I know we've been talking about this in other threads but I thought we could all share some of our biggest fears about childbirth and parenting, particularly us FTMs.
I'll go first...I'm afraid of the pain of childbirth. I'm also afraid I'll poop lol. I'm also nervous that I will have a difficult time nursing or that it will hurt.
I'm actually more afraid that I'll poop during birth than I am about birth itself. I know it happens to many women and it's nothing the doctor or nurses haven't seen before, but I'll be so embarrassed!
I'm not nervous about labor but I am worried I will struggle breastfeeding. I really want to do it but so many people seem to have a hard time. I'm hoping I wont.
I'm going to be taking a breastfeeding class at the hospital and I'm hoping that will ease some of my fears. I just hope it comes naturally to me because I have the tendency to be kind of a quitter.
Irrational: I've always been scared of having a brain aneurysm while pushing. There are so many vessels in the brain, and I'll be pushing so hard - how is one of them not going to burst?
When the Dr said theres a good chance I might have to have a c-section part of me was like "oh good, that means I won't have a brain aneurysm." But at the last appt he said things look good and vaginal could happen fine.
I'm actually more afraid that I'll poop during birth than I am about birth itself. I know it happens to many women and it's nothing the doctor or nurses haven't seen before, but I'll be so embarrassed!
I was worried about this last time too. Although, you might not even know it's happening during the moment - I didn't. There's so much pushing going on and I was kneeling on the bed facing away from the nurses who were quick about disposing of it. If you would've asked me right after the baby came out, I wouldn't been able to tell you if I did or not with any certainty.
Although DH was kind enough to inform me that I had in fact pooped. I was slightly embarrassed about that at the time, but between meconium getting all over DH's clothes when the baby did finally get pulled out and all of DD's poops over the last two years of her life, I'm immune to it now.
I could honestly care less if I poop this time around.
sarahdawn and laur1020 It does happen to a lot of women and honestly you probably won't even know you did it. They nurses and doctors have all seen it and they just clean it away. You will be too busy concentrating on your contractions and pushing the baby out.
ETA: My advice would be if you don't want to know if you pooped or not, just don't ask!
Post by lgsdesigner on Feb 13, 2015 13:19:33 GMT -5
My only fear right now is something going wrong during the VBAC. The chances of a placenta abruption are only 1%, but still...I always feel like I *might* be that 1%.
Other than that-- I am really eager for the whole experience.
I'm terrified of history repeating itself. Mostly I try and not think about it. Not healthy at all. I worry about things going even worse this time and how H will cope with it. It's a dark road to go down.
I'll go first...I'm afraid of the pain of childbirth. I'm also afraid I'll poop lol. I'm also nervous that I will have a difficult time nursing or that it will hurt.
From what I've been told and read even if you do poop you probably won't notice or it will happen so fast and the nurses will clean up you won't even care. Lots and lots of people poop during labor.
sarahdawn and laur1020 It does happen to a lot of women and honestly you probably won't even know you did it. They nurses and doctors have all seen it and they just clean it away. You will be too busy concentrating on your contractions and pushing the baby out.
This.
It kind of makes sense for it to happen. I had no idea that I did it with one of my deliveries until last week when DH's niece was talking about being scared of that happening. DH had never mentioned it before. He doesn't even remember which baby it was...haha!
~Dating 3/1/1999~Engaged 11/9/2002~Married 10/10/2004~ DD#1 Sweet Pea Born on her Due Date 3/1/2007 DD#2 Pumpkin Arrived 2 Days Late 10/1/2010 BFP 6/12/13 EDD 2/21/14 MMC 8/5/13 @ 11w5d D&C 8/8/13 BFP 3/15/14 EDD 11/21/14 CP 4w2d BFP 7/3/14 EDD 3/15/15 CP 4w DD#3 Baby Doll Arrived 3 Days Late 5/13/15
I'm terrified of history repeating itself. Mostly I try and not think about it. Not healthy at all. I worry about things going even worse this time and how H will cope with it. It's a dark road to go down.
~Dating 3/1/1999~Engaged 11/9/2002~Married 10/10/2004~ DD#1 Sweet Pea Born on her Due Date 3/1/2007 DD#2 Pumpkin Arrived 2 Days Late 10/1/2010 BFP 6/12/13 EDD 2/21/14 MMC 8/5/13 @ 11w5d D&C 8/8/13 BFP 3/15/14 EDD 11/21/14 CP 4w2d BFP 7/3/14 EDD 3/15/15 CP 4w DD#3 Baby Doll Arrived 3 Days Late 5/13/15
Post by lgsdesigner on Feb 13, 2015 13:29:49 GMT -5
And FWIW -- The pooping on the table and vomiting portion is nothing to worry about. Do you realize how many times they see a laboring mother throw up or poop? Daily, multiple times a day. It is nothing to worry about.
I'm terrified of history repeating itself. Mostly I try and not think about it. Not healthy at all. I worry about things going even worse this time and how H will cope with it. It's a dark road to go down.
Hugs, hugs, hugs. I can't imagine trying to cope with those fears and probably would also just end up trying not to think about it.
I'm terrified of history repeating itself. Mostly I try and not think about it. Not healthy at all. I worry about things going even worse this time and how H will cope with it. It's a dark road to go down.
