How do you know when it's time to move the babies from the cribs to the bassinets? I am trying to put it off as long as possible for space reasons but they are starting to move around more in their sleep and I want to make sure they are safe.
Basically whenever you feel they're or you're ready. You can try them in the crib now either at night or start off during the day. I moved DD at 5 weeks, DS still won't nighttime sleep in his crib at 8 weeks.
I do the same. Usually he'll get up between 6:30 and 7:30 and I'll have him nurse laying next to me and he goes back to sleep for a bit
I'm guess it's because it's my first kid, but I'm so nervous to do this. I don't like when my husband put her on his chest and then closes his eyes.
Tell me how to do it without killing her?
I only do it on the couch, because of DH and the covers in our bed. I position myself on my side with my back to the couch cushions. LO's head is on my lower arm, which I wrap around her back. She sleeps or nurses in the crook of my arm like that.
The babies currently sleep in a PNP with double bassinets. We don't have the cribs yet and I'd like to wait as long as possible before setting them up because we live in a small 1br apartment. However, the babies are starting to move around a lot more in their sleep and I am worried about creating an unsafe situation. So what are the guidelines for when we have to move them out of their bassinets?
I do the same. Usually he'll get up between 6:30 and 7:30 and I'll have him nurse laying next to me and he goes back to sleep for a bit
I'm guess it's because it's my first kid, but I'm so nervous to do this. I don't like when my husband put her on his chest and then closes his eyes.
Tell me how to do it without killing her?
In the morning I usually just nestle him in the crook of my arm and lie on my side, but I can see how that could make people nervous. When we nap together I prop myself up a bit and lay him on my chest, then I put a small throw pillow underneath each of my arms. I rest my elbows on the pillows and my hands on his back or butt. This keeps my arms propped up so that if I fall asleep he can't roll off me. I also scoot to the middle of the bed so he's not near the edge.
Post by coffeequeen14 on Oct 23, 2016 11:18:34 GMT -5
Coffee for all the sleepy moms out there!!!
I just realized I never hit post in my reply to you yesterday bocaburger but I hope you're having a better day today. It's tough for singleton moms; I can imagine twins is exponentially harder. Keep up your fantastic work and asking for help when you need it. In response to bassinets, we keep ours in the bassinet as long as possible. Does the company that made your bassinet have a guideline on their site? I imagine it's a weight limit or the ability to roll over.
Post by hollyberry on Oct 23, 2016 12:35:15 GMT -5
bocaburger, would they fit in the PNP together without the bassinets? We are using one crib atm, soon we will use both as they now sleep at a angle and are growing out of room. But maybe Be you would feel better without the bassinets, if its a safty issue you are feeling.
Technically I think once the babies are moving and rolling you aren't supposed to use them since they are more apt to roll into the side and then cant breath. But I don't use a bassinet so I am just saying this on my own thoughts without knowing officially what the rules are.
Me: 36, DH 32 Bfp#1 June 2014 edd: Feb. 22, 2015,mmc: Aug. 5,2014,D&C Bfp#2 Feb. 2015 edd: Oct.12, 2015, mmc: Mar. 7,2015, D&C
DX: Me: slightly hypothyroid, taking meds DH: SA Showed all low levels, urologist appointment showed all was normal, so no reason why the levels were bad.
Plan: IUI #1 Aug. 25mg clomed, to help boost egg quality - BFN IUI #2 Sept. 25mg clomed, BFN IUI#3 Dec. BFP!! TWINS Edd: Aug. 22, 2016
bocaburger , my pediatrician recommends that babies be transitioned to their cribs around 3-4 months. I will move her from the Rock n Play in our room to her crib once she can roll.
EDIT: Let me explain - the pediatrician wants newborns in their parents room until 3-4 months. If the crib is in there, the pediatrician has no problem putting the kid in there from birth. Since my kid's crib is in her own room, I won't move her to until 3-4 months. This happens to be the time that she'll can't be swaddled any longer and will be too big/unsafe for the Rock N Play.
Today my DD is 2! We survived 2 months of 2u2! I can't believe she's becoming a little girl. Right now I'm feeding DS since he wouldn't take a bottle. This is a problem if it continues as I return to work in 2 weeks. Guess we'll have to keep practicing/try another type. He has taken one before but I have been consistent it trying to give him one.
Post by bocaburger on Oct 23, 2016 15:27:36 GMT -5
Ugh I'm really shaken up. We went out to brunch for FIL's bday. They each nursed once while we were there. G fought the cover and I don't nurse without a cover around H's family so I nursed her standing in the bathroom. At the end I thought I could wait until getting home to feed them, which would avoid making everyone wait while I nursed again and would avoid the bathroom nursing. Then MIL insisted on going for a walk. They were sleeping in the carriers at the time so I said ok to a short walk. Then she really wanted to go on a longer walk, and I put my foot down, which upset H because he has a hard time not doing whatever his mom wants.
