B*tch, It's Fabulous Friday!

[ljgs1010]

My mom just gave me a talking to because I don't give her frequent updates on 2.0 and then questioned whether I was excited to have him.

Oh.

[trtlcrzy]

Mar 6, 2015 10:09:10 GMT -5 ljgs1010 said:

trtlcrzy, did he have a reason for saying that would make him feel closer? It's not computing for me.

He thinks I spend money frivolously, which I do sometimes, so he blames a lot of our issues on that. I feel like he feels like If didn't have any debt and a bunch of money in savings he would be happier. Idk, it's seriously the only thing he talks about.

[trtlcrzy]

Mar 6, 2015 10:11:27 GMT -5 ljgs1010 said:

My mom just gave me a talking to because I don't give her frequent updates on 2.0 and then questioned whether I was excited to have him.

Oh.

Thanks mom

[ljgs1010]

Mar 6, 2015 10:12:18 GMT -5 trtlcrzy said:

Mar 6, 2015 10:09:10 GMT -5 ljgs1010 said:

trtlcrzy, did he have a reason for saying that would make him feel closer? It's not computing for me.

He thinks I spend money frivolously, which I do sometimes, so he blames a lot of our issues on that. I feel like he feels like If didn't have any debt and a bunch of money in savings he would be happier. Idk, it's seriously the only thing he talks about.

That's so hard. I can understand stress over money -- I do it, too -- but it's not fair to blame relationship issues 100% on that. It's not like suddenly having $$$$ will take care of other issues that might be happening.

[trtlcrzy]

Mar 6, 2015 10:15:40 GMT -5 ljgs1010 said:

Mar 6, 2015 10:12:18 GMT -5 trtlcrzy said:

He thinks I spend money frivolously, which I do sometimes, so he blames a lot of our issues on that. I feel like he feels like If didn't have any debt and a bunch of money in savings he would be happier. Idk, it's seriously the only thing he talks about.

That's so hard. I can understand stress over money -- I do it, too -- but it's not fair to blame relationship issues 100% on that. It's not like suddenly having $$$$ will take care of other issues that might be happening.

Exactly. He just can't get past it.

[ljgs1010]

trtlcrzy, any chance of meeting him in the middle somehow? Pulling back the spending, but in return he has to give serious effort to addressing the issues you're concerned about?

[htk1113]

@trylcrzy Maybe he just feels extra pressure to provide for the family and thinks money is his way of providing security so, he stresses about that more, this brings it up more. I'm not saying his comments were helpful and don't see how that will make him feel closer to you.

I've had to point blank tell MH that our money situation is not going to change so he needs to bring something else to the table. Not to mention it makes me feel like crap because I feel like he's blaming. Sorry for tangent, my point is to tell him that those comments hurt your feelings and make you feel a certain way.

Eta: I'm always emotional when we talk money but I feel better after talking that out. I understand his point and he sees mine. Finances are a huge stressor in any relationship.

[untaggablekatie]

trtlcrzy, I'm sorry.... we have the same issues... I swear I can always feel DH tense up even when I come home from the grocery store...

[finnaroo]

I decided to check our mail on my way to the gym. We have a mail box that's sort of a tower thing and it's 2 doors down.

My brand new neighbor's chihuahua came running out of their house snarling and being toothy. He attempted to bite me a few times but didn't get a solid grip on skin.

I'm pretty floored actually. I walk B and Milo by there daily. I could probably stop him if it came to it because he's tiny, but Milo would not have that nonsense and I'm not sure if I'd be held responsible.

[trtlcrzy]

ljgs1010 yes. I haven't been buying unnecessary things in the last couple of months and he comments on how happy he is about that occasionally. He just says he doesn't trust me to keep it up basically. I promise you I'm not out buying LV bags and jewelry. When I "spend frivolously" it's spending $50 at target that he doesn't deem necessary. Or buying H more clothes she doesn't need. The discussion last night I suggested we put our phones/computers away and spend more time together doing things together. A lot of times we're more like roommates and do our own things, so we're gonna try that.

[dapostrophe]

Ladies, I feel like I've been living under a rock. I am glad to see everyone keeping the board busy! I just wanted to come up for air and say "hi" so you don't forget about me!

[trtlcrzy]

Mar 6, 2015 10:21:52 GMT -5 finnaroo said:

I decided to check our mail on my way to the gym. We have a mail box that's sort of a tower thing and it's 2 doors down.

My brand new neighbor's chihuahua came running out of their house snarling and being toothy. He attempted to bite me a few times but didn't get a solid grip on skin.

I'm pretty floored actually. I walk B and Milo by there daily. I could probably stop him if it came to it because he's tiny, but Milo would not have that nonsense and I'm not sure if I'd be held responsible.

You should go talk to that dog's owner. That's not acceptable.

[cagoldi]

Mar 6, 2015 8:21:44 GMT -5 @mothereffer said:

DH and I are going on a date tonight. I can't wait.

Yay!! Enjoy! Hope you guys have a great time.

[ljgs1010]

trtlcrzy, I wouldn't care if you WERE buying LV bags and jewelry. You don't need to justify your spending habits to us!

What matters is that you and your H can get on the same page, whatever that happens to be. I'm glad you're going to try and spend more time doing things together. My H and I need to start making that effort, too -- it's so hard when you're both tired/stressed/busy.

[trtlcrzy]

ljgs1010 that was just an example to show that I'm not spending thousands of dollars or something. Trust me, if I could afford to go buy that stuff I would, lol.

[cgmb]

@mothereffer haaaiii
Sorry that I've been so awful at logging on lately. I haven't had time at work (which is unacceptable quite frankly!) I miss you too though!! ?

