Post by loves2shop4shoes on Apr 20, 2017 6:25:06 GMT -5
E had another good stretch last night. 9:30-4:30. Then slept for an hour and woke up screaming with poop. I'm hoping to put her back down so I can wash some bottles and get ready for the day.
Had my call with the freelance lady yesterday afternoon. I was planning on accepting the job until she started the conversation by saying that she could no longer commit to 25-30 hours per week; she can only commit to 15.
I can't do it for 15. I know I can't. I'd have to have other freelance stuff lined up to be able to swing that, and I don't.
Plus, the whole time we were in talks about this, I emphasized that I needed a minimum of 25 hours and she said it wouldn't be a problem. This doesn't lend itself well to feeling job security. I told her I needed more time to think it over, but in my heart, I know the answer is no.
I think I'm going to have to go back to my job and I'm super upset about it. I was really ready for a fresh start.
The other thing is that I have a strong hunch that at the "returning from maternity leave" meeting I'm having tomorrow, they're going to try to lay me off. They've been acting strangely for a while. They cut my access to all of my work accounts within a week of my going on maternity leave. And the meeting about returning is involving my boss, the owner of the company, and Human Resources and is being held at the remote office, which I've never even been to.
So, now I feel super fucked and I'm super stressed out about it. It's pretty much all I can think about.
Take a deep breath loves2shop4shoes. Let's think of some positive things: 1. It is not that unusual for companies to cut access to accounts during leaves. So it might mean nothing.
2. IF you're laid off, you do have this freelance gig on the table to buy you some time. Depending on the numbers and your state, you may be able to collect unemployment if the freelance gig doesn't pay enough.
3. You've made your leave without dipping into savings. That's awesome! So maybe you can make it another couple months. Or maybe you need to dip into savings a little. That's what it's there for, and it's awesome you have that safety net.
4. You've had other interviews. Have you heard anything?
Post by shawnabm1320 on Apr 20, 2017 6:46:48 GMT -5
Hopefully your meeting isn't to lay you off,loves2shop4shoes. I'm sorry this is such a stressful time. Hopefully one of your other interviews will result in an offer!
Post by loves2shop4shoes on Apr 20, 2017 7:00:29 GMT -5
shellbell, you're right. I'm trying really hard not to catastrophize. Four years ago, I was dealing with sexual harassment at work and quit my job without another one lined up and it resulted in me being unemployed for seven months.
While it's good that I am getting interviews and people are responding to my resume, it doesn't mean shit unless I get an offer.
I can't go seven months without work again. And I know it's a major leap from where I am now vs where I was then, but that's where my mind goes. I'm terrified, especially now that I have a baby to provide for.
And to answer your question, still no updates from last week's interviews.
loves2shop4shoes but you do have the freelance gig. I understand it isn't ideal. But maybe you wouldn't even need to pay for daycare? So you already aren't at that place you were 4 years ago. This is already a more positive situation.
Post by dancerspose on Apr 20, 2017 7:17:45 GMT -5
loves2shop4shoes FX your meeting is not about a layoff. I'm sorry the freelance gig isn't working out. I understand how much it stinks to be tied to a job you don't like. That's awesome about all the savings you have, though.
loves2shop4shoes FWIW, I've been in your shoes. My school closed in 2014, right after I had DS. At that point, I had no job leads and really no idea what was going to happen.
loves2shop4shoes I'm sorry about the work situation. I would wait tot talk to your freelance lady again until after your meeting tomorrow with your current job if you can. See what they're going to say and go from there. If they do lay you off then I would say the same as shell and take the freelance gig until you can find something else. Positives of this outcome include more time with E, not totally unemployed and the best of both worlds for a little while of adult work and time at home with your new baby. I was laid off when I was on maternity leave with DD and it felt like the end of the world. I ended up collecting unemployment while I found something else. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. I got more time at home with DD and ended up finding the perfect job for me with a great company. Things will work themselves out. Big hugs in the meantime.
We're watching Trolls for probably the 6th time since DD got it in her Easter basket last weekend. Pretty sure we've already memorized the soundtrack. It's a nice break from back to back Lorax movie seshs.
loves2shop4shoes- Big Hugs!! Try to not stress about the work meeting. The company I work for takes away access during leave so try not to read too much into that. As others have said if the worst happens you do have the not ideal freelance offer still standing so that can help you get by. Maybe getting some freelance experience will lead to more or a better freelance opportunity?
We're watching Trolls for probably the 6th time since DD got it in her Easter basket last weekend. Pretty sure we've already memorized the soundtrack. It's a nice break from back to back Lorax movie seshs.
Yepp- We alternate between Sing and Trolls. Sing is kept in the basement and Trolls is in my room. (No DVD player on our main level...)
Last day of maternity leave for me. I want to do so much yet but just stayed home yesterday and today to get as many baby snuggles in as I can. I'll prolly be MIA today for my snuggles and maybe tears.
Last day of maternity leave for me. I want to do so much yet but just stayed home yesterday and today to get as many baby snuggles in as I can. I'll prolly be MIA today for my snuggles and maybe tears.
DH found my work pants!!!
-hugs- I feel your pain, my first day back was Monday. Enjoy all those baby cuddles!!! The weekend is coming!
Enjoy your last day of leave @jacks605! Soak up those snuggles. I hope your transition back goes smoothly!
So many ((hugs)) loves2shop4shoes. I don't have much to add to what's already been said. Good luck at your meeting - I hope it goes better than you're expecting!
Day 2 of the crib transition was a success! I'm so relieved.
B was down at 7, up to eat at 2:30, then back down until 6:50 - all in his crib! DD was down at 7:15, asleep by 8 and didn't wake when B fussed. Hooray!
