Look, the entire MLM business is built on using relationships to sell stuff. Because what other differentiation can exist? Same product, same price. Sure, presentation, etc, but that's not that significant.
It's not wrong, and it doesn't make you a bed person, but you have to acknowledge it.
I have a small confession. I felt really bad about my reaction when MH told me he needs 4-5 nights a week to study for some upcoming certification tests. This basically means I'm doing dinner, bath, bed alone all week and I didn't handle the news well. Made me feel shitty because I know it is important for his career and since he makes 3x more than me and pays the majority of our bills I feel like I don't have a right to complain. Especially if it will mean even more financial freedom for us.
But yeah, my reaction sucked and I need to learn how to adjust to new situations better.
If I've learned anything about being in school with kids, and DH in school, it's that you are allowed your reactions.
We developed a system where when we tell the other person we need the time, etc and the other person reacts however. We come back and work out details after some time has passed (an hour, that evening, etc). We are trying not to take personally the reactions.
He obviously needs the time (and has already reacted/had time to process/feel put out when given the date of his certification, etc). But when he comes to you, its the first you're hearing of it, and you are allowed that negative reaction as well. Give yourself the same time to process!
I have a small confession. I felt really bad about my reaction when MH told me he needs 4-5 nights a week to study for some upcoming certification tests. This basically means I'm doing dinner, bath, bed alone all week and I didn't handle the news well. Made me feel shitty because I know it is important for his career and since he makes 3x more than me and pays the majority of our bills I feel like I don't have a right to complain. Especially if it will mean even more financial freedom for us.
But yeah, my reaction sucked and I need to learn how to adjust to new situations better.
I get this, MH recently started back to school and drilling for NG. Between class, drill, and studying, I basically am with the kids all non working hours. What I am doing to cope is drawing a line in the sand on certain things. Like for instance, I will not give up going to workouts and like this weekend I am making him take the girls out so I can sit around and drink wine with my friend. If you at least try and get some time for self care, it will make it more manageable and you will feel less resentful.
Post by librarychica on Jan 27, 2017 9:06:51 GMT -5
I am kind of annoyed that my H is watching what he eats again. I feel like an ass about it.
After DD2 we both lost weight. I lost the baby weight + 10lbs and he lost 30+. Of course we have regained some and he wants to do a big diet and fitness push again and since I do nearly all the cooking I feel obligated to help you cooking healthy and providing calorie counts. But I am not into it right now. I'm happy where I am. Of course I want him to be healthy and I feel like an ass because he would cook his own food and exercise alone, but I am cooking anyway. I just don't want to have to think that hard about dinner.
Argh you guys are giving me the advice I would give one of you. I would be happier doing literally anything NOT child related. Would it be terrible form to cancel on the interview?
No because you wouldn't be wasting the time of the interviewer and they could interview someone who wants the job
Look, the entire MLM business is built on using relationships to sell stuff. Because what other differentiation can exist? Same product, same price. Sure, presentation, etc, but that's not that significant.
It's not wrong, and it doesn't make you a bed person, but you have to acknowledge it.
I hate everything about it but also I absolutely loathe when people try hard to pass it off as the same as other non-pyramid scheme businesses.
Like the Mary Kay consultant who didn't understand why I couldn't invite church members to a party where I'd benefit from their purchases. I was like, "I'm in a position of power." Her face was blank...
@lsj, I know what you mean. I know dd is 6, but she has been so trying lately that I dread picking her up. I hate being like this and I try so much positive acknowledgement, but it just doesn't help.
Post by librarychica on Jan 27, 2017 9:11:27 GMT -5
normadix, H and I have been in that place and had that argument (?) It isn't always an argument so much as a distinct, resentful lack of enthusiasm. I ditto mack's advice. Find something that you need to stay in a better place (for me it is a set time each week that he knows I will be taking to myself -- can be as little as an hour but it is set and I don't feel guilty about it) and reserve it. He does the same when needed. Having it "known and reserved" for us helps keep things balanced and us happy.
