Thursday

[fem]

I'm trapped under a sleeping baby but I really need to poop.

Headed to the museum with friends today. Also need to grocery shop and make cookies for an event at school tomorrow.

[vavavictoria]

C'a 6 month apt is at 830. Feeding her currently. V is off to daycare with daddy. Nothing fun today. Just more work. A few days left to get ahead of my to do list before I go to the home office for a week.

[hikingmama222]

Roof still isn't done. Not sure what was going on yesterday but they didn't get much accomplished despite being up there for almost 9 hours.

DS was a crabby mess yesterday. I'm suspecting teeth but who knows.

Need to come up with something to do today. It's been a long week with DD out of school.

[smallpotato]

I'm waiting in the parking lot of the oral surgeon's office. Wisdom teeth are coming out today. Is it sad that I'm looking forward to see how much weight I lose over the next few days? We dropped both boys off at daycare, so at least I'll be coming home to a quiet house. They had picture day today, and they looked so handsome. I hope the pictures turn out well.

[becole]

I had a discussion with DCP today. They've said that my big is refusing to sit on the potty right now. I don't know why. And I don't know what to do. He's incredibly stubborn. She said almost everyone in their class (2.5-3) is potty trained and not having accidents. That makes me feel like it's my kids fault and not theirs. I'm at a loss. He was fully PT at home but recently has been giving us trouble as well about going. H wants to use pull ups at school because he's tired of accidents. It doesn't make any sense to me. I can't pin point it. Is it anxiety? Fear? He just DGAF? Toddlering? Being a jerk?

[vavavictoria]

becole we went through at least 6 weeks of this. V pooped in her panties every single day. When I asked her where she pooped "in my panties!" We ended up letting her have a really high value treat (she got to play with an old phone that has animal videos loaded on it) if she pooped in the potty at daycare. We shifted down to starburst when she was going it regularly and now we don't really give a treat unless she reminds us that she went at school. We talked about switching to pull-ups but I just washed those poop panties every day. It helps that I do cloth diapers with the baby so that wasn't too bad for me. I might have thrown them away and just spent a lot of money on underwear otherwise.

[ksyknelvr73]

Good luck today smallpotato, hope everything goes smoothly.

[ksyknelvr73]

becole I'm not sure what to think. DS2 had so many regressions over the last 6 or so months - he'd be back to PT almost 100% and then BAM it's like he'd change his mind or something. They wanted to move him up to the next room but he wasn't consistently PT and he was still in pull ups most of the time. A few weeks ago they said just send in underwear and I think forced him to do it...I credit them for making it happen. I wish I knew exactly what they did, because after a week of it he was good to go. But I'm not above bribing with candy or tablet time or whatever it takes - we did that quite a bit.

[becole]

Apr 20, 2017 8:48:26 GMT -5 ksyknelvr73 said:

becole I'm not sure what to think. DS2 had so many regressions over the last 6 or so months - he'd be back to PT almost 100% and then BAM it's like he'd change his mind or something. They wanted to move him up to the next room but he wasn't consistently PT and he was still in pull ups most of the time. A few weeks ago they said just send in underwear and I think forced him to do it...I credit them for making it happen. I wish I knew exactly what they did, because after a week of it he was good to go. But I'm not above bribing with candy or tablet time or whatever it takes - we did that quite a bit.