Post by shawnabm1320 on Apr 20, 2017 8:25:34 GMT -5
I might bite the bullet and move baby to the crib. Eep. She is really too big for the newborn napper, and I think she might sleep better in her own room. I have the sads about putting her in her own room, though. And about possibly saying goodbye to all those glorious first stretches of sleep. 😕
For you guys that transitioned, did you do some naps first, or just start at night in the crib? Sometimes she naps in a not-moving swing in her room, but she has basically never napped or slept completely flat except by accident when we've laid her on the changing pad while putting DS to bed... lol
Post by flyinghorses6 on Apr 20, 2017 9:23:26 GMT -5
Sorry for the stress loves2shop4shoes I hope it all works out for you.
Sorry today is your last day on mat leave @jacks605
Happy Birthday to your DS cosmicav (is it weird I remember when he was born?) I love hearing about how smart he is! You should be very proud
shawnabm1320 we did some naps first but more to give her some peace away from her sister
So aside from all my sleeping woes with this babe. I am now pretty sure my supply is shit. She has been fighting me on the breast a lot. In the evenings (basically 4pm until I put her down at 7, I have no milk...I feed her until she's pissed, and then I can't even express a drop). She gets a bottle of EBM and formula mixed before bed. At her first wake up I feed on one side and pump the other. And I get about 3 oz.
Basically I feel like I'm failing at all things mom for this baby right now. And it's just bad timing because I'm going back to work so soon, and I feel like nothing is established. Uhhh maybe I'm just having an emotional day.
Post by loves2shop4shoes on Apr 20, 2017 9:31:32 GMT -5
Oh flyinghorses6, hugs. I remember how I felt when E wasn't taking in enough breastmilk while nursing. It's a shitty, shitty feeling.
Sounds like you're already supplementing some with formula, so know that if you wanted to give her pumped milk exclusively and supplement with formula (so you can monitor how much she's taking), there is absolutely zero shame in that.
flyinghorses6 sorry about the sleep and milk supply problems. One of my biggest pros about exclusively pumping is knowing exactly how much she's eating so we'll also know if we need to start supplementing.
AFM- it's day two on my own. We have a few errands to run. I need to go pick up our wine club package or else they'll mail it and bill me for shipping. I have to drive right by carters on my way to the winery so might as well stop in, right? Then i need to finally deal with my misspelled name on Z's birth certificate since I'm back at work next week.
In other news I'm currently staring at my baby who fell asleep flat on her back on her playmat after about a half hour of playing on it. I'm cautiously optimistic, since she NEVER sleeps flat on her back, that this is a good sign!
Post by notagoddess on Apr 20, 2017 9:47:54 GMT -5
Hugs loves2shop4shoes! I'm sorry you're dealing with so much stress.
I organized my freezer stash this morning and I counted 38 bags of 4 oz each -- 152 oz of breast milk! We better end up using all of it!
On the other hand my supply is still somewhat affected by the single dose of Zyrtec that I took 36 hours ago. I'm going to buy some Claritin and hope that affects it less.
Post by flyinghorses6 on Apr 20, 2017 10:05:34 GMT -5
dancerspose I'd say that's a great sign!! And she put herself to sleep, also great.
I bet you'll use it all notagoddess but that's an awesome stash you have going! I need to organize mine. I haven't been freezing as much since she's been using it fresh when I'm at the gym and before bed. Good luck with the Claritin! I hope it is better.
R is currently napping and I'm watching K play outside. I'm sitting on the deck, drinking coffee. I just called work to sign up for my call shifts ughhhh shoot me. I'm not ready to go back!
I really need to go to Walmart today, but I can't handle any toddlering from my toddler. I'm afraid it will just set me off if she's bad. I'm already feeling over emotional.
Post by musicallyinclined on Apr 20, 2017 10:41:50 GMT -5
loves2shop4shoes, sorry for the job uncertainties... @jacks605, enjoy all the baby cuddles ellabee, you are inspiring me to pull the plug on crib sleeping. DH is driving me bonkers with the MOTN activities with DS2. He will not quit suctioning his nose in the middle of the night, he doesn't need it and all it does is really piss him off and make it hard for him to go back to sleep. Not to mention, it wakes EVERYONE else up too.
flyinghorses6, sorry about your supply. I hope you are able to have peace with whatever you choose to do.
I'm working at a coffee shop this morning and it is glorious. DH has both boys since DS1 is on break and DS2 doesn't go to MDO yet. It is really really nice to be alone, drinking coffee and working!
Post by sweetieheart32 on Apr 20, 2017 11:33:49 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about your work woes loves2shop4shoes. That really sucks that the freelance gig can't follow through on what they promised. Hopefully you'll hear back from one of your other options soon. Baby is being ultra needy, not happy unless she's on the boob, sleeping on me, or has me actively entertaining her. It's nearly impossible to get anything done! I had to let her cry on the playmat this morning just so I could get a shower. And my last shower was Saturday night, so ew. Trying to remember that this stage won't last long and she'll be a big girl too soon! Speaking of which - Happy birthday to your DS cosmicav! I remember when he was born, too. Can't believe our babies are already hitting two!
Night one in the crib was successful! She slept 9p-6a. After she ate at 6 she started to doze again and I was lazy and put her in the bassinet vs going back into her room but I am still counting it as a success. No going back now!
I'm basically staring at my phone today willing it to ring so I know if I got the promotion or not.
@jacks605 - I hope you are getting all the baby snuggles today.
After a hellish day yesterday, we both had a good night of sleep and he let me attend a WW meeting this morning with no crying, he was awake just chillin'. I am grateful for that since my eating has taken a nosedive since I'm a huge emotional eater and I've been grabbing at anything that doesn't move lately.
We also have to make the transition from bassinet to crib soon, I'm hoping that he doesn't notice the change since he has been in his own room since day 1, but we shall see.
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