I'll go first...I'm afraid of the pain of childbirth. I'm also afraid I'll poop lol. I'm also nervous that I will have a difficult time nursing or that it will hurt.
It's so hard to explain, but I wouldn't describe it as pain...It's definitely intense but it's different than pain from getting hurt. It's constantly changing.
The best piece of advice I can give is to take it one contraction at a time.
~Dating 3/1/1999~Engaged 11/9/2002~Married 10/10/2004~ DD#1 Sweet Pea Born on her Due Date 3/1/2007 DD#2 Pumpkin Arrived 2 Days Late 10/1/2010 BFP 6/12/13 EDD 2/21/14 MMC 8/5/13 @ 11w5d D&C 8/8/13 BFP 3/15/14 EDD 11/21/14 CP 4w2d BFP 7/3/14 EDD 3/15/15 CP 4w DD#3 Baby Doll Arrived 3 Days Late 5/13/15
Ugh, I did that too. And all of the Lemonheads that I brought to suck on but really just ate hand over fist while the nurses weren't looking came right back up. I think I actually tried to make a joke about it at the time: "how did those get in there?"
They do have bins right there for just that reason so you likely won't vomit on yourself or someone else - is that part of it? Or do you just hate throwing up? I hate throwing up.
I'm terrified of history repeating itself. Mostly I try and not think about it. Not healthy at all. I worry about things going even worse this time and how H will cope with it. It's a dark road to go down.
Poppy - I really hope this is your take-home baby. I could not imagine. Thinking of you, and HUGE hugs.
I'm jealous of anyone who says they didn't know they pooped. There was no denying it when I did. I'm pretty sure the entire maternity ward knew I pooped.
I'm afraid of "the wall" That infamous point you hit where you have to accept and go into the pain for it to be over. I'm worried that my self preservation will kick in too hard and I'll just tense up and refuse to push the baby out.
Irrational: I'm also afraid of laboring while standing or squatting. I keep thinking my legs will probably just give out and I'll fall over. And, of course, I'll be too huge and fat for anyone to pick up...
Post by sunshyneshay on Feb 13, 2015 13:43:23 GMT -5
I'm afraid I will fail at breast feeding/cloth diapering. I know no one that was successful/stuck with breast feeding so I'm worried I won't have the support system I will need if I'm having a rough time. And everyone I know thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do cloth diapers. I fear failing at either of these and proving them all right.
I'm afraid of "the wall" That infamous point you hit where you have to accept and go into the pain for it to be over. I'm worried that my self preservation will kick in too hard and I'll just tense up and refuse to push the baby out.
Irrational: I'm also afraid of laboring while standing or squatting. I keep thinking my legs will probably just give out and I'll fall over. And, of course, I'll be too huge and fat for anyone to pick up...
Oh, the wall. That was the most intense moment of my life. I didn't realize I was there in the moment, but looking back, I can't believe where my mind went. I'm really curious about what will happen this time.
Crowning...just hearing the word makes my vagina hurt!!! The pain scares me and I'm afriad that I won't be able to do it on my own and will have to transfer to a hospital. I understand that having a home birth was completely my decision, and I stand by that, but sometimes I wonder if the fear would be less intense if I had chosen a hospital.
I'm afraid I will fail at breast feeding/cloth diapering. I know no one that was successful/stuck with breast feeding so I'm worried I won't have the support system I will need if I'm having a rough time. And everyone I know thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do cloth diapers. I fear failing at either of these and proving them all right.
You'd be amazed at how much online support can help when it comes to breastfeeding. Most of my support came from texting my sister who lives 500 miles away, or utilizing the BF board here or asking my other Bump mom friends. Just don't be afraid to reach out and ask for it when you are struggling! Also, your hospital or doctors office should be able to put you in touch with local BF support groups if you'd rather go that route, too. I will say that support was crucial for my success.
My fear is that my water will break and labor won't start on it's own. I've been lucky to have 2 spontaneous labors with my water breaking well into active labor, and I feel like I'm bound to have a hiccup this time.
Post by lolacachia on Feb 13, 2015 13:58:44 GMT -5
I feel like once I'm in the moment, if I poop I poop. But right now, thinking about that is so humiliating to me.
I think I'm more scared of the healing and recovery than the actual labor. I'm hoping adrenaline and excitement kicks in during the birth. But things just coming out of you and healing tears and trying not to wipe and trying to poop normal for weeks after while caring for a newborn?! What fresh hell is this?!
Post by CaptainLeela on Feb 13, 2015 14:14:45 GMT -5
I've heard too many stories about placental abruption for my own good and now I'm completely terrified that it will happen and my doc won't respond in time and I'll lose my baby and/or hemorrhage. I know in my head that it's super rare but it's the whole reason I chose to deliver in a hospital instead of a birthing center. I want to be as close to an OR as possible in case something like that happens.
I'm also really scared of breastfeeding. I'm scared of the pain, I'm worried that we'll have issues with it (I have flat nipples), and I'm worried that I won't like it (I don't like my breasts touched by anyone, even DH). I also am worried that I'll resent being an on-demand milk vending machine that can't leave my baby's side for more than a few minutes, and that she won't take a bottle so I won't be able to get any help with feeding or be able to leave her with a sitter.
ETA: also, the thought of dealing with tears/stitches down there just sounds horrifically painful. I'm scared of the whole peeing/pooping situation during recovery.
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