How common is your mixed race in your area?

[leenziepops]

Hi Everyone! Hoping to get some interesting discussion on this board. Couldn't find a similar thread. 
I'm curious, how common is your mixed race family where you live? Do you get stares or do you blend in pretty well? Let us know!

Please state your mix since we're all still getting to know each other. 

[leenziepops]

I have a Chinese background and DH is Serbian.
So here in Melbourne Australia, my area is very multicultural. Noone blinks twice at us being a mixed couple. It is so common here. Many of my friends are in mixed race relationships, as well as both my older sisters. I'm grateful that I live in such a multicultural and open minded community.

[anakah]

I am Chinese and DH is white. It is a fairly common occurance where I live. The part that gets to be more uncommon is that DH is jewish and I converted. I haven't run into that many Asian Jews if any. Our community is pretty open and accepting so I haven't had any issues about our mixed family. The kids are a good mix of both of us so no one gets any weird stares when we are out and about. I wouldn't say we blend in necessarily, but we don't stand out. I am oblivious half the time though so maybe we do stand out...=P

[happymama]

DH is mixed race (European, Creole, Native American, Bolivian) and "looks" black/mixed race. I am mostly German so very pale/blue eyed, and DD is a perfect mix of the two of us.
We live in the Seattle area and there are a lot of mixed race couples, so we don't feel like we stand out. Occasionally someone will be surprised when we say we are married, but it's rare. I do get questions about the ethnicity of DD's dad when he's not with us, but it has only ever been innocent curiosity since it's impossible to tell her ethnicity just by looking at her.

[gnomesweetgnome]

DH and I are both white, and DS is Black. I don't notice people looking at us much, but it does cause people to ask questions if they have the chance. We get a lot of "where did you adopt him from?" type questions.

[leenziepops]

@nedralynn, I'm so sorry your grandparents actually disowned you. That's really sad, and what a huge loss for them to not be involved with their own grandkids and great grandkids.

gnomesweetgnome, Awkward!

[gnomesweetgnome]

Mar 23, 2015 19:19:46 GMT -5 leenziepops said:

@nedralynn, I'm so sorry your grandparents actually disowned you. That's really sad, and what a huge loss for them to not be involved with their own grandkids and great grandkids.

gnomesweetgnome, Awkward!

Yes, that and "where was he born". It makes me laugh on the inside because he was born in the town we live in and lived in a nearby city before we adopted him.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

I am white, H is Korean. We live in a really diverse area, so it's really not that uncommon. I feel like we get the most looks from other Asian people, especially like at the Asian market or if we go to H's parent's Korean church.

[Maggie0424]

I'm white, DH is Filipino (with some Chinese from his GM). There are not many couples where I live that are AM/WF, there are only 2 others that I personally know of. It's not really much of an issue for us.

The only time I get more comments is when I'm with DD without DH, because I'm blonde haired/blue eyed and DD looks Asian. So people don't think she is mine and make some interesting/rude comments. I'm wondering once DS born and I'm out with both kids if it will make a difference.

[leenziepops]

Mar 24, 2015 14:20:18 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

I am white, H is Korean. We live in a really diverse area, so it's really not that uncommon. I feel like we get the most looks from other Asian people, especially like at the Asian market or if we go to H's parent's Korean church.

I'm going to stereotype and say older generation Asians just cannot help staring! It's such a bad habit.

[kaeguri]

Mar 24, 2015 19:07:39 GMT -5 leenziepops said:

Mar 24, 2015 14:20:18 GMT -5 aimeefarrahfowler said:

I am white, H is Korean. We live in a really diverse area, so it's really not that uncommon. I feel like we get the most looks from other Asian people, especially like at the Asian market or if we go to H's parent's Korean church.

I'm going to stereotype and say older generation Asians just cannot help staring! It's such a bad habit.

^^truth.

I'm Korean, DH is white. Asians aren't that common in my area, but theres enough so that no one seems to notice or comment on it. I do notice that we live in an area where there's a lot of military (DH is Navy) so when I go on base there's a LOT of Asian women with white military guys. I feel like it's fairly common for our particular combo and "socially acceptable" or whatever. If there's any racism, it's usually solely directed at me (assuming I know karate, assuming I don't speak English, assuming I know the answer to any and every math problem ever).

[missjenniebean]

I am in a smaller, dominant white town south of Columbus, OH. SO is Indonesian with dark skin and I am as white. In my area it is getting more common but it is hard to tell if they are looking at us or my pregnant belly - bc I notice a lot of people act like they haven't seen a pregnant woman before and stare when by myself. If we head into Columbus it is a lot more common so we don't get such as many looks either that or they are more open and don't care if you are pregnant and/or in a mixed relationship.

[teambrink]

I'm in a large metro area so our mix (black and white) is pretty common. That isn't to say we've never received any looks, I just don't care enough to worry about it.

gnomesweetgnome,maybe what people want to ask is if you did an African adoption, but they aren't sure of how to go about it?

