOleson. There's never going to be a great time to deal with it. And you probably aren't sleeping great with an infant in your bed anyway. I would sacrifice a few terrible nights of sleep for many many nights of good sleep.
Post by silverspoon on Aug 18, 2016 11:40:43 GMT -5
Can I ask when is everyone doing the last feeding?
I hate waking him at 9:30 (he does wake up on his own a few nights a week, but if he doesn't I wake him) to eat, but if I don't I worry he'll wake at midnight. It's kind of like the rock n play situation, I'm so afraid to change it. He always goes right back down afterwards so the whole thing takes less than 15 minutes.
I also need him to eat those 5oz because he's kind of a little dude, but I suppose I could increase his other bottles by an ounce. I think I'm making this too complicated.
M gets a diaper change and bottle between 7-9, depending on when she wakes up from her last nap. We let her CIO for awhile, but if it seems like she's not calming down we bring her back down for another bottle, and then she usually goes down fine. She usually wakes up twice for a bottle overnight, around midnight/1 and again at 3-5, and back down until 8 or so.
I think we're going to be bumping her up to more oz for her bedtime/overnight bottles soon, because the last few nights she's needed 2 bottles to go to sleep.
We have not done any real sleep training, but I think we are going to have start soon. Sleep is getting out of control over here and it's starting to make me anxious and resentful. My H and I talked about starting it this weekend since he may have three days off. I was kind of waffling about it, but after tonight I think I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it.
Basically homegirl goes down for bed super easily with nursing. But lo and behold, 20 to 30 minutes later is awake and crying. I can usually get her down again fairly easy, but then she is awake and crying within the hour after that. Rinse and repeat. I end up bringing her into bed with me - which used to start at 4am, but is now sometimes starting when I go to bed at 10. Once she is cuddled up with mom she goes right to sleep no problem.
All of this is nothing new for me, since it's exactly like dd1 was, but now I have a toddler to take care of as well. Since my H is often not home from work until after the girls' bedtime, I can't spend so much time getting a baby back to sleep over and over again. Tonight dd1 basically spent the hour between 7 and 8 entertaining herself because I was dealing with a baby who wouldn't stay asleep.
It's really hard for me to stomach CIO, but I don't really see any other way forward at this point.
This is literally my life too. All of it. I have let her cry upon waking for up to 5 minutes but it doesn't work. If I pick her up and rock/pat her she falls right back to sleep. I put her in her crib and then if she wakes up after I've gone to bed then she is in with me. Every night. I did stop nursing to sleep and only rock/pat her for all wakeups until after 11. Then I'll nurse her if she wants it and usually does.
I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can stomach CIO either. My H is also not on board with CIO so there is that.
Post by crimsonandclover on Aug 18, 2016 19:42:44 GMT -5
We've been waiting for this trip to the US because we knew it would totally mess with her sleep anyway. We fly back on Sat/Sun, and after we all get adjusted to the time again, we will start sleep training. It helps that she just hit that all-important milestone of being able to hold her own bottle. That makes it possible to just go in, hand her a bottle, and walk out. I think we'll start by having her alone in her room (so far DH or I has slept on a mattress next to her crip for easy feeding) and we'll go in every 3 hours max. Then we'll increase it to 3.5 etc. Right now she's still up every 2 hours or so. Somtimes she'll have a longer stretch (by that I mean 4 hours).
Post by pinktartan9 on Aug 18, 2016 20:12:49 GMT -5
So the past week has been interesting in our house with sleep training.. Figured it was a good time to sleep train since DD's clock was all messed up with coming home from HI. Our routine was 7:30pm have oats or brown rice (get her nice and full before bed) bath, massage, nurse for maybe 10-15 mins and bed (in crib with white noise) This past week she would immediately wake up and flip on all fours then sit up and scream. Sadly, we did CIO and let her go for 30 mins the first night before my H would go in. My H would go in instead of me because of she sees me she goes bananas if I don't pick her up. My H would rub her back or her tummy. We found after two nights this was just a tease though and upset her more. So, the past 4 nights we did CIO and did not go in at all. Each night we saw an improvement. She cried for 45 mins one night. 30 mins the next, 20 mins the next and then last night was only 7 mins. Tonight she went down no issues. My H even went in to change the diaper genie and she peeked through her crib bars and went back to sleep.
Also to note, I moved up her bed time. Before, bed time routine started at 7:30. Now it starts at 6:30. We were thinking she may have been loosing it because she was over tired. I REALLY had a hard time with CIO. My H kept trying to have conversations with me during her melt downs and I just couldn't talk. It's sad because the last thing I would ever ever want is my baby to be in distress or think I am not there for her but sadly, it seemed to do the trick.
I also started a dream feed (never did this before) around 10 or 11 pm. She will eat and go down easy after this and will normally sleep til about 7.
Please note: today was my first day back at the gym then came home, made dinner and did some serious cleaning - I'm zonked so apologies of this post is kind of all over the place.
We've been waiting for this trip to the US because we knew it would totally mess with her sleep anyway. We fly back on Sat/Sun, and after we all get adjusted to the time again, we will start sleep training. It helps that she just hit that all-important milestone of being able to hold her own bottle. That makes it possible to just go in, hand her a bottle, and walk out. I think we'll start by having her alone in her room (so far DH or I has slept on a mattress next to her crip for easy feeding) and we'll go in every 3 hours max. Then we'll increase it to 3.5 etc. Right now she's still up every 2 hours or so. Somtimes she'll have a longer stretch (by that I mean 4 hours).