They usually sleep in the car, but they were so hungry they screamed for the entire ride back (half an hour) while I sat between them trying to comfort them and trying not to cry myself. By the time we got back they had gone almost 4 hours without eating. I felt (feel) like such a shitty mom.
I'm so tired of being the one responsible for always thinking about when they need to eat, what needs to happen before they get in the car, etc. I've never been good at that sort of thing and I'm trying hard but I feel like shit when I screw up. H is so concerned about pleasing his family, making sure people get to see and hold the babies, etc that he's not prioritizing what's best for the babies. All the stimulation, schedule changes, etc this weekend have been really hard on them (and me) and he just doesn't get it.
Ugh I'm really shaken up. We went out to brunch for FIL's bday. They each nursed once while we were there. G fought the cover and I don't nurse without a cover around H's family so I nursed her standing in the bathroom. At the end I thought I could wait until getting home to feed them, which would avoid making everyone wait while I nursed again and would avoid the bathroom nursing. Then MIL insisted on going for a walk. They were sleeping in the carriers at the time so I said ok to a short walk. Then she really wanted to go on a longer walk, and I put my foot down, which upset H because he has a hard time not doing whatever his mom wants.
They usually sleep in the car, but they were so hungry they screamed for the entire ride back (half an hour) while I sat between them trying to comfort them and trying not to cry myself. By the time we got back they had gone almost 4 hours without eating. I felt (feel) like such a shitty mom.
I'm so tired of being the one responsible for always thinking about when they need to eat, what needs to happen before they get in the car, etc. I've never been good at that sort of thing and I'm trying hard but I feel like shit when I screw up. H is so concerned about pleasing his family, making sure people get to see and hold the babies, etc that he's not prioritizing what's best for the babies. All the stimulation, schedule changes, etc this weekend have been really hard on them (and me) and he just doesn't get it.
Wow.
First of all, you made it out of the house. We have hardly managed this.
Second of all you went to a restaurant. A public place. That's very brave, I haven't even done that yet & my LO is 3 months. I couldn't imagine trying to nurse in a public place, we hardly manage to get it done right in a private setting.
Third of all you did this with twins.
You are seriously super women. I'm sorry you had to nurse in a bathroom. And that his family is clueless about the 3 hour feeds & how important it is to stay on that schedule. How did H feel about them crying hungry the whole way home?
Post by bocaburger on Oct 23, 2016 15:55:44 GMT -5
Thanks katelm. That made me feel a little better about myself.
I honestly don't even know H's thoughts. When we got home I immediately went upstairs and fed them, then I went to the bathroom, and now I'm feeding again. I haven't talked to him.
Having a rough couple days. I just feel like I'm on 24/7 and can't get a break. We are visiting my ILs and usually that means they help a lot with the babies, but so far I get handed a baby any time they cry. I got frustrated at H for not taking enough baby duty, since weekends are the only time he is around during the day. Even when I'm not holding a baby I can't relax because I'm always thinking about who's holding them, if they're ok, when they need to eat next, etc. H can turn it off because he spends time away from them during the week but I can't. Even now I finally snuck upstairs for a nap but haven't been able to sleep because I kept hearing them crying, and now I know M could be ready to eat again at any moment.
I just so badly need a break. Like a day where the only baby care I have to do is feed. I feel guilty saying that because I know my babies don't get as much attention as singletons but it's just so constant.
I'm also just exhausted because M was up every hour all night. H took half the shifts but it took him forever to get up so I was awake listening to the crying on the monitor each time. And then this morning he slept in after I got up to feed and MIL made some comment about how he was "up all night". Um, I was up at least as much. I feel like both our families value his time and sleep more than mine because he has school and work and I'm "just" a SAHM. And then H had the gall to comment about how I slept through the crying on the monitor ONCE just after I had finally gotten to sleep.
H is being much more supportive since I talked to him about it this morning but I am still so tired and frustrated and worn out. Sorry for the disjointed rant I just needed to get it out.
Ok woah you traveled out of town with the babies?? I have refused to travel out of town this Thanksgiving and even Christmas. Maybe by next summer. Way too much stress and trouble right now. My philosophy is anyone who wants to see the baby can come to me. No wonder you feel the way you do
Having a rough couple days. I just feel like I'm on 24/7 and can't get a break. We are visiting my ILs and usually that means they help a lot with the babies, but so far I get handed a baby any time they cry. I got frustrated at H for not taking enough baby duty, since weekends are the only time he is around during the day. Even when I'm not holding a baby I can't relax because I'm always thinking about who's holding them, if they're ok, when they need to eat next, etc. H can turn it off because he spends time away from them during the week but I can't. Even now I finally snuck upstairs for a nap but haven't been able to sleep because I kept hearing them crying, and now I know M could be ready to eat again at any moment.
