PGAL Check In 1/20

[elvenqueen]

Hi ladies! I know tlc35 was doing these check ins over on TB, but I don't think I've seen her over here yet (although I might be mistaken!). Felt like I needed to write something today so thought I might as well start it off for today.

1. How far along are you? What fruit?

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?

3. Appointments this week?

4. How long have you and your partner been together?

[elvenqueen]

1. How far along are you? What fruit?
10 weeks + 2 days, prune

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
Feeling weird today. It's my EDD for my angel, and I can't believe it's been 19 weeks since I lost him. I think I'm doing well with it because I've been distracted by this pregnancy, but it's also made me feel a bit detached from it. I can see everything go wrong again, and I don't know how I'll cope with that, especially if I end up with another 2nd trimester loss. Just wish I had James with me today

3. Appointments this week?
Waiting on my letter from the hospital giving me an appointment for my dating scan and combined/nuchal screening. I think it'll be when I'm about 12 weeks.
ETA: My letter just arrived, so my U/S will be on Feb 5th when I'll be 12+4. Two weeks seems so long to wait!

4. How long have you and your partner been together?
We met online late 2006. We've been living together for nearly seven years, and we've been married a little over one.

[2dumbdogs]

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 11 weeks today which puts me at lime

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Ok i guess. My husband keeps telling me how excited he is and i feel really bad because I'm not excited. Not at all. I don't actively worry or think bad things are going to happen, but i still don't want to get attached.

3. Appointments this week? None

4. How long have you and your partner been together? Umm we met in 2008, married since 2011.

[2dumbdogs]

elvenqueen i know today is hard. On the day my daughter would have been due my husband and i actually took off work and spent it doing things to honor her. I baked her an angel food cake for her birthday. We haven't celebrated any of the anniversaries, but doing something special for that first one really helped.

[oopsiedaisies]

elvenqueen I'm so sorry for your loss. Due dates are hard. I haven't hit mine yet but I can't imagine what you are going through.

[oopsiedaisies]

1. Somewhere btwn 8w6d and 7w6d. We will see in a week if my EDD changes.
2. I'm doing ok. I'm past the point I lost my last baby but it's been 2 weeks since I heard the heartbeat and that's nerve wracking.
3. None this week
4. The 26th will be 4 years since our first date. We've been married 3.5 yrs.

[malelz]

Thank you for doing this elvenqueen. I really need this today. It's my due date as well. I hope you get through your day alright.


1. How far along are you? What fruit? 8w5d/raspberry

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Terrible. I didn't realize coming to the due date of my lost angel would be so hard. I really don't know how I am going to make it through the workday. As of now, I am trying to stay locked up in the office until the store opens. I keep crying and I'm worried my employees will see. I don't feel very supported by my H. It's not that he doesn't realize what I'm going through, he's just never been great at emotional support. Today is just hard.

3. Appointments this week? My first midwife appointment and ultrasound are tomorrow. I am terrified. With my last pregnancy, I had decided to put off an ultrasound until 20 wks. I never saw my baby until the mc. Now, instead of being excited about my appointment, I am just freaked out.

4. How long have you and your partner been together? Next month it will be 5 years together. Married 3 years in March. He's pretty great most of these time.

[misschanandlerbong]

Thanks for the check in


1. How far along are you? What fruit? I am currently 12 weeks but my due date got moved up to July 30. I still plan on hanging out here. No on wedding anniversary due date for us

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
Good.. had the n-t scan last Friday and feeling relieved that everything looks good and my risk is really low.

3. Appointments this week? Nope...I just wait to have the midwife write me and tell me when my first appointment is. (I live in Europe)

4. How long have you and your partner been together? Together 14 years and married 6. I can't really remember time in my life without him.

[spartykim]

Sorry for everyone's prior due dates today and the pain they bring.

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 12w1d - plum

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Getting anxious. Last appt was at 10w1d and I have to wait another 2 weeks for my next appt. I have no reason to be anxious other than the amount of time that has gone by...doc thought I'm past the danger zone so my appts are now 4 weeks apart instead of 2.

3. Appointments this week? Not until 4 Feb

4. How long have you and your partner been together? We started dating 15 yrs ago, were engaged for 3 yrs (college), and have been married for 11.5 yrs.