M *could* hold her own bottle. She won't though. You can hand it to her, but she just plays with it. It's a little frustrating, but mostly when we're running errands and trying to feed her and walk at the same time. I was always told not to give them bottles in bed, so I would be getting up with her at night anyway
L was doing pretty well sleeping until the teeth so I was kind of ignoring this subject. She used to got to sleep around 7:30 or 8 and get up for a snack around 1&5 or 11&4. She would go to sleep being rocked by/sitting on couch dad with or without bottle, or on the boob depending on how much dinner she ate. The teething broke all of this. She was up constantly, and would only sleep with me holding her etc. I feel like she needed me so am ok with it, but if sleep doesn't go back to the way it was... I will say last night I got 6straight hours out of her in the hotel. I feel like that's partly because we bed share when traveling. So my hopes aren't super high. I don't know if I can do CIO. What I am going to do is firm up our bedtime routine as much as possible and try to get her in the crib sleepy but awake for all naps and at night.
Post by silverspoon on Aug 19, 2016 11:30:27 GMT -5
I must have jinxed myself. Because last night did not go well.
I am blaming the full moon for the reason munchkin was WIDE AWAKE at 10:30pm lying in the middle of my bed blabbering on and on and ON AND ON. He had a lot to say for a good half an hour before finally I told H it was his turn. He repeated the whole bedtime routine and the little dude finally went out.
When I tried putting him down he was so restless and I picked him and and it was just ON after that. He was awake and happy and he had a lot to say.
silverspoon - the full moon was GORGEOUS last night - but I guess it was too exciting for your LO! I really hope it was a fluke! DD has randomly woken up in the MOTN the past two nights - I also hope it's a fluke!
silverspoon, I feel you. M was up and ready to party at 5:30 this morning. I let her hang out in bed with H and I until he left for work, and then managed to get her to eat some more and go back to bed. And then she slept until after 9.
Post by silverspoon on Aug 19, 2016 12:08:53 GMT -5
I would give a lot for this kid to sleep past 6:00am. A lot. Because he just doesn't. This week he has been up around 5:15am EVERYDAY. Some days I could actually sleep in until 6, but he's laying there babbling away.
Post by crimsonandclover on Aug 19, 2016 12:49:47 GMT -5
silverspoon, same with DD3. 6am is sleeping in and happens once every other week or so. Otherwise she's up between 5:15-5:45. I don't know how to fix that.
If a fruit fly lands in my glass tonight like it did last night I may cry.
Oh, is that supposed to be a problem? I just get a spoon, scoop it out, and keep drinking... I mean, they land on my food sometimes and I don't toss it.
If a fruit fly lands in my glass tonight like it did last night I may cry.
Oh, is that supposed to be a problem? I just get a spoon, scoop it out, and keep drinking... I mean, they land on my food sometimes and I don't toss it.
Oh, is that supposed to be a problem? I just get a spoon, scoop it out, and keep drinking... I mean, they land on my food sometimes and I don't toss it.
Agreed. There's alcohol, this is not a problem.
I didn't see him land so I didn't know how long he had been in there and I was basically having a pity party last night anyway so all was lost once I spotted the fly.
Fruit flies emit a weird smell when they attempt to drown their sorrows in my wine. I usually just flick them out and try not to smell the rest of my wine. The smell is distinct and funky though.
Every time I think I'm going to cave and at least try CIO, DD sticks that little bottom lip out of hers when she cries and I can't stand how sad she is. She is only this little for so long. I'm a glutton for punishment.
Post by tinydancer on Aug 20, 2016 21:46:00 GMT -5
I think I got fairly lucky in this department. We nurse to sleep usually around 8-8:30, then he's typically up around 2:30 to eat for about 10-15 minutes, then up for the day between 6-6:30. On two occasions he's slept straight through from about 8:30-6 without waking up.
***KNOCKS ON WOOD***
We have done a little bit of sleep training - if he wakes up before about 12:30 I will let him fuss himself back to sleep. For the first couple nights he would cry for about 15-20 minutes, but now if he wakes it's really just a couple minutes of fussing. After he eats overnight, he has to sleep through until about 5 - if he wakes up before then I will let him cry. This has only happened twice too, and the crying only lasted for less than 10 minutes. It's a little awkward because he still sleeps in my room, so on those occasions I patted him, then went and slept in the guest room. If he wakes up early (between 5 and 6), I usually pull him into bed to nurse with me and we usually doze for another hour or so.
I would prefer not to CIO, but my patting or cuddling him does not help, it seems to make it worse. Of course, if something is wrong, like his foot is caught outside of the crib or he's sick, I won't let him cry, I'll just nurse him to sleep.
I ask because I have basically decided sleep training has to happen. Our circumstances were different with DS and we had more flexibility/free time. H has DD on the days he doesn't have class and she needs to nap somewhere other than his arms. My mom and sister watch her when H has class. Same goes for them. I know if she is sleeping better/through the night she should also nap better. So tell me all your secrets. I don't want to do this but I don't see another way at this point. 😰
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