I think if I had him home, he'd be 100%. But he's not motivated at school. They put up a sticker chart and he got a few stickers and now he won't even sit. But the other kids are happy to get their sticker and do it. He will wait until they go on the playground and have an accident and I feel like he's purposely trying to be the biggest pita possible. This is his personality in the majority of other things too. All day long it's trying to convince/ bribe/ threaten from the moment he wakes up- pottying, brush teeth, eat breakfast that isn't candy, put clothes on. It goes on and on until he's at school and then the battle continues until bed. He is an exhausting child. I can't make him do it when I'm not around. Even when I am around it's like 100% of attention has to be on him or there's a problem. I get that he has a sibling but it's been 6 months and time to get over it. We give him lots of 1 on 1 and 2 on 1 attention as well. He gets lots of praise and fun things and if it's not 100% anything and everything he wants, it's going to be a meltdown screaming fight. We put him in his room twice last night by himself over refusing to put pajamas on to go to bed. I left him undressed and came back in while he screamed and kicked the door to ask if he was ready to put them on.
Then he asks "are you happy?" Like he doesn't want to make us upset and wants us to be happy but he can't help himself throwing the biggest fits ever. And whoever he's battling, he calls for the other parent. But then when he's calm, wants the parent back to make sure everyone is good and happy with him again.
H is at his wits end. He has no patience or empathy to mirror anyway. I just want to be able to play with my kid and have so much fun and not have every single minute ruined by screaming because the fun has to stop and he needs to eat/ bathe/ potty/ dress- basically anything.

[erien22846]

I'm reading the BLW cookbook today during my pump breaks today. We gave LO rice rusks last night and he devoured them. He did surprisingly great with chewing. He's definitely ready for food but I forget how we got started with DD so I'm refreshing my memory about age appropriate foods.

[ksyknelvr73]

becole that sounds a LOT like DS2 also. The only thing that I think saves me somewhat is that he has DS1 and he wants to be like him, so if DS1 is cooperating, DS2 will usually (not always) cooperate as well. But I swear we fight the SAME battles you are mentioning. He fights me on everything, never ever ever does anything the first time I tell him to (or who am I kidding, like the second, third and fourth as well). He makes everything a fight. He has recently started laying out in the floor kicking and screaming if I tell him no or take something away. I ignore it, but he is still doing it. Anytime he is in trouble with me he calls for daddy, and vice versa. Exhausting is exactly the word. I like to think he'll grow out of it...please God let him grow out of it? I feel like 6 months is enough time to adjust too, but I'm not an expert, and again I think this is where DS1 helps tremendously....DS2 was never an only child.

[erien22846]

becole I'm exhausted just reading about what you deal with every day. That would wear on me too. No advice on the accidents, but it sounds like you're doing the right thing by leaving him to tantrum alone and calm himself down.

[erien22846]

hikingmama222 wth? A roof shouldn't take more than a couple days with a professional crew. Hope they wrap up soon so you're not dealing with construction noise any more.

[becole]

Apr 20, 2017 9:10:02 GMT -5 ksyknelvr73 said:

becole that sounds a LOT like DS2 also. The only thing that I think saves me somewhat is that he has DS1 and he wants to be like him, so if DS1 is cooperating, DS2 will usually (not always) cooperate as well. But I swear we fight the SAME battles you are mentioning. He fights me on everything, never ever ever does anything the first time I tell him to (or who am I kidding, like the second, third and fourth as well). He makes everything a fight. He has recently started laying out in the floor kicking and screaming if I tell him no or take something away. I ignore it, but he is still doing it. Anytime he is in trouble with me he calls for daddy, and vice versa. Exhausting is exactly the word. I like to think he'll grow out of it...please God let him grow out of it? I feel like 6 months is enough time to adjust too, but I'm not an expert, and again I think this is where DS1 helps tremendously....DS2 was never an only child.

He is night and day different if we have him out of the house doing something fun, if he's with my parents, or at school (other than pottying), he's a pretty good kid. Now he's always not going to do what he doesn't want. So like if the teacher is painting with the entire class and he doesn't want to paint, he'll just get up from the table and go do something else. It's Montessori so he's free to do that right now but I do worry if we will ever get his little free spirit to fit into the boxes that society wants him to. I've even thought about switching to a nanny just to avoid the getting dressed issue because it delays us in the morning at least 30 minutes. It takes time to stop and do time out or take him to his room. It also takes time to just try to wrangle him in his clothes only to leave for two seconds and have him get back undressed. He will only wear t shirts and shorts and even then it's like- I want to wear the basketball shirt (that I wore yesterday and is dirty). I try to give him control where we can- you pick. But most of the time he won't pick anything to wear either. He's just like- no, I'm not getting dressed. H says send him in pajamas. I'm about there. And that's just getting dressed. It's every. Single. Thing. And every. Single. Day.
I do think if he had a sibling he would be easier. I have told H since he was very little that he was never meant to be the oldest child. He loves playing with older kids and if a kid is even a few months younger than him or doesn't talk as well, he'll say "I don't want to play with that baby." He's a turd.

