I've been reading along the whole time and am also confused. Someone just tell me if I don't go here anymore and I'll stay on my BMB from now on. I've only been on TTGP/GKU for about six months and it does feel like home to me, but this conversation makes me feel bad for still being here...
I dunno. There's a period of limbo where TTC starts getting hard, but you aren't TTTC yet. Tickers have never bothered me, but toward the end, I did stop checking out BFPs and the grad threads on hard days. So I do get how seeing tickers around here could be rough for some people, but because they aren't in 3T; this is their safe place.
But again, my question is, is it just tickers? Is it any mention of pregnancy in sigs? Where is the line?
I'm aware of this period. I still don't think this board needs to bend to that.
Maybe I'm being a hardass. When I was having a hard day, I just logged off and did something else.
I'm having a shitastic time handling all the positives that were posted this weekend. I'm sad that all my friends are leaving this board. Maybe that's my perspective - I hate seeing people that I've come to know just up and away.
I dunno. There's a period of limbo where TTC starts getting hard, but you aren't TTTC yet. Tickers have never bothered me, but toward the end, I did stop checking out BFPs and the grad threads on hard days. So I do get how seeing tickers around here could be rough for some people, but because they aren't in 3T; this is their safe place.
But again, my question is, is it just tickers? Is it any mention of pregnancy in sigs? Where is the line?
Sure, there are hard things for everyone. But that point is different for everyone. I have a crazy hard time with all the posts this year about parents enrolling their kids in kindergarten because my son should be that age. So I've turned them off and ignored them - I can't go and ask everyone not to post about that, y'know?
Perhaps what is really happening is that there needs to be a ttc 6+ board. I don't know. If there were no option here for anyone to disable sigs or avatars, then I would agree that a really in-depth conversation might be necessary. But while that option exists, I don't understand why that is not a valid option or is pushing people away. I really just don't.
I agree. There are so many boards to choose from here that are tailored to specific needs or problems. After my loss, I chose to come back to GKU because I felt at home here. No one told me I had to go over to TCAL now, since I'd had the experience of getting pregnant. And because I made that choice, I also accepted that I would be exposed to things like BFP threads and mention of living children from women who are TFAS. Having a board that's pretty much all-inclusive means dealing with those things and more. If I'm having a particularly rough day, I know I can go hang out at Pregnancy Loss. Or I can step away from the computer altogether. I feel like everyone here goes out of their way to be sensitive to those who struggle with IF or loss, anyway. But there's a line between sensitivity and censoring.
Also, like joy said, this is GKU. Most of us are, were, or will be trying to get pregnant, and the vast majority of women here will get BFPs at some point. That's just the reality of the board.
I dunno. There's a period of limbo where TTC starts getting hard, but you aren't TTTC yet. Tickers have never bothered me, but toward the end, I did stop checking out BFPs and the grad threads on hard days. So I do get how seeing tickers around here could be rough for some people, but because they aren't in 3T; this is their safe place.
But again, my question is, is it just tickers? Is it any mention of pregnancy in sigs? Where is the line?
I'm aware of this period. I still don't think this board needs to bend to that.
Maybe I'm being a hardass. When I was having a hard day, I just logged off and did something else.
I'm having a shitastic time handling all the positives that were posted this weekend. I'm sad that all my friends are leaving this board. Maybe that's my perspective - I hate seeing people that I've come to know just up and away.
I'm not at all saying that I'm not biased.
I feel exactly the same way. I just am wary of expressing it, because I have never had the experience of dealing with IF, and I know I'm in no way qualified to say how someone who knows that struggle should or should not feel about some of these topics. I'm aware that I have a limited viewpoint, and I'm careful because of that. I wish we could find a solution that didn't exclude or alienate anybody.
Post by wanderingheart on Mar 30, 2015 19:33:45 GMT -5
The thing is, because our board is so inclusive it has people who are just starting out and are "on the crazy train" in their first month of TTC. Then we have those of us who are struggling, whether they have already reached the year mark or not. We have two extreme ends of the spectrum. Somebody's feelings are going to get hurt here.
I have no solutions. I have my bad days, and I tend to stick to the drinking thread on those days.
The thing is, because our board is so inclusive it has people who are just starting out and are "on the crazy train" in their first month of TTC. Then we have those of us who are struggling, whether they have already reached the year mark or not. We have two extreme ends of the spectrum. Somebody's feelings are going to get hurt here.
I have no solutions. I have my bad days, and I tend to stick to the drinking thread on those days.
Drinking threads ARE a solution.
Seriously. We'd probably all feel better if we did a shot together.