@nedralynn, I'm sorry that your family is so close minded. I hope they come around soon, but if not, don't let if spoil your happiness.

[gnomesweetgnome]

Mar 26, 2015 6:10:32 GMT -5 teambrink said:

gnomesweetgnome,maybe what people want to ask is if you did an African adoption, but they aren't sure of how to go about it?

I know that's what they're trying to ask.  Most people are very uneducated when it comes to adoption, and I'm not really offended by that.  It is just kind of funny.  If he was white, no one would ask a single question about where he came from, they would just assume I gave birth to him.

[spooko]

It's not common here at all. That said, minorities in general aren't common here. The Hispanic population is slowly creeping up, but there just aren't that many other races around.

[things]

I'm white and black, and DH is white. Mixed ethnicities/relationships is pretty common here in Nor Cal.

[toratoratori]

Mar 23, 2015 15:13:16 GMT -5 gnomesweetgnome said:

DH and I are both white, and DS is Black. I don't notice people looking at us much, but it does cause people to ask questions if they have the chance. We get a lot of "where did you adopt him from?" type questions.

My hubs once asked my coworker, who had a mixed race son from a previous relationship, if he was adopted. I was like, DUDE! You can't just ask people questions like that! Also, how are you missing that aside from skin color, this kid and his mom are IDENTICAL??

[packerfan4life]

My H and I are white and DD is black. We live in a predominantly white area. We get questions and looks relatively frequently. The most awkward was a couple weeks ago at the airport when some random (adult) stranger asked "how did she get so dark?"

[teambrink]

Mar 30, 2015 1:13:59 GMT -5 packerfan4life said:

My H and I are white and DD is black. We live in a predominantly white area. We get questions and looks relatively frequently. The most awkward was a couple weeks ago at the airport when some random (adult) stranger asked "how did she get so dark?"

That is beyond disrespectful. I could see that coming from a curious child, but not an adult! 

[incir]

Mar 26, 2015 6:10:32 GMT -5 teambrink said:

I'm in a large metro area so our mix (black and white) is pretty common. That isn't to say we've never received any looks, I just don't care enough to worry about it.

snip

I have no business being on this thread, but wanted to give you an anecdote about stares to support your decision to just not worry about them.

About 4 years ago I was walking in NYC with H and saw a woman with an amazing coat on.  It was light blue and flared at the bottom with great dark blue trim.  It was seriously amazing and I was totally staring.  I finally looked up at her face as we were about to pass her and she was giving me total stink eye.  About half a block later I realized that she was black and holding hands with a white guy.  I wanted to turn around and explain that I just really liked her coat but at that point it was entirely too late.  I still feel bad about this.  I didn't care at all who she was holding hands with I just really liked her style.  I try to think about this moment when people stare at me in public while my child melts down.  Perhaps they don't care about the screaming toddler they just like my shoes.  Or so I like to think.

[toratoratori]

Mar 30, 2015 9:16:37 GMT -5 incir said:

Mar 26, 2015 6:10:32 GMT -5 teambrink said:

I'm in a large metro area so our mix (black and white) is pretty common. That isn't to say we've never received any looks, I just don't care enough to worry about it.

snip

I have no business being on this thread, but wanted to give you an anecdote about stares to support your decision to just not worry about them.

About 4 years ago I was walking in NYC with H and saw a woman with an amazing coat on.  It was light blue and flared at the bottom with great dark blue trim.  It was seriously amazing and I was totally staring.  I finally looked up at her face as we were about to pass her and she was giving me total stink eye.  About half a block later I realized that she was black and holding hands with a white guy.  I wanted to turn around and explain that I just really liked her coat but at that point it was entirely too late.  I still feel bad about this.  I didn't care at all who she was holding hands with I just really liked her style.  I try to think about this moment when people stare at me in public while my child melts down.  Perhaps they don't care about the screaming toddler they just like my shoes.  Or so I like to think.

If this had been me, there would have been NO misunderstanding. I am that socially award filter-less person who just blurts out "ERMAGERD YOUR COAT IS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" to complete strangers.

[missjenniebean]

Mar 30, 2015 18:30:17 GMT -5 toratoratori said:

Mar 30, 2015 9:16:37 GMT -5 incir said:

I have no business being on this thread, but wanted to give you an anecdote about stares to support your decision to just not worry about them.

About 4 years ago I was walking in NYC with H and saw a woman with an amazing coat on.  It was light blue and flared at the bottom with great dark blue trim.  It was seriously amazing and I was totally staring.  I finally looked up at her face as we were about to pass her and she was giving me total stink eye.  About half a block later I realized that she was black and holding hands with a white guy.  I wanted to turn around and explain that I just really liked her coat but at that point it was entirely too late.  I still feel bad about this.  I didn't care at all who she was holding hands with I just really liked her style.  I try to think about this moment when people stare at me in public while my child melts down.  Perhaps they don't care about the screaming toddler they just like my shoes.  Or so I like to think.