Look, the entire MLM business is built on using relationships to sell stuff. Because what other differentiation can exist? Same product, same price. Sure, presentation, etc, but that's not that significant.
It's not wrong, and it doesn't make you a bed person, but you have to acknowledge it.
I hate everything about it but also I absolutely loathe when people try hard to pass it off as the same as other non-pyramid scheme businesses.
I work for myself and selling my services. That sounds so scandelous. To friends legit makes me feel very uncomfortable. Plus the areas of law I work in I pretty much don't want to know the information you will need to give me to represent you
Not that I am not a supportive friend but it is different when you talk to a lawyer
@lsj this is essentially like you moving cross country for a fresh start and taking the same job you had before at half the previously unliveable salary, in a higher cost of living location.
Well then it doesn't make financial sense so it's not worth it. It is absolutely okay to give a thanks but no thanks response.
I agree. But, there are other things to be gained by taking a job, even for the short term, other than a salary.
It could be a good place to start to network with families, establish a working history in the province and spur you on to either look for a better fit job-wise or use the pay to upgrade/improve your skills on your CV, if that's something that you need to do.
Don't make yourself miserable, but if it was me, I'd for sure take the interview and if offered, seriously consider the job - at least for the short term while I get settled.
Look, the entire MLM business is built on using relationships to sell stuff. Because what other differentiation can exist? Same product, same price. Sure, presentation, etc, but that's not that significant.
It's not wrong, and it doesn't make you a bed person, but you have to acknowledge it.
I acknowledged it is based on relationships. It was the claim we are trained to guilt people that I took issue with.
And I fully believe that you don't intentionally guilt people into buying.
But anyone who doesn't feel guilted into buying something when they go to an in-home party is a stronger woman than I.
I work for myself and selling my services. That sounds so scandelous. To friends legit makes me feel very uncomfortable. Plus the areas of law I work in I pretty much don't want to know the information you will need to give me to represent you
Not that I am not a supportive friend but it is different when you talk to a lawyer
I'm confused.
Mlm marketing would not be my thing bc I dont like doing business with friends or people I have outside work relationships with
Post by rocksforludo on Jan 27, 2017 9:17:44 GMT -5
I have an ear infection. When the pharmacist handed me my amoxicillin, I told her she gave me the wrong thing because I was expecting the pink liquid goo DS gets instead of capsules.
Lately, my stomach has started to hurt when work is almost over and I have to go home to my family. The baby just cries from the end of daycare to bedtime basically. It makes me feel like a really bad person and also makes me embarrassed at my lack of coping skills.
Sorry Lsj, I know that's a terrible feeling.
Did you ever make it to the pedi to talk about it? My tot has started waking up at night and getting up at the crack of dawn. It's been miserable for us. I'm hoping it's a molar coming in or something.
I have a small confession. I felt really bad about my reaction when MH told me he needs 4-5 nights a week to study for some upcoming certification tests. This basically means I'm doing dinner, bath, bed alone all week and I didn't handle the news well. Made me feel shitty because I know it is important for his career and since he makes 3x more than me and pays the majority of our bills I feel like I don't have a right to complain. Especially if it will mean even more financial freedom for us.
But yeah, my reaction sucked and I need to learn how to adjust to new situations better.
It is so hard when your kids are little and they need and demand all of your attention to shepherd them through the evening hours. It is exhausting - mentally, physically, emotionally. Feeling overwhelmed at the thought of doing it for an extended period of time while your DH prepares for an exam is totally understandable and fair.
But, be fair to him to. Since you feel bad, let him know that. It will probably make you feel better.
Last night I bought leggings that I didn't even want. I feel some kind of weird obligation to buy something when I'm invited to shopping parties. I dont know if this is confession-worthy, but its all I got.
Oh God are they covered in cats or hideous prints?
I saw someone wearing Bernie Sanders leggings at the Women's March. I almost took a picture to post here but decided that was bad form.
And I fully believe that you don't intentionally guilt people into buying.
But anyone who doesn't feel guilted into buying something when they go to an in-home party is a stronger woman than I.