[finnaroo]

tgrimes1980 I think so. Don't most places? Milo is a 60lb tank, but he's always leashed and harnessed. I don't know if the smaller dog just escaped, which I'm not wild about but has happened to my dogs before, so I'm sympathetic, or if they just let him loose.

[dapostrophe]

Also, do we not do FFFC anymore? My confession is that I asked the nanny to come today, partially so I could catch up on social media and chatting with friends online

[mamasoup030]

Mar 6, 2015 10:21:28 GMT -5 untaggablekatie said:

trtlcrzy, I'm sorry.... we have the same issues... I swear I can always feel DH tense up even when I come home from the grocery store...

We deal with this too, especially with 2.0 coming. I have no suggestions trtlcrzy, but tons of commiseration. We had a come to Jesus talk about finances last night also. Not much came out of it in terms of forward progress, but I feel like we both understand each other better as a result.

When you two spoke last night, was it an argument or a discussion? I agree that maybe you can both meet in the middle? It's difficult, especially when you feel like the purchases are necessary ie. Baby clothes, groceries, pantry supplies etc. does he handle any of those purchases? I've found sending my DH to the store helps him to understand what things cost and he backs off a little (until he forgets and we do it again).

[cagoldi]

Mar 6, 2015 10:05:00 GMT -5 kfran84 said:

I wish my kid watched tv. Like, really, really wish.

The only thing he will watch is 5-6 seconds of the Westminster Kennel Club (Dogs! Dogs!) or the opening sequence of Elmo's World

This was A until he saw Bubble Guppies. He tries to sing the song and dances to the intro. He's obsessed. He still won't sit and watch though, he just stops long enough to watch the singing then goes back to his important work of demolishing my living room.

[trtlcrzy]

mamasoup030 it was a discussion. I initiated it. He yells at me about spending so much at the grocery store, but then he goes and does the same thing. It seems to be a never ending cycle with him, lol.

[cagoldi]

Mar 6, 2015 10:12:18 GMT -5 trtlcrzy said:

Mar 6, 2015 10:09:10 GMT -5 ljgs1010 said:

trtlcrzy, did he have a reason for saying that would make him feel closer? It's not computing for me.

He thinks I spend money frivolously, which I do sometimes, so he blames a lot of our issues on that. I feel like he feels like If didn't have any debt and a bunch of money in savings he would be happier. Idk, it's seriously the only thing he talks about.

I think it is important to talk about money and try to get on the same page about spending vs saving. That said, he needs to understand that may be the primary issue for him, but you have other concerns he needs to consider.

[trtlcrzy]

Mar 6, 2015 10:35:01 GMT -5 cagoldi said:

Mar 6, 2015 10:12:18 GMT -5 trtlcrzy said:

He thinks I spend money frivolously, which I do sometimes, so he blames a lot of our issues on that. I feel like he feels like If didn't have any debt and a bunch of money in savings he would be happier. Idk, it's seriously the only thing he talks about.

I think it is important to talk about money and try to get on the same page about spending vs saving. That said, he needs to understand that may be the primary issue for him, but you have other concerns he needs to consider.

I agree, but it's super annoying to be talking about something else and that's his first response.

[mishkaroni]

Mar 6, 2015 8:21:44 GMT -5 @mothereffer said:

DH and I are going on a date tonight. I can't wait.

Enjoy your date! !

[trtlcrzy]

I told my boss I'm going to call in "sick" next Thursday because it's going to be 62. She said no. The last time it was 60 in Sioux Falls was Oct 29 per the news.

[cagoldi]

trtlcrzy IIRC he did not have much growing up? I think for some people, there is always going to be some insecurity about money no matter what they have.

Pete gets into this weird anxiety state about money sometimes. Not about spending, but when a big unexpected expense arises. I finally just had to sit him down, log into both our bank accounts, our mortgage statement, our Fidelity accounts and show him we're fine. Just saying it didn't seem to click, he needed to see the numbers. We have this much in cash, we have this much in retirement, we owe this much on the house, etc. I have had to do this a few times now, but each time he seems to relax. Even if you don't feel like you have enough to make him comfortable with your finances, that kind of talk could be good so you can have a plan of attack. "Spend less money" is not a specific financial goal, he needs to show you where he thinks you can make cuts and where he wants to put that money instead.

[mishkaroni]

Mar 6, 2015 8:35:10 GMT -5 kamakaziartist said:

I just got whip cream on my coffee. Zomg.

That's so grOss. Coffee blech. Whipped cream blech. Together is my own personal hell. Lol

[mishkaroni]

Enjoy me catching up to everyone.. while I wait on the phone with the irs. Because that's what everyone wants to do 30 minutes after waking up at 7 am on a Friday right?

[dapostrophe]

Mar 6, 2015 10:28:11 GMT -5 cgmb said:

@mothereffer haaaiii
Sorry that I've been so awful at logging on lately. I haven't had time at work (which is unacceptable quite frankly!) I miss you too though!! ?

I was naming files yesterday for a project who's identifier is "CSGB" and I legit named 3 of them CGMB before I realized what I was doing. It made me realize how much I've missed you.

[mishkaroni]

Mar 6, 2015 9:24:55 GMT -5 ljgs1010 said:

Morning, all.

We went to bed at 10. Evan was up at 12:30 with a cough and would only sleep in my arms with me sitting up. This resulted in me getting a grand total of 3 hours of broken sleep last night.

Please send a coffee IV.

Aw I hope he's feeling better after mommy love all night. And I hope you get rest!