[misschanandlerbong]

Jan 20, 2015 8:24:13 GMT -5 malelz said:

Thank you for doing this elvenqueen. I really need this today. It's my due date as well. I hope you get through your day alright.


1. How far along are you? What fruit? 8w5d/raspberry

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Terrible. I didn't realize coming to the due date of my lost angel would be so hard. I really don't know how I am going to make it through the workday. As of now, I am trying to stay locked up in the office until the store opens. I keep crying and I'm worried my employees will see. I don't feel very supported by my H. It's not that he doesn't realize what I'm going through, he's just never been great at emotional support. Today is just hard.

3. Appointments this week? My first midwife appointment and ultrasound are tomorrow. I am terrified. With my last pregnancy, I had decided to put off an ultrasound until 20 wks. I never saw my baby until the mc. Now, instead of being excited about my appointment, I am just freaked out.

I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and I will be thinking about you.

I am so sorry for your loss of your angel. ((Hugs))  Please take care of yourself and even if you need to step out for a bit I am sure your employees will hopefully understand. MH struggles with emotionally supporting me as well. I think he just wants to try and fix something but nothing can really be fixed.

What really helped me was doing something to remember the baby. I know it is not great for the environment but I wrote a letter to my angel baby just talking about all my hopes and dreams I had for him-her and tied it to a green balloon as we did not know the sex. It really helped me get out some of those feelings. We have also planted a beautiful Japanese cherry tree in our yard in remembrance for our 3 losses. 


((Hugs))


Feel free to PM me....I am probably at least 6 hours ahead of you but I can just my PM before I go to bed tonight and write you when I wake up.

[misschanandlerbong]

Jan 20, 2015 6:53:25 GMT -5 2dumbdogs said:

elvenqueen i know today is hard. On the day my daughter would have been due my husband and i actually took off work and spent it doing things to honor her. I baked her an angel food cake for her birthday. We haven't celebrated any of the anniversaries, but doing something special for that first one really helped.

First off Shainarichelle I am so sorry for your loss of James. ((hugs)) to you on this hard day.

I agree with 2dumbdogs (sorry still learning how to tag) and doing something to honor my loss really helped me. I typed out below but I wrote a letter to the baby and tied it to a balloon and let it go. It really helped me get some of those feelings out.

[smartiepants]

1. How far along are you? What fruit?
10 weeks and 3 days - prune

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
Struggling. I've barely had any symptoms aside from exhaustion so posting here makes it seem more real. I want to be excited but I'm a little nervous that something will happen again.

3. Appointments this week?
None - 2 next week.

4. How long have you and your partner been together?
7 years - married for ~1.5.

[malelz]

Jan 20, 2015 8:52:53 GMT -5 misschanandlerbong said:

Jan 20, 2015 8:24:13 GMT -5 malelz said:

Thank you for doing this elvenqueen. I really need this today. It's my due date as well. I hope you get through your day alright.


1. How far along are you? What fruit? 8w5d/raspberry

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Terrible. I didn't realize coming to the due date of my lost angel would be so hard. I really don't know how I am going to make it through the workday. As of now, I am trying to stay locked up in the office until the store opens. I keep crying and I'm worried my employees will see. I don't feel very supported by my H. It's not that he doesn't realize what I'm going through, he's just never been great at emotional support. Today is just hard.

3. Appointments this week? My first midwife appointment and ultrasound are tomorrow. I am terrified. With my last pregnancy, I had decided to put off an ultrasound until 20 wks. I never saw my baby until the mc. Now, instead of being excited about my appointment, I am just freaked out.

I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow and I will be thinking about you.

I am so sorry for your loss of your angel. ((Hugs))  Please take care of yourself and even if you need to step out for a bit I am sure your employees will hopefully understand. MH struggles with emotionally supporting me as well. I think he just wants to try and fix something but nothing can really be fixed.

What really helped me was doing something to remember the baby. I know it is not great for the environment but I wrote a letter to my angel baby just talking about all my hopes and dreams I had for him-her and tied it to a green balloon as we did not know the sex. It really helped me get out some of those feelings. We have also planted a beautiful Japanese cherry tree in our yard in remembrance for our 3 losses. 


((Hugs))


Feel free to PM me....I am probably at least 6 hours ahead of you but I can just my PM before I go to bed tonight and write you when I wake up.