I just so badly need a break. Like a day where the only baby care I have to do is feed. I feel guilty saying that because I know my babies don't get as much attention as singletons but it's just so constant.
I'm also just exhausted because M was up every hour all night. H took half the shifts but it took him forever to get up so I was awake listening to the crying on the monitor each time. And then this morning he slept in after I got up to feed and MIL made some comment about how he was "up all night". Um, I was up at least as much. I feel like both our families value his time and sleep more than mine because he has school and work and I'm "just" a SAHM. And then H had the gall to comment about how I slept through the crying on the monitor ONCE just after I had finally gotten to sleep.
H is being much more supportive since I talked to him about it this morning but I am still so tired and frustrated and worn out. Sorry for the disjointed rant I just needed to get it out.
Ok woah you traveled out of town with the babies?? I have refused to travel out of town this Thanksgiving and even Christmas. Maybe by next summer. Way too much stress and trouble right now. My philosophy is anyone who wants to see the baby can come to me. No wonder you feel the way you do
It's actually helpful for us to get a change of scenery because we live in a 1br and we go a little stir crazy when we're stuck there all the time. They live less than 2 hours away so it's not too bad. And my MIL bought PNPs, carseats, strollers, bath, toys, blankets, washcloths so most of the essentials are there already.
Post by hannahbear on Oct 23, 2016 16:06:38 GMT -5
Oh gosh. Sounds like Mr Boca needs a talking to. It's not fair that you feel you need to do all of that on your own. I'm sorry you were put in that position. You are an amazing mom, and it shows through in your effort and desire to put those babies first. Hugs!
bocaburger - it's totally okay to be assertive right now. You have TWO babies and ultimately it is up to you to care for them. Indulging the grandparents is going to make your life harder? Nope. Foot down.
My in laws were here last week. One night, Baby Girl lost her shit. I didn't go to the scheduled dinner and I called my husband to come home halfway through. You are in a point where you do what you have to do and to hell with everyone else.
I'm usually a huge pleaser but I need to please the baby first or I'm left dealing with the screaming mess. No, thanks! Sanity and sleep are more important than hurt feelings to me. And really? Anyone who puts their needs above the baby's schedule kinda sucks.
Post by coffeequeen14 on Oct 23, 2016 16:43:12 GMT -5
bocaburger You're doing awesome!! I'm sorry you had to listen to them scream on the car ride back. That's such a crappy feeling but it doesn't make you a crappy mom! In fact, based on what you say here, I think you're an awesome mom.
I'm no longer a please. Oh, you want me to do something incredibly inconvenient with my kids in tow? Old me: sure! Can I pick something up for you on the way?
Post by remylove1011 on Oct 23, 2016 17:34:17 GMT -5
bocaburger you're doing a great job. The screaming in the car is so hard and I understand it makes you feel like a bad mom, but you're not. We've had lots of guests recently and I've just been putting my foot down about things. DD also hates the cover, so I can sympathize with that. It's most important to do what you think is right for them and the ILs can deal with it. MIL wants to take a walk. Great, go for a walk while I stay here and feed the babies. ((Hugs))
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
I'm no longer a please. Oh, you want me to do something incredibly inconvenient with my kids in tow? Old me: sure! Can I pick something up for you on the way?
New me: Nah. You can come to us.
Haha!! This is the attitude I've adopted. We're not going anywhere for the holidays for this reason. We're happy to host, so if they want to see her they'll have to come to us.
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
bocaburger I'm sorry you are having a tough weekend. My ILs came to visit when DD was about 2 weeks old and we spent most of the time they were here out of the house, sightseeing and eating out for every meal. And even when we were at home they were holding the baby the whole time. It was stressful and DH did not understand that, which was really frustrating. I can only imagine with two. You are doing a great job, it's tough being the only one thinking about what the babies need.
We are flying back home to visit in 2 weeks for about 48 hours total and we are supposed to see my parents and DHs family (1.5 hour drive apart) plus a meet the baby party. So that should be interesting. Hopefully I can get DH to understand that we have to respect the baby's schedule as much as possible-not keeping her up past her bedtime because someone just really wants to hold her, etc. Since that's unlikely I'm preparing myself to have to be the bad guy all the time which should make it a great weekend for me.