If this had been me, there would have been NO misunderstanding. I am that socially award filter-less person who just blurts out "ERMAGERD YOUR COAT IS AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG" to complete strangers.

This is so me. I always feel like a creep when I tell people I like their shirt/coat/purse or whatever it is, mainly BC they give me a funny look before saying thank you.

[beevol]

My subdivision is full of young families and I'd say well over half of the families I see taking walks/playing in their yards are 'mixed race' - both where the adults appear to be different races and where the kids appear to be different races (from the parents and in one case, also from each other). I can think of only one other family where both parents and the kids appear to all be the same race/ethnicity without also being immigrants.

[packerfan4life]

Mar 30, 2015 6:15:00 GMT -5 teambrink said:

Mar 30, 2015 1:13:59 GMT -5 packerfan4life said:

My H and I are white and DD is black. We live in a predominantly white area. We get questions and looks relatively frequently. The most awkward was a couple weeks ago at the airport when some random (adult) stranger asked "how did she get so dark?"

That is beyond disrespectful. I could see that coming from a curious child, but not an adult! 

Yeah, I was astounded. I tried to make my response (hopefully) educational and polite. Although I was tempted to reply back with something less nice

[leenziepops]

Apr 2, 2015 15:52:03 GMT -5 packerfan4life said:

Mar 30, 2015 6:15:00 GMT -5 teambrink said:

That is beyond disrespectful. I could see that coming from a curious child, but not an adult! 

Yeah, I was astounded. I tried to make my response (hopefully) educational and polite. Although I was tempted to reply back with something less nice

Some people aren't worth the attempt to educate. Damn I thought PG women hear it all. There's a whole new ball game here!

[toratoratori]

The Passover Seder I went to on Saturday had five couples. Of them, three were interracial / interfaith. If my husband had been there, we would have been a fourth interfaith couple. It was nuts. I was like, "Really? NO ONE married another Jew??"

[meggo]

We live in a large metro area, so it's pretty common, but we still get stares (I am a white American, MH is a black West African). I actually find myself, unintentionally, staring at other mixed race couples- I don't know why, maybe it's just the "wow, other people like us!" factor
We like to take small trips to cities within driving distance that we can getaway to for the weekend, and sometimes this takes us to some back-roads country areas and we definitely get stares. We drive up to OH occasionally to see my family and this happens a lot in Virginia & West Virginia. 

[happymama]

Apr 7, 2015 13:46:26 GMT -5 meggo said:

We live in a large metro area, so it's pretty common, but we still get stares (I am a white American, MH is a black West African). I actually find myself, unintentionally, staring at other mixed race couples- I don't know why, maybe it's just the "wow, other people like us!" factor
We like to take small trips to cities within driving distance that we can getaway to for the weekend, and sometimes this takes us to some back-roads country areas and we definitely get stares. We drive up to OH occasionally to see my family and this happens a lot in Virginia & West Virginia. 

I used to never notice mixed race couples or families. It's not uncommon where I live and something I consider pretty normal. Then I married DH and suddenly realized that we do stand out among our friends and in our social circles. We got surprised looks or comments when we introduced each other to friends and family, and while people were mostly polite, it was obvious that we didn't fit the norm. Now I DO notice mixed race couples, I think it's pretty normal to notice other people who share common interests or are in a similar situation as you.

[marcyreyes]

Hiiiii!!! I'am was lurking here because i am too in an interracial relationship. I live in az about 20mins from the mexican boarder. I am Latina (mexican) there's not much whites or black here, but my bf is white. My family was shocked because .... Well let me just be real mexican like to talk a lot of crap about ppl that are not in the Latin culture. My family was not every expecting of our relationship so when they found I was pregos goodness it was horrible. So my DS (4months) is half white and half Latin. My DD (5 years old) is from my sperm donor when I was 16 and she is half Native American and Latin.....

[sonpetitlapin]

Living in No Va it wasn't bad at all. It is a very transit and diverse area. Where I live now is less diverse. MH sees is more then me because I just don't give a flying flip. Where we live is less diverse then where he was born and raised 60 miles away. He notices people alway looking at "him". He is 6'4 and has a strong commanding presence. I laugh though and ask, Uh, darling could it be the are staring at "us". How often do you see an interracial couple with the man being 6'4 and the woman being just under 6'2"? One incident, most likely was innocent but the way it came out made our jaw drop. We were living out of Sam's club and an older white woman checked us out. She looked at me as said: "I see you brought your "help." Yeah.

My kids are African American. Their farther being West African. They are darker complexion. They can seriously pass as black. I have been asked a few times when I was alone with them if they are mine.