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I do need to do something in remembrance today. I wish I could go visit my baby's grave, but we moved so it's a little far away. I may make the trip if I get off early.

[flippinchica]

Thanks for starting this elvenqueen. EDD are really hard elvenqueen and @malelz.

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 11w (lime) according to OB but by ovulation I'm really 10.5 weeks.

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? OK. I got my doppler yesterday and it took me over an hour to hear the HB but when I was sure I heard it, it was quite reassuring.

3. Appointments this week?
Nothing this week. NT scan is next week.

4. How long have you and your partner been together? We first met right before Christmas 2010, so 4 years. Married for a year and a half but we are older so we needed to move thing along!

[shannonabigail]

Really needed this the last couple of days. Prayers for you guys on your due dates - the one for our angel is next week and not really sure how I'm going to handle it.

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 9 weeks 5 days - green olive, soon to be prune

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Slapping me around the last couple of days. I haven't had ANY signs that anything is wrong. My symptoms have dropped off dramatically in the last week which I know doesn't mean anything but it doesn't stop my brain from thinking the worst. I keep trying to tell myself that everything is ok but then I convince myself that we won't see anything at the next appointment. Really thinking about investing in a doppler.

3. Appointments this week? Next thursday and the wait is getting to me!

4. How long have you and your partner been together? Dating for just over 3, married for just over a year and a half. We were friends for 10 years before we started dating.

Thanks for doing these!

[flippinchica]

@piedpiper07, it did help to have a full(ish) bladder. Start right above your pubic bone and move the probe really slowly to the right or left, stop and listen, then move it a tiny bit more. This time mine was a bit to the left of center but of course it could be either side.

[elvenqueen]

Thanks ladies for your thoughts and kind words. I had a bit of a wobble today when I went for my walk but I think it was just because I couldn't distract myself. I've delved into my work and I feel okay. I did want DH home with me today but I thought I'd be distracted enough with this pregnancy, and he's so swamped with work anyway. I would like to do something for James, but we'll probably be too busy until the weekend.

Thinking of you today, malelz (malelz). Hope you get through your work day without too much stress, and hopefully everything will go perfectly at your ultrasound and seeing your little rainbow will lift your spirits.

[divinemsbee]

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 9w6d, so, olive, but I'll be prune tomorrow.

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? It comes and goes. I find myself role-playing different conversations in my head. Telling people, not telling people, I try to keep it upbeat and optimistic, which is not my natural state. It's kind of set in that my next appointment isn't for another 2 weeks, which feels like forever. I know it's because my doc was happy with everything, I'm just starting to get nervous.

3. Appointments this week? Well, it looks like we've de facto decided to not do the NT scan. I'd have to let my doctor know pretty much now, but we can't get into the genetics class until after 13 weeks. In ways, I'm okay with it, because it would just be another thing to freak over. I do think we'll do the quad screen, though. And I have to go in this week and do my 3 hour glucose. Next appoinment is Feb.4.

4. How long have you and your partner been together? A bit over 6 years. We met at a Halloween party on November 1, 2008, and we got married November 3, 2012.

[cheesypeas]

((hugs)) to you elvenqueen and malelz today on your due dates. Due dates are so hard. My due date with Layla (stillborn at 24w) was a horrible horrible day. My due date was also my son's birthday, so my husband and I both took the day off and tried to make it a fun day for him but all I just kept reliving the stark differences of my delivery experiences with DS and DD. I'm so glad that day is behind me.

1. How far along are you? What fruit?
8w6d today, so a raspberry getting ready to morph into an olive.

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
Okay. I had an ultrasound last week and our LO measured right on track with a fhr of 170, so that made me feel better than my previous ultrasound where he/she was measuring slightly behind. I also found the little squirt with my doppler this past weekend. I'm not past either of my loss milestones, and I'm sure my major PgAL freak-outs are yet to come but today, I'm okay, so I'll take it.

3. Appointments this week? Nope. Next ultrasound and appointment is a week from tomorrow.

4. How long have you and your partner been together? We've been together for 9 years and married for 4.5.

[flippinchica]

Also FYI elvenqueen I was/am TLC35 on the bump. I changed my name with the move for more privacy. You are totally cool starting this check in though!

Also trying to up my post count so I'm not a newb anymore!

