I am feeling so down. I thought I was in a groove and handling everything so well. I'm just so tired and I feel like I am killing myself trying to breastfeed. One feeding blurs into the next, between the nursing, supplementing, and pumping. The ped asked about my long term feeding goals and suggested that if I were able to power through and get to exclusive breastfeeding it *could* happen by the end of my maternity leave. So why am I even pushing this hard? What am I even doing?
Big hugs girl. This is HARD. I've been so impressed with everything you've been doing to feed him and I'm honestly not sure I would have the dedication to do that. Regardless of what happens you should be proud of yourself.
I am feeling so down. I thought I was in a groove and handling everything so well. I'm just so tired and I feel like I am killing myself trying to breastfeed. One feeding blurs into the next, between the nursing, supplementing, and pumping. The ped asked about my long term feeding goals and suggested that if I were able to power through and get to exclusive breastfeeding it *could* happen by the end of my maternity leave. So why am I even pushing this hard? What am I even doing?
Huge hugs. Do what's best for baby and YOU. please make sure you're taking care of yourself through all this.
DS has been so sweet wanting to kiss the baby all this evening. If only we could fix his new problem with taking off his shorts and running away. At least we confirmed with daycare that he isn't doing that there...
hannahbear hugs. First determine what your goal is, not anyone else's goal. With my first I was in what felt like a never ending cycle of nursing, supplementing, and pumping. I cried daily about it. Finally determined my goal was a fed baby and a happy mommy. I went to FF. DD is a happy, healthy kid. She's been no more sick than a non FF kid.
Hugs, hannahbear. As the others said, take care of yourself too.
Both the big girls had their first ballet classes tonight. They had so much fun, but the night was pure chaos. Poor DD3 was so overstimulated because it was so hectic, I felt terrible. Then DD1 & 3 screamed the whole way home. I am completely exhausted from it, and dreading taking all 3 to the pediatrician tomorrow morning.
I'm also trying to balance DH's recovery from surgery with everything I have to do. I feel bad because I know he is in pain, but I am so, so exhausted from doing 100% of care for 3 small kids. Part of me wants him to rest to heal quickly, and the other part wants me to tell him to suck it up and help me. I feel like I'm drowning.
Post by hannahbear on Aug 30, 2016 20:00:01 GMT -5
Thank you all. I feel so supported by you. I think lack of sleep has gotten the best of me (and maybe some ppd?) and I just feel so run down and overwhelmed.
meagpt22 I think you're right - I have no idea what my goal is. It WAS to do anything I needed to BF. It turns out that I am doing anything and everything, and it's just really hard. I hope there's some middle ground - I want that bonding experience, but I don't want to spend every waking minute feeding, supplementing, or pumping.
coffeequeen14 you made me laugh - not sure I need more cookies. I feel like I've been ECEing (that's exclusive cookie eating) since I made them this weekend. Perhaps contributing to my mood - seems like I need to eat some real food.
I'm also trying to balance DH's recovery from surgery with everything I have to do. I feel bad because I know he is in pain, but I am so, so exhausted from doing 100% of care for 3 small kids. Part of me wants him to rest to heal quickly, and the other part wants me to tell him to suck it up and help me. I feel like I'm drowning.
I can't imagine taking care of 3 kids including a newborn on your own. Are there any friends/family around who could help out? Could you hire a babysitter or mother's helper just for a couple weeks?
Post by redhead610 on Aug 30, 2016 20:25:01 GMT -5
hannahbear, it's so hard in the beginning. It sounds like you're doing everything you can for your little one. We chose to ff this one, and I feel so much more bonded with him at this point than with ds1. The stress of bfing was too much for me. With bottle feeding, I still get all the snuggles and eye gazing. Whatever you chose is fine - whatever works for your family will be best. Happy and healthy mom and baby are what matters.
Post by redhead610 on Aug 30, 2016 20:30:09 GMT -5
Ds2 has been super cranky lately. I think I haven't been feeding him enough and now I feel terrible. I couldn't figure out why he was crying so much and finally tried feeding him and he was content, but then upset an hour and a half-2 hrs later. I increased the amount in all his bottles today and he was in such a better mood. The last few nights of sleep have been rough so maybe this will help a little bit.
I'm also trying to balance DH's recovery from surgery with everything I have to do. I feel bad because I know he is in pain, but I am so, so exhausted from doing 100% of care for 3 small kids. Part of me wants him to rest to heal quickly, and the other part wants me to tell him to suck it up and help me. I feel like I'm drowning.
I can't imagine taking care of 3 kids including a newborn on your own. Are there any friends/family around who could help out? Could you hire a babysitter or mother's helper just for a couple weeks?
The girls and I go over to my moms house to have a break when we can. It's just the meals, laundry, baths, bedtime, overnights, etc that is so hard. He is one week out today from surgery so I'm really hoping he feels better soon.
Post by dorkusmalorkus on Aug 30, 2016 21:23:45 GMT -5
hannahbear Big hugs! That is a LOT to take on!! I agree with PPs that you really need to find your own definition of success, which can look a lot of different ways, and can change as your needs change. I've been there/am there, and so know how hard it can be to strike a balance between nursing, supplementing & pumping. Take good care of yourself
Omg. DD has been screaming to eat every 1.5-2 hrs since last night and staying awake in between so I haven't slept and I'm a crying mess. H told me to go to bed and he'd take care of her. While this is going on, DD is screaming again so I tell H to feed her. He says she can't be hungry because she ate an hour ago.
I'min bed listening to DD scream for the past hour in between H giving her a paci over and over. I texted him "she sounds hungry" and he finally listened and it's quiet.
Dear H: This kid does not care what time she last ate. If she's screaming you have to feed her!!
I had forgotten how tiny newborns are... even big newborns. She has been so sleepy today, I have just held her and smelled her sweet new baby smell. I am so tired but I know the nurse will be back in soon to tell me to try to feed her again. Plus the breastfeeding-augmented contractions damn well suck, ugh.
I am hoping a nice warm swaddling after we tickle a good snack into her will let both me and SO sleep for a while. I told him to go ahead now, he is wrecked. Plus he falls asleep instantly if he wants, hah.
quirks A lot of times I've noticed that babies will have a couple hungry and no sleeping days in a row followed by a couple very sleepy days. I call those the growing days! Maybe you'll be getting extra rest soon!
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