[ksyknelvr73]

Apr 20, 2017 9:20:30 GMT -5 becole said:

Apr 20, 2017 9:10:02 GMT -5 ksyknelvr73 said:

becole that sounds a LOT like DS2 also. The only thing that I think saves me somewhat is that he has DS1 and he wants to be like him, so if DS1 is cooperating, DS2 will usually (not always) cooperate as well. But I swear we fight the SAME battles you are mentioning. He fights me on everything, never ever ever does anything the first time I tell him to (or who am I kidding, like the second, third and fourth as well). He makes everything a fight. He has recently started laying out in the floor kicking and screaming if I tell him no or take something away. I ignore it, but he is still doing it. Anytime he is in trouble with me he calls for daddy, and vice versa. Exhausting is exactly the word. I like to think he'll grow out of it...please God let him grow out of it? I feel like 6 months is enough time to adjust too, but I'm not an expert, and again I think this is where DS1 helps tremendously....DS2 was never an only child.

He is night and day different if we have him out of the house doing something fun, if he's with my parents, or at school (other than pottying), he's a pretty good kid. Now he's always not going to do what he doesn't want. So like if the teacher is painting with the entire class and he doesn't want to paint, he'll just get up from the table and go do something else. It's Montessori so he's free to do that right now but I do worry if we will ever get his little free spirit to fit into the boxes that society wants him to. I've even thought about switching to a nanny just to avoid the getting dressed issue because it delays us in the morning at least 30 minutes. It takes time to stop and do time out or take him to his room. It also takes time to just try to wrangle him in his clothes only to leave for two seconds and have him get back undressed. He will only wear t shirts and shorts and even then it's like- I want to wear the basketball shirt (that I wore yesterday and is dirty). I try to give him control where we can- you pick. But most of the time he won't pick anything to wear either. He's just like- no, I'm not getting dressed. H says send him in pajamas. I'm about there. And that's just getting dressed. It's every. Single. Thing. And every. Single. Day.
I do think if he had a sibling he would be easier. I have told H since he was very little that he was never meant to be the oldest child. He loves playing with older kids and if a kid is even a few months younger than him or doesn't talk as well, he'll say "I don't want to play with that baby." He's a turd.

Exactly....I don't even want to think about if DS2 had been the oldest. Yikes. I also think a lot of this is really the age too. 3 is just really, really bad and they are almost there. Even my DS1 who honestly has been the most well-behaved and sweetest kid his whole life - went through an AWFUL phase at 3 years old (I was also pregnant with DS2) but it was temporary and luckily short-lived. I am just holding out hope this will pass sooner rather than later. DS2 wants to be an older kid as evidenced by how he interacts with DS1 so maybe the focus can be on "being a big boy" with your DS as well? I try to say that when I remember and he is generally receptive to it. I just don't have any surefire solutions because toddlers are irrational and have phases where they suck really bad.

[jillian]

I spent most of my morning helping the boss fix major screw ups on a huge renovation project in one of our kitchens. Its unreal how much we pay these people to have to turn around and make them accountable for their mistakes. Then we have to go back over tomorrow to wipe all the new equipment down and set up the registers to be ready for breakfast on Monday morning. This quick install has taken 2 years. We are over it!

But the just reward is getting to go to a local wild life animal rescue/zoo with my SIL, niece and DD to see the animals. Its going to be beautiful this afternoon.