[elvenqueen]

Jan 20, 2015 14:59:39 GMT -5 flippinchica said:

Also FYI elvenqueen I was/am TLC35 on the bump. I changed my name with the move for more privacy. You are totally cool starting this check in though!

Also trying to up my post count so I'm not a newb anymore!

See, I knew I'd seen your avatar around somewhere, but I looked for you in Intro thread and couldn't see you! Not sure if you're still juggling TB, and if you want to take back the check-in next week. I'm good either way but happy to help out with it!

[annabananabomb]

elvenqueen and malelz you're both in my thoughts today. I hope you get through ok and that you've got people in your life who can give you big hugs and support today. Here's a virtual one, I'm sorry I can't do more (((hugs)))

1. How far along are you? What fruit?
12w4d, plum

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
Really great, after the last u/s I've really felt like I've been able to relax and get excited for this bubba. Have started planning midwife conversations and nursery etc.

3. Appointments this week?
Next u/s will be 16 Feb

4. How long have you and your partner been together?
I had to count! Married just over a year, together for 6.

[mara005]

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 12 weeks / Plum

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? Doing pretty well, saw my therapist yesterday and talked about my feelings and plans.

3. Appointments this week? Not until next week (the 27th) for my NT scan.

4. How long have you and your partner been together? In a relationship for 9 years, married for almost 7.

[mommakc]

I didn't do these over at TB, I never actually saw one, but I would love to join!


1. How far along are you? What fruit? I am 12w2d/Plum (I can't help but think sugar plum fairy)

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? I lost my daughter at 23 weeks, so even though everything is going beautifully so far, I don't think my brain will relax until this baby is in my arms.

3. Appointments this week? Blood work yesterday, another scan and results this Friday. Can't wait to see how much she's grown!

4. How long have you and your partner been together? Five years

[mommakc]

Jan 20, 2015 6:13:45 GMT -5 elvenqueen said:

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
Feeling weird today. It's my EDD for my angel, and I can't believe it's been 19 weeks since I lost him. I think I'm doing well with it because I've been distracted by this pregnancy, but it's also made me feel a bit detached from it. I can see everything go wrong again, and I don't know how I'll cope with that, especially if I end up with another 2nd trimester loss. Just wish I had James with me today

I'm sorry, lady. I know it's tough, my EDD was new years eve, I didn't get out of bed. Thinking of you and yours today!

[mommakc]

malelz - I'm sorry you're going through this as well. My husband is great, but terrible with words in these situations. Hang in there, take care if yourself. T&P's.

[oopsiedaisies]

malelz hugs lady!! I'm so sorry that you are having a rough day. We are here for you.

[goldenb]

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 12wks, prune

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? This pregnancy is a lot easier than my first which followed immediately after my loss. DS is a great distraction and the nausea is still very prominent, and unpleasant as it, it is quite reassuring.

3. Appointments this week? NEWP.



4. How long have you and your partner been together?My H and I have been married for 4yrs. But have known each other for 8yrs.

[hopefulreturn]

Thanks for getting this going over here.

1. How far along are you? What fruit?
10 weeks, 3 days

2. How is PGAL brain treating you?
My mind is wandering all over the place. Some days I feel excited and like this could be real, and then other days I really worry about our scan in two weeks and getting bad news. Our last pregnancy, over three years ago, the baby stopped growing at six weeks. So this time our 7 week ultrasound brought some relief. But that last missed miscarriage wasn't found until 12 weeks, so I'm hoping I'll relax more when we reach that milestone.

3. Appointments this week?
Nope. My appointments feel so drawn out now!

4. How long have you and your partner been together?
We started dating 15 years ago and have been married for 5 years.

[queenb]

So sorry to read about everyone's losses, and extra T&P for those dealing with difficult anniversaries

1. How far along are you? What fruit? 12 weeks today - Plum.

2. How is PGAL brain treating you? A lot better after seeing baby on an ultrasound yesterday. I will never feel 100% at ease, but things look really good. I'm finally allowing myself to be excited and plan for the future. I'm sure we'll tell more people in the next couple of weeks.

3. Appointments this week? Had our NT scan yesterday - I think the next one will be doppler/check up in 2 weeks.

4. How long have you and your partner been together? We've been together over 11 years and married 3.5 years.