I did one at my house on Saturday. The hostess brought her mother in law who I have known since I was a kid. She sat on my couch and didn't even want to try a single thing on. I simply asked if she would like some coffee and told her I had refreshments in the kitchen if she would like. She said she was fine and we talked about other things while the other ladies were trying things on and having fun.
I get it. YOU don't guilt people into buying things. But the general idea of MLM/DS is that people come to the parties to buy things in that moment - which, again, is why there are in-home parties and online pop-up sales and not (again, IN GENERAL) inventory that's constantly up so you can shop as you please.
So yes when people are invited to in-home parties (or online pop-ups or what have you) and are told the hostess is getting rewards based on how much her friends buy, there is a level of guilt there. Just in the general sense.
I've had candidates walk out during the interview. It was when I managed a call center. It was fine, I was glad they respected my time.
Wait in what way is walking out of an ongoing interview respectful?!
Because they didn't waste my time. It happened twice. One of the times the interviewee had just come off a shadow and I asked what she thought of the shadow and she admitted she found it intimidating and she said didn't feel she could do the job. Cool, you saved me 45 minutes. I'm going back to my desk to check emails before the next person.
I have an ear infection. When the pharmacist handed me my amoxicillin, I told her she gave me the wrong thing because I was expecting the pink liquid goo DS gets instead of capsules.
I was embarrassed for myself.
I hope your ear gets better soon. Those are the worst.
I've had candidates walk out during the interview. It was when I managed a call center. It was fine, I was glad they respected my time.
Wait in what way is walking out of an ongoing interview respectful?!
You just stop the interview. You say, "I appreciate your time and this opportunity, but I have realized that this is not the right fit/environment/position for my skill set. Thank you."
I don't have a general issue with MLM. What a take issue with is someone PMing me not because they actually care about how I am doing, but they want to try and sell me Shakeo.
I have an ear infection. When the pharmacist handed me my amoxicillin, I told her she gave me the wrong thing because I was expecting the pink liquid goo DS gets instead of capsules.
I was embarrassed for myself.
I was on amoxicillin 2 weeks ago and when I picked it up I made a joke to the pharmacist that oh darn I was really really hoping for the bubble gum stuff and he looked at me with a totally blank stare. I said sorry I was trying to make a joke. He still didn't laugh.
Post by librarychica on Jan 27, 2017 9:29:41 GMT -5
I'm a jeans woman. I don't really care for leggings outside of exercise. BUT I would seriously consider wearing Bernie Sanders leggings because ... Bernie Sanders leggings! Maybe not outside, but at home where H could smile at the fact that I was wearing Bernie Sanders leggings and DDs could ask me why I was wearing a grandpa on my pants.
Bernie Sanders leggings. Knowing they exist has made me chuckle happily.
Basically half of my SAHM friends sell some sort of MLM swag. I have bought things out of guilt, but it was like, okay I do need moisturizer anyway, I guess I'll get it from you at a slight up-charge just this once. I like LLR things so I buy them when I feel passionately about a piece. I have never gotten anything from 31 because I hate their prints.
It's the nature of my life and my friends get that because they are living it too. I have never felt personally victimized by anyone for not buying what they are selling.
I'm a jeans woman. I don't really care for leggings outside of exercise. BUT I would seriously consider wearing Bernie Sanders leggings because ... Bernie Sanders leggings! Maybe not outside, but at home where H could smile at the fact that I was wearing Bernie Sanders leggings and DDs could ask me why I was wearing a grandpa on my pants.
Bernie Sanders leggings. Knowing they exist has made me chuckle happily.
Post by Cherhorowitz on Jan 27, 2017 9:33:56 GMT -5
I went to an in-home party once. $500 on 3 Stella and Dot necklaces later ....
I didn't even feel a hard sales tactic. I just felt like if someone invited me to their house and fed me, I should buy something. I was unaware how expensive costume jewelry was.
Anyway, I decline any and all sales parties now. I know I don't have the power to leave empty handed.
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