[hikingmama222]

Apr 20, 2017 9:14:37 GMT -5 erien22846 said:

hikingmama222 wth? A roof shouldn't take more than a couple days with a professional crew. Hope they wrap up soon so you're not dealing with construction noise any more.

No kidding. We're pretty annoyed it's taking this long. First day 3 guys showed up from 930-330 and finished the garage and shed (both detached). Second day was just 1 guy and he did the back half of the roof. Yesterday was just one guy removing the front part until about 2 when a second guy showed up to start putting on the shingles. Not sure why they don't have a full crew here all the time, could have been done in 2 days. Hopefully this is the last day.

[smallpotato]

All done. My lips look like I got fillers in them like the Kardashians. I am looking forward to a nap and something to eat. MH said he's make me scrambled eggs.

[erien22846]

becole Could he just sleep in his clothes? I've heard parents do that in similar situations or just to save time in the morning.

Also, I was reading a book about 3 year old behavior and it talked about kids going through 6 month cycles. Basically while the kid is going through a developmental leap, they are ornery. Then they figure things out and become more level headed. For us, the trying times started at 3.5, and four months later, they seem to be improving. All of that to say that I hope this is temporary for you and you see improvement.

[erien22846]

smallpotato if you don't mind me asking, why did you have to get your wisdom teeth pulled? I still have mine and plan on taking them to my grave...still in my mouth!

[smallpotato]

Apr 20, 2017 9:41:49 GMT -5 erien22846 said:

smallpotato if you don't mind me asking, why did you have to get your wisdom teeth pulled? I still have mine and plan on taking them to my grave...still in my mouth!

The teeth were very far back, making it nearly impossible to clean them properly. Cavities we're starting to form on the sides of the teeth, too, and fillings wouldn't stay. I also have on and off jaw pain from them, so it was time.

[becole]

Apr 20, 2017 9:40:14 GMT -5 erien22846 said:

becole Could he just sleep in his clothes? I've heard parents do that in similar situations or just to save time in the morning.

Also, I was reading a book about 3 year old behavior and it talked about kids going through 6 month cycles. Basically while the kid is going through a developmental leap, they are ornery. Then they figure things out and become more level headed. For us, the trying times started at 3.5, and four months later, they seem to be improving. All of that to say that I hope this is temporary for you and you see improvement.

I hope it's a cycle. Honestly there are good days and bad days but overall he's never had an "easy" cycle or a time period when things were smooth. Maybe a few days at a time but overall as soon as he could find a way to rebel or protest, he has. As he's gotten older,he just gets more sophisticated and more intelligent ways of trying to manipulate and control. He's awesome when he's awesome. He's so smart and funny, and sings awesome songs and dances hilariously and says sweet things like "mommy you look so pretty". It's enjoyable to have him out at like the zoo where he's getting what he wants. But as soon as pottying or eating or anything we need him to do comes up, the fun is over.

[macaronmama]

smallpotato My biggest rec on wisdom teeth is take those pain meds before you think they'll wear off. And enjoy all the ice cream you want.
becole That sounds so exhausting and spirit-breaking, I wish I could whisk you out and away for a girls night. I hope its just a phase that your DS1 grows out of soon. I can see my DH getting fed up with it pretty quickly as well.

Is anyone else doing bullet journaling? I like lists, and I'm a little artsy-fartsy so I went ahead and got some markers and a small dot journal to try my hand at it.

[erien22846]

smallpotato. I see. So I need to brush very very well so I can keep mine forever. I hate dental work.

Hope your recovery is smooth. Take it easy.

[britta]

Haaii! Checking in 2 days in a row. My list at work is a bit more manageable this week, thank the Lord! It's noon and I'm done seeing people, writing notes, and rounding. It's gotta be a record.

Hugs to those who need them (becole) and take those pain meds smallpotato!