This, right here. You just dismissed my feelings again and basically said what I feel is not important.
joy, if this board is not the same concept at TTGP was, then why the hell is it called GETTING knocked up? Getting. I take that to mean it should be the home board of those who are wanting to get knocked up. Yes, that does mean that people who are pregnant and/or have been pregnant have important things to add to the conversations. But, I am sorry, it should not mean pregnant people should be posting in all the randoms threads and making chit chat all day long. Also, the pregnancy tickers bother me. I get that not everyone agrees, but I still have felt incredibly dismissed and I still do not see why I have to hid all siggies when posting on the board I "go" to. I do not fit in on any of the other boards and I also don't want to leave my friends on GKU.
That's how I feel, and it is why I no longer come to GKU. I see nothing will change and so enjoy your community.
Perhaps what is really happening is that there needs to be a ttc 6+ board. I don't know. If there were no option here for anyone to disable sigs or avatars, then I would agree that a really in-depth conversation might be necessary. But while that option exists, I don't understand why that is not a valid option or is pushing people away. I really just don't.
I think maybe we need something for that in-between space... Maybe something as simple as a check-in. This board does a better job with loss than it does with delayed conception. TWW is awful after the six month mark, and while impatience =|= infertility some kind of loss is occurring as the months tick by. It is hard to not have a place that is safe for that frustration and fear.
What are yu confused about? I'm not chart reading expert, but I'm happy to throw you two cents if I can.
I have a few slight temp spikes but then my temp goes back down. However, based on my ovulation test and my CM I am pretty sure that I ovulated. Usually my CM and ovulation test do not contradict my temperature
Based purely on temps I don't think you ovulated, but your secondaries are there. Maybe someone else who is better at reading charts will have something more productive to add. Sorry I'm not helpful.
This, right here. You just dismissed my feelings again and basically said what I feel is not important.
joy, if this board is not the same concept at TTGP was, then why the hell is it called GETTING knocked up? Getting. I take that to mean it should be the home board of those who are wanting to get knocked up. Yes, that does mean that people who are pregnant and/or have been pregnant have important things to add to the conversations. But, I am sorry, it should not mean pregnant people should be posting in all the randoms threads and making chit chat all day long. Also, the pregnancy tickers bother me. I get that not everyone agrees, but I still have felt incredibly dismissed and I still do not see why I have to hid all siggies when posting on the board I "go" to. I do not fit in on any of the other boards and I also don't want to leave my friends on GKU.
That's how I feel, and it is why I no longer come to GKU. I see nothing will change and so enjoy your community.
This is where I struggle. DanaScullyX You and I are basically the same person. I love you and don't want you to leave. I have grieved your losses and wish you the stickiest of sticky rainbow babies. I don't want you to leave. And I don't want you to leave when you get your rainbow. So I don't know how to make everyone happy. Because I want you here. But I also want frankenboom, @miawallace, bibliothecary, risscaboobs (and many more) here too. I don't want to cast as side your feelings, because you are important to me. So, even though I'm doing a terrible job explaining, at least take away from this that I love you
Can someone please explain to me the difference between pregnancy tickers and child birthday tickers/pictures of children?
I was just going to ask something similar. How is it ok for those with living children who aren't currently TTC to post, but not those who are KU? Both can provide helpful information and good support. Maybe its just my opinion.
I have a few slight temp spikes but then my temp goes back down. However, based on my ovulation test and my CM I am pretty sure that I ovulated. Usually my CM and ovulation test do not contradict my temperature
Based purely on temps I don't think you ovulated, but your secondaries are there. Maybe someone else who is better at reading charts will have something more productive to add. Sorry I'm not helpful.
I agree with you on this one. It doesn't look like you ovulated W.
This, right here. You just dismissed my feelings again and basically said what I feel is not important.
joy, if this board is not the same concept at TTGP was, then why the hell is it called GETTING knocked up? Getting. I take that to mean it should be the home board of those who are wanting to get knocked up. Yes, that does mean that people who are pregnant and/or have been pregnant have important things to add to the conversations. But, I am sorry, it should not mean pregnant people should be posting in all the randoms threads and making chit chat all day long. Also, the pregnancy tickers bother me. I get that not everyone agrees, but I still have felt incredibly dismissed and I still do not see why I have to hid all siggies when posting on the board I "go" to. I do not fit in on any of the other boards and I also don't want to leave my friends on GKU.
That's how I feel, and it is why I no longer come to GKU. I see nothing will change and so enjoy your community.
And I'm sorry to see you go. I am. But I just don't think the board should be censored. We can agree to disagree.
Can someone please explain to me the difference between pregnancy tickers and child birthday tickers/pictures of children?
I think that, at least for me, hearing about pregnancies and new babies is harder than seeing older children when TTC gets hard. I understand both sides of the ticker issue and I don't really have an easy answer. I'm sorry that people are feeling pushed out and are missing grads.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.