Post by bocaburger on Oct 23, 2016 17:45:38 GMT -5
Thanks everyone. Sorry for the continued rant I am just so annoyed. After the 2 hour crying fest finally ended FIL decided it was time to watch the football game (we recorded it so there is no rush). It's a very important tradition for H to watch with his dad, which left me doing the babies' laundry. While that was happening our dog tried to nip SIL's dog, while H was in the same room but not paying attention. So I had to go put the dog in time out while H continues to watch the game. Then M woke up and was fussing. There are 6 other adults in this house and not a single person bothered to pick him up or think about what he might need. So I went and got him and changed his diaper. By the time that was done it was time for his next feeding.
There are 7 adults here including their father, so WHY have I been doing nonstop baby care for 3.5 hours??? And I am STARVING because I have done 3 rounds of feeding since brunch but haven't been able to eat yet.
Losing. My. Shit.
But M just rewarded me with a round of huge smiles, so at least someone appreciates my hard work.
I'm no longer a please. Oh, you want me to do something incredibly inconvenient with my kids in tow? Old me: sure! Can I pick something up for you on the way?
New me: Nah. You can come to us.
Haha!! This is the attitude I've adopted. We're not going anywhere for the holidays for this reason. We're happy to host, so if they want to see her they'll have to come to us.
This is what we're doing for Christmas this year. I want DS to wake up in his own home on Christmas morning and I know both sets of parents would argue about who gets him on his first Christmas anyhow.
Thanks everyone. Sorry for the continued rant I am just so annoyed. After the 2 hour crying fest finally ended FIL decided it was time to watch the football game (we recorded it so there is no rush). It's a very important tradition for H to watch with his dad, which left me doing the babies' laundry. While that was happening our dog tried to nip SIL's dog, while H was in the same room but not paying attention. So I had to go put the dog in time out while H continues to watch the game. Then M woke up and was fussing. There are 6 other adults in this house and not a single person bothered to pick him up or think about what he might need. So I went and got him and changed his diaper. By the time that was done it was time for his next feeding.
There are 7 adults here including their father, so WHY have I been doing nonstop baby care for 3.5 hours??? And I am STARVING because I have done 3 rounds of feeding since brunch but haven't been able to eat yet.
Losing. My. Shit.
But M just rewarded me with a round of huge smiles, so at least someone appreciates my hard work.
Honestly, once the babies are fed, I would hand them to H, say you need a break and walk away without a response from him. He needs to understand that you have been going nonstop all day with 2 babies and nobody has helped.
bocaburger everything katelm said! DH and I try to discuss the game plan for when we're out. As it relates to departure time, feeding, etc. We've also added in the pep talk about dealing with DDs shyness. Doing this helps us both understand expectations. However in terms of leaving the house unfortunately the getting stuff ready falls on me.
Edit: upon further reading also do as pbandjelly suggested. Dads truly need to be told what to do. The learning curve is slower for them. Even with a second DH still needs direction.
Thanks everyone. Sorry for the continued rant I am just so annoyed. After the 2 hour crying fest finally ended FIL decided it was time to watch the football game (we recorded it so there is no rush). It's a very important tradition for H to watch with his dad, which left me doing the babies' laundry. While that was happening our dog tried to nip SIL's dog, while H was in the same room but not paying attention. So I had to go put the dog in time out while H continues to watch the game. Then M woke up and was fussing. There are 6 other adults in this house and not a single person bothered to pick him up or think about what he might need. So I went and got him and changed his diaper. By the time that was done it was time for his next feeding.
There are 7 adults here including their father, so WHY have I been doing nonstop baby care for 3.5 hours??? And I am STARVING because I have done 3 rounds of feeding since brunch but haven't been able to eat yet.
Losing. My. Shit.
But M just rewarded me with a round of huge smiles, so at least someone appreciates my hard work.
Wtf this is not helpful at all. I agree just hand H the babies to hold at this point. Can your ILs feed them bottles of pumped milk while you eat? This is all so frustrating. Have you talked to your H about your frustration?
I'm suddenly feeling very appreciative of my H. He is always looking to see what he can do to help and is more on top of the every 3 hour feed schedule than me.
And wtf to them acting like you are "just" a sahm. I recently returned to work and honestly have found that my time in the office to be way easier & calmer than home with baby during my mat leave. In my opinion work is definitely a break. Kind of funny that work is a break. But the fact that I can drink coffee in peace, eat real food & eat at a reasonable time, use bathroom when i need to. ...
Anyway he is for sure getting a break even if it's for work & school while you are doing the hardest work of all and getting no break. It's not fair
Post by remylove1011 on Oct 23, 2016 18:37:37 GMT -5
bocaburger I'd have a talk with YH. For my husband he's happy to help and does want to help, but often needs me to say "will you change her while I get set up to feed her" and he'll jump right on it. It is hard to have to ask, but I've found it helped and now he's started to jump up and say "I'll change her" when he sees home headed that direction.
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
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