[becole]

Apr 20, 2017 11:19:05 GMT -5 britta said:

Haaii! Checking in 2 days in a row. My list at work is a bit more manageable this week, thank the Lord! It's noon and I'm done seeing people, writing notes, and rounding. It's gotta be a record.

Hugs to those who need them (becole) and take those pain meds smallpotato!

Thanks. I try not to complain about him. I love him and he's my kid so I feel like saying bad things about him is wrong. But the potty thing has me really frustrated and I know it's a direct reflection of the rest of his personality. I just don't know how to fix it.

[adouces06]

becole I feel like my son is going to be very similar when he is a little older. At home, everything is a constant bribe or battle. At daycare, he is an angel. It's so hard sometimes, and it's exhausting constantly having to work around his wants. Hugs mama!
smallpotato hope recovery goes well!
macaronmama I did it for a hot minute and hated it LOL. Hopefully you like it more than I did!

Busy day at work with meetings and projects. During my pump sesh this morning, I spilled 3oz and thought I was going to cry. Probably going to have to pump tonight to make up for the spill. Wahhh.
Today is my Friday though, so I can't really complain. Tomorrow and Saturday will be spent tidying the house for DD's baptism on Sunday!

[jillian]

Apr 20, 2017 10:00:03 GMT -5 becole said:

Apr 20, 2017 9:40:14 GMT -5 erien22846 said:

becole Could he just sleep in his clothes? I've heard parents do that in similar situations or just to save time in the morning.

Also, I was reading a book about 3 year old behavior and it talked about kids going through 6 month cycles. Basically while the kid is going through a developmental leap, they are ornery. Then they figure things out and become more level headed. For us, the trying times started at 3.5, and four months later, they seem to be improving. All of that to say that I hope this is temporary for you and you see improvement.

I hope it's a cycle. Honestly there are good days and bad days but overall he's never had an "easy" cycle or a time period when things were smooth. Maybe a few days at a time but overall as soon as he could find a way to rebel or protest, he has. As he's gotten older,he just gets more sophisticated and more intelligent ways of trying to manipulate and control. He's awesome when he's awesome. He's so smart and funny, and sings awesome songs and dances hilariously and says sweet things like "mommy you look so pretty". It's enjoyable to have him out at like the zoo where he's getting what he wants. But as soon as pottying or eating or anything we need him to do comes up, the fun is over.

This was my son to a T. I am so sorry you feel like this. I also completely understand and empathize as well. This was the main reason we waited so extremely long to have a second.

[hikingmama222]

Not sure what's up with DS. He slept in until 9. Went back down shortly before 1030 and is still sleeping at 1145. He usually only naps 30 mins in the morning and there is a whole lot of racket happening on the roof. Hope he's not getting sick...

[becole]

Apr 20, 2017 12:27:37 GMT -5 jillian said:

Apr 20, 2017 10:00:03 GMT -5 becole said:

I hope it's a cycle. Honestly there are good days and bad days but overall he's never had an "easy" cycle or a time period when things were smooth. Maybe a few days at a time but overall as soon as he could find a way to rebel or protest, he has. As he's gotten older,he just gets more sophisticated and more intelligent ways of trying to manipulate and control. He's awesome when he's awesome. He's so smart and funny, and sings awesome songs and dances hilariously and says sweet things like "mommy you look so pretty". It's enjoyable to have him out at like the zoo where he's getting what he wants. But as soon as pottying or eating or anything we need him to do comes up, the fun is over.

This was my son to a T. I am so sorry you feel like this. I also completely understand and empathize as well. This was the main reason we waited so extremely long to have a second.

My #2 is 50x easier than #1 as an infant so I'm hoping that trend continues... If you have any advice or anything that worked as he grew/ or didn't work, I'd love to hear it from someone who has been there. I feel like I should be going to a parenting class or talking to a therapist about ways to handle him. I knows he's normal. No spectrum. Just 10/10 on the stubbornness/ difficult child spectrum.